And so visionaries like Netflix will come unto these shores and live the Australian malware dream ...

The pond has gone quiet on the NBN, yet recent links by a correspondent stirred the pond to thinking, or perhaps to brooding.

At least it's not brooding about the Jensenists shamelessly using what should have been an apology as a chance for a grab at more cash in the paw funding, so that angry Sydney Anglicans should be "resourced" for the doing of the making good (here) ...

Oh just sell a cathedral or two ... stop building that temple to fundamentalist theology, Moore College, and splash the cash to assuage your guilt ...

No, better to not go there, and instead look at what the reptiles make of it all, now that their dream of a broken NBN has come to pass ...

Sure enough,  the reptile technology pages make for much laughter. This is a snapshot of yesterdays top stories ...

Uh huh, down at the bottom was that recycling of the NBN's unseemly and unwholesome praise of itself, developed by the usual ploy of getting a mob to come up with a result much desired ...

Well minister, as we all know, it's wise to know the answer to an inquiry before it starts ...

The Australian can reveal ...

... that research into the NBN, commissioned by the NBN and revealed by the NBN ... assures the world that everything's hunky dory ..

Could it get any more pathetic? No doubt some boffin in the NBN thought it was a jolly whiz and a jape.

Drop out some research and then watch the reptiles scramble to report the good news, so Penn and Teller celebrate yet another fine example of the art of distraction...

Meanwhile ...

Oh, after the hunky dory comes the warning?

Ah that'd be the known unknowns, or are they the unknown unknowns?

The ones that Malware paid a shitload of money for, before hoping to dump the unholy mess back into the hands of private vultures, or perhaps Telstra, which these days is much the same thing ...

Of course, it's helpful to remember previous bouts of blather, as recorded in Malcolm Turnbull's NBN is rolling according to plan - the new plan, that is ...

The-then communications minister Malcolm Turnbull and Tony Abbott announced earlier that year that a Coalition government would dump Labor's project, and spend a maximum of $29.5 billion on the construction of a network that was an amalgam of fibre to the home, fibre to neighbourhood junction boxes, fixed wireless, and satellite. 
All premises would have access to download speeds of between 25 and 100 megabits a second by 2016, and 50 to 100 megabits a second by 2019, they said. 
After winning power in September 2013 and seeing inside the black box, Turnbull said the project would cost $41 billion, but that Labor's project would have cost up to $73 billion. The construction timeline was extended, and minimum download speeds were wound back. 
Then in August last year, weeks before he mounted his successful leadership challenge, Turnbull and the NBN Co changed tack again. 
It is the targets set last August for 8 million homes to be connected by 2020 and a total project cost of between $46 billion to $56 billion that the government and NBN Co are on track to achieve. In August, Turnbull and Morrow also claimed that Labor's fibre-to-the-home network would cost up to $84 billion if revived.

It's as comprehensive a set of lies as might be found, with Maiden also parroting in that piece how customers are satisfied with their second and third rate broadband ... according to NBN research ...

And yet ... and yet ... each day the pond is irritated at the way the private sector delivered fast connectivity to inner city Sydney apartments long before the NBN arrived.

And then the late arrival, spurned at least by some who saw no need to change, tried to exert their right to a monopoly, because it was a threat to their business model and because wannabe, inept monopolies must do what wannabe monopolies must do...

Because right from the beginning the roll-out was mis-planned and badly executed, and now the dumping of second rate offerings in a hodge podge fashion around the land is being celebrated as a consummation of Malware's dream ...

It was around this time that the pond took a look at this reptile piece ...

Oh fuck, what drivel. The entrepreneurs lurking in the woodwork.

They don't even lurk in a hard drive?

What entrepreneurs? What new services? Netflix is a new service? Stan and Presto regurgitating American product is a new service?

That's it? Recycling Hollywood product is the beginning and the end of the entrepreneurial dream?

That's the best Morrow's got to offer? It'll help Netflix and a few others with deep enough pockets and a willingness to go along with territorial limitations and geoblocking beloved of Hollywood, and that's it?

So provided the NBN is good enough for streaming the latest Hollywood crap, that's good enough ...

It's such a debilitating sense of what the unknown unknowns might have offered ...

The pond's tip to any young entrepreneur? If you've got a good idea for the intertubes, head off to the United States ... you'll find no life here, though you might find a second rate service.

In the USA, they dream of gibabytes, here they dream of 12 mbps ...

What you're facing here is a half-assed, half-baked system where sirens sing their own songs in celebration of their wondrous achievements ...

Remember this nauseating spectacle?

Not so long ago, and yet even since then the bullshit had to be modified ...

Oh okay, that's just Labor propaganda, and Stephen Conroy fucked it up as much as the next man, but is it any consolation to hear that both sides fucked it up, and now all we're getting is Malware Fraudband?

And feeble-minded, addle-brained clowns like Fletcher leapt into print to explain how fine and dandy it all was?

News flash Mr Fletcher. Vodafone is the shittiest network of them all - the pond should know, it keeps a legacy phone and a plan that irritates the hell out of them, just to spite the bastards ...

And right now we're slowly, hesitantly copping a service that's designed on the principle of panem et circenses ... 

If it's fast enough to stream some Hollywood soma, that'll be good enough ... even if, in the case of HFC, it involves recycling a thirty year old network .... or in the case of copper, an ill-maintained network which will require a motza to fix in the areas the NBN has studiously avoided to date ...

It's around this point that's all that's left to the pond are memes ...

Yes, he actually said that one, as he dropped his cash on copper and HFC, and you can find it and much more nonsense here ...

Turnbull: You can’t future proof anything in truth, so the idea that you would invest in a technology which will last for thirty years is pretty naive. Better to invest in the tech that works now and in the foreseeable future which means you can invest in better and better tech as time goes on. This is better financially, time value of money etc, and also gives the optionality you need in such a disruptive tech environment.

How about this one?

The pond recognises the code. If you want fast broadband, be prepared to pay for the connection yourself, when surely, inevitably, the decision to invest in copper and HFC reveals certain limitations ... you know, like they did when you partied in 1999 ...

Well the pond would, or at least it would welcome private enterprise delivering connectivity as they briefly managed to do for inner city apartment blocks.

Until the monopoly struck, and the results came home to roost ...

And so the dream and the vision as originally outlined by the original visionary continues ... and the memes are as slow to load as ever ...