In which the pond has a bad hair day, thanks to blonde television and Mal Turn up the 'Joh' Bull feeding the chooks

(Above: and more Wilcox here).

Indeed, indeed, but the pond knew that after yesterday's high would come the downer, and unfortunately the bummer dude downer doesn't come with pouting lips and fishnet stockings and high heels and lavish lunches in London ...

Nobody told the pond there'd be days like those it enjoyed yesterday ... Moorice trying out for a role as a neighbour in Here come the Habibs and doing a splendid audition, the Caterists in top bien pensant form, and the tax-dodging reptiles explaining the suffering of taxed workers ...

So today comes the sackcloth and ashes, the existential sense of ennui, the deja vu of being caught in a time loop and all that's playing is reptile Sonny and lizard Cher...

Oh sure, there are distractions.

The cat fight that's been going on for days shows no signs of abating because of its click baiting, trolling potential, with the latest Fairfax outing Armytage 'failed to land a job at ABC', which reports the bubble-headed booby Richard Glover has joined the fray (naturally with forced video, which is what it's really all about).

By sheerest chance, the pond saw the original incident, which was execrable, excruciating television, and which saw the pond trapped in a waiting room with no avenue of escape. There was probably a class action for the enforced victims of the televisual assault ...

The pond was subsequently astonished at Media Watch's feeble attempt to defend the indefensible, on the basis that blonde television will always be blonde television, so get used to it ...

That led to an immortal line ..

...Sunrise not only got its audience to focus on refugees for three minutes—not bad for breakfast TV—it helped sell tickets to the lunch.

With a concluding "tough luck" for having to endure "somewhat embarrassing style", "bad TV", "inane, certainly, cringe worthy, maybe", with the coda "but hardly a first for morning TV."

Yes if you lie down with blondes, you must expect to get up blonde.

The pond subsequently writhed its way through subsequent blonde attempts to defend blonde television, but alas the pond is of a different hair colouring, and so has simply resorted to its natural defensive stance, which is to never ever watch morning commercial television ... and Media Watch is now back on its 'be cautious about watching' list ...

If the only response to shitty blonde television is "tough luck", and go on the ABC, then maybe it's time to abandon all free to air television ... though on second thoughts that PBS app leads to content that's beyond public broadcasting caricature ...

As for other forms of television, the pond did its best to make it through a few minutes watching this man talk, but needn't have bothered because naturally he turned up in the lizard Oz today ...

If this is the young talent offering renewal to the government and the country, then we're all fucked, and much more deeply than even the pond suspected ...

As for the commentariat, the pond had the unnerving sense of being trapped on a hamster exercise wheel ...

There were the reptiles, still yammering on about taxation and spending ...

But the pond has joked so many times about the reptiles dodging tax and banking taxpayer money that it simply didn't have the heart to do it again ...

And then there was the barking mad Devine barking away yet again about Morrison ...

The pond began to wonder what was the surer sign of clinical insanity ... the Devine's obsessional behaviour, which has surely reached the clinical stage, or the pond paying attention to it, which has surely reached the clinical stage ...

And then there were the familiar EXCLUSIVES ...

This from the very same reptiles who only the day before had excoriated Triggs and celebrated Freedom Boy bringing integrity to the AHRC.

Sure, it was head-spinning stuff, but the pond's head had started spinning yesterday, and it was only inertia that kept it revolving (an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced reptile force).

Then there were other overly familiar sights ...

Ah, the old Oreo's splendid notion that if you happen to think the Netanyahu government is possibly the worst thing ever to happen to Israel and the middle east region, by definition you must be anti-Semitic ...

And there's the obsessed dog botherer at it again, like a Devine on heat. Wasn't he supposed to write about the ABC on Mondays, yet here he is again and it's Wednesday ... as if somehow this might help us all forget that he was the lickspittle lackey who was given access to Nauru while all around him in the media game were and continue to be denied ...

If it weren't for Godwin's Law, the pond would call him the Lord Haw-Haw of the gulags ...

Was there any upside? Well the pond did appreciate the Terrorists call for 18C to be deployed ...

Indeed, indeed, but no they didn't ...

Oh sure they quoted Craig Laundy decrying hate speech, but it seems we're all libertarians here, so it's hate away time ...

But then came what for the pond was the killer blow ...

You see, Malware has quickly developed what might be called an expect Joh Bjelke-Petersen capacity for feeding the chooks.

Everybody seized on the distraction - there was Malcolm and Barnaby on a Thelma and Louise road trip but are they heading for the cliff? (with forced video because that's what it's really all about).

Naturally the local Huff, in its desperate desire for some attention, any kind of attention, wrote a huff puff piece featuring social media in Malcolm Turnbull Says He And Barnaby Joyce Are On A 'Thelma And Louise' Roadtrip ...

And naturally these days social media also got a run in the west in PM's road show sidetracked by Thelma and Louise quip ...

By the end of it all, the pond realised it had lived through another blonde media moment.

It had not the foggiest clue why Malware and Barners had descended on Rockhampton. Were they worried that Depp's doggies had slipped through the net again? Why did Barners invite him to stay? Or was Depp on a potent brew?

In the end, the pond had to resort to Rocky's Morning Bulletin to read Barnaby and Malcolm road trip hits Rocky, only to be caught short by this innovative, agile opening ...

The Central Queensland community should be excited, according to Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. 
And perhaps he was as he and Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce took a bird's eye view of proposed Eden Bann and Rookwood weir sites yesterday with Federal Member for Capricornia Michelle Landry pushing regional water infrastructure projects. 
Ms Landry said she would brief Mr Turnbull on Rookwood and Eden Bann being priorities "over other proposed water projects". Mr Turnbull said water was "the source of life" and "the source of prosperity and of further diversification of Australia's economy". 
"Believe me, right here, in Central Queensland, in Northern Australia, on the Tropic of Capricorn you are living in the most exciting party of Australia because you're right here in a position poised for extraordinary growth," Mr Turnbull said. 
"We have never seen change so rapid or as destructive as we have in the last generation."

Oh faaaawwwwk, as the crows and Graham Kennedy might say ...

So that's why the pond had to endure yet another day of Optus broadband and be excited about it ... because rapid, destructive change, including the destruction of broadband, is an extraordinarily exciting time ...

As banal observation heaped on banal observation ... and there was Malware talk of looking at infrastructure in "a holistic way."

And so the pond had yet another blonde moment ...

Now the pond can understand why its favourite cartoonists should seize on all this, just as Bill used the occasion to deliver one of his famous zingers ...

Each day a new cartoon, a new zinger ... it must be hard ...

But the pond knows it's been had, knows this was one of those unendurable bad hair days which will pass, as we turn hopefully towards the lizards of Oz and demand they live up to their promise of producing each day at least one astonishingly bizarre, weird member of the commentariat pontificating and prattling their way towards sublime irrelevance ...

Meanwhile, we must dutifully return to the Joh corn we chooks dutifully ate ... (and more Rowe here and more Pope here).

The only upside? At least Pope went for a couple of good movies ...

And if you've missed Midnight Run, perhaps you've been watching too much blonde television ...