Monday, March 25, 2019

In which the pond culls the reptile herd and ends up with the Major and the Oreo ...

Mondays are the toughest days for devoted reptile watchers … look at this line-up:


And that's not to forget Bella, out and about in another spot in the digital edition …


Inevitably there has to be a culling of the herd to keep it manageable. It's usually the Caterist, but then anyone blathering about "moral and intellectual landslide" just has to be cut. And what of Dame Slap?


Is she just about ready to start blathering about gender, role models for women and men, while praising Gladys for avoiding same? Sure, on its high ranking in the stupidity stakes, it probably deserves attention, but the Darwin awards insist there must be losers …

Besides, there's important work to be done, the ritual washing of the paws, and nothing to do with me, and look over there …


And who better to do this tricky job than the Major, a cunning bird?



Indeed, indeed, it's but better to have the moderated hate, fear and loathing, and dog whistling, done by a professional team like the lizards of OZ ... reliable experts like the Bolter and the rest of the Sky night-time mobsters, piling in and piling on … but let's be fair, Facebook and Google routinely fail in their duty. 

How else to explain this sort of muck turning up on the Facebook platform?


Rowan Dean: There is no difference between radical and moderate Islam … there is just Islam, full stop.

Oops, that first washing of the paws didn't seem to work, a little more diligent scrubbing might be required …


Yes, that work by Maley, already noted by the pond, was excellent stuff, a splendid washing of the paws … nothing to do with us, look over there ...



But what's this? No, it's not a hot link, the pond doesn't routinely link to hate speech ...


Rowan Dean: those bloody Islamics have no interest in peacefully integrating into Australian society? … Remember, there's no such thing as a moderate Islamic ...

Oh dear, how does Facebook allow that sort of vile hate-mongering on to its platform? Perhaps a little more scrubbing would come in handy?


Oh fucketty fuck, the Major goes off the deep end yet again, with more blather about critical literacy theory (did he mean "literary"? Who knows, who cares?) and identity politics …

Odd, given that the latest terrorist was clearly heavily into the reptiles' form of identity politics, and might have made a splendid student at Ramsay, perhaps doing a course on the medieval crusades …

Never mind, there's just one washing of the paws to go …


No, not that ritual cleansing, this Major Mitchell cleansing. What a wily old literacy bird he is (why would anyone want to be literate?) …


Yes, the two siderisms are out in force today, and butter wouldn't melt in the mouth of this wily centrist bird … but ...

Rowan Dean: There is no difference between radical and moderate Islam … there is just Islam, full stop.

And so to the next treat, but the pond just wanted to reassure readers that this is safe …


Of course there's still more washing of the paws to be done, and if the Major is a top-notch expert, can the Oreo be far behind?


Indeed, indeed. Of course the Oreo would never advocate fighting, which is why the pond took a step back in time …


Oh how they loved her for it … how they loved her wisdom as a cultural warrior ...



Yes, the Oreo is an expert on "the Islamic problem".

Sadly the pond can't dally in the past for too long, but this closing gobbet shows the noble Oreo's mind at work, her fighting spirit in full flight ...


It is our turn to fight for its future!!

Yes, it's a fight, and long ago in Tamworth the pond learned never to bring a knife to a fight when you could bring a gun …

Oops, perhaps another washing of the paws?


And so it's back to the present …


Yes, it's absolutely nothing to do with suggesting that Western Civilisation has a fight on its hands, as honourable and proud as the Anzac tradition … though it seems that the Oreo thinks the New Zealand terrorist, a bit like Gallipoli, lacked a coherent, organised and sophisticated strategy. Oh there's much work left to be done by the Ramsay centre … if we're going to successfully fight for our future ...

What a tragedy that New Zealand lacked laws preventing incitement to violence … after all, the Oreo only intended It is our turn to fight for its future!! to mean a friendly food fight using the right sort of food …


And if it's not a food fight, perhaps it's just a dog whistle. We all know how it works, the dog whistle ...


Say what, it's not attracting the crowds, and even worse, the pond watched The Insiders on the weekend?

Well more of that after this final gobbet ...


Yes, let us be clear. It is our turn to fight for its future and any invocation of the noble Anzac tradition of killing Johnny Turk was a dog whistle from long ago … and having a joke and a good laugh is just what Facebook needs, though why the platform allows this sort of nonsense to turn up is beyond the pond …



Perhaps the Major was right after all. But if we're going to crack down on Facebook, shouldn't the after dark Sky mobsters be the first to be cleansed? There'd be a royal washing of the paws ...

And that brings the pond back to the state election … and a tweet the pond foolishly didn't run when it was first emailed by a reader …


The pond thought it lacked a punchline, and then it watched Talking Pictures, and the punchline was complete, with talk of billionaires and golf …



Imitating a billionaire grifter golfer, and yet with remarkable Photoshop incompetence … and there were suckers who voted for him …

So much Sky News fucking up Facebook, and so much for Twitter and the NSW election, and so much for so many stupid people, leaving the pond with so little time ...


3 comments:

  1. Far be it from me to second-guess the pond's judgement of a good gobbet, but I would have like to have seen Bella on the subject of government-funded ingratitude -v- that government-funded ingrate The Caterist.

    Good to see the work experience kid who photoshopped Scott Morrison's shoes has gone on to bigger and better things, but she/he has made Latham look like some sort of weird bobble head...oh, hang on, nature played its part there...

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  2. NickaBella anybody ?

    Probably would have been a frightful disappointment, FD; given the two reptiles involved. I somehow don't think an exposition from somebody whose IQ is on the low side of room temperature such as Cater would really have much to convey. Nor Bella have anything more noteworthy.

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  3. Do the Murdocracy have any more distortions of history saying how wonderful our brave soldiers at Gallipoli but she doesn't say what a hopeless campaign it was and how England was culpable in the mass slaughter of these brave ANZACs and she might also while at it spell out the reason for conflict in the first place.

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