Start by cleaning up the mess that Josh and the Liberal party made ...
Oh it was just too rich, and on and on it went, and the pond has to do a nod to The Insiders for suggesting how funny it might be ...
Not being a Twitter person, the pond tends to miss out on people wanting to clean up a mess, apparently a huge mess started by the very messy and very naughty Josh, and widely endorsed by thoroughly messy industry ...
The pond could have stopped there, and just left further browsing to anyone who wanted to spend time with a top-notch twit twittering away here …
But dammit, the pond doesn't usually do it, yet it has to be said that the Huw Parkinson they ran - catch it here until it turns up on YouTube some day - featured the pond's favourite animated film, and all the loveable characters, even the very naughty boy next door that posed a threat to all the toys …
And best of all, there was Buzz and the au pair whisperer, "I do not know these people, I just worked with them," Mr Potato Head himself …
For once the pond felt pleased to be visiting their ABC.
But then the reptiles drew attention to another very messy Josh mess …
And the pond suddenly knew it had to confront a Monday crisis, because the reptiles had pulled a devious trick, about as low a blow as they could manage.
Not only was there a mess and a crisis, and Angus was busy, the wretches had shifted the quarry-whispering Caterist to a Monday, right up against the Oreo …
Two huge treats on the one day …
What to do, oh what to do? Encourage people to start the week trying to digest not just one burger of outrage, but a giant-sized whopper combo?
In the end, the pond decided to split the meal, and go with whichever had been anointed true reptile cult status … and the Caterist won, because lo, what was there at the head of his piece than the Lobbecke of the day, and it seemed to feature a Marxist and a charging capitalist bull, and all was right and so and just and true and well in the world ...
It's true, it's all true, and the way the government shares the wealth around means that socialism and Marxism are now truly redundant …
Long may highly targeted transfer systems continue to reduce inequality, long may the quarry-whisperer receive his share of Australia's progressive tax, thanks to the valiant Department of Finance bureaucrats doing the right thing with their grants in aid.
Oh if only others had the same blessings as the Caterist, they would see, they would surely see...
Dear sweet long absent lord, what wretch could the Caterist be talking about?
Please, let's be fair. Whatever might be said about the reality TV show known as the Donald, it could hardly be called bland, and it's been a hugely successful tweak on old formats and formulae … it might be fucking the United States and the planet, but just think of the ratings …
And now speaking of its deeply narcissistic consumerist tendencies, and its love of celebrity quarry whisperers - always willing to star in a defamation trial - the pond must sadly report that it has reached the last gobbet in its feast of Caterist "I'm alright Jack and Jill, so screw you" blather ...
Indeed, indeed, and it has to be said that the Caterist is at home and comfortable with bureaucracy and the technicalities of filling out forms, and no doubt that helps keep a good-quality snag or chop on the barbie …
Please no more talk of socialism or Marxism or sharing things around, just join the Caterist in applying to the Department of Finance and all will be well in this fair land, because these days what's the point of following the Ming maxim that the rich are big enough to look after themselves, when the idle well-to-do, when not quarry whispering, are blathering away in the lizard Oz and scoring themselves some of that yearly much loved cash in the paw …
There's a guaranteed way to provide for your future. Just stick out your paw, and the socialists in Canberra will ensure it's filled, provided you say all the right things about the Liberal party for reptile la la land ...
And now, as the week's begun with quite a set of movie references, why not double down with a Rowe, handily throwing in a Terminator reference, and with more Rowe always on hand here …
Oh yes, we've all been there before, but just look at the hood ornament on the Rowe … that's the way to improve any sequel with a nicely Caterist touch...
Take one reasonably sized saucepan. Line the bottom with good quality olive oil. Take a reasonable amount of popcorn and scatter on the base of the pan. Hold saucepan over a good heat, moving the contents around gently, and keeping the lid on! It'll take a little time, but then the popping will begin. Keep the saucepan moving! As the popping dies away, quickly move off the heat, and unload the popped corn into a bowl. Apply icing sugar, or salt and butter as desired, and then settle back for a new week of reptile cinema …but make sure you head to the bank first with the Caterist so you can afford to buy the corn ...
Caterist joy!!
ReplyDeleteMarx would indeed be tugging at the beard seeing 27 years of growth (for some) and flat-lining wages all across the West (for vast majority). He might even be tempted to day "Dudes, this outcome was kind of self-evident, no?".
Or perhaps he'd say "Company tax cuts should solve your distribution problem. It never fails."
Oh Caterist, there may well be tears at getting the term "Marxism" in your digital header on Oriel's day.
But maybe she won't care, because she's discovered, just in the lick of time, whatabboutism.
Brilliant, another US import as shitful as Trumpism.
"27 years of growth" ? Well yes, that is 27 years of not actually having two successive quarters of GDP falling. But roughly speaking, GDP is proportional to population, at least in smaller nations such as Australia.
DeleteThe "better measure", as we've all been assured, is real GDP per capita which in the past 27 years has been a bit up and down, so let's see what the Murdoch press has to say about it:
"In fact, GDP is not even the best measure of individual welfare. If you want to adjust for inflation and look at people’s disposable income, things are even worse.
This graph probably makes a lot more sense to a lot of people — it says times have not been easy recently, despite what the raw GDP numbers say."
Oh gosh, more Catter 'factoids'.
See it here:
https://www.news.com.au/finance/economy/australian-economy/the-population-booms-hidden-secret/news-story/d2a892dcea0ab8e9967455880502f4c1
And remember that, as a mean not a median, then when the rich get richer, the poor get poorer, but the "average" stays much the same. All of which is way too recondite for our Nick.
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteAccording to Wikipedia;
“Research comprises "creative and systematic work” undertaken to increase the stock of knowledge, including knowledge of humans, culture and society, and the use of this stock of knowledge to devise new applications.”
Does any activity like this occur at the Menzies Research Centre?
DW
Of course it is, DW. The Menzies Research Centre is always passionately searching for more and better ways to lie to us, to be more "persuasive", to suck down the IPA propaganda without intellectually vomiting.
DeleteDo you reckon they're succeeding ?
When does the Caterist enjoy the fruits of his hydrology research? Must be soon.
ReplyDeleteAll this waffle about the dangers of socialism has more to do with the failures of the neoliberal agenda, especially as it has been used as a fig leaf to cover the excesses of the corporate sector. Quick, look over there, is that Karl Marx?
Similarly, the union bashing is a distraction from the failings of our business lords and masters. How would the average punter see union rorts in comparison to the systematic screwing over they have received by the banks and the various privatized utilities?
Cater telling us it's all for the best is a case of pissing on your head and telling you its raining.
Two books which describe the inherently destructive nature of global capitalism, which is now in its potentially terminal condition.
ReplyDeleteSilent Theft the Private Plunder of Our Common Wealth by David Bollier
Stop Thief The Commons Enclosures & Resistance by Peter Linebaugh
Goosebumps Cater: "Empirical evidence ... is as good as useless at destroying the dogma."
ReplyDeleteSee, deep down in their abysmal subconsciousness, the reptiles know perfectly well what they're doing: "Evidence is lies, truth is not truth, all facts (except my facts) are fake, my factoids are "true", the Left is double-plus ungood".
BTW, Nick, his name is Piketty - just one 'k', mate. Or would you prefer that we spell your name Catter ?
PS: we're all looking forward to seeing how much of our precious wealth we have gifted you for 2018.