Saturday, July 14, 2018

Doing the Donald with nattering "Ned" and the bromancer ...


Nattering "Ned" blessed with cult Lobbecke status, and doing the Donald for the umpteenth time?

How could the pond resist? And at the same time the bromancer was also doing the Donald? 

Why, this called for a marathon d├ęgustation, or since it sounds like a dance…


Oh dear Horace, does it have to be that sort of dance?

Okay, the pond better a couple of things clear from the very beginning. 

The biggest enabler of Donald Trump has been Fox News, and chairman Rupert owns Fox News and the lizard Oz. 

Anyone who works for the chairman is in a way enabling his desire to be in constant communion with the Donald and power … so asking the reptiles to analyse and solve the problem is a bit like asking physicians to heal themselves. And anyone who pays for reptile opinions is actually just making matters worse ...

They're part of the problem, and they can never mention the obvious solution ...


Yep, it's another typical outing from the hand-wringing "Ned", and next he'll be blathering about how Australians need to understand things, because there is no immunity from the Donald.

But we already know this, because there's no immunity from chairman Rupert ...


While "Ned" blathers about the incredible tangerine hulk, one thing is always conspicuous by its absence. And it's not just the GOP enablers, it's the sight of chairman Rupert's forelock tugging slum absentee landlord sycophants doing the Donald dance …


And until someone at the lizard Oz writes a column about the damage that's been and is being, and will be done to the United States and the world by chairman Rupert's pretties, flying in support of the Donald, it's just a waste of space ...


Around this point, the pond began to nod off. Deep into "Ned", and the bromancer not yet even on the horizon, the time felt right for an optimistic cartoon …


The Donald is unreachable?

All you need to do is get yourself on Fox and Friends, and you'll have the Donald as a devoted viewer ...


Why is this so comical for the pond? Because sundry reptiles, not just at Fox, cheered the Donald on ...


Sorry, the pond should have stuck to cartoons … why not a Rowe, with more Rowe here


By golly, he can hold his head high in the international cartooning stakes ...


We need to start thinking?

Actually might the pond make a humble suggestion? 

We need to start boycotting News Corp and all its products, as a reward for chairman Rupert's part in not just installing the Donald, but continuing to sustain him …

Oh sure, Vlad the impaler must take a large amount of the credit, along with Americans themselves, but Fox News surely was a player …

And now for those not already exhausted, it's on to the bromancer ...


The pond knew the only way through the bromancer was by way of a cartoon-led recovery …


Here's the thing about the bromancer.

Deep down, which is to say on the surface, because the bromancer shares the Donald's tendency towards incoherent and inconsistency, the bromancer actually quite likes the Donald … 

The bromancer likes the disruption, he enjoys the easy column inches the Donald helps generate ...


Yes, that line "Trump as President is doing a great deal of good" is the giveaway. 

No mealy amount of pretend balancing of the scales with "a good deal of bad" can't hide the reality that "great" v. "good" tips the bromancer balance in favour of the Donald …

Almost every line the bromancer scribbles has this sort of balancing act going down, with the bromancer's thumb always on the scale in favour of the Donald …

If the Godwin's Law swear jar wasn't such a constant threat to the pond, one might be able to fantasise about the bromancer working for a German newspaper in the early 1930s and scribbling …"Herr Hitler as Chancellor is doing a great deal of good and a good deal of bad", though if he were wise he'd have left out the second half of the sentence … in much the same way, it seems, that there's nary a cross word said in the emperor's new court, where an ill-advised thought or suggestion can see advisors whisked off to the corn field lickety-split …


Phew the pond had to run that one to avoid Godwin's Law swear jar …


Never mind, it was worth it, especially as amongst the financiers for that musical was News Corp … 


And now, here's why the pond loves to read the bromancer …



… and it's not just a chance to indulge in a cartoon fest ...


There, another classic line: "...the substance of what Trump is saying is right, though a rather huge amount of the detail is wrong," up there with "there is a lot of truth in what Trump is saying here about Germany", followed by idle chatter about a mere detail …90% versus 22%.

The pond would like to offer the bromancer 22% in the dollar for everything he scribbles and have it dismissed as a detail.

Still, the line begs for another swear jar payment: "The substance of what Herr Hitler is saying is right, though a rather huge amount of the detail might lead to 1945."

That's what happens when you really have to do your best to put some sort of spin on a constantly lying, bullying, dissembling pig ignorant reality TV show populist destined to make Fox News great again …

Now watch as the bromancer will helpfully explain what the Donald really meant, so that he might thoughtfully invoke "legitimate measures", and bemoan rich but indolent Europeans ...


Watching the bromancer do his best to scribble some sort of redemptive analysis - only to trip over the rocks of reality every so often - is splendid sport, and the pond can't understand why punters waste their time on boofhead pursuits such as thugby league, when it's possible to watch a boofhead doing his best to celebrate another boofhead … and doing the Donald's work, rabbiting on about Germany and the rest …as if to the manor born ...


How soon before the Kenyan socialist who ruined America enters the narrative?


Yes it was another triumph for the Donald …

 

Well there's only so many jokes about Morrissey the pond can stand and only so many cartoons to hand …


And on Monday, we can do it all over again ...


Far tougher sanctions on Russia?

Sadly the Politifact rebuttal is now a little out of date, but the pond has a ha'penny to a pound that suggests the Ruskis are going to do over the mid-term American elections in fine style … because (a) the Donald won't admit there's a problem and (b) neither the Donald or the GOP are doing much preparation, perhaps on the basis that a little Russian assistance might not go astray ...



And now for the final clue that the bromancer loves to jump the shark, nuke the Korean fridge, and howl at the moon ...


There, did you spot it? 

After all the talk of chaos, incoherence and inconsistency, the bromancer comes up with blather about "oddly self-balancing features" and "an automatic stabiliser", and that means treating the Donald like a rhetorical clown in a circus, or perhaps a reality TV show happy to fuck up and fuck over the planet …except of course that it's difficult to interpret what the said clown or reality TV show host might be saying or doing ...

And so here we are, with the pond at the end of its dance, and remembering that in kinder times, they shot horses, and all this exhaustion from a marathon folly is thanks in no small part to chairman Rupert and his minions …

Please, Rowe, roll out the tie ...





1 comment:

  1. "There, another classic line: "...the substance of what Trump is saying is right, though a rather huge amount of the detail is wrong,"."

    Hmm, I've always thought that the detail is the substance .. but anyway: in short, the reason the Bromancer bromances the Donald is that they are just so much alike: neither actually understands a word of his own "transactional dialogue". In short, on the one hand Mr DTs is A, but on the other hand he is simultaneously not-A. And as any Aristotelian would tell you (were s/he ever given the chance) A and Not-A is zero !

    So we'll have to go for non-Aristotelian logic: the World of Null-A (as A E van Vogt would have it). In which it might be said that:
    Donald (and Greg) are men living in an apparent utopia where those with superior understanding and mental control rule the rest of humanity, and they want to be tested by the Giant Machine that determines such superiority. However, they find that their memories are false.

    Oh dear. Maybe they should have opted for 'The Weapon Shops of Isher' with its fine motto: "The right to buy weapons is the right to be free". I'm sure that DT would agree with that - provided that they are American weapons and you pay at least 2% of your nation's GDP to buy them.

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