Friday, April 22, 2016

Day 32, and the pond is ripe for a good beheading, thanks to the Sophists in our midst ...

The pond is reminded of that grand old saying, sometimes sourced to Clemenceau, that generals always fight the last war - it was particularly relevant to the opening thrusts of the second world war - and after the great depression, it became common to observe that economists always fight the last depression.

So the pond claims no great insight or originality in noting that stupid Fairfaxian journalists always fight the last election - or perhaps many elections lost long ago in the darkness of time - and commends to Mark Kenny this research on early examples of the observation.

No, phrasing something as a question doesn't avoid the stupidity inherent in the thought bubble ... 

But this is day 32 of the longest campaign in recorded history, or so some say, and the pond feels like a TGIF kicking up of the heels and what better way than to record the endless depravity of the Islamic religion and its emphasis on brutal beheadings, with the Qur'an clearly the source of all the outrageous behaviour of Daesh ...

Apparently the latest manifestation of this sort of bizarre, pious, religion-based phenomenon has surface in Queensland ...

Connect's Upper Primary C1 teaching resource is available from Christian Education Publications (CEP) on line, which recommends the C1 cycle for use in 2016. 
For the David and Goliath role play, the teacher sets up the classroom as a battlefield, selects students to act out the parts and provides a script. 
The teacher narrates the background of the story, as Goliath of the Philistines mocks and curses David by his gods. "
Then Goliath moved towards David, but David ran at him, grabbed a stone from his bag, and slung it at him. It hit Goliath right in the forehead. And Goliath fell on his face on the ground. 
Ask David and Goliath to act out the scene. Then David took Goliath's sword, killed him and cut off his head. Ask David to act it out...
You may need to verbally remind your students to be sensible. There are sure to be a few laughs as your student act out the scene, to keep students focused on the narrative. 
When the Philistines saw that their champion was dead, they ran away. But the Israelites chased them and defeated them. 
Ask the Philistines to head away and the Israelites to 'chase' them." 
The moral of the story is that "through Jesus, David's descendant, God would save his people forever from their greatest enemies - sin, death and Satan". 
With Jesus on your side you can vanquish even the most frightening enemies. 
Many would question the relevance of such a message today, and whether 10-year-old children benefit from acting out scenes of horrifying violence. 
Connect's syllabus uses a fundamentalist "sin and salvation" theme, which was developed by the evangelical Sydney Anglicans.

Oh fuck, sorry, the pond got it all wrong, it wasn't Daesh, it was the angry Sydney Anglicans doing their fundamentalist thing (and more of the thing at the Brisbane Times here).

The pond remembers well the Doré illustration from its religion indoctrination days ...

But hey, the pond can do high art just like the Bolter. Here's a Caravaggio for your pleasure ...

Oh that's classy, and tasteful and heroic, and right down the angry Sydney Anglican alley (or is that the Taj Mahal they're building at North King?)

And the next time the Bolter tells you Christianity is a peaceful religion - as the deluded one frequently does - offer to behead him in the name of Jaysus ... oh and offer him a complimentary woman, courtesy the angry Sydney Anglicans ...

Meanwhile, the pond has studiously refused to mention certain matters. 

Even reflexively mentioning that the pond hadn't mentioned certain matters would inevitably lead to a discussion of the pitiful behaviour of commercial television, and, as the pond never watches this wasteland, better to move on to matters of high moment ...

Yes, it's the spectre back again ... fighting feminist battling for the rights of women in every corner of the land ...

Now Soph didn't get much positive spin from the good old Benalla Times' readership ... here's a few from the top of the page ...

And so on. But our Soph - the pond can only type out the long form Sophist so many times - is adept at drawing attention to herself, and naturally the reptiles of Oz were on hand to provide a sympathetic and very long winded ear ...

Oh she didn't say that, did she? 

She wouldn't be that dumb, would she? Pointing out the punitive pork barreling, back scratching, public trough, spoils of office, payola, patronage ways of conservative governments?

We all know it goes on, and on both sides of the aisle, but would anybody would be so nakedly obvious and punishing about it?


Eeek, she did, she did. 

This led to an emergency, rush job for the reptiles, always on hand when they're needed, phrasing it the right way.

The voters were deservedly punished for choosing the wrong person! There, that'll learn 'em ...

Yep, it's that naked, it's that blatant.

Still, it helps explain the latest reptile EXCLUSIVE that littered the front page of today's lizard paper:

Ah, the reptiles ... always standing by to help get a fiscally responsible government get re-elected ... especially when it's remembered that former chairman Tony - he's still here to help - loved to spend to buy his way out of trouble, and perhaps to buy Soph her seat ...

Back to Soph, and a lot being said to no great effect or meaning ... but no doubt the reptiles will discover it's all the fault of the ABC, or at least someone who once worked for the ABC. Once you're tarred with that cardigan brush, you're ruined forever ...

Gutted? Melodrama attention-seeking queen moi?

The woman who stood in front of ditch the witch, Bob Brown's bitch signs a fierce fighter for women?

The pond would be gutted by the nonsense if it wasn't so highly mused.

And how, the pond has to muse, as it got to the end of the gobbet, is that a tough question? 

Surely the answer's obvious. When that useless pretender Malcolm is returned with a slimmer majority, it'll be time for Tony and Peta and the old team - Soph will be there at the first photo opportunity - to get back into the saddle and make this country great again ... by pork-barreling Indi ...

Or did the cock crow thrice as it's wont to do after a good beheading?

Yes, that's the real question.

Do they want to vote in Soph.

Or do they want to live and die as paupers, stripped of any money by a vengeful government? Vote the right way or hit the A300 highway ...

Their choice, or perhaps, if you think of other examples, Sophie's choice ...

Ah democracy, democracy, what a great boondoggling institution it is ... and so many fine representatives ... and now there's just time for a Rowe cartoon and more Rowe here ...


  1. Betteridge's law of headlines is an adage that states: "Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no." (Wikipedia)

    1. What an excellent law Joe. Thanks for drawing it to the attention of the pond. We will now use it routinely ...

  2. Morrison is in Indi this morning campaigning for? You guessed it - Sophisticated Sophie.

  3. The Christian Education Publications (CEP) brand is owned by the Angry Anglicans' Youthworks. Youthworks got the state school gig going in NSW:
    "Perhaps Alan and the Board’s greatest achievement was to enshrine SRE in the 1990 NSW Education Act. Opposition to SRE began to grow in the 1960s, building through the 1970s and 80s, with SRE being abolished in several states and many churches choosing to abandon it. In NSW, the Board worked alongside other denominations and religious groups, delivering to the government a report that provided the groundwork on which the provision of SRE was eventually incorporated into NSW legislation."

    let's get "secular" back in the Qld Education Act

    "In 1910 Queenslanders voted in a state referendum for the reintroduction of religious instruction by clergy in state schools and the reading of passages from the Bible by classroom teachers. These activities had not been allowed in Queensland schools since 1875." -

    1. Let's get back", oh yeah, back to the future Queensland. Yesterday Qld Labor has just changed things back to Labor's pre-Joh's pre-Fitzgerald compulsory preferential voting system.


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