But the pond's beat is the herpetarium and anything that happens to the reptiles within must be faithfully reported, be it cute or ugly.
Far, far, way way too much useless information for the brain to process.
But wait, there's more ...
Cue an entirely useless photograph of Catriona Rowntree.
In a further bizarre twist, the entire story was whipped up by one Samantha Maiden ...
Is this what it was like at the end of the Roman empire? Is this further proof of the disturbances signifying the arrival of the end times, as the prophets predicted?
Or is this simply another cute example of the reptiles devouring their own?