Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Day 23, and as delusional reptiles feud, it's time to burn the delusional Devine witch ...

The pond had to drop everything.

It was a lacerating, nay an eviscerating cry, a howl of pain, of enormous suffering.

Not the "W" words per se, in themselves, with their hint of ding dong, but perhaps more the dreaded "L" word...

Now at first blush there might be a few cynics who wonder why anyone should give a toss.

After all, it's not as if the "W" word hasn't been tossed around before by the haters ...

Frankly the only response to self-pity is a song ...

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
On your way to a Tony Abbott dinner party
Threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People call say 'beware witch, you're bound to fall'
You thought they were all kidding you
You used to laugh about
Every delusional that was hanging out
Now you have to shout even louder
Now you have to act even prouder
As you're out scrounging your next meal and favourable tweet
How does it feel, how does it feel?
To be in Malware's home,
Like a witch with a copper connection
As useful as a rolling stone?

Or some such thing. Being the Devine, the dear thing doubled down in her usual way ... because it wasn't the "W" thing, it was the "L" thing ...

Yes, the argument's clear enough.

The Delcons are delusional, but when it comes to sundry policies, I'm truly delusional ... richly, ripely delusional in a way that can only be called a barking mad, right wing warrior fruity way ... which is why I plumped for Malware ...

Put it another way.

You call Tony Abbott delusional? That's not delusional, this is delusional ...

And then came an image that seared the pond's soul ...

Oh it's Miranda d'Arc, and hasn't the photoshopping been kind to her ...

And so to the rest of the plaintive cry ...

Malware, Cory approved! When baking delusional dishes, always use Cory-approved bakeware ...

You see, the delusionals have backed the wrong soft-shelled wetback liberal lefty, whereas the Devine and Cory have maintained their fundamentalist hardcore right wing principles.

Strangely the Divine readership was up in arms at the logic.

You see, one of the problems with the Terrorists cultivating a barking mad readership is that they're inclined to bark, howl, whine and pant ...

And the leaders of the Delcon tribe called for bowls of water, so that they might wash their hands of the matter and maintain some kind ostensible friendship with the addle-brained witch.

Little Timmeh took time out from his ongoing domestic, unfurled in the Graudian in News Corp journalists reject domestic violence views of Daily Telegraph's Tim Blair ...

“The national News Corp house committee was disappointed to read Daily Telegraph opinion writer Tim Blair’s piece on family violence, published in the early hours of Monday morning,” a letter to News Corp’s head of employee relations Andrew Bioccaa said. 
“Blair’s misguided attempt at humour undermined the great work News Corp has been doing to combat family violence through campaigning journalism across the group. 
“We point out that family violence leave is part of News Corp staff’s log of claims in the most recent negotiating round, which was recently endorsed by members across the country.” 
Endorsed by the national house committee for News Corp journalists who are members of the Media Entertainment and Arts Alliance, the letter calls on management to reject Blair’s comments and “recommit to campaigning against the scourge of family violence”.

Little Timmie valiantly left off his satirical thrusts at Amanda Meade - there's nothing like bashing a woman, preferably a woman working at the ABC or the traitorous Graudian - to reassure the Devine of his eternal loyalty ... and her profound stupidity ...

Wrong! Because a return to Tony Abbott is what the country needs.

So many levels and bevels to this delusionalism.

Naturally little Timmie's readers piled on to the wicked witch, shouting burn her, burn her.

And the Bolter found the burning witch image irresistible too ...

Wrong, witch, wrong!

It was around this point that the pond began to realise that possibly, just possibly, and depending on the budget and the reaction to it, the delusionals might actually manage to bring down Malware's government.

Ideological, zealot scorpion and hapless frog, and the delusional Devine arguing that she's even more delusional than the delusionals, with the delusionals confused about their delusions ...

Which puts the pond in a terrible dilemma. How to deal with the triumphant, gloating Shortenistas in the extended family?

Perhaps the pond should just revert to the ancient art of bank bashing. More Glen Le Lievre twittering here, and a link to his new site.


  1. Appeasing Teh Left was the reason Abbott lost his job? Conservatives couldn't support him because of his betrayal of their values (that'd be betrayals #1-14 as delivered by St Miranda)?

    Burn her at the stake, I say! Can I light the fuse? I promise to howl and cry while I'm doing it.

    1. Being a Con - Del or otherwise - is proving a bit of a minefield at the moment, isn't it? Poor St Miranda the Devine.

      More and more when I think of Turnbull, I think of a starved Venus Fly Trap. Those conservative flies like Cory just won't take enough of his sweet, sweet bait.

    2. St Miranda might well be in "love" with Malware, but phwoaar, does she have the hots for our Tones. Specially with his shirt off!

    3. Until today, I thought I'd never feel any sympathy for The Devine. After today, I'm quite certain that I will never feel any sympathy for her.

      Though of course, from where I'm sitting, it does look like just another wingnut clickbait performance with Miranda as the eminently forgettable "more sinned against than sinning" star.

  2. Srsly, is there any national governmental problem or road-bump that has not been clearly anticipated by, and sermonised on by the fleet of News opinionators?

    If only the leaders of our country were more circumspect when taking their Devine and Dog Botherer pills each morning.


  3. Brilliant tweet...

    "Telstra and the Catholic Chuich. Both experts at excommunication."

    1. Seen below the fold at the Guardian...

      "Abbott the defrocked priest, Turnbull who speaks like Wormtongue with softly spoken malice, and now Cash the eternally greedy penny-pincher. What's in a name? A lot it seems. At least Bill is just Short."

    2. Yes, and our Billy Short'un isn't a patch on Huey Long.

  4. Wicked Witch of the Left? She rather styles herself the "Maid of Orleans", Joan of Arc, more like. A once and would be future king from pommieland is marching hereabouts. Ten pound and four was on the ticket, so fourteen is the number. He's a big bad, very bad boy. He and his army stalk the land prosecuting his claim to rightfully own it. He will not leave the field. King Malware dithers. He paces the inner sanctum. His forays into the countryside increasingly come to nothing. His army is on the defensive now, afraid, racked with doubt, they man the parapets but no longer venture out. Then unlooked for comes Devine guidance. Miranda arcs up the embattled troops of Malware with assurances of glorious victory if they but follow her lead. She has the pom's number now alright. Fourteen. Brave decisive maid of action, in any of her god sent visions had Rupe disclosed how the pommie king and his belligerent forces would finally do her in? Nevertheless the main game is Malware's, for he is a conservative's conservative. She must pass that on. She will take the heat. The mysterious permutations of the one true faith...

    1. I can only assume from the bickering amongst the herpetarium that Uncle Rupe hasn't issued instructions yet on the matter of his preference for PM.

  5. Oh it's Miranda d'Arc, and hasn't the photoshopping been kind to her...

    That's photoshopping? Wow, they are getting good.

  6. Miranda - more like Joan of Farc.

  7. Forgive the length of this, but I reckon old Hilaire is worth a run.

    Do you remember an Inn,
    Do you remember an Inn?
    And the tedding and the spreading
    Of the straw for a bedding,
    And the fleas that tease in the High Pyrenees,
    And the wine that tasted of tar?
    And the cheers and the jeers of the young muleteers
    (Under the vine of the dark veranda)?
    Do you remember an Inn, Miranda,
    Do you remember an Inn?
    And the cheers and the jeers of the young muleteers
    Who hadn't got a penny,
    And who weren't paying any,
    And the hammer at the doors and the din?
    And the hip! hop! hap!
    Of the clap
    Of the hands to the swirl and the twirl
    Of the girl gone chancing,
    Backing and advancing,
    Snapping of the clapper to the spin
    Out and in--
    And the ting, tong, tang of the guitar!
    Do you remember an Inn,
    Do you remember an Inn?

    Never more;
    Never more.
    Only the high peaks hoar;
    And Aragon a torrent at the door.
    No sound
    In the walls of the halls where falls
    The tread
    Of the feet of the dead to the ground,
    No sound:
    But the boom
    Of the far waterfall like doom.

  8. Pffft, Devine is such a drama queen. Nikki Sava got lots more insults and hate from the delcons on the horrible right wing blog I read.

    1. Yeah, kinda interesting. I still think it's just a clickbait performance, but it does occur to me that Miranda might actually be undergoing a never before experienced state.

      I reckon she's probably had plenty of abuse because she's on the web, and female but maybe she's never actually been subjected to a wingnut assault before - after all, she's a good loyal RWNJ and all.

      So maybe the all out assault from her "fans" has taken her a bit by surprise. After all, it's not something 'The Left' does, so it may all be new to her - to her personally, that is as I'm sure she's witnessed, and taken part in, assaults on others (all 'Lefties' of course) before.

  9. 'I was just catching the wave minding my own business and eventually there was this extremely attractive and very, very talented surfer on my left.'
    Miranda should get off the broom stick and onto a board.

    1. That lack of peripheral vision will get you every time UC

  10. There once was a witch named Miranda
    Who to the right-wingers would pander
    But the dillcons she riled
    And her words drove them wild
    So they set her on fire and then fanned her

    There once was a sorc’ress devine
    Who to the far right was inclined
    But she slipped from her broom
    And she fell to her doom
    As the dillcons rejoiced on cloud nine

    An enchantress cried out from the stake -
    “I loved him though ‘twas a mistake
    For he’s taken my honour
    And now I’m a goner -
    I knew that PM was a fake!”

    1. Very good Kezz. And funny.

    2. Yes, the pond needs more poems like this and the one below! Why, the country could have a verse-led recovery ...

  11. *sob* I'm not often driven to tears, DP, but this tragic spilt in the reactionary ranks reminds me of one of those popular American novels or 1980s TV miniseries in which the Civil War rips asunder some great family, with various prominent members eventually taking pot-shots at each other at Manassas or Gettysburg. Is Jane Seymour available to play Miranda in some upcoming dramatisation? Or going back even further, how about a remake of "Gone With the Wind" with Miranda as Scarlet, Tones as Rhett and Malcolm as that great wet weed Ashley?

    1. Oh no! Not Constance Towers from The Horse Soldiers?

  12. The more I hear about Miranda, the more I want to support ISIS.

    "She was the friend of slaves, sinners, artisans and the downtrodden"

    And also the name of the river that runs through Oxford, and three rivers in Australia.

  13. Hi Dorothy,

    Are Miranda and the Del-Cons any less nutty than this;




    2. The pond knows, almost for an absolutely certain fact, that the presence of an air loom in the Surry Hills bunker, seriously impairs Reptile Productivity, DW!

  14. A hack floozy warlockess fabulist
    Derided the lycra’d bicyclist
    Yet her dark secret passion
    Was to raise a reaction
    From that speedo-clad budgerigar smugglist

  15. Presumably, as the broad church stands at the Crossroads, it's a mound of baseball bats which fuels the flames, given the conspicuous absence of righteous industrial relations, and its fixation with firing at whim, from the incomprehensive listicle.

  16. Ted Cruz doesn't like dildos. That's a blow for his wife.

    1. Could it get any weirder? There's no right to stimulate one's genitals? So we're going to chop off everyone's fingers?


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