Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Day 16, and the reptiles are in an uproar, with the dangerous leftie Devine in one corner and the Bolter and Terry McCrann tag teaming in the right corner ...

The reptiles are in an uproar, fussing and feuding and fighting amongst themselves, and all the pond can do is admire the splendid spectacle ...

A few clutch at some minor blessings ...

But this day Miranda the Devine is mad as hell and she's not going to take it any more ...

Oh dear, that's not a strong start, but who might these fiends be? 

Why only yesterday the Terrorists picked up a story from Terry McCrann ...

A dud! Heading for defeat! And naturally the Bolter was standing by, ready to run the essence of the story ...

Oh the Bolter was in a fine frenzy of Malware loathing, as he is every day of the week, and the Devine was in despair ...

What an admirable way with numbers! Of course if we rely on the margin of error to balance the books, why Malware was in trouble when he was supposed to be 51-49. Throw in the margin of error, and it might well have been 49-51 ...

Or some such thing because the pond was still chortling with glee at the mortification the Devine was experiencing being labelled a "leftie." Why soon enough someone might be suggesting she be hung from the nearest lamp post.

Oh cruel, disembowelling reptiles, as the goannas claw and scratch at the soft underbelly ... no wonder the Devine piece had this despairing illustration of the hapless one being conked on the head by a Coke bottle ...

From there it was just a short step to recalibrate the numbers, confirm Malware was wildly and widely loved, and celebrate yet again his slaying of the Gillard beast, as if there were two years in the collective memory that had simply disappeared ...

Who was that masked man who once bestrode Australia as a policy- and budget-making colossus?

Not for Malware the shirt-fronting of Putin, no, he was content to shirt-front the premiers, and what a fine rout that was. Amen. More victories like that, and the Black Knight will have to look to his arms ... and legs.

Now it's around this point that the pond would usually stop. Honour served, first cage fight done and dusted, nothing more to see, move along folks ...

But it seems the pond readership is made up of tough, hardy folk, SAS warrior types willing to go the extra yard ... or even a metre ... and so the pond moved on to the reptiles of Oz, agonising about the situation ...

Now fortunately the oscillating fan was inclined to be short, and to do the numbers in a Devine way, and rely on a graph, as if he was doing the business news for the ABC's news service ... (ah the graphs, send in the graphs, there must be graphs at every time in the year) ...

Indeed, indeed, where there are graphs, there is hope ... and sssh, don't mention the irony that the oscillating fan, who used to deplore the nattering negativity of the wall-puncher, now thinks that Malware's best hope is a scare campaign.

Paul "Ned" Kelly posed an entirely different, Everest-style challenge. No ironies there, just a leather-chair, hidebound epic round of pedantry in the pompous manner.

Ned's piece was all the more piquant because the splash started off by urging that Turnbull needed discipline.

Would that the master headed his advice to the apprentice, but instead the pompous blowhard showed his usual spendthrift way with words, blathering on and on and on and on ...

... without once showing any understanding that by saying "Turnbull needs discipline", he was alleging - at great and tedious length - that he was an undisciplined incompetent.

Okay, person down, regular troops. Send in the special forces ...

Hmm, the pond is thinking of instituting a purple heart for those wounded in the mind as they struggle through the mists of rampant verbiage...

Onward, brave warriors, and never mind a little bleeding ... remember, when in doubt it's all Julia Gillard's fault, and it seems Tony Abbott wasted two inept years, seemingly incapable of slaying the Gillard mythology ... and by the way, damn you Adrian Piccoli, damn you. 

Of course the federal government has no role in education ... for at least two days ...

It's pitiful to watch senility in action. Obviously, painfully, transparently the election ahead is not just about Turnbull - it's about Paul Kelly's beliefs, agenda and policy directions. 

More generally, it's about the reptile beliefs, agenda and policy directions emanating from the Surry Hills bunker ...

Well if it's all a matter of ideology, we know where Kelly and the reptiles stand ... that'd help explain why Mark Day was so dismissive of Fairfax's story about corruption in the oil game, that'd explain why the reptiles have done their level best to downplay the scandals currently engulfing the tax havens of the world ...

But now it's time for a purple heart and a cup of tea, and tax haven memories, and more Pope here and more Rowe here as he celebrates the AFR's very own gathering of the farmers and the pigs wherein there was some talk of Hitler ... because regulators are so akin to Adolf in their thinking...


  1. So, Devine has finally been outed as a closet Leftie - a "Carmine Miranda", if you will. It's good to see, though, that she's still continuing the News circle-jerk tradition of quoting other News columnists, who will in turn quote her in their own scribblings, and so and so on. What with that and the use of extensive quotes from other sources, I'd be surprised if the average News opinion piece contains more than 25% original prose. I'm only using "original" in the loosest possible way there, of course.

  2. No ex-Londoner could resist the opportunity of making jokes about Essex. This is a true story from "Interesting Anecdotes of Real Directory Inquiries."

    An Essex girl rang and said bluntly to the operator "Cab Innit?"

    Apparently the Essex dialect has devolved into a serious of gutteral grunts very loosely based on English. I suspect 'innit' is derived from 'isn't it' being an all-purpose meaningless phrase with which to end a sentence.

    The operator did his best to understand and sent her the address of a local furniture maker. Cabinet! But she wanted a taxi. Geddit?

    1. If its Essex, it must be Armstrong and Miller time: "'Cos you like crashed your plane, isn't it?"

  3. It's taken days for this to finally percolate through the lump that calls itself my brain, but I finally understood what Mally was doing: he was playing Malcolmball* ! In which, with characteristic agile innovation, he makes up a set of rules that always make him the winner. And then gets totally peeved when nobody else wants to play. (State Income Tax most obviously, but not only that)

    Oh, that would have come to mind so much quicker a year or three ago.

    * I preferred Turnball, but it just looked like a typo.
    And if you're feeling just a tad nostalgic, check this out:

  4. Palin has outdone herself in her poetic support of Trump. (Is she secretly rooting for Abbott with all that green and gold?)

    " Seeing all the green and gold and the green and gold until I'm dead and cold paraphernalia everywhere."

    "* "This awesome awakening, the shifting and sifting and the exposing of this rabid bite for them to hang on to any kind of relevancy and to hang on to their gravy train."

    * On immigrants: "Inducing and seducing them with gift baskets ... 'Come on over the border and here's a gift basket of teddy bears and soccer balls.'"

    * "In order to work, to produce, to strive and to thrive, and to really be alive in the greatest country on earth."

    * "Trashin' our economy, shippin' out jobs, lettin' us foot the bill, palin' around with the same old politicos and insiders."

    * "And we won't retreat, we'll reload. We'll reload."

    1. Nah - she's just channelling James Joyce. After all, she can see Russia from her front window. (Joyce was a commie, wasn't he?)

      “Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home.”

      “History, Stephen said, is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.”

      “Love loves to love love.”

      “I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.”

    2. Clanging as an indicator of mental illness...

  5. From Eric Abetz
    “Reports today that Craig Thomson is refusing to pay court imposed fines and penalties further highlights the need for changes to the laws that govern union bosses. The Coalition Government introduced legislation in the first sitting week of the current Parliament to enact a policy announced in 2012 which would impose tougher penalties and higher fines on dodgy union bosses who do the wrong thing and, in effect, steal their members money. Labor and the Greens opposed this legislation at every turn.”

    No mention by Erica of the NSW Liberal party who refuses to disclose who donated the $693,000 via the controversial Free Enterprise Foundation.

    No mention by Erica of the CBA’S Life insurance arm CommInsure pressured doctor to change their assessments of customers to save money, delay payouts to terminally ill patients and refuse to honour some claims of former staff members.

    1. Err, err, but Erica, if he's refusingto pay the fine, what difference does it make how big, or small, the amount is ?,

    2. Thomson's interest bill will be snowballing at ~8% if past any due date to pay, but it maybe he's parked his ill gotten gains offshore with Malcayman's?

    3. I miss Erica, more than I miss most. We don't get very much Brandis any more, and we don't get much Pyne. It's as if the results of a Malcolm commissioned focus group has reported, "99.67% of respondents think that Chris and George are offensive, so we recommend they don't say at all anything ever again, especially George"

      I used to love me a bit of a listen to George - he's such a massive fucking pompous dickhead. Doesn't he realise? Surely someone has mentioned it to him.

      But Eric has that wonderful weird springy robot voice that is just made for radio. Plus his message is usually so, so relevant.


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