Monday, April 04, 2016

Day 14, and at last a hero steps forward to lead the Liberals and perhaps also boil some water, lots of it ...

After the Oreo had given the pond the Pat Hobby formula for fiscal reform and a path forward for the Liberal party - "boil some water, lots of it" - the pond was looking around for some light lunchtime comedy ... when the wonderful Kevin Andrews, always aware of his considerable status as a key pond humorist, stepped forward, and his world-shattering announcement ran through twitter and old media like a tsunami ...

Now if you haven't read the Pat Hobby stories, the pond commends them - you'll find them at Project Gutenberg here - and you'll also find that immortal line, which comes to Pat when he's hired for a pot-boiler gig ...

Pat's up there in the pond pantheon with Nathaniel West's Miss Lonelyhearts, though any cynic - such as Alexander Pope - is a certified way of getting a handle on the comedy stylings of Kevin Andrews. If that buffoonish clown can't produce a cynical laugh, then we're all on the way to hell in a handbasket.

Naturally the reptiles were all over it ...


Brave lad, sitting in his office, plotting and scheming on how to make his run, as befits an intellectual leader.

But let's be fair. It was Thomas O'Byrne at the Manningham Leader who scored the scoop, and won himself a kind of immortality ...

At every turn, the interview delivers the goods. A few more samples, with the proud Leader banner leading the way..

Every word is golden. 

Now the pond knows why Kev did it.

Being a little slow, and inclined to the luddite, Kev couldn't imagine a few humble words to the local rag about his leadership aspirations would race around the full to overflowing intertubes with remarkable speed and much excitement.

He thought he was just having a bit of a yarn about the joys and disappointments of bing a polly, still in search of a rewarding cracker ...

Go on, give the rag a google and a hit.

Community service of the Thomas O'Byrne kind deserves reward ...

It's on his back that the reptiles of Oz put together this short gloss ...

A kind of intellectual leadership.

Nay, a towering kind of intellect towering above the pygmies that surround this man.

And so to another bit of twittering so that Pat Hobby can call a wrap on proceedings.

The next time you see one of the reptiles explaining how it's all Julia Gillard's fault - scheming spendthrift witch that she was - riddle them this ...

Don't blame the pond, blame John Hewson ...


  1. Oh it's so good to see that the only remotely intelligent Liberal leader in the party's entire history is still being ignominiously ignored.

    Just as he was then:

  2. As we mourn Bob Ellis, an idle thought re-surfaces in respect of his origins. What's become of Creationism? Can Kevin be relied upon to give it a much-needed boost?
    Another of Bob's mentors had something to say about literature. "The readers of fiction are indulging an evil that destroys spirituality."
    Could that have been the stimulus that powered the booting of Dennis Jensen? I'm hoping to hear more, much more, from Kevin.

    1. While waiting you could always refresh yourself at the trough of enlightenment at The Drum, UC, thanks be unto the ABC:

      For many Greens supporters, environmentalism is ultimately an article of faith and belief. This is no better illustrated than in the controversy surrounding the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). It has become increasingly clear that the process of “establishing” human-caused global warming has been manipulated by a small group of people, using mutual peer processes, and claiming to speak for many more scientists who had little input and no real opportunity to review the final documents. The closed-shop nature of the process is counter the scientific empiricism of the enlightenment, and marks another significant break with traditional western culture.

      To Greens believers, this is of little consequence. Ultimately, global warming is a matter of faith.

      (As opposed to those with imaginary friends who urge them to run for PM).

    2. Quite so, DP. I enjoy a sprinkling of ideology on my breakfast Froot Loops. As for God Told Me To - Buy the ticket, take the ride.

    3. Never mind that all of the Biblical true believers obviously have not even begun to understand that the Bible is a work of fiction too. And that ALL of the characters in it, including "Jesus" are fictional characters too.

  3. In the accompanying pic, Turnbull illustrates a "loophole" and ScoMo confirms none could be seen from his veranda.

  4. I never trust a man who dyes his hair.

    1. Leith Elder writes "I never trust a man who dyes his hair."

      Same here.

      There is something disturbing about old codgers with jet black hair.

      Apart from the fact it's a good indicator they haven't emotionally moved out of their teens, it's just plain creepy!

  5. Andrews vs Turnbull? Oh yes, please, please let it be so - could it get any better? It would rival the World Championship Wrestling bouts of my childhood for sheer high camp farce - The Undertaker versus the Baffling Wanker... sorry, Waffling Banker! There'd be blood and embalming fluid everywhere.

    1. More like the Waffling banker vs the Pantomime Dame.

  6. And ink...lots of ink! I'm sharing your excitement Anon. Peak stupid seems to get bigger and better by the day.

  7. Oh, here we go, Greg Sheridan just extolled on QandA that Gillard-Rudd excessive funding for, especially education, a "massive con job" and "conscious sabotage" of the budget system. Fancy that, Sheridan & Turnbull & Morrison singing from same hymn-book!

  8. Hang on - isn't the Bro supposedly an expert on Defence and Foreign Affairs - submarines, autogyros and that sort of thing? Well, he isn't actually an expert in anything, but that's the capacity in which he's retained as a courtier by the Dark Emperor, so how come he's now suddenly spouting on government finances generally and education in particular? What a versatile fellow.

    Anyway, the latest Newspoll puts Labor ahead 51-49. Just one poll, but it's the first ALP lead since Malcolm's ascension, so it should rattle the government that little bit more. Good times.

  9. Since it's still the era of all things ghost(s)-of-Bob(s), let's re-add Santa's lil Conservative helper(s) to the schooling/culture wars mix.

    Under the LNP's 2013 Plan, the Feds are meant to be encouraging the States to deliver/convert more 'independent schools', with more curricula 'freedom' vis-a-vis a 'controversial' national curriculum, as an adjunct to 'State Schools' and to 'Catholic and Independent Schools'; whereby 'Catholic and Independent Schools', naturally, yield better Value(s), and whereby 'independent schools', naturally, yield better value(s), too; and thereby Parents/parents will choose to send their childrens to schools, per Kevin Donnelly's standard(s) education institute(d), wherever better reflects best received/perceived Value(s)/value(s).

    And so, I guess, an older and wiser(?) Bro. Greg really wouldn't know anything about when or how the young and foolish came to be insta-experts about everything, including a differentially-(un)der)funded, coincidentally-also-quite-unionised, decidedly-agnostic State(s) teaching and learning sector(s), then...


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