Redemption is at hand, Killer entertainment has returned, thanks to Nigel and the bromancer...

 

The pond's chief gripe with the hive mind lizard Oz and its dullard reptile inhabitants in recent times is the lack of entertainment, when elsewhere much entertainment is to be found.

For the past week, the pond has been vastly entertained by assorted scribblers in the Graudian, helpfully making plans for Nigel.

Yesterday he was given a most excellent Hydeing ... The Nigel Farage v Rupert Lowe prize fight is getting ugly. Has Reform reached its breaking point?

How soon before one of Reform’s MPs starts touting himself as the reform Reform candidate? A negative amount of time, it seems, with Great Yarmouth MP Rupert Lowe already relieved of the whip for saying that Reform is currently “a protest party led by the Messiah”. Yep: Jesus Christ Superkings.
Anyway, Nigel Farage has taken all this as well as you might expect. In terms of what’s happened since, with even Nigel judging that “things have got a little bit out of control”, I’m finding it quite hard to immerse myself fully in every angle. Mainly because I’m worried it’s going to be one of those stories that demeans men – and I’m a passionate supporter of their involvement in politics, whatever people are saying about DEI nowadays.
But the broad brush of it is: a party leader who wants to be PM is too much of an egomaniac to even handle having some MPs; some of his people who hate lawyers have called in the lawyers; some of his people who love free speech have been upset by some words; and some of his people who hate snowflakes have gone to the actual police about what they say is a bit of verbal. Then again, there is an alternative broad brush: Lowe is an old Radleian who admires Tommy Robinson; meanwhile, Elon Musk – a man who owns X but apparently has no access to Google – now thinks Rupert is the fairest of them all and that Nigel “doesn’t have what it takes”. In fact, according to a report in Tuesday’s Financial Times, Elon Musk’s allies suggest he would financially back a credible alternative party to Reform.

And so on, and before that the cracking Crace had also had a go ... A big thank you to Reform for the comic relief in dark times.

These past few weeks have been grim. The world hasn’t felt less safe in decades. European leaders desperately scrabbling to secure a peace in Ukraine that isn’t a capitulation to Russia. A US manchild president who is giving a convincing impression of a Russian asset. Vladimir Putin struggling to believe his good fortune.
So a big thank you to Reform for providing so much comic relief. Never has the UK needed a good laugh more than now. Which isn’t to say that the very public squabble between Nigel Farage and Rupert Lowe was in any way unexpected. Given enough time away from dissecting the niceties of the Nazi salute – these things matter to supporters of Reform. Strictly arm out to the front, not the side – Nige can usually manage to fall out with anyone. Apart from Richard Tice. Dicky only exists as an echo to Farage. Without a mind of his own. His tragedy has been to be born a man of limited intellect and charisma.

And so on, and these days the pond needs comic relief from the grimness on a daily basis. Zoe Williams came good with How did Reform end up in such a mess? Is that a serious question?

I have one primitive but foolproof tool of political analysis. Trying to balance competing claims in any matter of party discipline – unless it’s a party of which I am a member, in which case, of course, I have already picked a side – I think: “Does it sound as if anyone’s done the kind of vetting even I would know how to do?”
Rupert Lowe has been suspended from Reform over claims of bullying and physical intimidation, which he says are without basis. He went on to say, on X, that he was “disappointed, but not surprised” by the allegations, which has a conspiratorial whiff. He has already said the allegations are false, so if he is not surprised to hear them made, it surely indicates that he thinks he is dealing with the kind of people who will expediently exploit any kind of nonsense.
In other words, it’s time to settle in for this fight, which will not end quietly.

Great, a fight, just like Tamworth High, with all the thugby leaguers going at it, and the onlookers chanting "fight, fight, fight" ...

Even the Graudian's editorial provided comedy ... The Guardian view on Nigel Farage: not even Donald Trump is as damaging to Reform as its own leader

One constant of British political life is that Nigel Farage never stays out of the spotlight for long. Having built a political career on railing against the establishment – while, paradoxically, embedding himself within it – Mr Farage finds himself embroiled in yet another melodrama. This time, however, the threat comes not from the usual suspects – remainers, the BBC or “woke” elites – but from his own side.
The affair revolves around Rupert Lowe, a little‑known businessman, elected as one of Reform UK’s five MPs in 2024 under Mr Farage’s leadership. That should have been the beginning of a forgettable contribution to British public life. Yet, thanks to the intervention of Elon Musk – the world’s richest man and Donald Trump’s “government efficiency” tsar – Mr Lowe has a starring role in Mr Farage’s latest soap opera.

A soap opera, a fight, Jesus Christ Superkings. Now that, as an MGM musical might say, is entertainment. Are you not entertained?

Turn away from all that, turn back to the lizard Oz, and all you get is soporific inducements to turn full somnambule ...

Surely, the tariffs had the reptiles in a frenzy, and there was titillation about Greg turning teal, but over on the extreme far right, it was business as usual ...

Petulant Peta reminded the pond of why it never offered her up for contemplation ... Immigrants welcome to join us, but not change us, The issue with immigration is not just quantity, it’s also quality; the values and attitudes that at least some of our recent migrants are bringing with them, including overseas hatreds we used to think had no place in our country.

What a stupid, bigoted, dogwhistling racist, as if the good old Catholic frogs v. Proddie dogs (or vice versa) didn't constitute an imported overseas hatred. 

It might not have much currency these days, but the pond is just as glad to have abandoned it as when it farewelled the Tamworth serve of three vegies and a chop ... for decent grub produced by those who'd forgotten traditional Irish and German values.

Killer was the only alternative, but there was some also some wildly exciting good news. 

Yesterday the bromancer returned, to guide the pond out of the wilderness. 

It was only an 'umble three minute read, and it vanished from the front page almost as quickly as it appeared, but it filled the pond with relief and excitement.

Someone has to be Ukraine’s midwife to history: it may well be Trump, The shape of any Ukrainian ceasefire has been the case for months, more than a year. Donald Trump certainly never lacks energy and it may possibly be that he gets a decent outcome here.

The bromancer was filled with love for the orange piece-making orangutang and started with one of those uncredited collages for which the reptiles are becoming famous...Donald Trump says the ball over the Ukraine war is now with Vladimir Putin.

The consummate artistry reminded the pond of a Daanyal Saeed story in Crikey, News Corp introduces its own AI model —NewsGPT — to ‘enhance’ not ‘replace’ jobs, News Corp has introduced its own AI model, NewsGPT, which raises issues of ethics, bias and regulation, one expert told Crikey. (sorry, paywall)

News Corp Australia has announced the launch of NewsGPT, its own generative AI tool, which it insists will “enhance” staff capabilities “not replace them”.
Julian Delany, the company’s chief technology officer, sent a memo to staff on Tuesday, first reported by Capital Brief and seen by Crikey, which outlined what its new toy will be used for.
The memo mentioned NewsGPT would be “supporting the creative process” and “streamlining daily tasks”.

Every day the pond's eyeballs are assailed by the reptiles' "creative process", which seems to be directed by Verhoven ...

Never mind, on with the bromancer, bearing good tidings ... while revealing the reason for an absence that had flung the pond into abject despair:

Could it be that Donald Trump is actually going to produce some half way decent outcome in Ukraine after all?
This is a question we have to ask after the astonishing developments over the last few hours, in which the US has resumed intelligence and military aid to Ukraine, while Washington and Kyiv have agreed on a ceasefire proposal to put to Russia.
I’m coming to the end of a holiday in Europe, but it’s impossible to take even a few hours away from the Trump bubble of consciousness, which seems to have enveloped the entire world.
Does anyone anywhere on the globe ever have a full minute of mental activity which doesn’t involve Trump?
Talk about flooding the zone.
Like almost everyone I know and respect, I was appalled, truly and utterly appalled, at the bullying by Trump and his vice president, JD Vance, of Volodymyr Zelensky in that bizarre White House pantomime show.
Even worse was Trump’s decision to refuse to support a United Nations resolution critical of Russia, and then his decision to cut off military and intelligence aid to Ukraine. These grievously wicked moves could only add to the leverage possessed by Vladimir Putin, as murderous and dangerous a dictator as the world knows today. Now, Trump has reversed these moves.

Truly and utterly appalled? That sounded a worry ... the bromancer should have been thanking him ...

The reptiles immediately interrupted the ranting about "grievously wicked moves" with an AV distraction ... Ukraine agreed to accept an immediate 30-day ceasefire in the conflict with Russia during talks with U.S. officials in Saudi Arabia, the countries said in a joint statement.

The bromancer took the cue and produced a gigantic billy goat butt ...

But everyone in the strategic lane has known for a long time now that the only prospect of peace in Ukraine is a ceasefire more or less with forces in place and then setting up a sufficient deterrent structure to convince Russia not to attack Ukraine again.
This is how the Korean war ended and resulted in a durable ceasefire. There has never been a comprehensive peace agreement on the Korean peninsula, but it has never reverted to war, and South Korea has become a magnificent, prosperous democracy.

Um, North Korea?

The shape of any Ukrainian ceasefire has been the case for months, more than a year. But someone had to be, to misuse an old communist metaphor, the midwife to history. Trump certainly never lacks energy and it may possibly be that he gets a decent outcome here.
Of course, this is very far from established. It could all turn disastrous. And Putin has a big vote in what happens.

At this point the reptiles provided a splendid distraction ...

Malevolent Malware? That helped the bromancer's U-turn go the full 360 doughnut ...

The other thing is, while I think Trump is gravely wrong historically, morally and strategically to trash US alliances, his essential message to Europe is right.
The Europeans have to take vastly more defence responsibility for themselves.
How can it be that 500 million rich, democratic West Europeans cannot deal militarily with 140 million
impoverished, autocratic subjects of modern Russian tsarism?
It’s because the Europeans, like the Australians, have been terrific “bludgers” about defence, always leaving the heavy lifting, and the lion’s share of effort, to the Americans.
The Australian reaction has been almost psychotic.

Indeed, indeed, time for world war three, and a final AV distraction ...The United States has agreed to lift its pause on intelligence sharing and military aid with Ukraine.

Trust the man who ranted about being "truly and utterly appalled" by "grievously wicked moves" to spot the "almost psychotic" in others? Sure can ...as the bromancer blithely quotes the man who wondered if sending AUKUS subs down under was a waste of time and money ...

People are upset that a senior US official, Elbridge Colby, should point out that our defence effort is pathetic.
Richard Marles, a serious contender for the worst defence minister this nation has ever had, says with his usual unctuous equivocation, that Australia is happy to continue to have a dialogue with the US about defence spending.
How spiffingly, Bertie Woosterishly, irrelevant that fatuous remark is.
No ABC interviewer had the wit to ask Marles why, in its last budget, the Albanese government committed less than 2 per cent of GDP to defence? The final figure was 1.99 per cent whereas defence planning documents have promised much more than 2 per cent for years.
Britain, France, Germany and other European powers with vastly bigger economies than ours, and surrounded by allies, have massively increased their defence budgets in order to provide for their own security, as a result of Trump’s albeit crude telling them underlying, hard, fundamental truths.
We don’t need to increase our defence budget because Trump is rude to us. And tariffs on steel exports are nothing in the strategic scheme of things.
But as anyone with an IQ above room temperature, with eyes even half open, who is even in the first stages of waking from deep slumber can see, Trump expects allies to look after themselves militarily.
As Ukraine and Israel demonstrate, if you can do that you might well get some help from your friends.
Having spent the last month in Europe, I’m reluctantly coming to the view that the only people on the whole planet who don’t get this in any way at all are the leaders of the Albanese government.
Over the course of four years, Trump will do many good things and many bad things. If we can’t draw the most obvious lessons from the greatest strategic changes of our lifetimes, that we must immediately acquire independent military capability, we may deserve the fate that we conspire to deliver to ourselves.

Indeed, indeed ...

And so to Killer Creighton of the IPA to complete this day's comedy stylings with Anthony Albanese must focus on ailing economy, not bashing Donald Trump’s tariffs, As a country we should be far more concerned about the reasons – largely self-inflicted – that Whyalla steelworks collapsed rather than about the theoretical future impacts of US tariffs, which we can’t control.

Naturally the reptiles started with a snap of the orange ogre ...Donald Trump addresses a joint session of Congress.

The pond should note that Killer of the IPA seemed to be swimming against the reptile tide, with a little consternation hinted at in other stories ...

Misleader of the free world? 

Nah, leader of Killer Creighton, and it's all going to end spiffingly, Bertie Woosterishly well...

Anthony Albanese appears to be following Canadian prime minister-elect Mark Carney’s strategy for re-election: harness domestic anti-Trump sentiment – triggered by the US President’s tariffs push – to cruise back into office.
The Prime Minister on Wednesday slammed Donald Trump’s imposition of a 25 per cent tariff on steel and aluminium imports into the US as “completely unjustified” and “against the spirit of our two nations’ enduring friendship”. Trade Minister Don Farrell went further, decrying a “very bad day for our relationship with the United States”.
Albanese might ride this anti-Trump wave to victory, as Carney hopes to in Canada, but such confected outrage will look like a tantrum, an over-reaction on both the economic and political front.
Canada, whose exports have been similarly affected, can afford to mouth off about the US; it isn’t in the same precarious position as Australia, which is practically defenceless, except for the good graces of the US.

There was a Malware fly in the ointment that needed to be given the flick, Malcolm Turnbull on The Project.

Killer gave the smirking, sniping killer of the NBN a shot across the bows ... 

It turned out that these tariffs were nothing, perhaps just a farting in our general direction ...

Equally, Malcolm Turnbull’s provocative sniping at the US President didn’t help Australia’s chance of obtaining an exemption as we did in 2018; still, it’s unlikely we were ever going to get one. The second Trump administration is far more assertive, ideological and organised than the first. Trump himself doesn’t face re-election.
The tariffs shouldn’t directly trouble Australia too much. We are among the rare group of nations with a trade surplus with the US. Our total steel and aluminium exports to the US were a little over $1bn ($1.6bn) last year, a tiny fraction of our total exports to all countries of more than $650bn.
And some – probably most – of the new tariff will be paid ultimately by US consumers, given the real incidence depends on the relative market power of exporters and importers at any given time and location. Every year the US produces only around half of the steel it requires, making it hard for local buyers to pivot to domestic alternatives. And even if they could, Australia could redirect steel and aluminium to other nations.
BlueScope Steel, Australia’s biggest exporter of steel to the US, even said it could benefit overall given its significant operations within the US.

At this point the reptiles introduced huge snaps of a couple of wretches ... Mark Carney, Anthony Albanese

Those snaps set Killer off ...

From Trump’s point of view, why should the US give Australia an exemption, which will inevitably prompt similar demands from other nations?
Remember, the US has several “special relationships”, including with Britain, Israel, Canada and France, depending on who its officials are talking to. Don’t forget uniform tariffs were front and centre in Trump’s re-election platform.
Still, he may have cast his tariffs as a way to Make America Great Again, but they more readily serve as a way to Make America Solvent Again.

What about the free trade agreement Australia supposedly had? Not worth the paper it was written on... and besides Killer was all in on the tariffs kool-aid ...

While other weak-kneed snowflakes whimpered and whined and did their pussy routine ...For American voters, coming down from the Maga Kool-Aid high, there is now a sombre realisation. Tariffs will make many goods more expensive, push up inflation, potentially harm their standard of living, and wreak havoc with the supply chains of millions of small and medium-sized businesses. Larger corporations are also vulnerable to a slowdown in consumer confidence and spending (here), Killer was all in, and still as high as a ketamine-fuelled kite ...

As I wrote in these pages last week, the US is facing a shockingly poor fiscal position, making new spending commitments almost impossible without significant spending cuts or massive tax increases. Indeed, America’s woeful fiscal position stems in part from its subsidisation of Australia’s and other nations’ defence for decades.
Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency has laudably found savings in the tens of billions, but without savings in the trillions, tax increases will be necessary to balance the books.
Tariffs are practically the only lever a US president can pull without congress passing a new tax, which is next to impossible given the makeup of congress.

Ah Uncle Elon. The pond won't cover the way he and the Cantaloupe Clown turned the White House into a dealership ... others did that ...(archive link)

The pond's problem with the WaPo coverage?

At no point did they highlight King Donald's discovery that there were computers in cars ... instead ...

In a remarkable scene, Trump spent about 30 minutes talking with reporters as he kicked the tires on some of the five Teslas that had been parked on the drive of the White House for his shopping pleasure. The display offered a momentary distraction from an economy that has seen rising egg prices and plunging stocks. And it provided a vivid reminder of how transactional Trump can be, openly punishing his enemies and, in this case, just as openly rewarding his friends.

Still, it gave the pond a chance to pause and enjoy this in the Private Eye, which has done the meme rounds ...

As if reading Killer wasn't enough, the reptiles flung in an AV distraction featuring Killer and petulant Peta ... IPA Senior Fellow & Chief Economist Adam Creighton has claimed US President Donald Trump declining to rule out the chance of a recession in the United States is “justifiable honesty”. “I think Trump’s second time around is going to be more honest because he doesn’t have to be re-elected,” Mr Creighton told Sky News host Peta Credlin. “He can be far more honest with the American people and there could well be a recession.”

Would you buy a new car from Honest Don and Uncle Leon? Being brutally honest about the need for mug punters to make a sacrifice and take a recession hit?

Killer would ...

Trump has even promised to cut income tax. It’s not a matter of choosing the best of all possible worlds but the least bad. Tariffs could be a better option than a global financial crisis as faith in the US dollar plummets.

What a pity Killer missed out on the best idea. Take all the tariff money and use it to send cheques out (checks if you will), so that the whole Ponzi scheme could see this tax on consumers pissed up against the wall, and do absolutely nothing for the deficit ... but Killer did see a few clouds, coming from China ...

The bigger threat to Australia stems from any global slowdown triggered by higher tariffs on the rest of the world, including China, which still overwhelmingly underpins our prosperity via resource exports. The good news is the 2018 tariffs winded but didn’t derail China’s growth, despite the ominous forecasts at the time. Who knows how disruptive this second round will be.
Trump himself has hinted at some economic turmoil, refusing to rule out a recession. The truth is no one knows; the global economy is a complex, unpredictable beast. Perhaps a ceasefire between Russia and Ukraine – and the diminished probability of nuclear war – will offset any loss of economic confidence caused by the tariffs. At any rate, given Trump’s on-again-off-again approach, they might not even last.
For all the bravado, Canberra has been wise at least to rule out any retaliation. If another country wants to artificially inflate prices for their own citizens, then so be it: we don’t have to copy that strategy to our own detriment.
Opposition Leader Peter Dutton said the tariffs were a “bad day for our country”. Perhaps in the short term they might be, but if they serve as a reminder of our own lack of economic resilience in the face of a fading China boom, they might prove otherwise in the long run.

Ah, the mutton Dutton ... some of the reptiles weren't sounding that pleased, with an EXCLUSIVE ...

Perhaps the pond should have driven down that road, but instead got stuck with a snap of Senator Don Farrell

Oh come on reptiles, keep the memes flowing ...

And so to a final Killer flourish ...

There’s a lot federal and state governments could do to help our exporters compete, such as paring back the excrescence of red and green tape that has hobbled our exports with additional costs. Getting rid of the net-zero fetish, which has pushed up costs for all Australian energy, prompting the closure of vast swathes of our manufacturing sector. This would be a good place to start.
As a country we should be far more concerned about the reasons, largely self-inflicted, that Whyalla steelworks collapsed rather than about the theoretical future impacts of US tariffs, which we can’t control.
The billions of taxpayers’ dollars the federal government is spending to bail out the South Australian facility, not to mention the de facto tax on energy that contributed to its collapse in the first place, dwarf whatever damage the Trump tariffs will cause. If the current government wants a legacy beyond posturing, it should focus its energies here, rather than the tiresome Trump bashing.

Credit where Gina IPA credit was due ... Adam Creighton is a senior fellow at the Institute of Public Affairs.

Be fair, only Killer could end with a reference to tiresome Trump bashing ... step on Gina's idol and expect a roughing up Killer style...

That noted, can someone help him with a tin foil cap, much more effective than a mask? 

Luckily the immortal Rowe could ...

Speaking of Trump bashing ...just a soupçon please waiter, Killer has put the pond on a diet ...