In which sundry reptiles try to cope with the new world order ...

 

Sheesh, the pond steps out for a moment, and returns to discover the hive is in an uproar, the worker bees agitated, or if you prefer a different metaphor, the Chinese have poked a stick at the ants' nest, and the lizard Oz ants - no longer proud, brave reptiles - are running every which way...

There's also a great fuss about a once-in-a-generation cyclone fury (ssshh, don't mention climate change) and Harmony Day, with the reptiles - the craven Craven in particular - doing their best to make it disharmonious, but the pond was after the bigger picture:

Was there something deeply weird in that juxtaposition of the Major, valiantly at war with China, with just below him an offer from Xiao Qian to be a willing AI partner in building a bright new world? Did some wicked reptile have a wicked sensa huma?

The Caterist was also banging the China drum, but early in the morning you had to dive below the fold to find him ...

What a lot of leopard face-eating and FAFO there is going down in the lizard Oz this morning.

Silly Jill Filipovic noted the face-eating phenomenon in The Beast and proposed Why You Shouldn’t Shame MAGA Voters Who Are Just Coming to Their Senses (archive)... while noting assorted follies ...

…there are all sorts of Trump supporters who are now shocked that they got exactly what they voted for.
There are the “Make America Healthy Again” fans of RFK Jr. who backed Trump at their preferred candidate’s behest, only to now realize they hate most of his policies. There’s the “lower the price of eggs” contingent now paying even more at the grocery store. There are the “drain the swamp” proponents shocked by the decimation of the federal workforce—especially when it includes their peers and kin. There are those who were fed up with Joe Biden’s pro-Israel stance but are now aghast that Trump has schemed to push Palestinians out of the Gaza Strip entirely. And there are those who seemingly crawled out from under a rock on Nov. 5 to cast their ballots, and are learning that maybe their preferred podcasters or MMA fighters aren’t the best people to take political advice from.
When I read quotes from these folks I can’t help to think about a famous Trumpism: “They’re not sending their best.”
These voters did not, to use a Melania-ism, Be Best. Or to quote the popular refrain, they are the people whose faces were indeed eaten after voting for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party. It is hard to muster up any sympathy for them, especially when they have led—or were led—to so much suffering, with infinitely more incoming.

And so on and pity poor Ukraine too ...

Meanwhile, the reptiles are leading the FAFO charge down under, singing a plaintive "what about me", with the Caterist showing the way this morning ...

China’s gunboat diplomacy in the Tasman Sea, Anthony Albanese missed the chance to relegate Peter Dutton to an also-ran, just as John Howard did to Kim Beazley in 2001.

Dammit, Jill, the pond simply can't resist mocking the Caterist, because he'll never come to his floodwaters in quarries senses ...

That said, it seems it has finally begun to dawn on even the dimmest and dumbest of the reptiles - such as the Caterist - that the strictly transactional King Donald doesn't give a flying fuck about traditional alliances ... so the best the Caterist could do was return to the days of the notorious lying little Johnny,  The contrast between Anthony Albanese and John Howard could not be clearer. Pictures: Brenton Edwards/NewsWire

The Caterist started off by showing how to win friends and maintain alliances by having a snipe at the Poms and the Kiwis...

Reports emerged from London at the weekend that Chancellor Rachel Reeves has been shuffling pictures on the walls of 11 Downing Street.

Winston Churchill’s portrait, which hung above the fireplace in the dining room, has been replaced with a woollen tapestry depicting the stylised multi-coloured head of an unknown woman.

Reeves’ decision to replace an image of Britain’s greatest wartime leader with a DEI pick hardly sends the reassuring message we were hoping for.

Global tensions are rising, and no Western leader seems to have a clue how to respond.

Chinese warships carry out a drive-by shooting in the Tasman Sea and then proceed to circumnavigate the continent, and our PM simply shrugs his shoulders.

China signs a comprehensive economic and diplomatic agreement with the Cook Islands right under New Zealand’s nose. Cook Islanders have NZ passports and fly the NZ flag, but successive New Zealand governments remained mute while the Chinese built a courthouse and police headquarters.

Say what: "no Western leader seems to have a clue how to respond"

But King Donald I does. 

Hand Ukraine to Vlad the Sociopathic Impaler, and give Xi Taiwan, provided he's willing to pay a good price, and in the meantime, let's take over Greenland and Canada and turn Gaza into a new Riviera.

At this point the reptiles reminded the Caterist of a recent event, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky incurs the ire of US President Donald Trump in the Oval Office at the White House on Saturday. Picture: Getty Images

The completely clueless Caterist, a light slowly dawning in the dim brain, responded this way:

It would be fair to say that 2025 is not meeting expectations.

We hoped the inauguration of a cognitively functional US president would make the world a safer place. It hardly feels like one after Donald Trump’s performance in the Oval Office on Saturday AEDT, where he appeared to be auditioning for a remake of The Godfather.

The ill-tempered exchange between Trump, Vice-President JD Vance and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky may indeed have been “great television”, as the President boasted, but some of us prefer diplomacy to be dull.

The test of the success of the gathering was not the ratings or who sent who away with a flea in their ear, but whether a just end to this horrible war is nearer than when the meeting began.

Who knows, Trump may still be concealing his actual hand in a devious game of poker the rest of us are too stupid to understand.

Perhaps his chief adversary is Vladimir Putin, and not the hapless president of the country Putin invaded. Perhaps Trump does accept that the US and its allies stand on one side of the axis of evil and Russia stands on the other in the company of China, Iran and North Korea.

You’d be foolish to bet your house on it after Trump’s display on Saturday.

Such a stupid man. It would be fair to say that 2025 is not meeting expectations.

And yet still yearning for the notion that King Donald is playing 5D chess or a devious game of poker?!

Why not show a gloating lackey of Vlad the Sociopathic Impaler, Russia's foreign ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova added her take on the Oval Office incident. Picture: AFP/Russian Foreign Ministry

The Caterist rambled on ...

The Russians were ecstatic at Zelensky’s humiliation. “The insolent pig has finally received a solid slap in the face,” Dmitry Medvedev, deputy chairman of Russia’s security council, posted on Telegram.

Russian diplomatic spokeswoman Maria Zakharova added: “How Trump and Vance contained themselves and didn’t slap this scumbag is a miracle of restraint.”

Moscow’s triumphant rhetoric is understandable. Trump has already acceded to one of Putin’s significant demands: that Ukraine should not join NATO.

Wherever Ukraine’s new borders are drawn in the eventual carve-up, Ukraine has been denied its best chance of defending them. The victory Putin will eventually claim will be anything but hollow.

This matters a great deal in this part of the world, particularly for Taiwan, where China intensified its war games last week 40 nautical miles offshore. On Thursday, an emboldened Chinese military spokesman warned Taipei: “We will come and get you, sooner or later.”

US Secretary of State Marco Rubio’s assurance that the US is committed to preventing China from capturing Taiwan is reassuring.

Yet China will take its cue from America’s actions, not its words.

If the US refrains from playing an active role in the defence of Ukraine, why would it embrace the far more challenging task of defending Taiwan?

Set against that background, China’s gunboat diplomacy in the Tasman Sea is far from the routine incident the Albanese government wants it to be.

Hang on, hang on, that should have read Faux Noise was ecstatic at Zelensky’s humiliation...Hannity's triumphant rhetoric is par for the Murdochian Faux Noise hypocritical course ...

Oh American strength is back baby. Trust Faux Noise, trust King Donald, trust Hannity ...

Somehow the reptiles down under and the Caterist seemed completely unaware of their kissing American cousins, and the deeds of their fearless Chairman Emeritus leader.

Instead the Caterist tried to pin it on Albo, Anthony Albanese’s initial response on February 21 did little to comfort Australians. Picture: Brenton Edwards/NewsWire

Anthony Albanese’s immediate response, that it was consistent with international law, might have been lifted straight from the Chinese Foreign Ministry’s talking points.

His choice of mildly evaluative words would not have reassured Australians. When passenger planes are forced to take evasive action to avoid the risk of being shot down, we expect our government to do more than “make appropriate representation through diplomatic channels”.

Was the failure to give adequate warning merely inappropriate, as the PM described it, or might it more accurately be described as reckless, provocative and aggressive?

The transcripts of the PM’s recent press conferences betray his warped priorities.

The live-fire exercise occurred at 9.30am AEST on Friday, February 21, giving Albanese plenty of time to make it the focus of his press conference in Wollongong later that morning. Yet he began by announcing a $13.6m grant for a rugby league training and community facility.

Almost 20 worthless minutes ensued before the live-fire incident was raised by an ABC reporter, prompting the PM’s limp response. Two questions and 291 words later, Albanese had said all he had to say, and returned to weightier matters.

This should have been Albanese’s Tampa moment, his opportunity to abandon his subprime election campaign with an appeal to rally around the flag.

Time for the reptiles to whip up gunboat fever, with a snap, The People's Liberation Army-Navy (PLA-N) Jiangkai-class frigate Hengyang sailing at an undisclosed location on February 11. Picture: Australian Defence Force/AFP

The Caterist seemed to think a few planes would sort the Chinese out:

He could have stopped the slow leak of taxpayers’ money into election sweeteners and announced he’d be using it to make a modest down payment on a batch of F-35 joint strike fighters.

Sure, the jets have their limits, but Australians would sleep more easily if another couple of dozen were sitting on the tarmac at Williamstown.

Sleep more easily? Have their limits?

One of the many troubles with the plane - as with European defence systems - is the heavy reliance on US software and data. For example, see this section of a parliamentary report on the plane:

Mission data loads and Autonomic Logistics Information System

3.28      The F-35 relies on mission data loads, which comprise compilations of the mission data files needed for the operation of the sensors and other mission systems components. The mission data loads work in conjunction with the system software data load to drive sensor search parameters and to identify and correlate sensor detections of threat radar signals. The loads are produced by the US Reprogramming Laboratory.[37] The Autonomic Logistics Information System (ALIS) transmits the

F-35's health and maintenance action information to the appropriate users on a globally-distributed network to technicians worldwide. ALIS receives Health Reporting Codes via a radio frequency downlink while the F-35 is still in flight, which will enable the pre-positioning of parts and qualified maintainers so that when the aircraft lands, downtime is minimized and efficiency is increased.[38]

3.29      Some submissions raised concerns regarding the F-35's reliance on data exchanges.[39] Mr Archibald warned that disruptions to data exchanges could significantly compromise the F-35's effectiveness and noted that aircraft turn-around will be directly linked to the speed with which the necessary data can be downloaded and uploaded:

All F-35 software laboratories are located within the United States. This has introduced vulnerabilities in the operation and sustainment of the global F-35 fleet that are only beginning to emerge. The biggest risk is that, since the F-35 cannot operate effectively without permanent data exchanges with its software labs and logistic support computers in the United States, any disruption in the two-way flow of information would compromise its effectiveness.

All F-35 aircraft operating across the world will have to update their mission data files and their ALIS profiles before and after every sortie, to ensure that on-board systems are programmed with the latest available operational data and that ALIS is kept permanently informed of each aircraft's technical status and maintenance requirements. ALIS can, and has, prevented aircraft taking off because of an incomplete data file. Currently, downloading the data file from a 1.5 hour flight of the F-35 takes 1.5 hours. It is hoped to get that down to 15 minutes. By comparison, the Gripen E can be re-armed and refuelled after an air-to-air mission in 10 minutes.

The volume of data that must travel to and from the United States is gigantic, and any disruption in Internet traffic could cripple air forces as the F-35 cannot operate unless it is logged into, and cleared by, ALIS. Updating and uploading mission data loads depends on a functioning Internet. That such a major weapon system would rely upon a separate and delicate system is the height of stupidity

There's a lot more to say about the flaws and risks involved in this turkey, but suffice to say, if King Donald wants to pull the plug or apply unfair pressure, he can do it with the plane at the drop of a hat ... and suffice to add that a few more of these turkeys won't help the pond sleep better at night.

As for the heights of stupidity, when dealing with the Caterist, the pond prefers to think of the unfathomable depths of relentless, never-ending stupidity. 

Do carry on with the stupid, 'movement of floodwaters in quarries' whisperer ...

Albanese could have relegated Peter Dutton to an also-ran, just as John Howard did to Kim Beazley in 2001.

He could have seized the opportunity to revise his disastrous energy and climate policy, as many European nations did in response to the loss of Russian gas.

Above all, he could have satisfied our longing for a leader with the resolve of John Curtin, who can appeal to America’s better instincts and forge a united alliance.

As in 1942, when Curtin broadcast a memorable speech to the American people after the fall of Java, the PM must assure our US allies that we are playing our part by raising military spending from its current inadequate level.

Curtin told the Americans he was not approaching them as a mendicant but as the leader of a nation that was willing to devote its resources to defeat a common enemy. “Our people have a government that is governing with orders and not with weak-kneed suggestions,” he said. “We will pull knee to knee with you with every ounce of our weight.”

A Prime Minister across the brief would rise above tawdry politics, get himself to Washington and express similar sentiments to a President who, despite his mercurial tendencies, might just be prepared to listen.

Nick Cater is a senior fellow at the Menzies Research Centre.

That's it. We must bend the knee, and crawl in a supine fashion to King Donald I, and hope he "might just be prepared to listen".

Good luck with that. 

Let's hope that Gina is prepared to hand over all her valuable minerals to King Donald to help save Australia. And good luck with that too ...

As John Hanscombe noted in this morning's The Echnida,:

...Should we be alert? Absolutely. Alarmed? Not unduly. But we should be wary of politicians trying to milk political capital out of the episode, especially when there's an election approaching at flank speed.

Those in the Coalition whipping up fear need to be mindful of the sea mine bobbing in these waters - the 99-year lease of Darwin Port by the then Country Liberal NT government to Chinese company Landbridge. A territory decision, the federal Coalition government at the time claimed. Nothing we could do about it.

Rubbish.

Section 122 of the constitution allows federal Parliament to overrule territory law at any time.

The port lease raised eyebrows in 2015, when Australia-China relations were on firmer ground. Remember, it was only a year earlier Tony Abbott welcomed Xi Jinping into the Australian Parliament.

The lease resurfaced again last election. And if Peter Dutton and James Paterson continue to bang the war drums, it's likely to become a hazard to their own political navigation through this one.

Calling this government and its prime minister weak on China when your own government didn't intervene to stop the lease of critical infrastructure to a company linked to the Chinese Communist Party reeks of hypocrisy.

On its way to Penang in 1944, U-862 launched a new acoustic homing torpedo at a tanker it was shadowing. The torpedo turned full circle and latched onto the U-boat's own acoustic signal. Only quick thinking and a crash dive narrowly saved the day.

Hypocrisy is like a homing torpedo. It can easily turn on the vessel that fired it.

There was a Broelman to go with it, explaining how to follow the Caterist method ...

Meanwhile, Monsieur Alan Dupont rushed to the breach to offer hope, We need a Plan B just in case ‘King Donald’ betrays our alliance, Trump seems to reject any notion of global responsibility, alliance solidarity or respect for sovereignty other than America’s. Treating allies like adversaries and bullying other countries into submission is a dumb strategy.

Just in case? Cue a snap of King Donald (and there's no need for those scare quotation marks), US President Donald Trump points to a TV crew as he walks to board Air Force One. Picture: AFP

The pond preferred this portrait by the immortal Rowe ...

Lead on Monsieur Dupont, help us get out of the wormhole maze ...

Has Pax Americana reached its denouement – not at the hands of autocratic challengers but a wannabe American dictator named Donald Trump?

And will Trump’s love for authoritarian strong men embolden China’s Xi Jinping to flex his military muscles in the seas around Australia?

The great disrupter is trashing the assumptions, norms and architecture that have underpinned Australian and global security since 1945.

Barely five weeks into his second coming, Trump has stunned the Arab world by promising to turn a devastated Gaza Strip into the “Riviera of the Middle East”; urged Canadians to become America’s 51st state; offered to buy Greenland from Denmark in what would be the biggest real estate deal since the US purchase of Alaska from Russia in 1867, and; pressured Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky into trading off part of his country’s rich minerals endowment as a down payment for US support in the ongoing war against Russia.

Sheesh, that meeting again, US President Donald Trump and Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky meet in the Oval Office. Picture: AFP

Pace Hannity, that was just showing American strength, but it seems to have set Monsieur Dupont off ...

Not content with these gobsmacking initiatives, Trump has also cast doubt on his willingness to support NATO – the foundational pillar of Europe’s post-World War II security architecture – telling Europeans they need to look after themselves.

Despite assurances by US Secretary of State Marco Rubio that NATO still matters, we seem to be returning to an older, more anarchic era of geopolitics where great powers dominate and carve up the world into spheres of influence and economic dependencies.

Worse still, Trump seems to reject any notion of global responsibility, alliance solidarity or respect for sovereignty other than America’s.

Treating allies like adversaries and bullying other countries into submission is a dumb strategy. Whatever gains are achieved will be ephemeral and eventually outweighed by a loss of global influence as once friendly countries lose trust in American leadership and loosen their economic and security ties with the US.

King Donald has yet to learn that fear gets you so far, but trust gets you further.

There you go, not so hard, King Donald, not 'King Donald', as the reptiles offered another snap, Britain's Prime Minister Keir Starmer and Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky prepare for talks in London on Sunday, a day after Trump’s theatrics. Picture: AFP

Monsieur Dupont suddenly had doubts about AUKUS ...

So far Australia has largely escaped Trump’s baleful eye. But after beating up on Zelensky and excoriating European allies for their paltry defence contributions, it would be a major surprise if Trump doesn’t demand increased defence spending and greater burden-sharing from Asian allies, including Australia.

Spruiking AUKUS and our credentials as a historically loyal ally may not cut it any more as our flatlining defence budget and hollowed-out defence force come under the microscope in Washington.

After up-ending the security orders of the Middle East and Europe, it’s only a matter of time before Trump seeks to refashion Asia’s too.

But if he wants to be king then Xi can’t be emperor. Imbued with his own sense of destiny Xi intuitively understands what this means. Two tigers can’t live together on the same mountain, warns the Chinese proverb.

Trump has already fired off an opening salvo by imposing an additional 10 per cent tariff on imports from China, almost certainly just a beginning.

He has threatened much higher tariffs of up to 60 per cent. If these are applied China will reciprocate and look for other ways to impose countervailing pressure.

Cue another terrifying snap, Chinese President Xi Jinping and Russian President Vladimir Putin speak during a plenary session at the BRICS summit in Kazan. Picture: AFP

Where's the bromancer on all this? At this crucial time he's gone AWOL, or is MIA, and all we have is Monsieur Duplont? And all he's got is some sort of risible Plan B? Please, let it be over soon ...

An extended trade war would be unmitigated bad news for Australia because China takes one-third of our exports, mainly in the form of iron ore and coal.

Demand for these commodities could drop significantly if China’s ailing economy is hit with punitive tariffs.

The negative impact on the economy will be amplified if we don’t succeed in winning exemptions on looming US imposts that would hit our exports of aluminium, steel and copper.

Our best hope is that the two superpowers do a deal limiting the fallout.

But Trump’s challenges won’t be confined to trade.

They will be multi-pronged and interconnected. The decision to cut 90 per cent – $US54bn ($87bn) – of the US foreign aid budget is already rippling through the fragile economies of small Pacific Island states, creating unexpected opportunities for Beijing to make further inroads into a region once considered a Western preserve.

Solomon Islands is effectively a Chinese suzerain. The Cook Islands may soon follow.

Oh dear, the Major is sure to have something to say about those difficult, pesky, uppity islanders ... and then came a snap reaffirming that dawning awareness that all that soft power foreign aid disappearing might be an issue, The influence of the Chinese government in Honiara, capital of the Solomon Islands, is immediately evident, with Donald Trump's foreign aid freeze likely to make the situation worse. Picture: AFP

On and on Monsieur Dupont ranted ...

And don’t count on Trump riding to the rescue should Xi decide it’s time to take Taiwan by force.

Contrary to widespread expectations that Trump would increase US defence spending, his newly appointed Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth has ordered senior military officers to develop a budget plan that would slash defence spending by 8 per cent – a dramatic cut that, if implemented, could lead to a reduction in the US military presence in Asia and Australia. That would delight Xi and likely lead to more frequent deployments of Chinese warships to our neighbourhood for live-fire exercises and other manoeuvres.

There is no doubting the message. Beijing will send its navy wherever and whenever it wants with a cavalier disregard for safety and due process. It now seems clear that Beijing failed to provide any warning of its live-fire exercises off the Australian east coast last week, flouting convention and causing major disruptions to civil air traffic.

The reptiles' solution? Turn to Rita, unlovely meter maid in an audio visual supplement, and blame it all on Albo ...

Sky News host Rita Panahi has accused Prime Minister Anthony Albanese of “kowtowing” to the Chinese Communist Party “endlessly” following his response to China’s live fire drills in the Tasman Sea. The Albanese government said the Chinese are complying with international law and that Australia participates in many military exercises in the South China Sea following China’s live fire exercises. “I would like to see the Prime Minister be a little bit more animated, a little bit more outraged on our behalf and making a stand for Australia,” Ms Panahi said. “That, I think, would fill people with a great deal of confidence that the Prime Minister is seeing what’s happening and he’s not OK with it, and he’s bold enough and strong enough to make that clear to the Chinese Communist Party instead of kowtowing to them endlessly.”

What precisely was Albo supposed to do? Send out a few boats to give the Chinese a little curry, and then rely on King Donald? Never mind, Monsieur Dupont had the solution ...

Our political class is clearly struggling to come to terms with this epoch-defining paradigm shift that former UK prime minister Liz Truss has dubbed the second American revolution.

The Albanese government’s response has been to keep a low profile, avoid criticising Trump directly and hope the early payment of our alliance dues in the form of a $US3bn contribution to the US submarine program will assuage Trump’s mercantilism.

But hope is a poor substitute for strategy and there is no sign that Anthony Albanese has one. This could cost Labor dearly if national security starts to play into an unhappy electorate’s concerns. The Coalition is also struggling to develop a coherent Plan B should Trump betray our faith in the alliance.

Plan B should have four major elements: more and better Australian hard power; less security reliance on the US; strengthened ties with regional neighbours, and; greater sovereign capabilities in advanced manufacturing, defence industry, cutting-edge technology and critical minerals processing. These should be bound together in a whole-of-government national security strategy fit for today’s turbulent times.

A failure to make the necessary investment all but guarantees we will be swept along by the tide of history rather than charting a steady course to our desired destination.

Alan Dupont is chief executive officer of geopolitical risk consultancy The Cognoscenti Group and a non-resident fellow at the Lowy Institute.

Plan B?

Surely we should be planning the next season? It'll  make great television ...

The reptiles then called up Major Mitchell to make sure everything was ship-shape ...

Bullying China runs roughshod over ALP bigwigs, Australia is being bullied by a great power with a GDP not much smaller than America’s, 1.4 billion people and a larger navy and army than the US.

Naturally there was a snap ... Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Defence Richard Marles. Picture: John Gass

That header was a splendid distraction ... no need to worry about a bullying America, or a bullying King Donald, when it seems that all the Chinese want to do is bully and ride roughshod over ALP bigwigs, as if the mutton Dutton, in bad need of a wig, had the answers ...

While much of the media has again been rallying around the Labor Party on the issue, it should be clear to all nonpartisan journalists that the Albanese government cannot deal with bullying by China.

This is not just about live-firing exercises in the Tasman Sea last Friday week by three Chinese naval ships – and perhaps one nuclear submarine, according to Australian Defence Force chief Admiral David Johnston.

The government says this clear attempt to demonstrate China’s power to the people of Australia and New Zealand is nothing to worry about. Just as well, given it became clear in the Senate last Tuesday that neither our military nor government knew about the live firing until a Virgin pilot alerted aviation authorities.

Foreign Minister Penny Wong told the Senate last Thursday that Opposition Leader Peter Dutton was just making political trouble with the issue. Defence Minister Richard Marles came close to speaking up for China when he said Australia also sent ships to the South China Sea.

Both were pathetic in defending the national interest. The Prime Minister was simply

his usual sloppy self, getting the entire sequence of events wrong about the live-fire warning.

Yet Albanese and Wong have claimed since 2022 that “the adults are now back in charge” of the China relationship.

Yes, don't worry about King Donald, or Faux Noise and the Emeritus Chairman, pin it all on Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. Picture: David Caird

For some bizarre reason, the Major seemed to think the answer lay in turning to simpleton Sharri and the liar from the Shire ...

Underpinning this is the idea former prime minister Scott Morrison was wrong to demand an investigation into the origins of Covid-19 in the Chinese city of Wuhan in late 2019 and early 2020.

Yet clearly Morrison was right: the US now says Covid most likely emerged in a laboratory.

Albanese and Wong have made much of the lifting of China’s bans on Australian exports of wine, lobsters and barley imposed to punish Australia over Morrison’s Covid inquiry calls.

Never mind lost revenue nationally in those industries was more than offset by soaring prices paid by China for Australian iron ore and coal.

These record iron and coal export values fed into the two accidental surpluses delivered by Treasurer Jim Chalmers in his first two budgets. The Productivity Commission did the maths on the cost of China’s sanctions and it was nine one-thousandths of a percentage point of GDP, or $225m.

Add to this the slowdown in the Chinese economy and the determination of Xi Jinping that industry move from steelmaking to higher-value production, and the economic picture here is not quite as rosy as Albanese pretends.

Even though it accounts for 40 per cent of our exports, the value of our sales to China last year actually fell more than 9 per cent to $213.7bn – “more than wiping out gains from Australian agricultural products that Beijing has allowed to return to its market”, according to this newspaper’s Will Glasgow on January 29.

Lowy Institute China specialist Richard McGregor, writing for The Australian Financial Review on January 27, asked whether the Australia-China trade relationship had already passed “peak complementarity”.

While China will remain central to our trading, McGregor said the election of Donald Trump was likely to change priorities in Beijing and Canberra as the US focused on acquiring new supplies of critical minerals, applying tariffs on China and forcing US allies to increase defence spending.

Neither side of politics here has much to be proud of in defence. We are 10 years from acquiring a nuclear submarine under our $368bn deal with the US and UK after scrapping plans under Liberal PM Tony Abbott to buy conventional subs from Japan, and then under Liberal PM Malcolm Turnbull to buy French diesel electric subs.

Whatever Morrison’s faults, he made the correct decision on AUKUS.

Um, what did Monsieur Dupont just say?

Plan B ...less security reliance on the US

The reptiles are in a complete dither of contradictions, as they tried to bolster the Major with another snap, Former Australian prime minister Scott Morrison. Picture: AFP

But isn't he just a fawning sycophant, willing to kiss the ring, and to ring in the New Year with King Donald?

Still the Major lived in hope ...

Turnbull in 2018 got China policy right on foreign interference laws and blocking Huawei from access to the Australian 5G telecommunications rollout.

All three Coalition PMs strengthened defence co-operation with the US and Japan and joined air and sea patrols to ensure freedom of navigation in the South China Sea.

Analysts have to go back to the first Rudd government and its May 2009 Defence White Paper to find a Labor leader ready to call out China’s military bullying.

That paper argued “the pace, scope and structure of China’s military modernisation have the potential to give its neighbours cause for concern”.

The best that can be said for Albanese, Wong and Marles is they have not totally bungled the alliance with the US – although they have fumbled on Israel. And they have held firm on AUKUS.

Europe, faced with statements from Trump and his Vice President, JD Vance, that the US will not act as the world’s policeman to ensure the fate of Ukraine, is in a continental pickle. Yet Europe and Ukraine face a decrepit power in Vladimir Putin’s Russia, which has a GDP not much larger than Australia’s.

Australia is being bullied by a great power with a GDP not much smaller than America’s, 1.4 billion people and a larger navy and army than the US.

Albanese brags his government has signed a peace, climate and migration plan with Tuvalu, population 10,000. It’s one pillar in the government’s courting of the South Pacific to keep China out.

Speaking of the climate, as the Major routinely does, perhaps he missed that Graudian story, Australia’s second-hottest summer in 2024-25 ‘not possible without climate change’, scientist says

Last summer was Australia’s second-hottest on a record going back to 1910, at 1.89C above the long-term average, according to data from the Bureau of Meteorology.

The second-hottest summer – coming after the second-hottest winter and the hottest spring on record – included the second-hottest January and the third-hottest December.

Only the summer of 2018/19, at 2.11C above average, was hotter.

Over the past 15 years, the data shows that only the summers of 2011 and 2001 have been cooler than the long-term average, taken from 1961 to 1990.

“Climate change is the primary ingredient for this summer’s heat,” said Dr Linden Ashcroft, a climate scientist at the University of Melbourne.

“You could not have made this hot summer cake without climate change. It will only get worse if we don’t stop burning fossil fuels.

“There is no way this could have occurred without a heating planet. Yes, this is the second hottest summer on record, but it will be one of the coolest in the 21st century.

Sorry, the pond digresses, they should just let those pesky, difficult islanders sink into the sea, play hardball with the wretches, in a Major way ...

It’s not working: in the midst of its naval exercise last week, China announced a deal with the Cook Islands for rare earth mining.

NZ Foreign Minister Winston Peters raised it in a meeting with China’s Foreign Minister Wang Yi and Vice President Han Zheng in Beijing last week. NZ and Cook Islands maintain a free association, sharing a head of state and citizenship rights.

The Cook Islands deal follows China’s pacts with Solomon Islands and PNG on police training. Australia has had to step up its rival police funding to compensate.

Albanese is also using sport diplomacy to keep Beijing at bay by offering PNG $600m over 10 years to set up an NRL club joining the Australian competition in 2028. Australia is the main source of aid to PNG, last year contributing $640m, 48 per cent of all PNG’s aid, compared with China’s 12 per cent.

Albanese should play hard ball with Pacific countries that play up concerns about climate change.

Start with the truth: some South Pacific states are rewarding China – the world’s largest emitter of carbon dioxide – while damaging longstanding relations with Australia and New Zealand, which contribute just over 1 per cent of global emissions.

Australia also needs to lobby the Trump administration about the Pacific.

In November, president Joe Biden’s then US defence secretary Lloyd Austin visited Suva and pledged $4.9m to modernise Fiji’s military. The two countries are negotiating a “status of forces agreement” on future defence co-operation.

China’s media says its naval exercise in the Tasman is the same as Australia’s conduct in the South China Sea. Our government seems to agree.

Except the Tasman is not a global sea route. Nor is Australia threatening territories in the region.

China is threatening territory and waters belonging to Japan, Thailand, The Philippines and Vietnam throughout the South China Sea. And it threatens to invade Taiwan.

Sounds like we're deeply fucked, thanks be unto Emeritus Chairman Rupert, his spawn and his minions, who so ably helped get King Donald selected to rule the world ...

On the other hand, the United States also has problems with its Cantaloupe Caligula and the man starring in a re-make of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre ...

Normally the pond would shriek at this point enough already, but wanted to place on record the confusion that's abroad, exemplified by the WSJ, seemingly unaware of the deeds and works of their kissing cousins at Faux Noise ...

Putin wins Trump-Zelensky Oval Office spectacle, US Vice President JD Vance starts a public fight that only helps Russia’s dictator. WSJ EDITORIAL BOARD

It was only a three minute read according to the reptiles, and the pond was happy to admire the face-eating ...

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky talks with US President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance in the Oval Office of the White House on Friday. Picture: Jim LoScalzo/POOL/Zuma Press

The WSJ sounded like David Brooks on PBS ... (another fine face-eating moment on YouTube) ...

Toward the end of his on-camera, Oval Office brawl with Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelensky on Friday, President Trump quipped that it was “great television.” He’s right about that. But the point of the meeting was supposed to be progress toward an honourable peace for Ukraine, and in the event the winner was Russia’s Vladimir Putin.

“He disrespected the United States of America in its cherished Oval Office,” Mr Trump wrote on social media on Friday afternoon after the exchange, while booting the Ukrainian president from the White House. “He can come back when he is ready for Peace.”

The two didn’t sign a planned agreement on minerals that would have at least given Ukraine some hope of future US support. The meeting between Messrs. Trump and Zelensky started out smoothly enough. “It’s a big commitment from the United States, and we appreciate working with you very much, and we will continue to do that,” Mr Trump said of the mineral deal. Mr Zelensky showed photos of Ukrainians mistreated as prisoners of war. “That’s tough stuff,” Mr Trump said.

The reptiles stuffed in AV distractions, U.S. President Donald Trump told reporters on Friday that Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskiy, who he clashed with at the White House earlier, did not look like a man who wanted peace.

The Board kept sounding glum, as FAFO types are wont to do ...

But then the meeting, in front of the world, descended into recriminations. The nose dive began with an odd interjection from Vice President JD Vance, who appeared to be defending Mr Trump’s diplomacy, which Mr Zelensky hadn’t challenged. Mr Zelensky rehearsed the many peace agreements Mr Putin has shredded and essentially asked Mr Vance what would be different this time.

Mr Vance unloaded on Mr Zelensky – that he was “disrespectful,” low on manpower, and gives visitors to Ukraine a “propaganda” tour. President Trump appeared piqued by Mr Zelensky’s suggestion that the outcome in Ukraine would matter to the US “Your country is in big trouble. You’re not winning,” Mr Trump said at one point.

Why did the Vice President try to provoke a public fight? Mr Vance has been taking to his X.com account in what appears to be an effort to soften up the political ground for a Ukraine surrender, most recently writing off Mr Putin’s brutal invasion as a mere ethnic rivalry. Mr Vance dressed down Mr Zelensky as if he were a child late for dinner. He claimed the Ukrainian hadn’t been grateful enough for US aid, though he has thanked America countless times for its support. This was not the behaviour of a wannabe statesman.

Mr Zelensky would have been wiser to defuse the tension by thanking the US again, and deferring to Mr Trump. There’s little benefit in trying to correct the historical record in front of Mr Trump when you’re also seeking his help.

Cue another AV distraction, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy's meeting with Donald Trump ended in disaster on Friday (February 28), after the two leaders engaged in an extraordinary shouting match before the world's media at the White House over the war with Russia.

The Board pressed on ...

But as with the war, Mr Zelensky didn’t start this Oval Office exchange. Was he supposed to tolerate an extended public denigration of the Ukrainian people, who have been fighting a war for survival for three years?

It is bewildering to see Mr Trump’s allies defending this debacle as some show of American strength. 

Bewildering? Consider the pond bewildered by the WSJ apparently not watching Faux Noise.

Yes, baby, American strength is back ...but the Board didn't seem to understand ... 

The US interest in Ukraine is shutting down Mr Putin’s imperial project of reassembling a lost Soviet empire without US soldiers ever having to fire a shot. That core interest hasn’t changed, but berating Ukraine in front of the entire world will make it harder to achieve.

Turning Ukraine over to Mr Putin would be catastrophic for that country and Europe, but it would be a political calamity for Mr Trump too. The US President can’t simply walk away from that conflict, much as he would like to. Ukraine has enough weapons support to last until sometime this summer. But as the war stands, Mr Putin sees little reason to make any concessions as his forces gain ground inch by bloody inch in Ukraine’s east.

Relax, Board, strength lies in giving it all to Vlad the Sociopathic Impaler. 

For some obscure reason, the Board didn't seem reassured, so the reptiles slipped in another AV distraction ...

The ongoing conflict in Ukraine has been a pressing concern for global leaders, with many calling for a peaceful resolution. However, according to Sky News US analyst Michael Ware, the war will only end when Russian President Vladimir Putin is ready to do so. Recently, British Prime Minister Keir Starmer met with US President Donald Trump to discuss the potential solutions to end the ongoing conflict in Ukraine. “What we saw today with the British prime minister, I think, was the repetition of the message that was brought by the French president just a few days ago and will be reiterated by the Ukrainian president tomorrow,” Mr Ware told Sky News Australia. “Prime Minister Starmer banging on and on about is, oh, thank you for creating an opportunity to begin talks for a peace deal. But the peace deal has got to be lasting. We've got to back the Ukrainians up.” While the meeting seemed to focus on the importance of a "lasting peace," Mr Ware believes that the true agenda behind the visit was to secure a US commitment to support any potential deal.

Well that was a load of tedious waffle - thank the long absent lord for the summary - as the Board  wrapped up proceedings ...

Friday’s spectacle won’t make him any more willing to stop his onslaught as he sees the US President and his eager deputy unload on Ukraine’s leader. Some Trumpologists have been suggesting Mr Trump will put pressure on Mr Putin in due time. But so far Mr Putin hasn’t made a single concession on territory, or on Ukraine’s ability to defend itself in the future after a peace deal is signed.

President Trump no doubt resents having to deal with a war he thinks he might have prevented had he won in 2020. But presidents have to deal with the world they inherit. Peace in Ukraine is salvageable, but he and Mr Zelensky will have to work together on an agreement that Ukrainians can live with.

Mr Trump does not want to be the President who abandoned Ukraine to Vladimir Putin with all the bloodshed and damage to US interests that would result. Mr Vance won’t like to run for President in such a world either.

Oh stop the play-acting and get on board. 

Once a set of supine flunkeys, cheese-eating surrender monkeys, quislings and Vichy types, always a set of craven sell-outs in pursuit of the money ... a shining example for others to imitate ...