In which "Ned" has a routine anxiety attack and Dame Slap goes to the movies...

 

Levels of lizard Oz pandering and delusion: Bush billionaires: ‘don’t say we’re rich, we’re just battlers’, Wes Maas and Roger Fletcher are collectively worth about $2bn. They also work just a few minutes apart in Dubbo where they have built lucrative firms from the ground up.

Nah, the pond will just say you're filthy bloody rich and pass on by.

Meanwhile, what's happened to the bromancer? Surely he should be on hand to praise the cessation of all armaments and intelligence to Ukraine? Did his time amongst Europeans turn him into a wimp, a pussy, a cheese-eating surrender monkey?

After all, it's top of the digital page early this morning, together with nonsense from Jemena in another wrap-up around, with the notion "renewable gas" front and centre, proving that the gaseous emanations from the reptiles might never end ...

Also featured just below the pending sell-out, a tale of more redemption for sweet, virginal Oz coal as the reptiles wept for joy, while over on the extreme far right, a certain Christopher Bowen was helping out with the Emeritus Chairman's paywall ...

Why do you do it, Christopher? Why go behind a paywall to drop your pearls of wisdom and drop shekels in the Murdochian purse?

So the resumption of the genocide, ethnic cleansing, clearing away the rubble for the Riviera Gaza didn't make the cut? 

And Vlad the sociopoathic Impalers terms and conditions passed the bro by?

Instead of the valiant bro, the pandering job was left to a lesser member of the Kelly gang and the pond was left with nattering "Ned" having his usual standard anxiety attack, and what's worse, it was, according to the reptiles, a five minute read ...

Australia faces coming conflict with Donald Trump’s ‘tech bros’, Have no doubt, when the Trump-Big Tech coalition threatens Australia, this will transcend a policy dispute; it will penetrate to principles that define our social and democratic values.

Sheesh, "Ned", where have you been these many long weeks? Everything's computer ...

Lacking the mindless wit of a meme, or a T-shirt to flog, the reptiles settled for this opening snap, “Never in US history has there been a union this deep between the most powerful companies on earth and the most powerful political leader on earth,” writes Paul Kelly.

There she blows, the usual half-baked montage, wisely uncredited, as "Ned" opened his paranoia door, flourished his cape, prepped his anxiety tour, and stepped grandly into the fray, armed with his portentous pomposity ...

Beyond trade, Australia faces an impending conflict with the Trump administration in the alliance between Donald Trump and Big Tech – conceivably the most malevolent coalition in the annals of Western democracy – that will determine whether our sovereign rights can be crushed.
Two immediate issues at stake are the Australian law passed late in 2024 to restrict social media access for children under 16 years – a world-first legislative step – and the Albanese government support for a news bargaining incentive law to drive Big Tech digital platforms into paying publishers for the use of their news content.
The Trump administration has put foreign governments and Australia on notice. Signifying an alliance of unprecedented mutual self-interest between Trump and Big Tech, the Trump presidential memorandum of February 21 to senior cabinet figures seeks by “imposing tariffs and taking such other responsive actions” to retaliate against a foreign government that “through its tax or regulatory structure” imposes “a fine, penalty, tax or other burden” that harms American companies.
Both the abovementioned Australian policies fall easily into these categories. And the idea that Trump or Elon Musk will give Australia an exemption can be dismissed. This is a sweeping protectionist dictum from Trump to quarantine from accountability the richest companies on earth by preventing foreign governments from upholding their sovereign rights.

The pond again wondered where "Ned" had been in recent times, as the reptiles tried to conjure up the spectre of Uncle Leon, Elon Musk (R) jumps on stage as he joins Donald Trump (L) during a campaign rally at the site of the former President's first assassination attempt, in Butler, Pennsylvania.

Cavorting about like a ketamine-fuelled ten year old in an inflatable jumping castle? 

Far too kind ... but the reptiles never dare to go there ...

"Ned" looked at the falling sky, ran about like Chicken Little and clucked loudly ...

Australia is mentioned in the February 21 memo. It becomes a target because of what it does and what it believes.
Have no doubt, when the Trump-Big Tech coalition threatens Australia, this will transcend a policy dispute; it will penetrate to principles that define our social and democratic values.
The ban on young people having access to social media was passed on a bipartisan basis. The idea, first proposed by Peter Dutton, was embraced by the Albanese government with Anthony Albanese saying: “Social media is doing harm to our kids. I’m calling time on it.”
The legislation was contentious, opposed by crossbenchers, attacked for its alleged unworkability, but it is widely popular with parents.
It was influenced by American social psychologist, Jonathan Haidt, whose recent book The Anxious Generation argued there had been “a rewiring of childhood” by social media companies that had transformed our society and that allowing open access was “the biggest blunder we have ever made” in raising children.
The law comes into force only 12 months after its passage with social media companies liable for fines up to $50m for failing to take reasonable steps to keep children under 16 off their platforms.
Musk attacked Australia’s initiative last November saying: “Seems like a backdoor way to control access to the internet by all Australians.”
Musk has Australia in his sights. With several countries assessing similar laws, Big Tech companies have a vested interest in neutralising Australia’s actions.

Musk has his sights on Australia? Uncle Leon has his sights on everything ...

Sorry, instead of chainsaw man, the reptiles slipped in a tediously unexciting snap of Jonathan Haidt

"Ned" stayed in catch-up mode and even managed to mention Zuck the fawning cuck ...

Labor’s news bargaining incentive is the follow-up to former treasurer Josh Frydenberg’s news media bargaining code, implemented with Labor support, to ensure Big Tech paid media companies (such as News Corp, publisher of The Australian) for use of their news content.
During that showdown, Facebook, now rebranded as Meta, at one point blocked all news and government public service information from its platform seeking to break Australia’s and the government’s will. It failed. Since then Meta said it would not renew the existing 2021 deal with publishers, prompting former Australian Competition & Consumer Commission chairman Rod Sims, to say this was “as arrogant as it is damaging to Australia”.
Labor has produced a variation on the earlier code in the form of a de facto levy on digital platforms; those that renew deals with publishers won’t have to pay but those that refuse will face the levy. Communications Minister Michelle Rowland has announced Labor’s decision and says it will consult with stakeholders on the final design. Both the Coalition and Greens have criticised Labor for its delay – and Meta has signalled its campaign of resistance against Australia.
The foundation for Big Tech’s policy alliance with Trump was foreshadowed earlier this year by Meta boss Mark Zuckerberg when, calling on Trump to intervene against EU moves to impose accountability on Big Tech, he said the EU moves were “almost like a tariff”.
This was a brilliant branding. It signals one of the potentially greatest bids for protection in commercial history. Given that Trump loves tariffs, the tactic is to extend the concept of protecting American industrial production to protecting the Big Tech companies, their profits and their “masters of the universe” titans, the world’s richest men, with Musk conveniently located at Trump’s right hand.

The reptiles added to "Ned's" paranoia with a snap featuring, Guests including Mark Zuckerberg, Lauren Sanchez, Jeff Bezos, Sundar Pichai and Elon Musk attend the Inauguration of Donald J. Trump.

Is there an upside to all this? Well at least "Ned" and the rest of the reptile pack can avoid dealing with current brain farts and thought bubbles ...

Back with "Ned", lathering himself into a frenzy of fear ...

Never in US history has there been a union this deep between the most powerful companies on earth and the most powerful political leader on earth. Of course, if you are fool enough you might still hope or even believe that Trump’s presidency is about the ordinary American!
This follows an epic strategic rethink by the Big Tech titans. They decided that only the US President was able to protect them against the laws being proposed by other nations, notably the EU, in their sovereign interests. Hence much of Silicon Valley ditched its left-wing, progressive faiths and crossed the Rubicon in the 2024 election to link with Trump. The goal was to obtain an insurance policy to guarantee and expand their techno-command. So the 2024 election was a combined victory for Trump, JD Vance and Musk, with Musk reportedly donating more than $US200m to the campaign.
Musk’s quest is to rewrite capitalism along with the media. After the election, Musk told his followers on X: “You are the media now.” Musk is under assault from foreign governments on multiple fronts; his tactic is to bond with Trump, offer him invaluable domestic support and recruit the power of the US government to hold the EU and other governments – think Australia – at bay.
Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos have come aboard. The fuse is now lit with Trump’s February 21 instruction to agency heads that tariffs and other actions be taken in retaliation against “regulations imposed on United States companies by foreign governments that could inhibit the growth or intended operation of United States companies”.

Really? This has been going on for weeks. Just this morning Oz time Bill Kristol rehearsed the history at The Bulwark in Authoritarianism is Winning...

...right after the election Trump went after Big Tech. In a recent interview with Sharyl Attkisson, as Brian Stelter noted yesterday in his newsletter, Trump said that he didn’t think the media had [yet?] changed in his second term. “But what has changed is I think Facebook and Google and a lot of them have become, I think . . .” Trump didn’t finish his sentence, as Stelter noted. “[But] he clearly senses that Big Tech has tried to warm up to him this time.” And Trump then “invoked Jeff Bezos without any prompting: ‘I’ve gotten to know him, and I think he’s trying to do a real job. Jeff Bezos is trying to do a real job with the Washington Post, and that wasn’t happening before.’”
Trump believes the early intimidation of Big Tech has paid off. Intimidation works.
So Trump and his administration have moved ahead with an intimidation agenda in other areas. The attempt to bully Big Law took another step forward with yesterday’s announcement of the investigation of twenty major law firms for their past use of DEI policies. The legal basis of these investigations is unclear. But Trump and his enforcers believe the earlier attack on a couple of firms, which included revoking their lawyers’ security clearances and threatening their ability to meet with federal officials, is having a chilling effect.
Indeed it’s clear that other law firms haven’t been eager to leap to the defense of their peers. I’m told that Trump associates have been making clear to lawyers at various firms that it wouldn’t be in their interest to speak up in defense of the law firms under attack, to join an amicus brief on the firms’ behalf, or generally rally to their defense.
Here too, intimidation seems to be working.
“Every firm is scared to sign on [to the amicus brief],” one top lawyer told The Bulwark. “The fear factor is winning. We are in a crisis here.”
Much the same could be said about the assault on the universities. The Trump administration has announced a cutoff of $400 million dollars of federal funding to Columbia, including to its medical school and hospital system. It’s unclear that the government has the legal authority to do this. But Columbia’s peers haven’t risen in loud protest. Here too, intimidation seems to be working.
The authoritarian takeover is happening right here and now—in America, in 2025. Trumpists believe not just in an authoritarian government but in an authoritarian society. They’re acting on that belief. And they must be pleasantly surprised by the lack of resistance they’re encountering.

Where was "Ned" when it mattered? Is he belatedly having a Khalil moment,  is this his First They Came for Columbia moment?

Or is this just an idle squawk because News Corp and Faux Noise don't feature in these logos ... and because up against the chainsaw man, Chairman Rupert is a minnow ...Social media companies could be forced to pay for Australian news content under a news media bargaining code. The new proposal is expected to be announced by the prime minister today. According to The Age, platforms such as Facebook could be fined for refusing to agree to content deals.

The reptiles are quoting The Age? Is that a story as ancient as the one that ran back in December last year, Australia fights back against Zuckerberg with social media penalty fees ... (soft paywall)

Last December! That such a thing should be ... but perhaps old fears are better for "Ned" than new fears ...

And so to a final gobbet, which the pond couldn't resist interrupting ...

The scope is virtually unlimited in terms of the justification for retaliatory action. Brookings Institution visiting fellow and former chairman of the US Federal Communications Commission Tom Wheeler said the groundwork was laid by Zuckerberg’s interview with podcaster Joe Rogan, saying “the US government should be defending its companies”.
Think about that. Anyone who hopes Australia can avoid a showdown should read the February 21 memorandum. It says: “American businesses will no longer prop up failed foreign companies through extortive fines and taxes.” In short, by branding an array of foreign government regulations as equivalent to tariffs, Trump offers a justification for his use of tariffs in retaliation.

Think about that. Think about the role that Faux Noise played in all this. Think about "Ned's" convenient, constant amnesia. And now he's having a FAFO moment?

Wheeler says while the usual aim of tariffs is to protect domestic production, Trump has a different aim – to target foreign regulatory action precisely because this increases costs for Big Tech, thereby “cutting into their profit margins”.
Here’s the story – the tech titans as victims. Only in Trump’s America.

Correction. "Only in Faux Noise's America", one longingly yearned for and devoutly wished, but now consummated? Swim with the tide, and pray ...

In his memo Trump said the value of the US-digital economy was bigger than the “entire economy of Australia, Canada or most members of the EU”, but instead of empowering their own workers foreign governments were “appropriating revenues that should contribute to our Nation’s wellbeing, not theirs”.
Australia’s proposals aren’t significant in terms of the money involved but they are vital in terms of the principles enunciated. The action will come after the May federal election when the implementation phase begins.
Will Australia lose its nerve? Albanese and Dutton are aligned together on both issues. Yet the social media ban and news incentive policy are both novel – and have their critics.

"Ned" already seems to have lost his nerve as the new reality bites ...

Meanwhile, the infallible Pope has returned to add to "Ned's" fears with a ripper tyke reference worthy of a movie...

The sight of the MAGA Inquisition reminded the pond that it had indulged Major Mitchell, rambling down the 19th hole talking about golf, so why not indulge Dame Slap turning movie critic? 

Hollywood still doesn’t get the MAGA ‘vibe shift’ — just look at Conclave, Conclave makes no effort to engage with conservative thinking. Hollywood is today so immersed in liberal shibboleths that it is unable to characterise those views it disagrees with in a nuanced or sophisticated way.

There are spoiler alerts involved: Dame Slap gives away the plot, but even more alarmingly, gives away her mind set, and what an exotic festering garbage dump that is ...

It must be weird to be in a cult, whether that of the Catholic church or that of the Cantaloupe Caligula, and somehow Dame Slap manages to conflate the two into a culture war, but that's what you must expect of a woman who donned a MAGA cap and strode out into the New York night to celebrate the arrival of the mango Mussolini...

The reptiles began with a snap, Ralph Fiennes playing Cardinal Lawrence in Conclave.

Dame Slap began with her spoiler alert, but if you want to know the bizarre way Dame Slap thinks, keep reading ...

Spoiler alert. If you don’t want to know the twist at the end of the recent movie Conclave, stop reading. To be honest, it’s not much of a surprise – it was one of a couple of hackneyed endings that liberal Hollywood was always going to choose for a movie about the Catholic Church. But I did need to warn you.
Beyond the finale, there is little that could not have been foreseen about Conclave if one had thought about it in advance. This is a movie where, to borrow from a friend, no stereo is left untyped.
I’m not Catholic, or even religious, so I have no dog in this fight. But I am a sucker for high Roman pomp and ceremony, and a good costume drama filmed in the heart of the Vatican was always going to see me shelling out $29.95 to buy it on Apple.

I wish I had rented it and saved a fiver.

What a shocking revelation. Nah, not that Dame Slap is filthy rich and stupid enough to fork out $29.95, that just goes with the stupid turf, and stupid is as stupid does, thinking movies are a box of chocolates.

What's a real shock is to discover that Hollywood movies still stick to the three act/denouement structure, as familiar and comforting as an ancient pair of slippers... who'd have thunk it, who'd have discovered it, until Dame Slap turned flick critic ...

At this moment, the reptiles helped out with an AV distraction ... the trailer for the show, Conclave is indeed visually sumptuous, and Ralph Fiennes is nearly always worth watching – although his blubbering in his role as the saintly liberal Cardinal Lawrence after losing faith in the Church at a key point in the movie was not his finest work. Stanley Tucci, as Cardinal Bellini, tells him to get real.

Inevitably the MAGA cap wearer managed to drag the orange authoritarian into her yarn ...

The accidental redeeming feature of Conclave is that without wishing or intending to do so, the movie helps explain the triumph of Donald Trump. To understand this, a few more spoilers are necessary. In most respects however, the movie serves simply as yet more evidence that Hollywood has completely lost its way.
As is well known, the movie tracks the process and people involved in electing a new Pope after the sudden death of the incumbent. The saintly liberal Cardinal Lawrence, played by Fiennes, presides over the election process as Dean of the College of Cardinals. Part political convention, part medieval history lesson and part spectacular history of Vatican artworks, the Conclave locks a hundred or so Cardinals inside the walls of papal Rome conducting serial secret ballots until they elect a new Pope. Watching the factions at work, whispering in corridors, plotting, conniving, was like watching Canberra at its worst.

Canberra at its worst? Such a parochial comparison, and what a missed opportunity. 

Back in her hey day, Dame Slap would have scribbled that it was like it was watching the faceless men of the Labor party at their worst ... but the old Dame isn't what she used to be ... and perhaps that's why the reptiles offered a few more distractions, Peter Straughan poses in the press room with the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay for Conclave, Stanley Tucci

On Dame Slap rambled with her spoilers ...

And Lawrence is up to the task. Among his other attributes he does a fine Hercule Poirot, sans moustache, breaking into the dead pontiff’s bedroom and finding, secreted in a concealed bedhead, evidence that exposes one leading contender, Cardinal Tremblay, as having paid a few fellow cardinals in advance for their vote.
It turns out said Tremblay is no ordinary baddie but has political dirt-file skills Richard Nixon might have admired, having arranged for one of his chief opponents, the black arch conservative Cardinal Adeyemi, to be exposed, mid-Conclave, as a predator upon young girls.
The politics are equally predictable. Tucci, now mostly famous for his at-home-with-Stanley Italian cooking Insta­grams, is aptly named after an Italian aperitif. It was as if Tucci had slipped out of his kitchen to don a scarlet biretta and cape to play himself. Hip woke guy plays hip woke Cardinal Bellini. Had he ventured into the dark unknown, and played a conservative cardinal, that may have been worth watching.
The progressives, led by Lawrence and Bellini, think Chris Pyne and Simon Birmingham, caucus regularly to try to block their conservative nemesis, Cardinal Tedesco. Tedesco is flamboyantly villainous, all bushy eyebrows, wild hair, and extravagant stage whispers. It’s no surprise he thinks the Church has gone to the dogs ever since it abandoned the Latin Mass. The only surprise is that the director didn’t clothe him in a black hat and cape and play melodramatic organ music when he enters any scene.
Cardinal Adeyemi is even more horrendously conservative with views on homosexuality quite common among his African colleagues but he’s seen as very non-PC among First World ­cardinals.

That's hardly news: African bishops: 'No blessing for homosexual couples in the African churches', or African Catholic Bishops Reject Vatican's Same-Sex Blessings...

The Catholic church has always embraced bigotry and been adept at shaping its brand according to the market it's in ...

Dame Slap seems to have trouble understanding all this, with the reptiles helping out the movie's publicity department by slipping in another YouTube link, Despite his conservatism, Adeyemi is the leading candidate in early rounds of voting, accepted even by the liberal Cardinals.

Dame Slap kept on missing the point ...

On their intersectionality graph, it’s OK to oppress gays if you’re black.
But there are limits: his race comes to a crashing end when his sexual misconduct is exposed. Membership of an oppressed race apparently is not enough to excuse sexual predation.

Well yes, it's just another plot line,  and she should be grateful, because at least it's a way for her to avoid current thought bubbles and brain farts ...

On with the one-eyed film reviewer ...

The conservatives start to shift their votes to the Tridentine Mass-loving Tedesco. And he looked like being the next Pope until a sudden shock of violence prepares us for the denouement. The assembled Cardinals are showered with fragments as the windows of the Sistine Chapel are blown out by a bomb planted as part of Europe-wide plot by Islamist terrorists. Or is it God raining down on this radiance of egos?
As the Cardinals recover, enlightenment dawns. Sun streams in through the shattered stained-glass windows and lights up Michelangelo’s famous fresco The Creation of Adam. We await God’s basso profondo voting instruction to the Cardinals, but this is mercifully a stereotype too far even for today’s Hollywood.
Instead, they opted for another predictable plot point. The explosion uncovers the Islam-hating conservative within the Conclave.
And Tedesco doesn’t disappoint. He uses the Islamic threat to call for religious war, apparently believing this will be a vote winner. Through the middle of the voting pack comes the person of the hour: Cardinal Benitez, a Mexican whose appointment to the College of Cardinals had to be kept secret because he served in dangerous places, ending up in Afghanistan. The Archbishop of Kabul appeals to the Cardinals’ better angels and calms the call for religious war. Despite mutters about his unknown “health condition”, they immediately recognise godliness among them and elect him Pope.
The straw is just being shovelled into the incinerator to produce the famous white smoke heralding a successful election when the final denouement is revealed. The new Pope is intersex – and is duly named Innocentius to signify a pureness of heart.
Where does one start? Every art form has its limitations and film is no different. Restrictions of time and plot mean that even the best films can’t fully develop every nuance of every character. Some level of simplification – even over-simplification – is inevitable.

She can type that again: Some level of mindlessly moronic simplification – even fatuously foppish over-simplification – is inevitable in any Dame Slap column.

And at that point the reptiles introduced the mango Mussolini by way of snap, President Donald Trump speaks at an evening rally in Uniondale on Long Island.

Forget the Freudian red tie, forget "Ned's" saucy doubts and fears, it's time for a MAGA cap wearer's take on the whole damned thing ...

However, where today’s movies fall back on myth and stereotype is usually revealing. Conclave makes no effort to engage with conservative thinking. Hollywood is today so immersed in liberal shibboleths that it is unable to characterise those views it disagrees with in a nuanced or sophisticated way. It is simply unable to present conservatives except as papier-mache models devoid of substance. Like Tedesco, all conservatives are cardboard cut-outs of evil. They serve no purpose except as hate figures for progressives.
When you understand this, you can make sense of why the US elected Donald Trump. Even if you approve of much of Trump’s creative destruction – though the results are not yet in – any rational person must admit big chunks of it are risky and some of it apparently just dumb. Even died in the wool conservatives often long for the more predictable and traditional conservatism of Reagan and Bush #1. How then did the US end up with Trump?

Ah, at last a chance for Dame Slap to do a penetrating exposé of the role Faux Noise played in helping the mango Mussolini this time around ...

Nah, sorry, it's just the usual "blame the libs" guff ...

At least a partial answer is to be found in the rapidly increasing radicalisation of US progressives, as evidenced in its intellectual and artistic leaders – like Hollywood. Sensible centre-left Democrats like Bill Clinton (“it’s the economy, stupid”) were sidelined by people increasingly unable to engage with conservative thought. Hillary Clinton’s legendary “deplorables” comment not only probably won the 2016 election for Trump but illustrated what the Democrats actually thought of those who didn’t agree with them. As the Democrats pushed left, the Republicans pushed right. Trump is radical in many ways but is no more than an equal and opposite antidote to what was on offer from the other side of politics.

In all that, it's possible to sense that Dame Slap is attempting a little walkback from her MAGA-cap wearing days ...

...even if you approve of much of Trump’s creative destruction – though the results are not yet in – any rational person must admit big chunks of it are risky and some of it apparently just dumb. Even died in the wool conservatives often long for the more predictable and traditional conservatism of Reagan and Bush #1. How then did the US end up with Trump?

How? Because stupid lizard Oz columnists danced in the street with joy, alongside other members of the cult of the mango clown ...

It's way past time for FAFO buyer's remorse. That chance was lost way back in 2017 ...

Now we're expected to believe the likes of lickspittle fellow travelling, trans bashing, Charlie and Steve indulging Gavin Newsom or feeble-minded, feather-brained gormless Chuck Schumer are the way forward? They're just fodder for TV comedians ...

Even more bizarrely, Dame Slap seems to think that Hollywood might provide a puff of white smoke ...

Hollywood could be the canary in the coal mine. When Hollywood gets tired of stereotypes where left = good and right = bad, we may have a sign the paradigm has shifted. That could be when the Democrats repossess the White House.

It's possible to dream up a scenario, a Hollywood script if you like, wherein a tired hack in Germany's 1930s furiously scribbles "when UFA gets tired of stereotypes where left = good and Herr Hitler = bad, we may see a sign that the paradigm has shifted. That could be when the Weimar Republic returns ..."

As for the movie, the pond enjoyed it. The plotting was creaky, but the whole point of an exercise like this is the opportunity to put hams on parade, and there was wall to wall pork through out. When watching a show like this, you need to park your atheism at the door, and shove thoughts of the mango Mussolini out of sight. Otherwise you might end up thinking The Exorcism is a guide to what should happen in US politics as opposed to being a nifty head-turner ...

And so to end with the immortal Rowe of the day,  with "renewable" gas returning for another sighting ...

It's always in the details and the pond was wondering which was the best caricature. Some might like this one...

... but the pond thought the demonic slant and slavering moosh made this one the hands-down winner ...