In which the pond misses a groaning and has to call on Mein Gott, and mein gott, there's also the bromancer...

 

Devastated yet again. 

The pond had steeled itself for a serve of Dame Groan, groaning away about the budget and how we'll all be rooned, but early in the morning there was no sign of the groaning ... and it was left to others to explain how we'd all be rooned ...

There was also no sign of the trial of the century or Michael Cohen. The Graudian might be doing it live, but the reptiles prefer to stay deep in the catacombs, or if you will, the hive mind...

There was Tom proudly occupying the far right space and the AJN dominating the centre space - never mind the genocide - but one item did intrigue, as the pond slipped down the page ...

The pond read it and decided that yet again the reptiles had missed the best of the yarn ... if you read the Graudian version, there was a great pay off ...

In August 2023 the ACT chief minister, Andrew Barr, accused Sofronoff of breaching “good faith” obligations after the former Queensland judge leaked his own report to an ABC journalist and The Australian newspaper columnist, Janet Albrechtsen. The report was given under an agreement the outlets would not publish until Barr officially released it.
The Australian published a story about Sofronoff’s findings ahead of its public release but denied breaching any embargo. It said it would “not reveal” its sources.
The integrity commission specified its investigation would look at whether Sofronoff’s decision to prematurely hand the final report to two journalists was a breach of the requirements of the Inquiries Act 1991 and if it constituted corrupt conduct under the Integrity Commission Act 2018...
...At the time, Barr said Sofronoff had explained he believed it was “possible to identify journalists who are ethical” and that he judged neither of the pair would “take the serious step of betraying his trust by behaving unprofessionally”.

Dame Slap? The lizard Oz? Ethical journalism? 

The pond doesn't need any inquiry to realise that Sofronoff is either a knave or a fool, or perhaps both ...

While doing housekeeping the pond should apologise for not noting Penni Russon's piece in The Conversation, Gender Queer was the last book an Australian council tried to ban. It’s still being appealed in federal court.

It would have been relevant yesterday, but the magic reptile land above the faraway tree has moved on.

Outside reptile la la land, the pond is slow in its reading and slow to catch up, but it really must record Amanda Yen recording Miss Lindsey explaining why Benji's mob should nuke Gaza, just to get the job done... (possible Beast paywall).

“So when we were faced with destruction as a nation after Pearl Harbor, fighting the Germans and the Japanese, we decided to end the war by bombing Hiroshima, Nagasaki, with nuclear weapons,” Graham began.
The senator continued to call the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki “the right decision” by the U.S. That decision ended the war with Japan, but killed hundreds of thousands of Japanese civilians between the initial blasts and the deadly radiation that followed.
“Give Israel the bombs they need to end the war they can’t afford to lose, and work with them to minimize casualties,” Graham insisted.
It was unclear how he believed the U.S. and Israel could work to “minimize casualties,” since bombs tend not to discriminate between civilians and militants upon detonation.
Graham’s comments were so extreme that even Welker was taken aback, unsuccessfully attempting to interject as the senator talked over her.
“Can I say this?” Graham continued. “Why is it okay for America to drop two nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki to end their existential threat war? Why is it okay for us to do that? I thought it was okay.”
Of course, the presumption that the U.S. was justified in nuking Japan to end World War II has been contested by historians and other critics for decades. Those bombs also decimated nearly all of Hiroshima’s and Nagasaki’s medical infrastructures, making it nearly impossible to deliver aid to the injured and dying, according to the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons.
Graham’s comments came as Israel appears poised to launch a full-scale invasion of Rafah, which the U.N. and the Biden administration have warned would be catastrophic for the 1.4 million people sheltering there. On Sunday, as Graham went on national television to suggest incinerating Gaza, the U.N. secretary general pleaded once more to prevent the area from spiraling into all-out devastation.

You won't read that sort of marvellous logic in the lizard Oz ... and instead there was a disappointing mob clustered below the fold ...

Deprived of a damned good Groaning, the pond knew what must be done. 

The pond simply had to make a gesture towards budget day, and ancient Troy and the bouffant one and the lizard Oz editorialist wouldn't cut it ...

Nor would nattering "Ned", as the pond breathed a silent prayer of relief that he'd been turned into a podcast ...

No need to go there, but it left the pond with a dilemma. If the portentous pompous bore had been reduced to a podcast, Dame Groan was likely to be venting her spleen on the morrow, what on earth to do?

So the pond does what it always does in a crisis ... reached for a serve of Mein Gott hysteria. Sure, it was a day old, and a little stale, but you need someone to cry out for the rich, and a dot form bulletin is almost as good as a listicle or a PowerPoint presentation ...

Indeed, indeed, the pond is furious that its super balance is only three squillion, and so was vastly relieved that Mein Gott was on hand to take up the cause ...

Say what? He's just regurgitating his readers, and they're furious at Jimbo, and does flinging together a column get any easier.

There was even a shot of the mark of the beast to serve as a punctuation mark in the dot point ramblings ...

Well it'll have to do as a reason for a break, and it's a good excuse to slip in the infallible Pope of the day ...

Then it was on with a final gobbet of Mein Gott reader rage ...

Mein Gott,  what a humdinger ending. Never mind the slackness of Mein Gott doing dot points, mourn at the suffering of a hundred mill in super ...

Oh the injustice and the indignity of it all, the inhuman suffering ... and Mein Gott, what an excuse to slip in the Rowe of the day, still haunted by dragons ...

And that concludes the pond's budget coverage, but there should be a bonus, and who better, what better, than the bromancer celebrating SloMo?

It's passing strange that the launch wasn't done at Hillsong, but never mind, this is a gripping read about a gripping read ...

The pond should note that to introduce some gravitas as well as thugby league into the proceedings, the reptiles slipped in  a clip, and a snap of Alfred Deakin, and bizarrely former Chairman Rudd with the axis of weevils man ...

Sing along ... it's an old ditty, but a good one ...bomb, bomb, bomb Iraq ... and eventually they'll blame the gays.

Of course the snap of Deakin would have come dirt cheap, as would that snap of Chairman Rudd bonding with the axis of weevils man ...

Meanwhile, the bromancer was besotted, and having a whale of a time ....

The pond was almost tempted to believe there was a god, even if She has been long absent, because the pond missed the whole affair, thanks be unto Her, though it did have a great laugh thanks to the bromancer's comedy stylings ... "Nonetheless, in the attempt, its achievement is remarkable."

Could there be a better, more succinct explanation of why the tome is a total waste of space?

Not content with that remarkable summary, which in its attempt to convey the flavour of the book, is a remarkable achievement, or at least a remarkable attempt at an achievement, the bromancer carried on regardless ...

Yep, the pond isn't sure it would even bother to pick it up for free at the local street library, where it's sure to land, when some Xian loon from the deep west drops it off as a way of converting Newtonians to the faith ...

As for that entire par dressed up as a link, something always truly, deeply weird happens when the pond clicks on a reptile link.

Instead of some information about Deakin, this is what popped up ... evidence of the liar from the Shire in top form ...

It carried on, with the liar from the Shire protesting that he wasn't a liar, but wait, there's more ... and if you like, you can get a Robodebt serve along with with the pieties ... the bullshit and the knavish lying come easy and cheap ...

That's the Xian thingie in a nutshell ... 

The royal commission report found Mr Morrison allowed cabinet to be misled, provided untrue evidence and pressured departmental officials over the scheme.

Meanwhile, on with the spiritual insights of a notorious liar ...

The pond regrets that in all this a family were dragged into the affair ... and so downsized the snap to minimise the pain ...

What joy for an atheist that there's no bothersome business of having to forgive ... not even the humbug way that the bromancer drags in others to spruce up a notorious liar and egotistical, narcissist humbug, dancing with imaginary friends ...

At the very least the pond could repress the nausea by ending with a helpful Wilcox green guide ...

Oh dear ... more nausea ...