The pond was all set for an awesome display of the awesome trinkets the reptiles had purchased to celebrate invasion day ...
Forget the gloomy carry-on of the Graudian mob ...
This was going to be a bloody festive day ... and the pond intuitively, in its patriotic bones, just knew that the tree killer edition would be full of celebratory ephemera ...
Say what? That's it? A tabloid snap and endless blather about taxes? Not a hint of glitter or sparkle? Just the usual carry on done in the usual blinkered style?
Sure, it was worth a cartoon ...
But all the same the pond had expected just a little reptile excitement, and yet then the pond turned to the digital edition and it was just the same ... with some anonymous loon perched in the far right spot carrying on as reptile far right loons are wont to do ...
Sure the frenzy was worth another cartoon ...
But the pond was really looking for some Oz day excitement, some sense of manly reptile style ...
Luckily Killer was on hand to provide the perfect solution ... on Australia Day, what better thing to do than become America ...
Sadly Killer's idea of turning Australia into America licketty-split only lasted another gobbet ...
As for the United States? The pond isn't sure it's a role model ...
What else? Down below the fold, the gloom continued with Tom talking darkly of fiscal thieves in the night, when as bold as brass, the thief himself was there in stark daylight, boasting about his deed, and helping shore up the lizard Oz paywall and its failing business model ...
There was nothing for it but to share our Henry's deep gloom, not to mention the usual bigotry and claptrap humbug portentous references ...
...Kangaroo’s face had gone like an angry wax mask...he seemed to be thinking hard...at last he lifted his head and looked at Somers... “I am sorry to have made a mistake in you...the best thing you can do is to leave Australia. I don’t think you can do me any serious damage...I would ask you - before I warn you – not to try”...He had become hideous...a long yellowish face and black eyes close together...He stood up in a kind of horror in front of the great, close-eyed, horrible thing that was now Kangaroo...A great Thing, a horror...as he went out the door...his heart melted in horror lest the Thing should lurch forward and clutch him...Kangaroo had followed, slowly, awfully, behind, like a madman...The huge figure, the white face with two eyes close together, like a spider, approaching with awful stillness...If the stillness suddenly broke, and he struck out! “Goodnight!” said Somers, at the blind, horrible-looking face...he was thankful for the streets, for the people...dark, streaming people. And fear. One could feel such fear, in Australia.
The hole in the bucket man needs to relax and remember his British heritage ...
Pity that one star sort of ruined things, but the pond supposes it's a celebration of Killer's celebration of the lone star state ...
Meanwhile, a few grievous exceptions hadn't slowed our Henry down ...
As for the rest, could the pond humbly suggest an even better way for our Henry to irritate the shit out of his neighbours and readers?
Well it's going to be a long party, so the pond doesn't have the time to discuss the doddering old bigot in detail, it must quickly move on to a serve of cackling Claire ...
Never mind, on with the bonus, and no doubt some were thinking the pond might be going to have a chortle about the nuking of Britain, what with Sorry, France, you’re on the hook at Hinkley Point.
There were delicious lines, not limited to Back in 2016, the plant was meant to cost £18bn; the latest estimate is up to £35bn in equivalent terms and more like £46bn in today’s money. Vraiment, Piquemal was right.
Merde, talk about nuking Britain and nuking the French in the process ... but no, the pond has developed a taste of late for Mein Gott, and was distraught that the latest offering had slipped through the system, so here it is, a little late, but still in time for Oz day ...
Um, isn't that a hund with deer antlers and Xmas bells? Is it some deeply ironic attempt to drag the war on Xmas into the war on Oz day, and who knows, even the war on Ēostre.
And that's the pond's Oz day done and dusted, and now to pack away the trinkets, might get another year out of them, except for the temporary tatts, they'll wash off in the shower, and what better way for the closing ceremony to end than with an immortal Rowe ...
As always it's in the detail, and this will be a lasting memory for the pond ...
And let us not forget that in his early days Peter Finch, amid the philandering and the wandering, was an Australian icon, and so knew how to play a reptile or a spud in best Killer style ...
The Lehmann: "Australia's greatness does not stem from being colonised by the British, a fate shared by many other nations including the US, Canada, and many others." Oh yeah ? Just who are these "many others" then: India perhaps, Kenya maybe ? Sri Lanka ? All of which have acquired 'greatness' by having been 'colonised' by Britain, haven't they.
ReplyDeleteOoh, too quick, here she is again: "As Argentina's Javier Milei recently told the World Economic Forum ...". Yeah everybody just wants to hear from Javier, don't they:
ReplyDeleteArgentinians stage nationwide strike against Javier Milei’s far-right agenda
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/jan/24/argentina-strike-protest-javier-milei
Just the chap we should all be listening too, yes ?
Killer: "Exactly the same arguments apply,"
ReplyDeleteWell, they're black, aren't they?
I suspect that what Creighton sees as 'tired self-loathing' about Australia Day is either a continuation of traditional Australian 'not-giving-a-shit' about it, or its revival after a brief post-1988 period of brainless Yankee-inspired pseudo-nationalism.
ReplyDeleteThere's a certain degree of 'Aussieism' in the thing about: "don't make a bloody fuss about it, just get on with it" which a lot of people seem to completely misinterpret as "not-giving-a-shit about it" or some such bullshat.
DeleteAnd the irony of an expatriate calling for greater Australian jingoism.
ReplyDeleteThey're mostly the ones who do, Anony. Of the Australians I know, most aren't in any tearing hurry to die for Spud Dutt's idea of 'patriotism'.
DeleteHistory Lesson 101 for Killer: The American Indian tribes were the Indigenous people of America, not African-Americans, so the comparison with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples is weak. Does America have a day to mark the dispossession of the American Indians?
ReplyDeleteFunny, but despite all the patriotic flag waving, a lot of Americans don’t bother to vote.
The Mocker might reflect upon the factions in the reptiles and how the reptiles need to massage the message to maintain subscriptions.
Faction 1, coconut: Ergas lamenting Australia going down the plug-hole of intolerance.
Faction 2, cackling: Lehman lauding our compulsory voting system and how tolerant we are.
Faction 3, americana: Killer offering a star spangled banner vision of Australia as a form of cohesion. Heck, the Americans are so cohesive, they all carry guns out of fear of their fellow Americans.
And finally,
Faction 4, dribble: what is Gottliebsen on about? Corporations have lost touch with the voters? Well the goal of business is not re-election to politics – especially of the reptile kind. Woolies has not lost touch with the fundamental commercial aspect of its operations. The ABC understands that the reptiles see it as competition and will always treat it as garbage and will never be happy unless it is a part of the Murdoch empire.
I must say the summer hols with the pond is proving enjoyable.
The pond is glad someone is enjoying it because the pond was incredibly disappointed in the reptile response. They really should all have been running about in cheap trinkets and geegaws to show their defiant stand against Woollies and to support heroic Captain Spud, but they squibbed it. What a pathetic bunch of wussy wooses, leaving it to the pond to do the hard yards for them... though the pond does share your interest in Mein Gott having gone weirdly off the rails of late. He could well be on his way to being a reliable reptile celebrity at the pond ...
DeleteSadly the pond has no interest in The Mocker. The reptiles spent years telling the pond that anonymous contributions were completely and utterly unacceptable, and then turned around and started doing it, apparently unaware that it's been routine since Regency days gossip rags ...there's only so much irony overload that anyone can stand, and that must be reserved for Uncle Elon using Twitter to prevent the Holocaust, in much the same way that X has halted the current genocide in Gaza ...
Yair, possibly our greatest contribution was secret-compulsory-preferential voting. Of which the Americans adopted secret, but are only now considering preferential. But never compulsory - you just can't compel Americans to do anything (except maybe carry a gun and vote for Trump). The English, however, just can't come at either compulsory or preferential - can't be shown up by adopting the ways of the colonies, can they.
DeletePS: the Gottliebsen could finally be a perfect replacement for Piers Akerman, couldn't he ?
DeleteA group photo of all the key Reptiles, all dolled out in their Aussie Day finest (including the embodiments of patriotism helpfully displayed by DP) is the least we could have expected. I’d particularly like to have seen the Hole in the Bucket Man turning the snags while wearing that bbq apron.
DeleteI think mein Gott needs an editor, judging by the lousy sentence construction. Just a couple of examples:
ReplyDelete'Williams is one of the most forceful media executives in the land and when he says that he wants to restore the ABC reputation for unbiased credibility, and then he will do it.'
'As my readers know Albanese by making employing casuals too complex with big fines for mistakes, he effectively stops casual employment which, if legislated, would deliver a 25 per cent cut in take home cash for those who desperately need it.'
And somehow, Aboriginal Australians are an 'event'?
DeleteMost of Gott’s journalism has been of the gushing fanboi variety; a bit like the Bro, only a little more hushed and focussed on big biz rather then on whatever the Bro is currently obsessed with. To be honest he never seemed to actually know all that much about business or economics but he knew what he liked, and was an enthusiastic booster of his favourite companies and spivs - sorry, entrepreneurs. I suspect that he may still have a hankering for the numerous fallen idols of 1980s commerce. Likewise, he’s never displayed any particular knowledge or insight regarding history, politics or society , and that’s blindingly obvious fro his scribblings. The idea that you could actually assess the likely impact of a second Trump administration based on a list of his some of his written policies ( many of which the Orange One himself has probably never read), without taking into account the personal priorities, erratic behaviour and general incompetence of the man, and the record of his first term, is at best staggeringly naive, and at worst breathtakingly stupid. But who needs either knowledge or insight when you’re a Reptile, even a Second Class one?
DeleteLike I say, at long last a perfect replacement for Piers Akerman.
DeleteIf I might take a little space to ‘discus the doddering old bigot in detail’ - a.k.a that master of the highly selective quote - Holey Henry
ReplyDeleteTiny detail - his mention of early settlers from Ireland - in all the bloviation about ‘the flag’, we can be fairly sure that the one that Phillip raised and saluted was the then ‘Jack’, and did not contain the Irish saltire. The Act of Union was still twelve years away, but I guess it suits the Henry’s choice to focus on supposed religious acceptance.
I share your thought that the Henry may not have read ‘Kangaroo’, or, having read it, was not interested that a (decidedly unconventional in his personal life) visiting English novelist, could have gleaned such knowledge of the substantial bunch of reactionaries festering in New South Wales at that time. Gleaned that knowledge when so many of the ‘authorities’, supposedly sworn to maintain the peace and good order of the land, were either ignorant of, or - worse - accepting of - that movement.
Only the Henry could choose such a wimpy quote from (‘radical’) Brian Fitzpatrick. My copy of Fitzpatrick’s ‘The British Empire in Australia 1834-1939’ carries my copious notes and underlinings on his particular focus on labour law from colonial times - which, if you go early enough, included New Zealand.(by letters patent in the 1830s).
Fitzpatrick offers interesting examples, such as the one under the (NSW) ‘Masters and Servants Act 1828’. A shoemaker, free immigrant, working and living on a farm, did not follow the farm superintendent’s order to cut grass, on a Sunday. A group of justices - all know socially to the superintendent - sentenced the shoemaker to 6 months in prison. Fitzpatrick tells us that legislation that required employers actually to provide for their workers was promoted particularly from the (NSW) Coal Fields Regulation Acts, from 1855, hastened by the capacity of the miners to show solidarity and withhold their labour.
Eureka Stockade generated more drama; NSW coal miners gained more results.
As a self-proclaimed historian of economic development - the casual reader might have expected the Henry to say more about the conflict between capital and labour in Australia, because it is still widely studied around the world, but he seems a little fixated on the Jews just now, so we should prepare to see more Friday writings from the dodderer fitting Jews into whatever is the issue of each week.
Which should offer some variety to (if there are any) non-Catholic readers of what flies from the Flagship
Appreciated as always. These days the pond finds our Henry so tedious and predictable that it tends to skip the fact-and-opinion-checking homework. The staggering cheek of the hole in the bucket man daring to quote Fitzpatrick - beloved by the pond's history prof Russell Ward - was like water off a duck's back, much like his total lack of interest in what really interested Lawrence, as you note something of a rum chap.
DeleteAs you also note he's been fixated on genocide of late, so the court finding later this evening will no doubt be of interest to him ...
Ah well. Chad, when one has no sense or understanding of one's own, then all one can do is stenographically quote the sense and wisdom of others ... and I think we can accept Nicholas Gruen's testimony that Holely Henry reads a lot (very quickly, apparently) and has a great ability to remember, and 'quote' what he's read:
Deletehttps://clubtroppo.com.au/2008/03/02/henry-ergas-man-of-many-parts/
But does he really understand ? History is full of people - mainly in religions - who read and could quote bulk 'scripture' without ever understanding or being able to recognise their own level of incomprehension.
There's a term for that, I think ... oh yes, Dunning-Kruger.
Just to remind readers where to read about our greatest threats. https://johnmenadue.com/fear-why-are-government-officials-manufacturing-false-espionage-threats/
ReplyDelete"Government ministers and senior officials are conditioning Australians to become frightened, very frightened."
DeleteYep, whenever I go out for my daily coffee (large soy late, thanks) the people I see everywhere are shaking with fear. We've all noticed that, haven't we ?
But I suppose that pollies and pubserves can't just say that if China wanted to invade Australia, there's f-all we could do about it and we'd have to rely on the Americans to defend us, again. Not that they really defended us in WWII, it was our conscripts who first stopped the Japanese on the Kokoda.
But anyway, this is how war is going:
"Breakthrough for either side is almost impossible, say those in pulverised Kupiansk area".
Cheap but lethally accurate: how drones froze Ukraine’s frontlines
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/jan/25/how-drones-froze-ukraine-frontlines
Pity we haven't got any drones, isn't it. Oh, that the nation that gave the world the Jindivik should have come to this.
Oh dear: "Interestingly, there was a clear pattern whereby Yes voters had a better knowledge of colonial history [than No voters]."
ReplyDeleteHucoodanode.
https://theconversation.com/the-more-you-know-people-with-better-understanding-of-australias-colonial-history-more-likely-to-support-moving-australia-day-220288
Thank you DP, I never realised that there was so much quality Oz-themed merchandise available, a lot of it promoting tolerance by the wearer (I suspect some of the tat might promote laughter from the passers-by).
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to see Our Claire learning from Henry the Master and quoting absurd remarks as though they were powerful insights. It seems that Claire believes that it is a bad thing to have "measures... that hinder the free functions of markets (and) competition". Everyone but Our Claire knows that free functioning markets lead inevitably to a lack of competition - see our banks, telcos, supermarkets etc.
If the Gott really believes that the reader's of the Oz are "the silent majority", I don't think that he would ace the dementia test.
Just a thought: could we get around to stop calling it the "First fleet" and call it by its true name: "the Prison Ships fleet". Honesty and accuracy folks.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHard to say where Dutton got his idea of boycotting Woolworths.
“Trump was outraged to hear that Starbucks coffee cups didn’t offer a specific holiday greeting last year. ‘Did you read about Starbucks?” he angrily demanded of a crowd of supporters last December. ”No more ‘Merry Christmas’ at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks.”” (Horace Bloom, Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler:Making a Serious Comparison, 2016).
Bloom starts off with a discussion of Godwin’s Law, and notes that ”Recently, Mike Godwin himself has spoken out against the way that Godwin’s Law is being used to try to stop comparisons of Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler”
Ok, well that may explain Spud's thing about the 'Great Australian Holiday' and why it always has to be on 26 Jan now.
DeleteBut what on Terra could explain his idea that since Albanese has changed the 'Stage 3' policy that somehow there must be a federal election ? And I guess that would have to be a double dissolution, wouldn't it.
Is Dutton going to call for a new federal election every time some policy is changed to reflect changing circumstances ?
In any case, the Australia Day holiday occurs on a Monday three times every year. Should we have a federal election to change that ? After all, so many people now work regularly on Saturdays and Sundays, that having the holiday on the same day as 26th January every year would make good sense, wouldn't it ?
Here's my holiday two bob's worth...
ReplyDeleteAdvance Oztralian Shares
Oz readers have been much exposed
To herpetology
Where trolls employed by coal and oil
Compose hyperbole
Their words confirm their loyalty
To loons and billionaires
As every day they pull each page
Out from their derrieres
Without restraint the reptiles sing
Advance Oztralian shares!
You are definitely on a run, mate.
DeleteCheers GB. It's those inspirational Oztards wot dun it! 😁
DeleteKez - glad to see you have had a great Oz day, even more glad that you shared with us.
DeleteThanks Chadders. Happy to share my disdain for the reptiles with fellow travellers.
DeleteJunior Kelly strode up to mike and was very agressive in his question to Albo about lying and then tried to have a second go but was sent on his way by the moderator Laura Tingle and she said to to those that followed no second questions as a rebuke to the tiresome murdochracy character.
ReplyDeleteWith the Henry citing Brian Fitzpatrick, and our esteemed Dorothy mentioning Russel Ward in relation to Fitzpatrick - I was amused to see the e-Claire apparently giving a hot link to Judith Brett. Yes - e-C, expect a memo from higher up the rigging for that. One can only speculate quite how Judith Brett might feel about being cited in the same column as Javier Milei.
ReplyDeleteAre we seeing a national day emerging for collating miscellaneous feel good quotes from whoever rolls up on the 'handy quotations' website?
Maybe. https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/rawls/#TwoPriJusFai
DeleteProps to Our Henry for remembering what the rest of today’s Reptiles appear to have forgotten in their contributions - to get in a dig at Muslims.
ReplyDeleteWhat’s this? AFL clubs calling for the date of Australia Day to be changed? The NRL issuing a statement of sympathy for Indigenous folk’s concerns at the date? Surely if he remains true to his principles, Constable Spud will now call for a boycott of the country’s two most popular football codes to oppose this wokest nonsense?
ReplyDelete