In which the pond turns to place holders and waits for our Henry to turn up tomorrow ...

 

After yesterday's stunning success with the return of Dame Slap - way more comments than usual - the pond dared to hope that it might repeat the feat this day by bringing on petulant Peta ...

Foolish pond ...

Not the bloody voice, no, the pond refuses to go there, and as for silly Nick Cave and polling favourite royals, have the reptiles gone full Sieg Mail?

As for Albo posing with the talking tampon, the infallible Pope said it all ...

The pond began to sense that this was a day when it might strike out completely and sure enough the tree killer edition was just a case of numerical alarmism, with a repeat of that snap designed to delight republicans ...

Below the fold was a wasteland, and so there was no time for the pond to be informed ...

Raving ratbag lizard Oz editorialist ranting at renters having rights? 

Sorry, the pond found it hard to get 'excited' at a loon who'd put inverted commas around 'rights', and so the pond hared off to old favourites to see if anything was happening, but the best thing that can be said about Petronella is that she's intermittent in her output ... though her old piece in the Sieg Mail, The day I first met Camilla she was no one's idea of a Queen. But now I think she'll help save the monarchy, writes PETRONELLA WYATT, did reveal a couple of modern tragedies ...

Much aristocratic umbrage has been taken at the Palace's refusal to invite more than a handful of hereditary peers. There is more anger and frustration that peers who have received an invitation will not be allowed to wear their coronation robes or coronets. Once again, this shows social nous from the new Queen.
'The coronation robes have real fur and it was decided this would not be a good look,' I am told. 'Parliamentary robes have artificial fur, so peers will wear those instead. This has caused sneers about a Woke Coronation, but it's what Camilla and Charles want.'
Ede & Ravenscroft, the London company that has made and stored coronation robes for centuries, is similarly dismayed.
Camilla has also reconciled her husband to the media and its attentions. While Charles was once fractious, now he is emollient as Camilla ensures that photographers are always given the picture they want
Camilla has also reconciled her husband to the media and its attentions. While Charles was once fractious, now he is emollient as Camilla ensures that photographers are always given the picture they want
Storing fur-lined velvet robes in temperature-controlled environments is a costly business, running into ten of thousands per year. One peer tells me: 'They're so angry that they may sell all their coronation robes and coronets to rich Americans. Which opens up the prospect of a bunch of Texans wearing our ancient and historic robes to fancy dress parties. One shudders at the thought.'
Yet it would be churlish to denounce such breaks with tradition. Camilla, like Charles, is conscious of the expense to the taxpayer of events such as the Coronation and she grounds her husband, who is not averse to overspending when it comes to his comforts.

Before his marriage to Camilla, he insisted on sending his own bed linen and pillows ahead of him when staying in the houses of friends, much to their frustration.

Too much information, and there was much more, about the difficulty of finding a crown to fit Camilla's overblown head and such like, but not a single joke about her having a big head, and at the end of it all, the pond decided to run with a placeholder.

There'd always be tomorrow, tomorrow is another day, and Henry was certain to be there, and there'll be advice on how to fix sundry holes in assorted ancient Roman and Greek buckets, and there'd be no need to brood about the leftie across the dutch wanting to do a Pinkie and the Brain ...

Sure, it's a sign of the weird ways reptile obsessions develop, because if the UN Secretary-General is world leadership, why then the invasion of Ukraine by war-mongering Vlad the impaler will be sorted by tomorrow, right? 

What's that? ‘Absurdity to a new level’ as Russia takes charge of UN security council.

Okay, okay it's old news, but this is a placeholder until Henry turns up tomorrow.

And that's how the pond ended up with a reheated WSJ piece, but then heated-up baked beans on toast is still a comfort food for the pond, because you can leave Tamworth, but you can't ever take the Tamworth out ...

It's just a placeholder, so the pond brought in some Ron-related cartoons to remind itself that on a Thursday the pond could once rely on mask-fearing Killer boldly strutting about ...

Now back to Ron ...

Speaking of the mango Mussolini, CNN's move to the right has made the place even sillier than usual, but it does lead to fun notions ...

And then the reptiles had to go and ruin it. They started out well, with a smirking Ron, in the spirit of the ancient original, doing its best to hold out hope for Ron...

But then the local reptiles had to slip in a snap of Ron that wasn't in the original, with Ron wearing one of his silly smirks, as if trying to do a Tucker impression ... and the pond knew by just looking that likely the house of mouse was on a winner ...

Well it was just a placeholder, and the pond should have known, because the country has turned into a comedy wasteland ...

Sure, there's still one running joke ...

And then the pond decided to turn serious for a moment, with the lizard Oz editorial that had been hidden below the fold ...

What's this? Why it's up there with Kevin discovering he had a spine ...US Speaker McCarthy: Russia must pull out of Ukraine ...

You possibly read about it in Charlie Sykes' My Kevin Finally Gets It Right, which produced this image the pond still can't erase from mind ...

There's an explanation, of course, for Kev finding a spine. 

Vlad's muppet is no longer around to give Kev a hard time ...

Where's the green M&M fucker? Won't go away, but he does show Ron how to do vapid,, goofy impressions ...

The messenger from god will return ... and meanwhile, a Kevin joke ...

Now back to that serious business with the lizard Oz editorialist ...

The pond apologises. It is just a placeholder ... it's good to know that the reptiles and Kevin have suddenly discovered that Vlad the impaler is a war monger, but that surely is ancient news.

If you wanted something else, there's always more recent Charlie at The Bulwark, with All Trump's Women ... where before it turns subscriber, you can find him ravaging the pitiful CNN ... and where you can find the hot links ...

And so to the immortal Rowe for a closer, and the pond wishes it knew the import, but like the rest of the day's offerings, it seems vaguely pornographic ... as if apples had turned into balls ...