The pond freely admits that yesterday was a bit of a downer, but, as expected, you can't keep the reptiles down and today the reptiles came roaring back ...
First to match the arcane nonsense and royalist humbug the reptiles have decided to go full tree killer for the weekend...
Oh fucketty fuck, really, all for a talking tampon?
And then the pond couldn't resist this resistible juxtaposition, between the bromancer in full possum flight and clueless cackling Claire ...
The pond doesn't get it. Wasn't Bazza a drag queen who dragged kids across the boundaries of sexuality by showing it was perfectly fine, and a way to get pretty rich, and amass a handy collection of y'artz, by dressing up in a frock?
The pond immediately decided to ignore the bromancer and red card clueless Claire and while in the mood handed out another red card, this time to jaded Jenna ...
Imagine if Jenna's headline had read "Australia must let go of the grudge and embrace adultery and adulterers" ...
There'd be an uproar. There'd be some libertarians who'd be up for it, though they might quibble at the word "must", but there'd also be a rush of lizard Oz style wowsers clucking their tongues and deploring the state of western civilisation ... you know, the wonders of loyalty and marriage and the exemplary Liz, and the naughtiness of fooling around with married women.
Speaking of western civilisation, the pièce de résistance this Friday is, as the pond had hoped, our Henry, delivering up an unmitigated pile of tosh.
The pond has always thought of our Henry as a closet white supremacist, perhaps not so closeted, but more so than Tuckyo, and the logic is pretty simple.
He's always blathering on, in a humbug way, about the superior nature of western, sometimes European, more often English, civilisation ... which is to say white civilisation ... and today's outing was a ripper ...
Yep, thar he blowed, with yet another tedious history lesson of a mystically nonsensical kind, and all the pond could think of was Steve Bell leading the Graudian cartoon pack...
The reptiles did our Henry proud, with copious illustrations of their own ...
Next up came a short gobbet of gobbledegook, full of more mystical malarkey ... remarkable for a man who otherwise likes to pose as a desiccated coconut economist of the sound kind, instead of a royalist sounding berserk and bereft of sanity ...
Then it was on with an heroically long and substantially tedious outburst from the hole in the bucket man ...
The only thing the pond will allow is that King George III made for a great comedy and a most excellent role for Nigel Hawthorne, and the odd Gillray caricature (1792) ...
Will King Chuck III produce a similarly rich vein of comedy? Will King Chuck III match up to the ribald, licentious ways of King Chuck II?
There is some hope - he is, after all, a talking tampon - and something of a fruitcake, but the pond senses he's not up to the job ...
Not the freedumb ploy, and once again the pond turned to the Graudian ...
The pond has no idea why the reptiles allowed a climate alarmist, neigh climate catastrophist, into their midst, and the pond realises that the state of the Victorian Liberal party is vastly amusing to those who care - how many free kicks can you give to comrade Dan? - how much must they make the reptiles suffer? - but this day is a day for royalists, and so the pond decided to green light the meretricious Merritt, an extremely rare event ...
Trust the meretricious Merritt to devise a loophole, a swearing that's not really a swearing, with fingers crossed behind back ...
Meanwhile, the Boston Globe was holding a tea party ...
On with the meretricious Merritt offering legal advice ...
At this point that the pond suspected it would have been better off reading Clive Irving's King Charles’ Coronation Shows Just How Out of Touch He Is.
...At one extreme a leading republican, Priyamvada Gopal, professor of postcolonial studies at Cambridge, said it was a direction to “the peasants” to “pay allegiance to Rule by Wealth, and to all who profiteer and siphon off money from the public weal, according to law or not.”...
...Gopal’s comments are not just republican rhetoric. They reflect that people are only now discovering that the king’s personal wealth has soared to almost obscene levels while their own, at best, has barely moved in 15 years. The coronation occurs at a time of rising destitution – former Prime Minister Gordon Brown listed 7.5 million households in fuel poverty, 14 million living in damp or substandard housing, 400,000 children without a bed of their own, and nearly 10 million people cutting back on food for want of the ability to pay for it.
It is against that background that Charles and Camilla chose quiche for the traditional coronation dish to be served at street parties—Elizabeth II’s was coronation chicken. They offered a recipe for it: “a crisp, light pastry case and delicate flavors of spinach, broad beans and fresh tarragon.”
It is in such banal details that the condescension of the king and queen consort is revealed and becomes most offensive—in effect, this is the “let them eat quiche” coronation.
It's no coincidence that it's just a bunch of Xians pulling the usual con job ... per the Graudian ...
The coronation liturgy, published this weekend, has been drawn up by Lambeth Palace, the London headquarters of the archbishop of Canterbury, in close consultation with the king. Its new elements “reflect the diversity of our contemporary society”, said Justin Welby, the archbishop.
But the coronation was “first and foremost an act of Christian worship”, he said. “It is my prayer that all who share in this service, whether they are of faith or no faith, will find ancient wisdom and new hope that brings inspiration and joy.”...
...The service will start with a procession of faith representatives of the Jewish, Sunni and Shia Muslim, Sikh, Buddhist, Hindu, Jain, Bahá’í and Zoroastrian communities. Peers from different faiths will take part in the presentation of regalia, and at the end of the service the newly crowned king will receive a greeting spoken in unison by representatives of Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, Muslim and Buddhist communities. This will be unamplified because of the prohibition on using electricity on the Jewish sabbath.
Welby will preface the coronation oath by saying the established church which the king swears to maintain “will seek to foster an environment in which people of all faiths may live freely”.
Although Welby will later refer to the monarch as “defender of the faith” – a title bestowed by the state, not the church – Charles himself will not speak the words. He will declare that he is a “faithful Protestant” and he will pledge to “uphold and maintain” the Protestant succession to the throne.
In 1994, Charles caused controversy by suggesting he would prefer to be regarded as defending all faiths, rather than being defender of the Protestant faith.
The anointing of the king – “the most sacred moment” in the service, according to Lambeth Palace – will be conducted behind a screen. Charles will remove his robes of state, and will receive consecrated oil on his hands, breast and head wearing a simple linen tunic. Afterwards, he will be vested with the supertunica.
Supertunica? It's a bloody luxurious frock. So much for Henry's stripped down vow of poverty ...
Who dragged innocent children into this outrageous drag show? Clueless Claire will have words ... while the meretricious Merritt is still yammering on ...
Oh with the greatest respect, just fuck off ... and what's worse, there's been no way for the pond to work in a reference to the infallible Pope of the day ...
It was because the pond was a slow starter that it took the pond sometime to realise why the reptiles were all in on King Chuck.
What better way to ignore the latest Clarence Thomas scandal?
What better way to ignore the ratings at Faux Noise, while the Sieg Mail gloats with glee, MSNBC tops Fox in Prime Time ratings for key demographic and total viewers in the week after Tucker Carlson's exit.
What better way to try to make the pond forget the whole Tuckyo affair and voting machines and payouts and racism and all that ...
Dammit, there must still be room for fond memories, even if they're a few days old...
Hmm, just time to sneak in a cartoon ...
Almost done, the impending horrors of King Chuck swept aside, and the pond can still bathe in the warm afterglow.
A final gobbet of nostalgia if you please Erik ... the pond wants to dip into all the best in western civilisation, in celebration of the hole in the bucket man ... do Americans eat fox quiche?
Who knows if the local reptiles ever wonder about becoming something they don't want to be?
Who knows if Albo will ever live down that cruel portrait by the infallible Pope?
And who knows what will happen when the reptiles get over King Chuck and get back to the usual, with the immortal Rowe already signalling the shift, once we're done with the "let them eat quiche" moment...
*whew* What a truely wondrous torrent of wank from Our Henry today! The old boy has certainly excelled himself, and he’s finally gotten an opportunity to crib from that “Coronation Bumper Book for Girls and Boys” he received as a school prize in 1953, along with all those tourist brochures he picked up that time he visited Westminster Abbey. It’s certainly takes some effort to maintain the benefits of the concept of the Divine Right of Kings in the 21st century, let alone claim that’s what resulted in the development of a democratic society.
ReplyDeleteHenry saves the best for last, though, when he points out how lucky the locals were to have this load of fabulous tosh dumped on them with in the late 18th Century. Who needs The Voice when you can rely on the words of a 10th Century Archbishop of Canterbury?
I’m hoping that one of the local broadcasters has engaged Henry as a guest commentator for Chuck’s coronation. Anyone having difficulty getting to sleep would surely have no trouble dropping off once Henry starts quoting Dunstable and describing the Abbey floor tiles.
Our Henry is notoriously coy about his age, Anon, but it appears he was born in 1952. So that would have been creche school at best. I'm sure he was nevertheless top of class.
DeleteI know, I thought he looked much older as well. Especially given that photo of the desiccated old coconut must be from at least a decade ago.
Henry: "...the 'profound truth' that links faith and freedom, duty and fidelity, the rule of law and liberty under God." But BG, butt: the pommie royals are all "protestants" and not God-believers like all those good Catholics. Just ask the Pope, he'll tell you.
Delete"Wasn't Bazza a drag queen who dragged kids across the boundaries of sexuality by showing it was perfectly fine". Now how long ago was it that it was considered sinful - or at least rude, crude and salacious - for females to appear on stage ?
ReplyDeleteNo women ever appeared on stage in any of Shakespeare's plays during, and for quite a few years after, his lifetime.
Now, does that mean that the Elizabethans, and for some time later, all supported 'Drag Story Time' or does it mean that, by allowing actresses to actually come on stage, we moderns are all just terrible sinners ?
How often does God change its mind and is its mind, albeit highly intelligent, actually capable of rationality ?
I love that acronym, GB: DRessed As a Girl
DeleteI was slightly gobsmacked by that headline, GB - “Humphries was no leftie”. Faaaark, really? Hold the front page! Did the Bromancer ever see, read or hear any of BH’s performances, writings or interviews over the last 65 or so years? Probably too busy with his subscription to “Janes Fighting Ships”. The Bro must think other folk are as thick as himself if he believes they automatically equate “satirist” with “Left Wing”. He really is a bear of little brain.
DeleteI always thought of Edna Everage as more in the tradition of the classic Pantomime Dame than modern drag per se. Hmmm - I wonder how UK RWNJs paranoid about drag and trans issues reconcile their opposition with what should be a respect for such conservative cultural traditions as Pantomime or (as you note GB) Elizabethan era theatre? What’s Our Henry - perhaps channeling Dunstan of Canterbury - got to say about it?
God has long displayed pretty fickle judgement, GB. After all, a number of those monarchs anointed by the Deity - as rapturously described by Henry - had forcibly deposed their similarly-anointed predecessors. God seems like one of those little kids who, when watching a sporting contest, will loudly support whoever is ahead at that point.
DeleteHadn't seen that one Merc. Very good.
DeleteClearly and obviously pantomime, Anony, which was clear way back in the 1960s when I first saw BH perform live on stage in Melbourne. His Sandy (Agonistes) Stone was very effective.
But as to equating 'satirist' with 'Left Wing', well Gary Larson and Bill Watterson maybe, but didn't any of them ever read Li'l Abner ? Was that 'Left Wing' ? Now Al Capp was probably at least as famous as Larson, and even approaching towards Watterson in his day.
But otherwise, Anony 2, yeah, for the keeper of eternal truth 'He" sure is as changeable as the drop of a hat. What I've never been able to get is that after about 2000 years under the guidance of some supposedly infallible, immortal and all powerful 'god' there's still only about 1.2 billion Catholics (the one and only God nominated true believers) out of 8 billion of us - and as many non-Catholics (about 1.2 billion) claiming to be Christian as there is of the real thing.
Couple of side issues, if I may. Anonymous - of two days ago - with link to Stanovich and West
ReplyDeleteBefore we lose track of that extended thread - thank you for the link, and how appropriate to the Dame Slap. I did appreciate the several further links.
Yes. I very belatedly got round to posting on that which I hope DP will approve and post in due course.
DeleteAnd she did, thank you DP, so I got the chance to run with 'belief perseverance' one more time (very persevering, that belief).
DeleteYour welcome. And me too - occasionally intelligent & irrational.
Deletehttp://loonpond.blogspot.com/2023/05/in-which-pond-finally-visits-planet.html?showComment=1683159262279&m=1#c5580480017179751065
I'm not sure if this is part of efforts (?) by Stutchbury, with tacit approval of Board Chair Costello, to recast 'Financial Review' as a limp imitation of something from Limited News, or if this particular writer is trying to move in a direction that she probably considers 'Up market', but the 'Fin' for this day has article by one Louise Clegg, identified as 'Barrister specialising in public law and employment law'. Article is titled 'Voice is an undercooked thought experiment'.
ReplyDeleteThe title and content are quite predictable, as soon as we identify Barrister Clegg as she is more widely known - sometime chancer against Clover Moore for the Mayoralty, not helped by forgeries emanating from a 'staffer' in her husband's ministerial office - and more precisely known to us as Dame Beef.
No need to go to the content of the article. Only the most authoritative, outstanding, eminent - add superlatives - legal minds have been cited; funnily enough, the other common characteristic of those she has chosen is that they are opposed to 'The Voice' in every way - although, as befitting authoritative legal minds, they are not actually singing in unison as to why and how they oppose.
Oh - and I have no idea what kind of distinction it is to identify oneself as 'specialising in public law.'
Chad - presumably this is the Nine rag’s idea of “balance”. I believe Ms Clegg has also written at least one anti-Voice article for the Lizard Oz. If so, it would be interesting to compare the articles; are there any substantial differences, or is it money for old rope? It would take someone with a stronger stomach than mine to do so, though.
DeleteCan I take it that by "public law" Mrs Angus doesn't mean "common law" which is very definitely worth 'specialising' in. The one main and recognisable difference, so I basically understand, between British and 'Other European' Laws.
DeleteThat and the 'Carta Foresta' (much more effective and important than the Carta Magna), and the man whose name became a 'calling' (William (the) Marshall) whose support made Carta Foresta into one of the great acts of British history.
"The Charter of the Forest of 1217 (Latin: Carta Foresta) is a charter that re-established for free men rights of access to the royal forest that had been eroded by King William the Conqueror and his heirs. Many of its provisions were in force for centuries afterwards."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charter_of_the_Forest
Anonymous - not just strong stomach, but with no better thing to do with one's time than attempt such a comparison. I always have several books on the go, every one of which is better reading than anything that might be sliced off Dame Beef.
DeleteOne observation on eminent legal entities who supposedly oppose 'The Voice'. Many include comments along the lines of 'the proposal is poorly drafted', with strong implication, or even direct statement that - if they had only consulted the particular E.l.e, he (almost exclusively male) would have given them wording which would have been so much better. Not that they offer their draft in their article, or talk to the IPA, but it is clear that their main objection is that the writer/speaker was not consulted. So - go to this or that E.l.e, insert their words, and 'The Voice' is assured? Well, no - because every other E.l.e has his own, and different, wording in mind. Very likely the several groups who put the proposal together realised that was likely to happen, and they would never reach a proposal of any kind, because no Eminent legal would bend towards the drafting of any other Eminent legal.
As the saying goes, with decisions of our High Court - the declaration of infallibility came through with a majority of one.
On his day of coronation
ReplyDeleteThe new King Charles should see;
Twelve monks a-mumbling
Eleven scribes a-scribbling
Ten lords a-creeping
Nine damsels fainting
Eight earls a-fawning
Several knights a-jousting
Six priests a-praying
Five olde thynges...
Four sacred swords
Three men in frocks
Two tubs of tripe;
All according to Holey Henry
Very nice, Kez! Given Henry’s contribution, those must be mighty big tubs of tripe.
DeleteYair, he's not half bad on his better days (which is just about all of them) is he, Anony.
DeleteMeister Meretricious: "Australia makes its own laws". Well yes, it has since the enactment of the joint UK-Australia act 'The Australia Act 1986'. Get that, 19-bloody-86 ! So when allegiance was sworn to Lilibet (aka Betty II) it was just the old subject's allegiance that was sworn. And there's a lot of us that were here at the time.
DeleteBut don't you just love this: "...the true effect of the coronation oath is to reinforce the primacy of law over royalty - a gift this country inherited from Britain." Oh so we "inherited" it, did we. Like the UK passed away and left it to us in its will, yes ? I think we might find that Australia simply was part of the UK until 1986, and we didn't 'inherit' it so much as have it imposed on this Pacific Island part of the UK. Until 1986, anyway.
Oh and note the bit about "the Act of Settlement in 1701 which compelled all future monarchs to rule through parliament and to accept the independence of the judiciary." But hang on here, wasn't the Carta Magna supposed to achieve all that back in 1215 ?
"Clive Irving's King Charles’ Coronation Shows Just How Out of Touch He Is." Oh goodness, does that mean he's a UK version of the Onion Muncher ?
Cheers Anony and GB!
DeleteI suppose the question must be asked, DP. Are you planning a Gala Commemorative Coronation Edition for Sunday, to match the zombie resurrection of the Sunday Australian? Or, given that it’ll probably just be more forelock-tugging waffle from the usual suspects, supplemented by a lot of colour snaps of an elderly couple in funny clothes (hopefully with plenty of shots of the floor tiles for Our Henry), will it just be the usual menu of some anti-ABC dribbling from Polonius and whatever a couple of lesser Reptiles have to offer?
ReplyDeletePersonally I’d advise not bothering, and instead having a comfortable lie-in. It’s not as though anything fresh or innovating will be on offer.
I would like the Gala Commemorative Assange Pardon & Reparation Edition.
ReplyDeleteLove your work DP, yet Assange may be your match. ".. just a short foxhunt from the Old Royal Naval College" - I chortled.
He seems able to take over Loonpond anytime.
When he is released please, may we have a guest post by Julian A?
Repleat with forehanded backhanders!
"A KINGLY PROPOSAL: LETTER FROM JULIAN ASSANGE TO KING CHARLES III
JULIAN ASSANGE
5 MAY 2023
...
"Your Majesty’s Prison Belmarsh is located at the prestigious address of One Western Way, London, just a short foxhunt from the Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich. How delightful it must be to have such an esteemed establishment bear your name.
...
https://declassifieduk.org/a-kingly-proposal-letter-from-julian-assange-to-king-charles-iii/
Thanks for the Assange link. A most sobering read.
Delete