A few bits and bobs stitched together by a jolly good apocalyptic Groaning ...

 

The pond was astonished to see Morning Joe boasting about being banned by sociopathic Vlad the Impaler, together with the news that Seth Meyers had also been banned, and not for his terrible jokes about his writers and an ongoing inability to be funny as opposed to smirking, and that Colbert was also on the list ...

As if any of it mattered, because the writers' strike had banned the late night comics much more effectively than the sociopathic poisoned dwarf could manage, and the pond is beginning to feel the pinch at the comedy shortfall ...

Meanwhile,  speaking of poison ...

It turned out that an extraordinary number of the mango Mussolini's perceived enemies had made the Ruski cut, but not the Donald himself, leading to fresh speculation about that buddy bromance ... (and if you want to read the list and don't mind a click on a sociopath's website, it's here).

Sadly the pond is unlikely to make the list, which has been worn by some as a badge of pride ...

While on catch-up duty with Vlad the impaler's fellow travellers, the pond thought it should celebrate this story in Rolling Stone, which began...

In shock that they think Faux Noise is actually a news organisation?

Moving along, yesterday the pond missed the lizard Oz editorialist getting agitated about that Canberra matter...

Amazing how the reptiles manage to keep repeating themselves, though it provided the opportunity for the pond to lift that story in the Catholic Weekly up from the correspondents' section ...

The pond has no idea where it would be without the links below the fold ...

...There is also a unique Canberra context that Catholic non-Canberrans should understand before they rush to see this case as confirmation that a rabidly secular government, driven by religious bigotry, is out to get the church.
One aspect of this is the long and convoluted history of ACT government efforts to buy Calvary hospital, which culminated 15 years ago with an agreed sale being vetoed by the Vatican.
Despite its history as a very Catholic capital city, including a disproportionate number of Catholics in the commonwealth public service, Canberra is now a more secular jurisdiction than any other state or territory.
The recent census confirmed a higher proportion of non-religious citizens than anywhere else in Australia.
Canberra is growing fast and approaching 500,000 people, meaning that travel across the city to a hospital of your choice has become less and less easy.
Calvary is one of only two major public hospitals. Canberra Public Hospital (670 beds) on the south side and Calvary Public Hospital (240 beds) on the north side.
The balance between public and private hospitals in Canberra is not the same as in Sydney, Melbourne, or Brisbane.
This means greater public attention to the services not offered on principle, like abortion and euthanasia, by Catholic hospitals like Calvary.
Thirdly, the rapidly growing northern suburbs will mean a population of 400,000 there alone within 40 years, according to the Chief Minister. The government has its own big plans for a new public hospital on the Calvary Hospital site.

If the reptiles can repeat themselves, why can't the pond?

As for actual content from today's lizard Oz, it was slim pickings, with a few """'s scattered below the fold ...

Little goodwill from all? Well, the reptiles have set the tone, but all the pond could feel was a kind of ennui ...

Rachel talking of a rabble was tempting, but why go there when there's an apocalyptic groaning to come?

Meanwhile, Cathy Wilcox decided to revisit 2012 ...

The pond certainly won't be watching any video, not if the chief NSW plod slapped on a R rating on it and refused to watch it herself ...

Luckily the infallible Pope was on hand to explain everything with an exciting new bat phone ...

Meanwhile, before this turns into a solemn cartoon fest, the pond should note that the dog botherer had already gone, disappeared into the reptile ether, though he was there last night, tossed up from the aged belly of the beast, and so it was left to the pond to note the passing...

The pond was suitably alarmed. Fancy taking a view on anti-vaxxers and anti-mask wearers, and yet somehow Killer kept posting.

Then the pond was even more alarmed to see that the dog botherer himself might have been censored, though thanks to the pond using screen caps, you'll have to trust the pond, or break the paywall to experience the weirdness yourself ...

The pond kept clicking on those suggestions to open the web version, and kept on getting the same tedious story, and with not a skerrick added! Not a morsel, not a scrap, not a word, not even a crumb designed to satisfy a pigeon.

Such a wretched dog botherer offering and in such a small portion. It suggests that there's an overwhelming case for an inquiry into the editorial practices of the lizard Oz ... 

What else? Well last night the pond checked out the top of the digital edition and there, in a moment of glory, was Dame Groan herself, top of the world and the centre of attention in the revolving door, and with a splendid snap of the demonic one at the centre of the revolving fickle finger of visual fate ...

Tragically by this morning, it had been swept away by the reptiles ongoing obsession with the Lehrmann matter, and the only thing to note there was the strange absence of Dame Slap ... that surely must be some kind of first ...

Oh and demonic comrade Dan had been replaced by a standard snap of the glowering Groaner, glaring out at the world ...

The pond decided it would ignore "Ned" harking back to the days of Holt and Gorton and would go with the Groan, though when it comes to comrade Dan and his budget, the pond felt very Wag the Dog, and film producer "that's nothing" up against news from elsewhere ...

Still, if we must keep on demonising comrade Dan, we must, and so we must have an epic groaning about the sky falling, as it does on a daily basis at the lizard Oz ...

There we go, a reptile quoting another reptile - the pond knew that Rachel would turn up - and such was the desire for repetition, the reptiles couldn't let go of that snap and ran it again, and while it was a splendid jape the first time, it got a bit tedious the second, and so the pond downsized it ...

Back to the groaning ...

At this point the reptiles came up with a splendid snap, attributed to David Geraghty though the pond did wonder if Photoshop might also deserve a credit ...

Satan himself and his minion, glowering at hapless lizard Oz readers. Is there anything more terrifying? Have we come to the end of the world, and are about to have a lemming moment and fall off?

The pond guesses it's which headline you read, with L'Age predicting Victorian budget to include new taxes and $1b surplus within three years.

But then the pond has always thought of the odd billion as slim pickings.

As for the world, the pond had to turn to the cartoonists ...

And so, with those issues noted, on to a final gobbet from the Groaner ...

Could the pond have at least one quibble? 

After furiously scribbling all that, why did the groaning end with a "There could be..."? 

Surely after all that, the groaner should have ended with an apocalyptic "There most certainly, absolutely and terrifyingly, will be difficult times ahead. Victorians, head to your bug out as soon as you can on a slow moving train." If you find yourself in a loop, relax, this is the usual state of mind for Victorians.

The old chook* still has something to learn from "Ned" - if you're going to go full apocalypse, don't spare the horses (* as an old chook, the pond invokes the chook privilege to refer to another chook with chookly affection).

After all that, the pond faced only one final dilemma. 

How to segue to the immortal Rowe celebrating the visit of an aspiring authoritarian and fundamentalist Hindu nationalist? 

Luckily the immortal Rowe made it easy, because the pond is coming to you direct from the heart of Camperdown ... and has been known to drive its Camperdown chariot through the back streets in search of a narrow scrape ...

By golly if that isn't a giant thong bringing back fond memories of giant thongs...