If Fox News delivers neither news nor foxes, what's to be said about what the local reptiles deliver?
Sadly John Oliver was disappointingly brief in his return on the matter of Faux Noise, and that was the one gag that stuck in the pond's mind.
And the pond remains defiant about the matter of the craven Craven, even if it did lead to a glorious smackdown.
Sure it would have been clever of the pond to run the craven Craven, so that the pond might then run Greg Craven criticised for comments about voice referendum working group, it raised a deeper question.
What loon thought getting the craven Craven involved in providing constitutional advice a good idea? He's always been a self-important blabbermouth, strutting his wares in the lizard Oz...as if he'd manage to keep mum ... and that's why the pond rarely gives the blathering blaggard the time of day ...
But speaking of keeping mum, there was this in the lizard Oz ...
Was it this that set off ancient Troy in what was a very dull parade of reptiles this day?
It worried the pond, this all-out assault on News Corp. How can the reptiles make their rag relevant again, when in recent years it has largely been out of step with, and doesn't reflect the opinions of the broad community? If the reptiles kept on supporting Liberal loons and kept on getting it badly wrong, why should anyone think that ancient Troy bleating in the wilderness is a sign that at last the reptiles have correctly judged the voice?
Why on earth are they still holding a candle for the contemptible frock lover, when others can recognise the folly?
That's an EXCLUSIVE? Well the splash does show an EXCLUSIVE use of the English language in that line "is strongly opposed to restore his name ..."
And with that done, attention paid, the pond can turn to satisfying the cultists with the standard Tuesday fare of a jolly good groaning ...
Dreading the moment, some might wonder where the Caterist was early in the week, but he was last seen a week ago, causing ancient Troy grief ...
Please be assured that the Caterist will return, and thereby assure ancient Troy he's just pissing into the wind ... and that pond isn't doing a craven Craven by dodging the flood water whisperer, and can get on with the groaning in good conscience ...
The pond immediately regretted its folly, which is roughly equivalent to having the football or the blanket snatched away in a Peanuts cartoon ...
The only upside for the pond was the chance to insert an immortal Rowe ... knowing that the thought, the image, would send the Groaner and the reptiles into a frenzy ...
How grum was it going to gut? (Sorry, the pond occasionally lapses into fluent Kiwi).
Well the moment the pond saw that the groaning had reverted to a listicle, not by way of Powerpoint, but even worse, by way of dot points, the heart sank all the way down to the footwear ...
Oh dear, not climate change. Luckily the pond had a leftover infallible Pope to reassure the Groaner ...
It's always in the detail of course ...
He does a pretty fine impression with the forked tongue and the cloven feet, and it meant the pond was revived enough for a final gobbet of groaning ... with the listicle done and dusted, how hard could it be?
The Coalition's view is that superannuation belongs to individual members? The Coalition has always hated superannuation and union-run schemes and the whole damn thing, and done its best to weaken, subvert and ruin the notion, or at least put it in the hands of the private sector, whereby fees and charges and profits might reduce a payout to three fifths of fuck all ...
Had enough of this? But, billy goat, butt, there was the lizard Oz editorialist firing away, sounding as if Dame Groan had taken on the job of scribbling the column ...
The pond looked around for some cartoon relief, but could only come up with a Kudelka from last Saturday...
Perhaps the pond should have turned back the clock a little to the days when the keen Keane was still scribbling for Crikey, not so long ago, but passing for ancient history in reptile lore ...
That sound more like it, that's the spirit ...
What's eerie about the murmuration of reptiles is the way they always manage to sound exactly alike ... so it's back for final gobbet of the lizard Oz editorialist doing a fine impression of Dame Groan ...
Well it's only fair that the pond allow the keen Keane a final word.
This means that the pond will miss out on the lizard editorialist rabbiting on about East Timor, as if anyone in Canberra wants to know anything about that dismal record, begun by Whitlam giving the nod, sundry Liberal PMs following on, trudging through the Balibo Five and Roger East matters swept under assorted rugs, and zooming up to the ultimate treachery of the spying scandal, and the persecution of whistle blowers, kept up until July 2022, and still Collaery Prosecution Dropped, But Politicians Remain Unaccountable for Bugging Timor Cabinet, not the least the man who liked to wear stockings ...
It's a shameful, sorry record, taking in the likes of John Howard, George Brandis, and Xian Porter, and where were the reptiles then?
A final word from the keen Keane will also mean missing the bromancer berating Paul Keating for the nth time, and using him as a club to keep Albo walking in the bromancer light, but the pond can live with that ... just as it can live without a nanosecond spent thinking about the craven Craven.
Yet the pond must balance the super books somehow, and this must serve for the moment ...
Same as it ever was, and meanwhile, speaking of the Groaner's deep fear of values-based capitalism, the infallible Pope had another fine example of values-based capitalism at work (the pond types with irony littering the keyboard, and perhaps the kitchen sink) ...
Say it ain’t so, Kev! Dashing Donners has dashed all the way over to the Costello rags -
ReplyDeletehttps://www.smh.com.au/national/religious-schools-must-be-allowed-to-keep-the-right-to-discriminate-20230220-p5clwi.html
It’s just more of the usual guff ; religious schools must be allowed to discriminate, because, y’know, that’s what they do…… Its pretty much a rewrite of Angie Shanahan’s piece from the weekend. That doesn’t explain why it’s not in the Oz - endless articles flogging the same dead horse has always been a Reptile speciality, after all.
Sad comment on 9News that it'd take dingbat Donners on board. But hey, I'd approve of allowing "religious" schools to discriminate against those that don't share their so-called "faith" so long as our public 'non-religious' schools can equally discriminate by not employing or enrolling those who claim to be religious. Fair's fair, right ?
DeleteAhh, Greg Craven: once a reptile, always a reptile, eh?
ReplyDelete"Your honour, I acknowledge I was engaged as a constitutional law expert, with my remit being to provide legal advice only to the committee. But your honour, I'm a reptile, and reptiles do what reptiles gonna do. Hence my op-ed in the lizard Oz, where I gave erroneous information about the internal workings of the group."
DeleteLorena Allam: "...tends to paint him [the craven Craven] as a political fanatic who intends on having his own way..." "Tends to" ? Don't equivocate, of course he's a fanatic who intends to have his own way - that's what he's always been. He is a very well-conditioned reptile, after all.
DeleteJanet Albrechtsen pants fire!
ReplyDeleteDP, have you (or I) missed the jacket a(not)ffair? A major Reptile re Higgins who "implied I was a liar".
The Guardian today:
"Brittany Higgins responds on jacket claims
"Brittany Higgins has responded to an article in the Australian, which had questioned the veracity of her claims about where the jacket came from that she wore walking out of parliament on the morning of her alleged rape.
Janet Albrechtsen wrote:
"When Brittany Higgins walked out of Parliament House at 10.01am on Saturday, March 23, 2019, she was captured on CCTV wearing a black and white Carla Zampatti jacket.
... While the young staffer would repeat the claim that she took a jacket from a goodwill box in Linda Reynolds‘ ministerial suite in her testimony in the ACT supreme court last October during the rape trial of Bruce Lehrmann, members of Reynolds’ office have told The Weekend Australian that there was no goodwill bin or box or pile of clothes for charity in Reynolds’ ministerial suite."
Higgins has written on Twitter this morning explaining the context and saying the Australian should have asked her for her response before going to print.
Lehrmann consistently denied the allegation that he raped Higgins. His first trial was aborted due to juror misconduct and prosecutors decided not to proceed with a retrial because of the likely impact on Higgins’s mental health.
[Higgins' tweets]
"Reynolds moved from her Senate office to the Ministerial wing when she was promoted.
"There was a box of stuff her office manager told me to take to good will. It was mostly filled with old clothes.
"I borrowed the jacket from the box (after the assault) before it was donated.
— Brittany Higgins (@BrittHiggins_)February 20, 2023
"To be honest, she was a Minister at the time so she probably had no idea.
"Worse that the Australian didn’t put that particular allegation to me before they implied I was a liar ahead of publishing it to the entire country.
— Brittany Higgins (@BrittHiggins_)February 20, 2023
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/live/2023/feb/21/australia-news-live-interest-rates-reserve-bank-poll-ndis-health-housing-economy-albanese-dutton-greens?page=with:block-63f3f6818f08826dd5d9895a#block-63f3f6818f08826dd5d9895a
Now the weather being fully precedented is one thing, but reptile accusations against people being 'fact checked' before publication - ie reptile ravings also being 'precedented' - that's another thing entirely. It will never catch on.
DeleteWho does "the superannuation" belong to, indeed. Well I guess that provided there are no tax concessions or non-member contributions of any kind by government, then maybe it does ultimately belong to the 'contributor'.
ReplyDeleteBut that's not really the case, is it. Times have changed since the time of my retirement when "my" superannuation retained by IBM's default fund was subject to three sets of taxation: when it was 'contributed' (income tax), annually on any money that it earned, and lastly on the final payout which was also taxed. To the point that my payout was actually less that just the straightforward total of what I (and IBM) had 'contributed'. Any 'earnings' plus some of the capital had just disappeared into the fed government's maw.
Now there's government 'tax concessions' and only twice taxed, I think. In short, we the people are contributing to everybody's superannuation, even that of the very wealthy. As indeed we 'contribute' to the Age Pension, once you've gotten poor enough to qualify for it. And even when you have, you've got to report any changes of $2000 or more (used to be $1000) in your 'wealth' so that your Age Pension can be reduced if you've gained money, or increased if you've spent it in an approved way. Like spent it on paying your council rates - that's ok, but buying an expensive car (eg an EV) isn't.
So would you count your employer's contributions as 'your money', GB?
DeleteWhat employer's contribution is that, Anony ? Is it any more, or any less than the 'employer's contribution' called 'income tax' ? Is that my money ?
DeleteGrifters gotta grift, groaners gotta groan, and cultists tend to champ at bits and bytes.
ReplyDeleteOne of the truly useful methods in arithmetic is the ‘rule of 72’. It was not in the curriculum, but imparted to me before full high school. I later learned that Luca Pacioli advocated it, but that it almost certainly predated him by centuries. So other reptile economics writers - yes, you, Henry - may speak favourably of it, as it comes out of antiquity.
Another advocate was Paul Keating, who spoke of it when he was introducing what is known as ‘compulsory’ superannuation. He urged people to familiarise themselves with what he described as the ‘magic’ of compound interest. He was fully aware of how benefits accrue if people start an account as soon as possible in their working life, and leave those funds to build up over the longest possible time.
Can we assume that our Dame is similarly aware of this? Governments of both colours have managed not to capture much of the resource rent of the three resources ‘booms’ of the last 7 decades, so the ‘super’ system is about our best means of building up national savings. Interestingly, the same Coalition who made a virtue of not taking reasonable royalties off mineral exports, is also fairly implacably opposed to ‘super’. They have been the ones steadily delaying scheduled increases in contributions, they were the ones who made it possible (as ‘revealed’ in Crikey this day) for 3 million contributors to drain $38 billion from their funds for supposed pandemic survival, or cosmetic surgery, or - whatever - because there was precious little verification that much of that was spent on the approved reasons for withdrawal.
The last Coalition administration might have gone further in wrecking the entire super system, except it was in the purview of Jane Hume, and, well, if you wanted something done, Jane would not have been high on the list of people you would call.
Now it is very clear that our Dame does her groaning on behalf of ‘business’, which, while accepting super funds taking up significant proportions of their shares, loathe it when those same funds have things to say at AGMs, and even propose motions, rather than wait patiently for the ‘Officeworks’ bulk coffee, and sangers. We all understand that, and it saves her having to go back to her old undergrad notes about the function of savings in national economies. It also means she can ignore events that run counter to the theories (??) of Jobson Grouth as a way for our planet to support us for a few more generations. For example, Japan is approaching a steady state economy, supported in part by the strong propensity of Japanese Mamas to pile up money in banks. Now a fair bit of what is happening in Japan is happenstance, and make it up as you go. That is largely because there are few economic texts on how to provide for needs and wants other than through what is blindly considered to be ‘growth’ - a k a rampant consumerism.
Anyway, our Dame will get another tick from shellbacks in ‘business’ and ‘industry’, although in a week or so she will need to carp about what is not being done to boost productivity - while not having to offer guidance on how that could be done.
I dunno about the 'rule of 72' but I do know about the rule of 73 as explained by Sheldon.
DeleteAnyway, it's all just 'identity politics' of one kind or another, isn't it. And if there's any little thing that matters, it is that no other 'identity' should be allowed to acquire funds and/or power (things that go together).
One of my first workplace managers introduced me to that method - and it’s been very useful over the years. He also provided some very useful advice to those tempted to jump out of an industry defined benefit scheme into a growth fund - “ring up a life company and ask how much you need to to get an indexed annuity with the same return”.
DeleteYou find this stuff everywhere, even if there is a complex formula for working out a value, insider always have some “rule of thumb” for working stuff out on the run.
GB - I have just caught up with Dr Sheldon and #73, although I can see a case, in that age group, for 5 318008
DeleteA very 'bouncy' comeback, Chad.
DeleteGroanie: "governments should use compulsion only when there are clear reasons to do so and as a last resort". This must have been first said by Margaret Thatcher when she was telling her unfortunate subjects that there was no such thing as society. Not living in the real world.
ReplyDelete