In which the pond settles for prattling Polonius, the bromancer and a cartoon-led recovery for its Sunday meditation ...

 

The pond overdid it yesterday, what with onion muncher science, a dog botherer listicle and "Ned" in his usually state of hysteria about the sky falling down, but it doesn't get any easier or better for the pond's Sunday meditation, which is why the pond decided to start with a trigger warning, an old favourite from First Dog.

The pond sometimes wonder if The Insiders regrets giving prattling Polonius the boot, even though his efforts were a ratings, show and mood killer - though could his participation produce a show duller and more dire than last week's outing? If that's what it's like on return, what's it going to be like as it goes on?

Never mind, at some point, the cardigan wearers abandoned the  theory that having Polonius inside the tent pissing out would produce a bit of peace and quiet, but Polonius has always been pissing on the ABC, from inside and outside the tent, and nothing will stop a monomaniacal obsessive-compulsive pedant when he gets going ...

Hence the trigger alert about the letter to the ABC complaining about their complaint regarding Polonial complaints about their complaint procedure, because Polonius was at it again today - he's so easily triggered - and so ruining the pond's chance of a quiet Sunday meditation ...

Polonius is always banging on about diversity, when we all know that the lack of diversity really mans the lack of Polonius pontificating away on ABC programs, or - dare he dream the dream - a board position - or the ultimate dream, the MD position for himself, whereby he could order each show to feature a Polonial clone ...

What's funny is that in moaning about the lack of diversity, he both hates Media Watch for its lack of diversity, and then celebrates its diverse offerings on the failings of the ABC ...

There's also a matter of projection. Anyone who has read the interminable correspondence arising from when Polonius imagines himself to be a dog will note the profound irony of that line "many journalists, who dish out criticism of others, are oh-so-sensitive when on the receiving end."

Polonius has more prickles than the average hedgehog ...

The pond rarely goes there, but in his "correspondence" section of his doggie do dah imaginings, the oh so sensitive fundamentalist tyke always puts on a fine show of indignation, as in this sample ...

He doesn't really mean best wishes, he means best loathing, and the pond realises it promised never to mention the frock lover again, but that was the first taxi off the rank, and it went on and on and on ... 

Be grateful that the pond cut it short and that pond didn't provide a link - let masochists and sadists search it out for themselves.

But back to Polonius being triggered, and sure enough, the trigger let to rage, which led to outrage ...

Ah Sarah, and the pond couldn't help but immediately get distracted by Into the blue: Liberal senator’s Albanese attack goes X-rated:

What fun, but the pond must return to Polonius, still in a rage ... and for those who had "the ABC is a conservative presenter, producer or editor for any of its prominent television, radio or online outlets" on their bingo card, please come to the front of the hall for your meat tray prize ... and those who guessed that this was the umpteenth time (within a thousand or so, in the way that you can win a Hard Quiz), that Polonius has typed this line will score a bonus six pack ...

Is that a bit of a slap in the chops? The dog botherer is just in "the likes of" category, while top jerk Joe is a "high-profile Sky contributor", the better that his jerking and tugging should be known far and wide.

Never mind, it was at this point that the pond had to have a mild disagreement with Polonius. 

Anyone who had read the venerable Meade last Friday - as all serious herpetologists must - would have read that the ABC is in a fine old fit of no-one agreeing with nobody else ...

As well as the AFR sucking up to Gina - such expert sucks - the venerable Meade noted that there was an ABC board spot up for grabs, and everyone was at each other's throats. 

There was the Tingle, there was Dan Bourchier, there was Dan Ziffer, there was Indira Naaidoo, and there was Kelly Williams, all in fierce contention, and somewhat different from News Corp, where anyone aspiring to the board is really only wanting to be a patsy, a fall guy and a lickspittle lackey ...

It's a cardigan wearer's nest of diversity.

The pond apologises for gazumping Polonius's last gobbet about him seeing eye to eye with his fellow reptiles who see eye to eye with Sky News after dark, who see eye to eye with what Chairman Rupert decrees ...

Damn you News Breakfast, there's the pedant standing in the wings, waiting to bore your viewers into batshit crazy land, and you simply have no explanation or reason for your obdurate perversity ...

You could have had Polonius explaining that the entire uproar in Alice Springs was most welcome because it allowed him to stick it to the ABC. 

Never mind any actual problems, they were necessary because it allowed him to ravage the ABC. Who really cares what happens in Alice Springs, and likely enough it's all the fault of the ABC and the Graudian anyway ...

And there was another disappointment. Because Polonius can never left his eyes about his ABC fluff gathering navel, there was no way to segue off to the immortal Rowe, highlighting other issues, but as this is a cartoon-led recovery day, the pond decided to do it anyway ...

Go Spartacus ...

And so to the bromancer, and given the length there will be no bonus, and given the topic, the only reason the pond ran with it was because it allowed it to continue its cartoon-led recovery ...

It's true that this means the pond misses out on the Angelic one explaining that two parents bashing the shit out of each other is an excellent formula for the mental health and growth of the child ...

But it is what it is, and the pond imagines that correspondents could compose the piece in their head, with due regard for Catholic fundamentalist thinking, the enduring benefits of rape in marriage as a role model for children, and some bloody good violence so that that kids might understand that a punch-up and a slap-around doesn't just happen on a Hollywood screen ...

So sorry, it's on with the bromancer instead...

It is, of course, a classic bit of bromancer projecton to suggest that the aged senile old dodderer (or so the GOP would say) is actually a MAGA warrior of the Trumpian kind.

Worse, that mention of MAGA triggered the pond into a memory of MEGA, which turned up a few days ago in the Graudian.

The pond will allow itself only a few lines ...

There was a lot more, sorting out English football, and unruly kids needing a clip around the ears, and the bloody BBC, almost as bad as the ABC, and small boats, and the NHS, and school curriculum and identity, and the pond is waiting for the first reptile to wholeheartedly get on board and adopt the MEGA agenda, or for the mutton Dutton to adopt it as a policy paper, and present it as MOGA, or if you will, Make Oz Great Again, or if you will a Mogadutton a day will keep the pain away ...

Meanwhile, it was back to the bromancer lying about things, not least some Republicans wanting to abolish Social Security and Medicare and make any funding for new programs a yearly recurring event ...

And that led the pond to the first US offering in its cartoon-led recovery ...

... though dammit, the pond was sorely peeved that this wasn't the first cartoon off the old tree-cutting block, referencing as it does one of the pond's favourite shows ...

Never mind, there will be more ... as the bromancer keeps going ...

Pure Trump?

What about this being pure mango Mussolini?

Meanwhile, the bromancer was still living out the fantasy ...

But there are serious people spending serious time on devising solutions to these problems ... just ask Mitt ...

Next up in the bromancer catalogue came Ron DeSanctimonious ...

And it just so happened that the pond had a cartoon for that infinitely more intelligent trail blazer, cynical, deeply corrupt and as good a book burner as any Nazi might have been ...

And so to the penultimate gobbet, and it was almost as if MTG had helped the bromancer compose it ...

Ah, the globalists, and the liberal international order, vibrant and alive in the deep south, and in Russia and in many other places ... though the pond was heartened by the news Russian censors scour the internet for claims Putin is a 'bald dwarf' or seriously ill, leaked documents show

Please allow the pond to help them do a Ron DeSantis ...

... though in all the maligning of short people, who shouldn't have to bear the burden of comparisons to a brutal dictator, the pond was disappointed that the bromancer failed to mention several other triumphs of US policies ...

And with that there was just one small gobbet left, with the bromancer pretending it was all good, perhaps a bit of a muddle, but everybody would muddle on, you know muddling teachers and muddling pregnant women and muddling dead blacks, and muddling this and muddling that, and talk of cultural madness, as the bromancer no doubt heads off this day to a cannibal feast of human blood and human flesh, and counts it as a sane and redemptive moment ...

And that prodigious end reminded the pond that it had been a long time since it ran a TT cartoon, what with it easy enough to get a fix at the Daily Kos ...

And this one is just in time for some seasonal joy, featuring all the best lovers ...