Devastating news for the reptiles this day. After all their efforts, after all their raging at the dying of the white light, came an unexpected EXCLUSIVE ...
Say what? Is this quiet majority anything like the reptiles' much loved silent majority?
If so, what devious treachery is this? Should the reptiles go with the quiet majority?
Of course not, they must double down, get even more hysterical, there is much more work to be done, send news to Dame Slap and get her on the case ... or this sort of cartoon from the immortal Rowe might begin to feel like unseemly gloating ...
Yes, it's a bit early in the morning for a Rowe and that threatening balloon hovering over the nation, but there was even more bad news in another EXCLUSIVE ... and it came in the triptych of terror ...
The quiet majority is backing Labor, and simpleton "here no conflict of interest" Simon is made to report the news? Why that's inviting the cartoonists to have a field day ...
The shame, the ignominy, but at least there's the bloody ABC up to its usual monkey business - expect them in a Colbert segment some day soon - and there's always the Major ...
Oh no, did the pond just look forward to another outburst by the famous parrot, and what's more about EVs, the latest in a long line of reptile bête noires?
Well the pond has already been down this road many times, so it may as well charge up and give itself a a Major Monday shock to the system ...
Suddenly the Major is deeply worried about soaring fossil fuel use? Since when has dinkum, pure, innocent Oz coal ruffled the parrot's feathers?
But spoiler alert, the pond has already read ahead, and at the very end this climate science denialist Major Mitchell delivers a splendid punchline ...
But for the moment on with why EVs terrify the parrot ...
"There remains a slim hope ..."
We're now down to a "slim hope" that the Major is right and the prophets of climate doom will be finally shown for the frauds they are?
A "slim hope" is the best the Major has got?
But global temperatures have been behaving splendidly of late ... there's nothing like a record here, and a record there and a record atop a mountain that'd freeze the balls off a brass monkey or even ruffle a Major's feathers ...
Yep, record-breaking temperatures, google or otherwise hunt for them as you will ...
Records tumbling and the Major offering us a dose of Slim Shady from his nursing home ...
It's funny 'cause at the rate I'm goin' when I'm the Major's age and hurting
I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
Pinchin' nurses asses while I'm jackin' off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'
In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
Or in the parkin' lot circling, screamin' I don't give a fuck
With his windows down and his system up
The pond is sorry, it has absolutely no idea where that came from, it's a jump from "slim hope" to Slim Shady, and so the pond turned away to look for other reptile thoughts and opinions...
Sheesh, more simplistic Simon, and the Major making another appearance, and some Paddy having yet another ago at Jimbo, and Jason still brooding about Afghanistan ... there was nothing for it but a war of words ...
The pond will go anywhere for a gobbet, even the National Review, even to an appalled Boris ...
The problem with Luke's brand of specious bullshit is that he doesn't seem to have the first clue what's going down at Faux Noise and in the GOP, no thanks in large part to the work of the Chairman and his missionaries, because if you can make a quick buck by white anting, why not white ant away?
That's how to white ant, and imagine the pond's shock and surprise to find itself in the tank with Boris.
Meanwhile, Luke is up to the ears in his own verbiage and bullshit ...
Oh FFS, not Plato and all that hole in the bucket man's jazz.
When it comes to Ukraine, fuck the heavy weaponry of argument and the ammunition of logical reasoning, because then you wouldn't be scribbling for News Corp and find yourself playing the role of kissing cousin to Chairman Rupert's quisling minions.
Just cut the Platonic bullshit, and send in the heavy arguments and the ammunition of logically reasoning tanks ... and the more bloody tanks the better, whatever the bromancer might think of tanks.
Strange at this point in the pond's career that the reptiles should have made it a tank lover, but wait there's a final blast, as the pond discovers just how weird can it get in News Corp la la land ...
The pond has run out of space for a full Killer burst, but at the very end of his piece, did Killer scribble that he hoped the Chinese get better at espionage?
He did, he did. The way to improve bilateral relations is for China to do a better job with espionage.
Perhaps he was just jerking his chain, perhaps he was being whimsical in a wanky way - the Killer is great at that - but still, how soon before Killer is hoping that China does a better job on Taiwan than Vlad the Terrible has done with Ukraine?
Just send in the fucking tanks, and if they make a detour via Surry Hills, see if the pond cares ...
It's a funny old world, and after all the Major's EV shocks to the system and Luke's verbiage - where's the Oreo when she's needed, why did the Caterist abandon Monday to floodwaters in quarry? - to lift flagging spirits - already flagging on a Monday! - the pond went back to an old infallible Pope, because let's face it, a King Chuck cartoon never dates ...
In more Reptile- related news, it’s cost-cutting time again at News Corp - https://www.smh.com.au/business/companies/murdoch-s-news-corp-australia-prepares-to-slash-costs-by-20-million-20230203-p5chtj.html
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion to Mordor would be to simply do the honest thing and give up any pretence of presenting “news”. Simply sack their last few actual journalists and present nothing but Opinionists. Nobody actually reads the lIzard Oz, the Hun or the Terror to find out what’s happening in the world, do they? Sure, there may be a couple of characters who are difficult to classify - laughable as it may seem, some might still consider Simple Simon to actually be a journalist rather than a propagandist - but they could easily be replaced by a cost-effective AI chat bot.
I think 'agitpropist' rather than just a mere 'propagandist' Anony. But yes, you can read the Oz, Hun and Terror to find out what's happening at least in a certain subset of the world; how else would we ever know what absurd nonsense is inhabiting the minds of the likes of the Duttons and Abbotts of this world otherwise. And not to ignore Tuckyo either - he of the immense world-wide influence.
DeleteThe problem with News Corp is not the content behind the paywall, folk who pay for this shite are most likely wanting confirmation of their biases in any case, the problem is the recycling of the content in what used to be more reliable outlets. Turn on Aunty and you are likely to hear about a headline in the Oz. It's like they have engineered a virus in the supposedly super secure Surry Hills lab but somehow it's escaped and infected all the other publications.
DeleteThe pool from which limited news trawls its supposed talent is barely a puddle. For fun, last night I watched a little of Amanda Stoker on Sky. She pretty much recycled stuff from Dame Slap and other contributors to the Flagship, so nothing original (oh, there was an attempt at a vox pop, but - I did say I watched for fun, and that was fun. Quite unintentional, I am sure, but - fun). But, of course, each Sky 'presenter' has to have a 'panel' to put their propositions to, to receive the confirmatory 'that's exactly right Amanda, Andrew, Rowan' - we know the form. Amanda brought in a 'Business Consultant', one Olivia Caprarelli, to deliver the expected confirmation of opinion. Well, there was a little challenge - what were Olivia's qualifications to guide the opinions of those couple hundred viewers?
DeleteRecall that Amanda was, briefly, a Senator from Queensland. Never actually voted in by electors - was nominated to fill the position vacated by G. Brandis, but, when the electors were given the opportunity a couple of years later to vote for Amanda by name, they declined. What was that about unelected judges and bureaucrats? Our national upper house is populated by a steady stream of unelected 'members'. One Gregory Mirabella had a similar tenure in the senate, supposedly representing the electors of Victoria, but, on his entries in 'Hansard', seems not to have represented anyone other than his spouse, the unlovely Sophie.
Anyway, Olivia Caprarelli seems to have been a near perpetual student, but, during the time that taxpayers provided Amanda with an office in the senate, Olivia was 'gathering experience' as a 'canvasser', in that office. That suggests she was, in fact, a volunteer. Whatever her status - presumably she gathered enough experience to be able to front as a 'Business Consultant' on the panel for Amanda's time on Sky News.
Olivia's c.v. can now be inflated with 'As seen on national TV.'
"She pretty much recycled stuff from Dame Slap and other contributors" So is this just an instance of 'the more often something is repeated the more, and more widely, it is believed ? Or is it just a case of there being only so very few things that can be pushed out by the reptiles ? Or both ?
Deletethe narrowness of reptile vision, GB. For all Ms Ton-yee-nee's invocation of curiosity over the weekend, various presenters and contributors show little evidence of real curiosity about anything. This morning we had the Major transfixed between what 'motoring journalists' (an oxymoron) have been putting to the print editions - essentially material prepared by the PR arms of manufacturers, with minimum topping and tailing by the alleged 'journalist' after they get back from the trip to Spain, all expenses paid by the manufacturer, with appropriate duchessing, to fling the new model around Iberian highways, with technical terms like 'Phwoar' - and now the meme of climate change - that whatever governments initiate or promote will deliver outcomes waay worse than the supposed problem of the planet warming. We can expect what used to be 'editorial' pages to damn and denounce every piece of technology that leads away from internal combustion engines to motivate our personal transport, and continuing focus on that technology on the 'Phwoar' section of the tabloids, with reminders that every Australian driver does a 4000 kilometre trip through the outback about every second month, and where are the charging stations?
Delete“As seen on national tv” - well, I suppose that at least gives Olivia as much credibility as ads for funeral insurance and discount air conditioners, so I suppose that’s a start.
DeleteI’m impressed at your bravery in viewing the Stoker program, Chad (surely they could give it some sort of witty title like “Stoking Discussion” or “Stoker’s Mates”?). I recall very little of the former Senator’s political career, but I’m pretty certain that she struck me as doctrinaire, humourless and possessing all the charisma of a stalk of broccoli after a couple of months at the bottom of the veggie drawer. I suppose that’s good enough to get a gig as part of the Sky B team.
You do have to credit the Major for discovering the real reason why EVs will never be practical in Australia, GB; local Councils are reluctant to allow folk without off-street parking to run extension cords out to their vehicles. Yep - no way that could ever change…..
DeleteDeary me, Lucious Luke: "We don't understand how to distinguish valid. well-grounded and justifiable propositions from sham, bogus and baseless propositions." The reptiles are just masters of the art of psychological projection, aren't they.
ReplyDeleteStruth - did the Major actually cite the Gruadian in today’s screed? It wasn’t even a “here’s what those woke-Leftie Commie Greenie types are claiming” citation, either! What is happening to News Corp standards?
ReplyDelete"Perhaps he was just jerking his chain" [cilice]. Luke must have forgotten his hair shirt due to koolaid overdose.
ReplyDeleteToo close to "Mortification of the flesh"
"Among votarists, traditional forms of physical mortification are chain cilices and hair-shirts. In some of its more severe forms, it can mean using a discipline to flagellate oneself and aspugna to beat oneself." Wikipedia.
Anonymous - I could not resist - mortification of the flesh, as seen on TV (Four Corners, to be specific)
Delete*eeekk!,*. What will the Major say about this?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/feb/07/number-of-electric-vehicles-on-australian-roads-soars-as-demand-exceeds-supply
Actually, he’ll probably just ignore it, as any good Reptile would when some fact arises that doesn’t fit with their version of reality.
Just a small variant, Anony: "if I don't mention it, it isn't happening".
Delete