Monday, February 13, 2023

In which the pond provides incontrovertible evidence that AI is generating columns for the lizard Oz ...

 


The recently established but already very solid scientific theory that AI was being used in the creation of reptile columns for the lizard Oz (astutely noted by a pond correspondent) was given startling new proof this day. 

Type Caterist + voice, Killer + masks and Major + ABC into the machine, and it was impossible to detect any difference between the AI generated columns on view today and ancient works dusted off for comparison.

Of course it was easy for the AI machine thingie, because it had ingested loads of drivel, and the old rule that drivel in will produce drivel out was an easy computation.

It was only to provide evidence that the science worked that the pond allowed the Caterist to stray from Caterist + floodwaters + quarries to Caterist + voice. 

In the past, the pond has routinely red carded reptiles on the voice, but the eerie similarities just had to be seen and acknowledged ...






Having established that the AI was working, the pond became bored, and thought it might recommend some reading, because the reptiles really need some good examples to develop and hone their racism to a keen level, so why not feed some Ron DeSantis into the AI machine thingie? 

This splendid piece by Charles Bethea, published almost a week ago in The New Yorker, highlighted some excellent examples for the reptiles to follow (in full here, though the can never tell if it's paywall protected, and apologies, it's taken from the app, and so a microscope is needed or at least a click on to enlarge) ...








It's a little cramped as a read, but there's no mistaking the Orwellian proto-fascist inspiration. Understanding the risk of breaching Godwin's Law, the pond still couldn't help thinking here was a Hitler for the times ...

The determination not to allow radical activities like reading stood out for the pond. "Books are NOT for Student Use!" was a ripper, and should be impeccable advice for reptiles scribbling "Pesky, difficult blacks should just shut up and go away ...the Caterist has government cash in the paw to count ..."







It was easy for the AI machine to process that talk of "lack of detail" and spew it out, though being something of a simpleton program, down there with Google's first foray, it made the mistake of referring to sinecures for the Aboriginal elite, apparently unaware that the AI was supposed to be imitating the voice of a Canberra 'leet force fed on government grants, and living the high life in leafy Sydney, remote from most Sydney siders and the rest of Australia. 

The AI logarithm thingie had exposed itself to idle mockery and a passing contempt, and the pond decided to feed in a few more samples, so that the attempt at the next Caterist column might be much improved ...







Inspirational stuff, and here's another dollop ...






Actually he'd have been better off with a working title "The AI logarithm that wrote all the columns for the lizard Oz reptiles when scribbling furiously about the voice ... oh and books too, take all the books" ...





Okay, a cartoon for a breather, because the pond was belatedly delighted to discover that Fiona had turned up in the Graudian and featured a topic that the AI program simply couldn't handle because there'd been nothing to input, what with Robodebt rendered invisible in the reptile world ...






Tip to cartoonists, the AI machine thingie works much better for reptile columns dealing with topics for which there are reams of material, and there's an overwhelming amount available establishing Killer Creighton's deep and abiding and profoundly Freudian fear of masks ...






There is an upside. The pond understands that whenever Killer is wheeled into an operating theatre, he immediately demands that surgeons and nurses take off their masks. 

These child-like medical teams operate under the primitive superstition that wearing masks is another useful layer of protection when bugs and delicate surgery are best not getting together.

The pond suggests that people inspired by Killer should demand that their dentist remove his or her or whatever gender you like mask ... it could provoke a revolution in dentistry, or perhaps dentists ...

Meanwhile, back to the AI computations doing a splendid job imitating a Killer outing ...






For years now the pond has puzzled over Killer's deep and abiding fear of masks, with theories ranging from childhood abuse playing games which saw Killer forced to play a baddie and made to a rogue cowboy mask while playing a bank robber, when what he wanted to do was dress all in white, strum his geetar and shoot varmints.

Then there was the notion that Killer had at one time got caught up in the sort of mask-wearing featured in Eyes Wide Shut, and truly that would be a traumatic event because sharing Nicole Kidman's trauma would make anyone swear off masks for life.

Lacking any conclusive evidence, all the pond can do is marvel at the way the AI machine thingie got both the tone and the content right for this outing ...






At this point the pond did a check to see if it had missed anything of substance for today's AI experiment ...







Besides the Caterist and the Killer, the pond was most impressed at the way that the AI-generated machine thingie caught the tone of the Dibbster and managed to evoke John """ Glenn's desire to become Ukraine, and perhaps best of all the way it captured Bob's desire not to be left out and for Australia to have its very own balloon saga ...

But at the top of the digital page strode Major Mitchell, and it was a simple matter to feed in ABC + Covid, and see how seamlessly the machine thingie went about its business, and if anyone can tell the difference between the machine parrot and the ancient parrot that once hunted fitfully for that long lost order of Lenin medal will have a deuce of a time spotting any differences and proving them to the pond...

Let the scientific experiment begin and see how, from the get go, the AI thingie successfully imitated what was left of the reptile graphics department, by flinging in a snap of the Satanic Tingle, looking bemused, cruel and callous ...




Of course there's a cartoon that helps explain why the Major is feeling so sensitive ...








But what's truly remarkable is the way that the machine captured the Major's routines ... and it shows the benefits of having stuffed a huge amount of reptile crap in, so that you might get not just Killer + masks, but also the Major + masks, and soon enough Major + vaccines ...






The funny thing was that last night the pond's logarithms threw up this little outburst from the ABC - warning, it features people wearing masks and information designed to send the Major into a frothing, foaming frenzy ...









Damn you ABC, damn you to hell ... still pretending that Covid was still a thing and a risk to the frail, the infirm, the halt and the elderly,

Let the AI Major fix that for you immediately ...






AI knows how to do it ... talk up vaccine fears, and phobias, and denigrate masks, and soon enough you'll have measles and polio making a return...

It was all there in WaPo back in December 2022 ....






There's more at the link, and the pond particularly liked this addendum ...

Other parents who oppose school immunization mandates echo long-standing misinformation about vaccines that continue to spread via anti-vaccine groups.
Bianca Hernandez, a 37-year-old dog breeder in the Albuquerque metropolitan area, described concerns about the link between vaccine ingredients and autism, a view that has been extensively disproved. She said her two youngest children receive religious exemptions from school vaccination requirements.

Dog breeders gotta do what science dog breeders do, but there's no religious exemption from reading AI imitating the Major, nor even a plea of mental harm or the likelihood of insanity ...





Hear it from the government? You don't need an AI column to tell you that thanks to Faux Noise and Murdochian reptiles around the world, trust in government has reached an all-time low, and perhaps this is a sign that the AI machine thingie took the silliest lines from an ancient Major piece and decided to use it as a closer for this day's column ...

And as balloons have been mentioned, here's an immortal Rowe, seemingly immune from AI as he conjures up nightmare visions ...





 


And finally as racism has been given a run this day, here's a clip from an old show, Stormy Weather. 

It's a sad story, because there were Caterist and Ron DeSantis types at work in Hollywood long ago, as you can read in Legendary Nicholas Brothers Dance Routine Was Unrehearsed and Filmed in One Take.

American dancer, singer, actor, choreographer, and television presenter Fred Astaire said the moment was “the greatest dancing he had ever seen on film.”
Despite Astaire’s high praise and their undeniable talent, the Nicholas Brothers didn’t have an easy time in Hollywood. Racial discrimination at the time unfortunately caused the demise of their careers. At one point, the director of Stormy Weather, Irving Cummings, wanted to cut away the entire dance scene from the film.

Put it in a book, or call it a voice, and the Caterist and Ron DeSantis would have it banned on the spot, and the AI thingie would have been right on the spot to write it up for them ...




17 comments:

  1. Shorter AI Simulation Caterist : - “Heed the wisdom of a blow-in Pommie sociologist who has read a few 50 year old newspaper clippings, simple Indigenous folk - the longer it takes to try and do anything, the better it will be for you”.

    Bonus marks to the AI programmers for including “always remember to include a demand for more detail” in their instructions.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I suppose even AI simulations may be tempted to skimp on detail and engage in selective quoting. If it’s a Killer simulation, that’s almost guaranteed. Dr Jennifer Nuzzo’s comments on the Cochrane review are are bit more detailed and nuanced than the Killer AI’s selective reference might indicate.
    https://twitter.com/JenniferNuzzo/status/1621881097452666883

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Anonymous. The actual Cochrane summary is readily available, and quite short -

      https://www.cochrane.org/CD006207/ARI_do-physical-measures-such-hand-washing-or-wearing-masks-stop-or-slow-down-spread-respirator

      Cochrane includes serious reservations about the number and quality of studies that it was able to include in this review. No surprise that our Killer is much more assertive about its supposed 'findings' than is Cochrane itself - but, then, what would they know? Killer clearly has applied his laser-like economist probe to their study, seasoned, as Dorothy has reminded us, with a tincture of his own mask aversion, left over from who-knows-what early developmental trauma.

      Delete
    2. But, butt Chad, it was a "rigorous study" by which KillerC conveys that all he's talking about is how 'rigorous' the Cochrane study was, not in any sense how 'rigorous' the studies that Cochran cited are. Do pay attention, mate. But then he does tell us that they were "78 high-quality scientific studies that included more than 610,000 participants" (just about half of the number who actually died from Covid in the USA).

      So, as to wearing masks, Tom Jefferson told Maryanne Demasi that "in the absence of evidence you shouldn't be forcing anybody to do so [ie wear masks]" Ok, but can KillerC or Jefferson or Demasi tell us if we hadn't gone for mass 'forced' mask wearing, what actual evidence, one way or the other, would we have had ? Any ? No, we wouldn't have had any empirical evidence at all, would we, and therefore nothing but guesswork to base our decisions on.

      Sheesh, but those reptile ning-nongs are completely ignorant of science and the gathering of empirical evidence, aren't they.

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    3. GB - mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa - perhaps I was crediting artificial intelligence with a higher IQ than the physical reptile ning-nongs. That did set me off to musing on a variation of the original Turing test - one in which the Limited News program is in one room, and Malcolm Roberts in the other, and one of Rupert's dwindling supply of investigator reporters has to find out which one is which. A good test of the forensic skills that Dame Slap so readily claims for herself, when she refers to 'the lawyer in me'?

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    4. I hadn't heard mention of the 'Turing test' in quite a while. Thanks for the reminder, Chad. But I don't know about "Rupert's dwindling supply of investigator reporters" - isn't every single one of Rupert's reporters a world-quality 'investigative reporter' ?

      Delete
    5. Dame Slap and 'the lawyer in me' has exceedingly gross connotations. For me, at least.

      Delete
  3. Is Simon Benson really saying that - the opposition's weakest political measure is border security?

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    Replies
    1. Naah, the AI just muddled the English a little bit (as they are inclined to do). What he meant was that Border security is Labor's "weakest link". But I'm sure you knew that, Anony, even though Simon didn't.

      Delete
    2. Ah, I see. They wrote 'Labor will begin the second week of parliament...' and then decided to make it personal, changing 'Labor' to 'Anthony Albanese' but forgetting the rest of the sentence that referred to 'it'.

      Delete
  4. So Cat’r’Chat retrieved words from a ‘seminal’ book (we would not cite works that were not - ‘seminal’) which tells us that it is a mistake ‘to imagine that the solutions to human problems lie in politics and law rather than in the practical application of basic human rights.’

    It might seem trivial, but Sutton titled versions of his book ‘'The Politics of Suffering: Indigenous Policy in Australia since the 1970s' and ‘The politics of suffering : indigenous Australia and the end of the liberal consensus’.

    I do not have a copy to hand under any of these titles, but I am left wondering how what claims to be a democracy sees to the practical application of basic human rights (unspecified) without some recourse to politics - that is, the people affected have some say in how they will receive ‘practical application’ of their rights - and just a teensy touch of ‘law’ - to those who would deny them their rights.

    Cat’r’Chat needs a little more programming, if only to make it consistent with the versions of AI assigned to other contributor names within Limited News.

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    Replies
    1. Hmmm: 'basic human rights' ? Ok, time to bring Kant back into the discussion and haul out the rule book of duties and obligations that every single (or multiple) human being is obliged to obey.

      Delete
  5. Maj. Mitch. is a joy, isn't he: "...in the first two years of the pandemic - there were 2237 deaths ... Tingle focussed on the 15,000 who had died here last year..." Yep, if I'd been in any way close to one of the 15,000 that's what I'd be focussing on too. So, in 1/2 of the time required to kill 2237, we went for 15,000 instead.

    Well, isn't that just inflation for you ? Would raising the interest rate have reduced the death rate, d'you reckon ?

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  6. “Masks block some fraction of viral particles from dispersing from those who are infected and from infecting those who are susceptible . . . studies that did not find masks to be effective had limited statistical power and therefore do not imply that masks are ineffective . . . The studies that did not find statistically significant effects prove only that masks cannot offer protection if they are not worn.”

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    1. Oops.

      “Yes, masks reduce the risk of spreading COVID, despite a review saying they don’t

      Published: February 7, 2023

       C Raina MacIntyre,
      UNSW Sydney,
      Abrar Ahmad Chughtai,
      UNSW Sydney,
      David Fisman,
      University of Toronto,
      Trish Greenhalgh,
      University of Oxford

      “The question of whether and to what extent face masks work to prevent respiratory infections such as COVID and influenza has split the scientific community for decades.

      “Although there is strong evidence face masks significantly reduce transmission of such infections both in health-care settings and in the community, some experts do not agree.

      “An updated Cochrane Review published last week is the latest to suggest face masks don’t work in the community.

      “However there are problems with the review’s methodology and its underpinning assumptions about transmission.

      “The Cochrane Review combined randomised controlled trials (RCTs) using meta-analysis. RCTs test an intervention in one group and compare it with a “control” group that doesn’t receive the intervention or receives a different intervention. A meta-analysis pools the results of multiple studies.

      “This approach assumes (a) RCTs are the “best” evidence and (b) combining results from multiple RCTs will give you an average “effect size”.

      “But RCTs are only the undisputed gold standard for certain kinds of questions. For other questions, a mix of study designs is better. And RCTs should be combined in a meta-analysis only if they are all addressing the same research question in the same way.

      “Here are some reasons why the conclusions of this Cochrane Review are misleading.

      “It didn’t consider how COVID spreads and how masks work

      “COVID, along with influenza and many other respiratory diseases, is transmitted primarily through the air.
      ….
      “In contrast, surgical masks are designed to prevent splatter of fluid on the face and are loose-fitting, causing unfiltered air to leak in through the gaps around the mask. The filtration of a surgical mask is not regulated.

      In other words, respirators are designed for respiratory protection and cloth and surgical masks are not.

      “The studies addressed quite different questions

      “A common mistake in meta-analysis is to combine apples and oranges. If apples work but oranges don’t, combining all studies in a single average figure may lead to the conclusion that apples do not work.

      “This Cochrane Review combined RCTs where face masks or respirators were worn part of the time (for example, when caring for patients with known COVID or influenza: “occasional” or “targeted” use) with RCTs where they were worn at alltimes (“continuous use”).

      “Because both SARS-CoV-2 and influenza viruses are airborne, an unmasked person could be infected anywhere in the building and even after an infectious patient has left the room, …”

      https://theconversation.com/yes-masks-reduce-the-risk-of-spreading-covid-despite-a-review-saying-they-dont-198992


      Andrew Gelman super statistician

      Masks block some fraction of viral particles from dispersing from those who are infected and from infecting those who are susceptible . . . studies that did not find masks to be effective had limited statistical power and therefore do not imply that masks are ineffective . . . The studies that did not find statistically significant effects prove only that masks cannot offer protection if they are not worn.

      “Kollepara et al. conclude:
      “Masks block some fraction of viral particles from dispersing from those who are infected and from infecting those who are susceptible . . . studies that did not find masks to be effective had limited statistical power and therefore do not imply that masks are ineffective . . . The studies that did not find statistically significant effects prove only that masks cannot offer protection if they are not worn..”
      https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2022/02/24/masks-block-some-fraction-of-viral-particles-from-dispersing-from-those-who-are-infected-and-from-infecting-those-who-are-susceptible-studies-that-did-not-find-masks-to-be-effective-had-limite/

      Delete
    2. Crikey had a good one on reptiles and masks:

      https://www.crikey.com.au/2023/02/13/sky-news-australia-anti-mask-naturopathic-doctor/

      One measure of the strength of your argument is how far down the list of experts you have to go before you find one who agrees with you. A correction issued on the Sky News website gives an example:
      "A segment of the Outsiders program broadcast on December 11, 2022 concerning a report released by the US Department of Health and Human Services about management of Long COVID and use of masks included an interview with US naturopathic doctor, Dr Mark Sherwood. The broadcast did not intend to suggest that Dr Sherwood was a medically trained doctor and any such inference is incorrect.
      The views expressed by Dr Sherwood were expressed as a naturopath."
      Sherwood — who compensates in enthusiasm for what he lacks in genuine medical qualifications — had told Sky News in December that mask mandates in the US are “not necessary”, encouraging people to “push back” against the government. He goes on to insist:
      "People that had lessened lockdown and lessened mask measures did much better in all cause and mortality.
      It is now flu season, and now they’re pushing more of this flu, RSV, COVID combo now … this now trifecta virus that just magically mutated. Most of them push back and say well it didn’t work the first time, why would it work this time, and in this case they are right.
      … When we are breathing in this mask, we’re seeing dampness come out, creating a literal magnet of germs."
      Nothing says “medical insight” like expressing shock at the thought of a virus mutating, and we might want a citation on the claim that fewer masks and lockdowns allowed populations to do “much better in all cause and mortality”.
      Panelist Rowan Dean does introduce Sherwood as a “naturopathic doctor”, but James Morrow calls him “doctor” throughout and asks Sherwood’s “medical opinion” on the effect masks have on the immune system. So it’s not surprising someone at Sky really wants the distinction between “actual doctor” and “naturopathic doctor” made clear — as do a lot of medical regulators, incidentally. The segment features a chyron caption reading “Mask Madness: based on so-called science”. Which is pretty funny.
      In the US you can be a “naturopathic doctor”, which means you have graduated from a four-year naturopathic school and passed a licensing exam given by the Council on Naturopathic Medical Education. It varies from state to state whether they can legally, say, write prescriptions or order X-rays....

      And so on. There was a tweet too ...

      https://twitter.com/RonFilipkowski/status/1429157170789093384

      Delete
    3. "...masks cannot offer protection if they are not worn". Yep, that's exactly the kind of study that would appeal to the reptiles. If you don't actually run the test, then the result can be taken as proving anything you want to claim for it.

      Delete

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