As usual, the pond would like to start proceedings with the beguiling Weekly Beast headline, News Corp ends year on a low note as another senior figure investigated over alleged behaviour at staff drinks, so that anyone who wants to skip this outing has somewhere droll and amusing to go ...
In shorter poetical form ...
That done, because this is the pond's last Sunday posting for the year, the pond wanted it to go out with a bang for the stayers, there's an epic cornucopia of reptiles on parade ...
Admittedly it starts off a little tepidly, with prattling Polonius sounding more and more like a tired old duffer, inclined to ever more tedious complaints about the ABC ... but the pond hopes that no one displays the bitter cynicism of some ...
Waste?! Gad, sir, show some respect, if not for the liar from the Shire, then for the tired flunkey still trying to boost him. Remember that they shoot horses and send them to the knackery, and Polonius might be on his last legs as he neighs away ...
Being deeply conservative, the pond notes that in the old days it was taught that respect had to be earned. It didn't come with having been in an office, it came with what was done in office. If a liar from the Shire peddled lies and incompetence and secretive, furtive ministerial follies, then simply having been called PM didn't earn him respect ...
That noted, at last some other institution than the ABC has got under Polonius's very thin skin. And to read Polonius, you'd think that Katharine Murphy was a nobody working for a nothing, a small online newspaper ... and yet ...
Katharine Murphy has worked in Canberra’s parliamentary press gallery since 1996 for the Australian Financial Review, The Australian and The Age, before joining Guardian Australia, where she is the political editor. She won the Paul Lyneham Award for Excellence in Press Gallery Journalism in 2008 and has been a Walkley Award finalist twice. She was awarded an honorary doctorate by the University of Canberra in 2019. She is a director of the National Press Club and the author of On Disruption and Quarterly Essay The End of Certainty.
But the pond isn't here to defend Murphy, she can look after herself. What's great is that she's a woman and she clearly irritates Polonius, as intelligent, forceful women not short on insights and opinions are wont to do ...
The old "sufficient retribution" routine? Well the onion muncher is out of government, but also out of parliament, while the liar from the Shire decided he'd hang around, trouser taxpayer cash, and do a bit of seat warming.
That doesn't rate as sufficient retribution. The ratbag is still blustering, bullying and denying, and wasting a seat better occupied by almost anyone in the land ...
And yet Polonius has given himself the miserable assignment of defending this wretch ...
It's heroic of Polonius to take this line about respect, but you have to earn respect via actions and deeds, and the liar from the Shire simply can't cut it ...
And now let the pace pick up because the reptiles delivered a real double bunger letterbox busting gem ...
There's more here at the TNR, but that's enough before getting on to the next gobbet ...
Okay, the pond can't keep interrupting with all these footnotes and asides ... nor can it spend any time elaborating on Jordan Peterson's credentials as a climate scientist. Why not just munch on some lettuce instead? Or a double bunger word salad ...
Even back in the old days there were doubters, as in The Graudian in February 2018 ...
Or perhaps be efficiently lifted out of their bizarre diets and self-indulgence stupidity? Never mind, there's just one gobbet to go ... and the pond must keep its interruptions short because there are two reptiles to follow, impatiently waiting in the wings ...
This double bunger is a perfect example of how the lizard Oz is helping to fuck the planet, but quickly now, on to our Gracie celebrating vulgar youff.
Then in her final gobbet our Gracie wanders off into the thickets of the report, and the pond lost interest, but includes it for the sake of completeness ...
After all, the main point of this celebration of vulgr youf is really because that doddering old fart "Ned" had been waiting in the wings to celebrate the way that the mutton Dutton is getting into the grassroots...
And now perhaps a Wilcox ...
So much handwringing and the pond suddenly realised, why stop with local cartoonists for distractions, because after all, who gives a fuck about the mutton Dutton getting his shit together?
The pond can't get enough of it, and now there's only a gobbet of forensic analysis to go ... though really "Ned" should have looked at the elephant in the room ...
Oh heck, they had to mention food and cognitive ability and personal and social success ... how could the pond resist a mention of food?
Not everybody is persuaded that Peterson is a thinker of substance, however. Last November, fellow University of Toronto professor Ira Wells called him “the professor of piffle” – a YouTube star rather than a credible intellectual. Tabatha Southey, a columnist for the Canadian magazine Macleans, designated him “the stupid man’s smart person”.
“Peterson’s secret sauce is to provide an academic veneer to a lot of old-school rightwing cant, including the notion that most academia is corrupt and evil, and banal self-help patter,” says Southey. “He’s very much a cult thing, in every regard. I think he’s a goof, which does not mean he’s not dangerous.”...
...The key to Peterson’s appeal is also his greatest weakness. He wants to be the man who knows everything and can explain everything, without qualification or error. On Channel 4 News, he posed as an impregnable rock of hard evidence and common sense. But his arguments are riddled with conspiracy theories and crude distortions of subjects, including postmodernism, gender identity and Canadian law, that lie outside his field of expertise. Therefore, there is no need to caricature his ideas in order to challenge them.
Dame Slap's sort of man ... now on with the piffle ..
As this is the last chance to feature our Gracie this year, the pond just had to do it, and there is a point, as will be seen when the pond rolls out that tedious old fart, nattering "Ned" as evidence that vulgar youff can't do any worse than the likes of "Ned" ...
That talk by our Gracie reminded the pond of a grand reptile experiment. The pond hasn't a clue about how its going or whether vulgar youff have taken to it, but the pond did enjoy the high comedy of the launch ... back in April ...
Crackaclackin? Drop some fire? Mockery of decrepit lunatics writing heinous offensive shit?
This sort of comedy will surely help the reptiles build their main brand and it won't be long before the pond gets on to nattering "Ned" for some heinous offensive shit ...
Meanwhile, our Gracie is all in on vulgar youff ... with the younglings the bromancer's only hope for his war on China in the new year ...
Why "Ned" as the pond's weekend closer? Why the usual Everest to climb?
Well there were a number of other options, but the pond simply couldn't go there ...
A rabid Dame Slap, or simplistic Simon "no conflict of interest here" Benson?
Sorry, not a chance, nor could the pond go here, despite the appeal of a fundamentalist tyke celebrating Harry and Megan...
Oh she does love a goss ...
And there was the standard, almost obligatory bit of black bashing ...
Callinan? That name rings a bell ...
Callinan’s book will not gain fame as an elegant work of fiction: the writing is flat, the conversation stilted and the characterisation wooden. The sex scenes, which the broadsheet journalists had to go to quite a lot of trouble to find, are crass and perfunctory. Nevertheless, the novel is fascinating – because the author is a High Court judge...
...The book as a novel – plods along well enough; as recent legal and political history – not too reliable; as the author’s views on law and lawyers – prefers judges who say they are applying the law rather than those who shape it for political ends (which should add an interesting dimension to the scrutiny of the author’s judgments up there on high); as the author’s views on life, at least as between men and women – in need of refinement. The book as a whole – not a reason not to carry on judging. (in full here)
So it was left to "Ned" to natter at length, though to be fair he was only five gobbets long. To borrow from Kenneth Slessor ...
I looked out my window in the dark
At waves with diamond quills and combs of light
That arched their mackerel-backs and smacked the sand
In the moon’s drench, that straight enormous glaze,
And ships far off asleep, and Harbour-buoys
Tossing their fireballs wearily each to each,
And tried to hear your voice, but all I heard
Was a boat’s whistle, and the scraping squeal
Of seabirds’ voices far away, and gobbets,
Five gobbets. Five gobbets coldly ringing out.
Five gobbets.
Apologies to a fine poem, and its writer, and on with the gobbets ...
It immediately became clear to the pond that it would need to do something to spruce "Ned" up, to turn him into a spruce goose at it were, and perhaps an infallible Pope could help ...
It's always the details ...
Yes, a few interstitials will lighten the load ...
Now back to befuddled "Ned" still trying to work out what went wrong and what to do about it, though with "Ned" as coach, a wooden spoon beckons...
Game plan? Yeah, sure coach, what's say we sink a few and kick it around a bit?
And with this filibustering, there's only two gobbets of tedium left, though the last vulgar youff probably left the room years ago ...
After all, it wasn't so long ago that the Liberal party was looking abroad for inspiration, tranny bashing, black bashing, homophobia, climate science denialism and the like ...
Perhaps discover a snap of a cock as part of the game plan?
Back to the challenged Liberals for a final "coach Ned" encouraging word ...
And so concludes the last pond weekend post for the year, and the pond feels it's done its duty, and all that remains is to complain about the Crikey Arsehat awards one more time, and wonder why there wasn't a proper set of categories and nominations, so that great contenders might get their nanosecond in the sun ... to name just one ...
Polonius: "...former prime ministers, whatever their politics, be treated with respect by journalists and lawyers alike." Yeah, well maybe we could believe that if/when we ever see it happen - eg to Julia Gillard.
ReplyDeleteBut otherwise, "former prime ministers" have already received plenty of "respect" during their time in office and that's all they ever deserve.
“Isn’t this sufficient retribution?” It’s good to see that Polonius has decided to forgive and forget. He can now put down his Big Book of Grievances and we won’t have to read about Cardinal Peel for instance - sorted out by the courts, all in the past, done and dusted. Not sure, however, what will get the old boy out of bed each morning if he cannot recycle some offence he took back in the 50s.
ReplyDeleteIt’s also a bit tough trying to establish some equivalency between a fizzier like the Pink Batts royal commission (or TURC for that matter) and the unfolding clusterfuck of Robodebt. This one won’t be put aside too easily.
Anyhoo - have a good break. I doubt the reptiles will do anything new during your absence, they don’t have it in their DNA.
As Gracie writes: All of this information won't be news to Liberal Party insiders, who understand these are the issues that caused young voters to abandon them ...
ReplyDeletea senior operative expressed concern to me at their negative view of the world, as "drummed into them by the education system" ...
When asked what the party could do ... "we can't tell these people that they are wrong" ... the party needed to calibrate policy to address their concerns.
Then Ned: But the situation is actually worse ... devastating message about power in Australia ... progressive majority in both houses ... to fundamentally reshape the nation's direction ...
So there you have it. The conservatives do not want to reshape Australia, despite the regression to the middle ages of the last decade, and so they recognise that policies need to be calibrated to allay concerns, but presumably not to fix anything; to paraphrase J M Coetzee commenting on ex-Stasi operatives in post-2000 Germany, to our dismay they have learned nothing. AG
"drummed into them by the education system". It'd be funny if it wasn't so appalling. And of course no brain-light 'conservative' ever had anything "drummed into them by the education system" did they. Ever.
DeleteCurse that dreadful ABC-
ReplyDeleteGuardian alliance! How dare they resist the might of the Murdoch Empire?
Ah - the anger, the resentment, the envy, the hatred….. Cherish those feelings, let them grow and consume you, direct their strength to the Dark Side, Lord Polonius of the Sith Institute….
As alway Hendo ignores the demonstrable fact that the ABC regularly showcases conservative News Corp (apologies for the tautology there) scribblers. You only have to look at any episode of “Insiders” - that paradise of free tea and biscuits from which Polonius has been exiled - to see that. His real grievance of course is that he doesn’t appear on the network as frequently as he would like. Personally I think he should be given a regular gig on late night tv or radio - the nation’s insomniacs would be overjoyed.
It’s funny too how part of Jezza’s problem with the Gruadian is that it’s a “little” media outlet in Australia, and so presumably over-represented on the ABC. While of course this is pure speculation, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if regular readership of the G’s website compares pretty favourably with the numbers that subject themselves to actually reading the Lizard Oz.
Finally it must be noted that, whatever her faults or merits, Katharine Murphy is originally a Tamworth gal and thus automatically deserving of a privileged status.
While we are (figuratively) in Tamworth - a sustained paean for Fords Butchers, in Darling Street, of that fine city, with explanations that it does not have extensive display - if you know what cut you want, they will cut it out for you, on a proper wood block, as you wish.
Deletehttps://twitter.com/parkerfiftyone
No I am not a regular follower of 'parkerfiftyone' - he popped up originally on the Tony Windsor site.
Oooh, I had a Parker 51 fountain pen once upon a time. And great they were back when liquid pen ink was widely available.
DeleteYes GB - I took that - is it a Twitter name? - as a good sign for the personal qualities of the contributor. It certainly was a superior pen back in the day, and I think a version is still available.
DeleteThere's certainly a biro 'Parker 51' available, Chad, but I don't know if there's still a fountain pen - refills are the problem unless the pen is anchored to a desk. I last had mine, oh, maybe 20 or so years ago (it was leaking by then) and I'd had it and used it for maybe 30 or so years.
DeletePolonius never mentions that the "disastrous' pink batts scheme means that over a million households are saving probably more than $50 a year on their heating/cooling bills because of the scheme. That's more than $50 million a year. $50M one year, $50M another year and soon you're talking real money.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your good work DP.
The real problem with the 'pink batts' scheme was that to be effective in getting a lot of employment going and money out into the community, it had to push a lot more 'batts' work through the Australian tradies and building system than it could really handle.
DeleteBut we should keep in mind that the number of deaths - due to inexperienced, poorly (if at all) trained workers - was really just about on a par with the 'normal' rate happening in the building world.
A Ticky Fullerton rap? Part of me wants to track it down, and part of me just wants to try and erase any memory of the concept.
ReplyDeleteAnd to think that Ticky was the ABC's 'Business' presenter for some time - just another one of those 'conservatives' that never appear on ABC TV.
DeleteWell done, Our Gracie; you’ve just realised that people grow older, and as one generation dwindles in number through age and infirmity, thus taking a less active role in society, it is gradually supplanted by subsequent generations. Who would have thought it?
ReplyDeleteJust a little point for Bjornagain and Peterson to take note of:
ReplyDeleteMore than 1 in 10 species could be lost by end of century, study warns
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/dec/16/more-than-1-in-10-species-could-be-lost-by-end-of-century-study-warns-aoe
ReplyDeleteWith 'Ned' trying to milk some kind of comfort from a survey - albeit one that seems to have worked to acceptable methods - might I mention one from Gina's minions at the IPA?
Their statement reads 'Australians do not believe it is racist to oppose the Voice to Parliament' - and it was conducted earlier this month by ever-reliable Dynata. To produce that clever conclusion for the black-bashers Dynata must have tortured its data sources, many of whom would have been recruited originally from people with time on their hands and a willingness to do 'consumer reviews'.
Oh - the actual 'results' are not worth looking at - Dynata y'know.
“We undertook mid-week surveys at no less than three bowls clubs located in country towns…”
DeleteWell, Gracie and her "senior operative" and those "young voters" who have had their "negative view of the world, as 'drummed into them by the education system'." Yair, 'course it was, couldna been nothing else, could it.
ReplyDeleteBut I wonder who that "senior operative" is: it couldn't have been Rowan Dean of Sky, could it:
Young Australians have been ‘brainwashed’ into ‘believing in the benefits of socialism’: Dean
https://www.skynews.com.au/opinion/outsiders/young-australians-have-been-brainwashed-into-believing-in-the-benefits-of-socialism-dean/video/69ccb8346080c05922559b31fa95d4a7
Heh. But it is just a way of life for the wingnuts: whatever it is that they think they believe, then it was just a benefit of 'good education' while all those poor, sad, delusioned marxist green left wokies have been "brainwashed" or "conditioned" by exactly the same education system. Amazing, isn't it.
JM, something you may find mildly entertaining:
ReplyDeleteAmerican who moved to Australia reveals ‘weird’ things about our country
https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/travel-stories/american-who-moved-to-australia-reveals-weird-things-about-our-country/news-story/4240336daa331bda3ec234c3f3cb9191
GB,
DeleteUm, thanks, but this Kaymie is just the sort I invariably get seated next to on a plane.
She is seemingly interested in her new Oz home only so far as it affects her, the center
of the universe. She has no real interest beyond that.
See her equating the eating of kangaroo meat to an American eating the barely saved
from extinction bald eagle. You could explain to her that just like the American deer
the kangaroos provide a cheap source of meat and if not culled cause significant damage to the environment and other animals but by that time she has tuned
you out.
Her discovery of dual flushing toilets will fascinate both her & her readers/viewers
back home but Uluru will forever remain just some boring rocky thing.
Yep, that's just about as entertaining as I thought it would be. Always some interest though in getting an 'alien' viewpoint.
DeleteHi Jersey Mike, and thank you again for that perspective. I won't try to trade airplane anecdotes; you have nailed the generic case so well.
Delete