In which the pond begins downsizing for the holyday season, with only nattering "Ned" making the cut thanks to a fine display of Henny Pennyisms ...

 

Today seemed to be as good a day as any to begin winding back on the reptiles in preparation for the holyday season ...

The comments section featured a bashing of mad mullahs - no interest there, as the pond has long railed against theocratic states of the Iranian and Israeli kind, not to mention Hindu fundamentalists and white Xian nationalism - and look, there was a Labor minister out, but not about, apparently unaware he was pandering to a paywall, and that a vast number of voters would never get to see his words ...

And there was the RBA, and those who strangely believed its predictions, and elsewhere Dame Slap was back to black bashing and other matters ...

Still as loathsome as ever ... and just that line "nothing warrants the ripping down of opponents to try to win people over to their side" reminded the pond that Dame Slap has not a shred of irony, self-awareness, or sensa huma in her body, or what passes for a mind, because there's never been a better flesh ripper, with the possible exception of the loathsome Miranda the Devine, thankfully cavorting in the United States ...though the pond was reminded of a Wilcox cartoon ...

So the pond banned Dame Slap, enough already with the constant black bashing ...

And at the top of the page? Apparently the reptiles are unaware that their readership is a bunch of young earthers, and Xian fundamentalists, and creationists ... because they featured errant science alongside "Ned's" natter ...

Sure Killer was on the subs case, and the reptiles were talking up Ron DeSanctimonious, but that talk of a 100 million year old fossils would either lose the reptiles a lot of their creationist readers or lead to jokes about the fossilisation of "Ned" ...

To be fair, ancient fossil "Ned" was in Henny Penny, Chicken Little mode, and what a right royal flapping there was, loaded up with tiresome click bait videos which the pond either neutralised or deleted ...

Talk about a carry-on and a flapdoodle and blather about grim reality ... and it's been so long since the pond has celebrated "Ned" in full flap ...

Ancient foxing marks and a reminder of how fossilisation works ... and it's back to Hen Pen in a state of high alarm, with vulgar youff and bloody womyn and people getting too uppity, no thanks to some idle book larnin' and all that falutin' edocation nonsense at the root of the problem...

And yet still the liar from the Shire sits in parliament like that raven above the door, offering pathetic and flimsy excuses ... while that plague that isn't a plague (hat tip to Killer) is still scoring hits ...

The great thing about having only one reptile clucking about madly is that the pond can throw in a current infallible Pope just for the heck of it ... before getting back to "Ned" in mild hysteria mode ...

Say what? What happened to all the reptile blather about dictator Dan? Victoria apart? How dare they prefer him to the "not my job to hold a hose" man?

Labor is close to winning as many seats in the Victorian lower house as it did in the 2018 "Danslide" election, with the count in close seats expected to be finalised by the end of Wednesday. (Cardigan wearers)

Around this time the pond felt like bursting into extended song ... perhaps the ballad of an aged nattering man ...

You walk into the room with your pencil in your hand

You see somebody naked and you say, "Who is that man?"

You try so hard but you don't understand

Just what you will say when you get home

Because something is happening here but you don't know what it is

Do you, Mr. "Ned"?

You raise up your head and you ask, "Is this where it is?"

And somebody points to you and says, "It's his"

And you say, "What's mine?" and somebody else says, "Well, what is?"

And you say, "Oh my God, am I here all alone?"

But something is happening and you don't know what it is

Do you, Mr. "Ned"?

You hand in your ticket and you go watch the geek

Who immediately walks up to you when he hears you speak

And says, "How does it feel to be such a freak?"

And you say, "Impossible!" as he hands you a bone

And something is happening here but you don't know what it is

Do you, Mr. "Ned"?

You have many contacts among the lumberjacks

To get you facts when someone attacks your imagination

But nobody has any respect, anyway they already expect you to all give a check

To tax-deductible charity organizations

Ah, you've been with the professors and they've all liked your looks

With great lawyers you have discussed lepers and crooks

You've been through all of F. Scott Fitzgerald's books

You're very well-read, it's well-known

But something is happening here and you don't know what it is

Do you, Mr. "Ned"?

Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you and then he kneels

He crosses himself and then he clicks his high heels

And without further notice, he asks you how it feels

And he says, "Here is your throat back, thanks for the loan"

And you know something is happening but you don't know what it is

Do you, Mr. "Ned"?

Now, you see this one-eyed midget shouting the word "Now"

And you say, "For what reason?" and he says, "How"

And you say, "What does this mean?" and he screams back, "You're a cow!

Give me some milk or else go home"

And you know something's happening but you don't know what it is

Do you, Mr. "Ned"?

Well, you walk into the room like a camel, and then you frown

You put your eyes in your pocket and your nose on the ground

There ought to be a law against you comin' around

You should be made to wear earphones

'Cause something is happening and you don't know what it is

Do you, Mr. "Ned"?

By golly, it's been such a long time since the pond sang that song, but what's the odds it passed the ancient "Ned" by when it was fresh and young so long ago?

And with that epic filibuster, the pond has made it to the last screeching, yowling, cackling bit of "Ned" carry-on ... as "Ned" discovers that some people actually care about the planet being fucked, never an issue in reptile la la land, what with their grand array of denialists, including but not limited to Lloydie of the Amazon, the Bjorn-again one, the dog botherer, petulant Peta, Dame Groan, Dame Slap ... the list goes on and on and on ...

So to leave"Ned" behind, to continue to gaze at his navel and keep up the fluff-gathering, and nary a thought that what ails the coalition is precisely what ails News Corp and its pampered pets, and Sky News after to dark, and all that jazz, and off to the immortal Rowe of the day ... to celebrate the gift-giving RBA ...

The pond can hear some muttering that the pond is short-weight, but anyone still in need of reading could head off to Marina Hyde for Dominic Raab may have the most terrible record in government, but at least it’s perfectly formatted ... fun of a very English kind is guaranteed ...

Or there's always why the Right is compelled by Hunter Biden's cock, or in a more genteel way,  Why the Right needs Hunter Biden,  or perhaps there's still a few who may be entranced by the sight of an emperor who might finally be on the way out ... though that's been said before, and once was said about Adolf, and he hung around for an unseemly amount of time, until 1945 at last arrived...

Actually the pond only ran with Charlie - follow the link for the hot links - as an excuse to have a cartoon festival, which is always better than a ransacking of raptured reptiles ...