In which the dog bother does 'leet denialism, the bromancer does 'leet war and for a sorbet and a carol, the Bjorn-again one does 'leet denialism ...

 

The pond trusts that everyone is still keeping up with the Weekly Beast, which this week celebrated the gathering of the 'leets who make a career and a more than humble living out of deploring the 'leets. 

The header alone was rich 'leet company ... Lachlan Murdoch’s whirlwind week: from US court testimony to Sydney Christmas party as elites rub shoulders.

It truly was a 'leet gathering of those deploring the 'leets ...

The global head of News Corp, Robert Thomson, was among the guests at the shindig although he managed to escape the photographers who waited outside, as did former prime minister Tony Abbott.
Thomson is in Australia for board meetings and to secure a new editor-in-chief of the Australian, after the departure of Christopher Dore. Editor Michelle Gunn, who is in the running for editor-in-chief, arrived accompanied by the paper’s foreign editor, Greg Sheridan.
With his testimony as the chief executive of Fox Corp behind him, Lachlan can concentrate on preparing for mediation before Christmas in his other legal challenge: suing Crikey for defamation.
He is taking the independent news site owned by Private Media to court over an article that named the Murdoch family as an “unindicted co-conspirator” in the 6 January Capitol riots. His barrister, Sue Chrysanthou, was among the guests at Le Manoir, mingling with News Corp Australia CEO Michael Miller, and Sky News presenters Peter Stefanovic, Sharri Markson, Laura Jayes, Rita Panahi, Paul Murray and Andrew Bolt.
We couldn’t help but notice the shadow minister for communications, Sarah Henderson, scored an invitation, which is not surprising given she is making a career of attacking the ABC.

They were all there, the onion muncher and his beloved bromancer, and more of him anon, and simplistic Sharri and the panhandler Panahi - albeit never mentioned on the pond as a shame too shocking to behold - and the assiduously avoided Bolter, not to mention suck-up Sarah ...

And after that celebration of the 'leets, time to get on with it, and do actual case studies of the 'leet reptiles at work ... and here the pond must begin with its usual preface, because these days the pond spends as much time ruling out reptiles as keeping them in ...

The pond won't for example be including Dame Slap, routinely these days wretched when it comes to bashing blacks, and horrid when it comes to the Higgins matter ...

It's a change from attacking the voice, just as the pond had begun to wonder why the reptiles were so obsessed with black bashing. 

From what the pond can understand, a third legislative chamber is not proposed, nor is a veto. There can only be a lot of chin-wagging, advising, and if deemed appropriate, consenting ... and yet the reptiles have of late been full of hysteria about the end of democracy. 

Does it come from their white nationalist roots - after all, Dame Slap was a MAGA cap wearer and we know the sort of company they keep - or is it a deep-seated attachment to colonial paternalism and a desire to keep pesky, difficult, uppity blacks in their place ... in memory of ancient imperial behaviour, or Dixie style if you will ...

No matter, because climate science denialism is the topic of the day. 

Even prattling Polonius gets stuck into it, and "Ned" is so interminable that the pond decided that they'd make a good Sunday pairing, enough to drive anyone back to bed to catch up on a few extra hours of snooze.

Meanwhile,  the denialism was in a safe pair of hands, or the dog botherer's keyboard, though the pond searched for an answer to a constant puzzle ... and never managed to come up with one ...

You see, you're about to read the dog botherer rabbiting on about how climate change isn't a problem ... so the solution to the non-existent problem is to nuke the country.

Please don't ask the pond to explain the inexplicable logic ... just marvel at the sight of it in action ...

The pond should have noted that the dog botherer was going to be in full hysterical flight this day, deeply alarmed by the alarmists and flinging abuse everywhere ...

It's the "just because climate scientists predict change" that is the marvel and the wonder in that initial outburst ... the sullen resentment at the notion that there might be change, when everyone knows that growth has its seasons and so does the climate. First comes spring and a hot summer, and then we have autumn and winter, and then waddya know, we get a hotter spring and an even hotter summer again ... though who knows we might also get more floods and bushfires and ...

Perhaps the pond has been reading the dog botherer and his denialism for too long ... it's all so familiar, so repetitious, and finally so desperate ...

Speaking of the Graudian, there was this yarn recently ... Australia needs ‘wartime mobilisation’ response to climate crisis, security leaders say.

Australia must adopt a “wartime mobilisation” response to the climate emergency, former security leaders have told a review of the country’s defence policy.

The Australian Security Leaders Climate Group is calling for “a fundamental reframing of Australia’s defence and security strategy” away from geopolitical rivalry.

The group – whose members include the former Australian defence force chief Chris Barrie and former air force deputy chief John Blackburn – argues the country must push for unprecedented global cooperation on the climate crisis.

Despite the US and Australia vowing on Wednesday to “drive stronger global action to address the climate crisis”, the security leaders insist the issue is still being treated as an afterthought rather than a top-order threat.

The ADF faces ever-growing demands to respond to disasters at home and in the region, the group warns in a submission to the defence strategic review being conducted by former ADF chief Angus Houston and former defence minister Stephen Smith.

Global inaction has resulted in climate change becoming an immediate existential threat to humanity and, together with nuclear war, is the greatest threat to the security of Australia and its people,” the submission says.

And so on ... 

Steady on, before we get to a war on climate, we need to get past that war on China, more on that anon ...

Even worse, apparently the dear old things fail to realise that the way to deal with this non-existent problem is simply to nuke the power grid and nuke the country, and heck, nuke the planet while we're at it ... (hmm, maybe that war on China could do the trick) ...

It's the same old same old, the notion that there's nothing to see here, nothing happening folks, we've seen it all before ... and indeed we have because the pond woke to news on the BBC World Service of what it was like in Greenland a couple of million years ago, courtesy of DNA studies ...

There's a story about it here - what's an extra 11 to 19C hotter in north Greenland if you happen to like mastodons - and that interview with the Prof could be heard here, but there's lots more out and about, none of which matters when you're dealing with the dog botherer ...

And after that elaborate set up, so to the dog botherer's solution to what he's just argued in a tedious, error-laden way isn't an issue or a problem in need of a solution ...

Yep, it's the new form of denialism. There isn't a problem, but if there is, we can save it all for some distant SMR dreaming, and so the pond thinks the dog botherer should now be on Santa's list ...

So what might distract from nuking the country? Why not nuking the planet in a way that only the bromancer could manage ...

Fresh from the finger food, canapés and crudités being served by 'leet Lachy to his 'leet guests in his 'leet Bellevue Hill mansion in Sydney's 'leet east, the bromancer was fighting fit and ready to bung on world war III, if not by Xmas, then certainly in the new year ...

Here the pond should note that you can't bung on a war in just a few gobbets, so this is the "Ned" Everest for the day, and anyone wanting to mention how well Vlad the sociopath's war in Ukraine has gone and what wonders it's done for Russia and Ukraine and the entire planet should possibly just forget it, and instead go into full armchair warrior war monger mode...

Got your leather chair, your extra fine Amontillado, and a comfortable navy blue blazer with a decent set of brass buttons at the ready? Or are you more in the Hugh Hefner velvet smoking robe school? (though the pond can't really recommend going the whole cigar route, the chance of being mistaken for General Jack D. Ripper on a fluoridation of water jag is too high) ...

Now on with the war ...

The pond thought the reptiles had got over their desire for war with China by Xmas, but there's no accounting for how crudités can excite your manly cock, and want you to get into a brawl ... and while the pond has left its Freudian days behind, still there's something to be said for the way that missiles give the bromancer a very hard erection ...

There's nothing he likes better than sitting in his leather chair, reminiscing about his service in country in 'Nam, and taking down the Chinese ...

It's a rich fantasy life, though it might be better if someone would just make him supreme generalissimo so he could make everyone share his vision ... after all, a splendid time is being had this winter in Ukraine, so why not turn the whole planet into a disaster zone ...

Ah yes, as opposed to the American system ...

Sorry, the pond is just a tad bored with the war on China, and we all know where this is leading ... we need to spend more money on the bromancer's erections, or at least on some penis-shaped missiles ...

Stand by, the reptiles have a snap of one spurting, coming right up ...

Indeed, indeed, what a fine spurt that was, and haven't those missiles deployed by Vlad the sociopath produced wondrous results ... in terms of human misery, and epic destruction, not so much actual. military outcomes or territory gained and held ...

So let's take it to space, because what the planet really needs - thanks to the dog botherer having solved climate change by denying its existence - is space wars ...

In a decade? But the pond will have stopped blogging by then, and - stomping of foot - the bromancer promised a war, if not by Xmas, then certainly in the new year ...

What was it they said about generals always fighting the last war? Sheesh, if the bromancer wants to join forces and dig up the Schlieffen Plan, how soon before we start talking von Clausewitz and his famous saying "Murdochian journalism is the womb in which war develops"?

Or perhaps "All action takes place, so to speak, in a kind of twilight,  which like a fog or moonlight, often tends to make things seem grotesque and larger than they really are ..."

The pond often gets that foggy sense of the grotesque when reading the scribbles of war mongers of the bromancer leather chair war gamer kind, as if the recent events in Ukraine might not have put off talk of even more war, while the planet steadily goes down the climate science gurgler ... but what would the pond know, up against manly tyke men, with their erect missiles at the ready ...

No, no need for acronyms, we just need the bromancer, and a keyboard, and it's all done and dusted ...

Phew that was a chore, and so instead of "Ned" - stay tuned for that existential fight with the desire to nod off - the pond decided a little climate science denialism sorbet was in order and who better to deliver than the Bjorn-again one ...

Indeed, indeed, let's just keep doing what we've been doing, and perhaps sing the odd Xmas carol ...

Meanwhile, the Bjorn-again one never gets tired of singing his old song ...

Yep, things are going splendidly, so even though it's a tad mangled, the pond thought it could pause its contemplation of the Bjorn-again one and slip in an infallible Pope...

At some point, the Bjorn-again one would usually say that we need to spend more money on research, as opposed to actually doing anything about climate change or taking action, though this is perhaps a tad tricky when the research produces an EV, and then you have to spend all your time explaining how useless and what a comprehensive waste of time and money all that research has been ...

Indeed, indeed, and would it be a Bjorn-again outing without a meaningless bit of data, down to the 0.0001C level?

Meanwhile, the pond must apologise. In the old days, say a few weeks ago, the Bjorn-again one would scribble something like this ...

Fortunately, there are far smarter alternative approaches. The best long-term strategy would be to dramatically increase investment in green energy research and development. This approach would be much more effective while likely being 10 times cheaper than the approach taken by Europe and the US. This also makes it much more plausible to be implemented by governments around the world.

Consider how the computer went from being incredibly rare and expensive to commonplace and cheap. Governments didn’t achieve this revolution by subsidising every Western home in the 1960s or ’70s to install a massive, relatively inefficient computer in their basement. Breakthroughs were achieved by public and private expenditure on research and development leading to multiple innovations that led to evermore technologies becoming commercially viable, driving even more research and production in a virtuous circle. That’s the example we need to emulate when it comes to green energy.

Now look where we've reached ...

It doesn't have quite the same ring does it? "Electric vehicles will take over only when innovation has made them better and cheaper than petrol-powered cars".

But if we were to take computers as an example, it was the early adopters who forked out for expensive models - the pond confesses to acquiring a 512 at the cost of an arm and a leg - who allowed stupid scribblers to stupidly scribble ... "Breakthroughs were achieved by public and private expenditure on research and development leading to multiple innovations that led to evermore technologies becoming commercially viable, driving even more research and production in a virtuous circle. That’s the example we need to emulate when it comes to green energy (and transportation costs?)."

Enough already. As usual, the contradictions and monstrous stupidities make this the wrong sort of sorbet.

The pond has spent more than enough time with the reptiles this day, it's time for a cartoon, and as usual, the pond turns to the immortal Rowe for a closer ...