In which the pond stays true to Polonius's prattle, dabbles with our Gracie, and is saved from Dame Slap, the bubble headed booby and the oscillating fan by the arrival of another Killer piece ...

 

This weekend the reptiles have been all over Lisa Wilkinson - Polonius was at it with his prattle, Dame Slap gave her a bloody good slapping, and bubble-headed booby Gemma was also in on the game, though sounding very much like Polonius, loyally raising the matter of the Pellist trial ...

The pond didn't come down in the last shower, or even the last climate change affected big rain dump, and immediately knew what this murmuration of reptiles was about. 

Firstly the pond would have to run at least something about it, and secondly the pond would have to mount some kind of defence ...

Well one part is true, because the pond is loyal to Polonius and his prattle, and will always give the doddering old pedant a run, but as for Wilkinson, she must fall on her own sword ...

Perhaps the only disappointing aspect is that there doesn't seem any clear way for Polonius to make it all the fault of the ABC ...

Dame Slap at least introduced a little variation in proceedings by dragging in Ricky Gervais, and in the process, came up with this hilarious thought bubble:

"More seriously, by mocking the trans bullies during his most recent stand-up comedy act, Gervais is punching up."

For its sins, the pond happened on a walk to be listening to be listening to LBC discussing the latest unfunny Gervais outing, in which it was noted that, for all his alleged braveness, he didn't do black jokes. 

Very few white comics dare to go there, because they know they're on a hiding to nothing, but punching down with some tranny jokes is what you do when there's a new, much smaller, easy to kneecap minority on the block.

Aboriginal and wog jokes are on the nose, unless they happen to be done by the victims turning the tables, but you can always get a snide snigger from bigots with a tranny joke.

The recent kerfuffle about trans people in sport is another classic example of how to bash up a very small minority, with very few actual trans sports people to be sighted to cause the mass hysteria (as an aside, the pond's trans friend confesses to having been hopeless at sports before transition, and then she became even more hopeless as the transition kicked in).

Anyhow, the unseemly attempt at tranny bashing by Dame Slap was another reason the pond decided to pass on her and Gervais - there's enough transphobia to last a lifetime currently during the rounds at News Corp ...

Truth to tell the pond would rather be celebrating by dishing out the same sort of treatment the reptiles offer others... (Crikey paywall).

And so on, and that inevitably led the pond to Marina Hyde, marinating Chairman Rupert here ...

If only the pond could write like that, but what splendid news there's been of Piers and assorted other chairman tankings of late ...

Could it be that the pond's imaginary friend really does have magical powers?

And now, after thatlengthy detour, it's time to revert to Polonius, with the pond still hoping against hope that it was all the fault of the ABC, or that the cardigan wearers will at least get an ignoble mention ...

Nope, it's just the Project, which the pond can proudly claim to have never, ever seen, though as a saving grace, for the first time in the pond's memory of recent times - admittedly failing - Polonius actually mentioned commercial radio, though in a way that suggested a lack of familiarity, and certainly an expectation that none of Polonius's readers would know what he was scribbling about. Why else would he feel the need to explain that Jones was actually, in common, sordid, commercial parlance a Jonesy?

And then by hook and by crook and at last, Polonius dragged in the ABC, courtesy of the Pellist saga ... but please no mention of the way that for decades priests freely molested little children, on the basis of the biblical text, suffer the children to come unto them, or them to come on to them, or whatever ...

But here's the curious thing. Polonius himself has just talked about R v. Lehrmann, and so has bubble-headed Gemma, and so has Dame Slap, and so have a host of reptiles, when surely the wisest thing would just have been to shut up about it, and especially not draw false and insidious parallels to the Pellist matter, since the implication by definition is that Lehrmann might himself be the new Pell ...

Even worse, because Wilkinson keeps turning up, the pond has been drawn in, when the pond usually prefers to leave matters before the court to the courts, even when it's a kangaroo court intent on persecuting a whistleblower for blowing the whistle about the shameless, shocking behaviour of Lord Downer in commercial negotiations with East Timor ...

Still, the desire to cut back on the reptile Wilkinson Lehrmann trial coverage left the pond with a dilemma. We know What's on third, but Who's on second, and so for a change of pace, the pond decided to revert to our Gracie ... only to discover that once again our Gracie is dabbling in righteous payback ...

They're a funny mob in Victoria, and our Gracie's maintaining the rage is part of the fun. Never mind comrade Dan carelessly losing a few ministers - though perhaps four is a tad more than careless - our Gracie still wants to stick the boot into Josh ... and yet it was her kissing cousins at Sky News that were feeding the fodder to the faithful ...

Sure there were a  realists in those reports...

One senior Liberal party figure told The Australian there was "no guarantee" Kooyong can be won back from independents.

"Everyone in Hawthorn (an inner-eastern suburb in Kooyong) is running around in sandals and eating tofu. It’s gone," the source said.

Has our Gracie taken to munching on tofu and wearing sandals in Melbourne in winter?

Silly culture wars? Did our Gracie just call out Dame Slap for her silly tranny bashing? There are still days when the pond wonders what our Gracie is doing scribbling for the reptiles. Isn't she aware that she's in the heart of darkness?

Oh wait, that jibe about sandals and tofu really did get to her ... she must have spluttered into her tofu about it ... (relax, the pond is only imitating Dame Slap imitating Rickie Gervais, tofu is fucking hilarious, and as for sandals, what a larf, and as for a tofu eating, sandal wearing tranny, shush, or Dame Slap will split her sides. Sorry, apparently black people don't eat tofu or wear sandals, so we can't go there) ...

Actually if the pond might amend that thought ... it's not just the party hierarcy.

It doesn't look as though the reptiles are coping well. The pond provided ample evidence of that yesterday ... with the dog botherer preferring hate to love, and feeble excuses to policy ...

What a big sook, what a cry baby, what a hater of lurve ...

And so to the bonus, and here the pond faced a dilemma. For a moment it seemed that the pond might even have to revert to the oscillating fan, when suddenly the Killer landed to pour bullshit on troubled waters ...

The people decide, just as they do for practically everything else? Only a fuckwit of the first News Corp water could scribble that sort of self-satisfied white male thought ...

Meanwhile, the patsies were showing a few signs of regret, what with being all day suckers that decided for other people, by deciding to vote for others that women shouldn't be able to make any decisions about their bodies themselves ... as you'd expect of the Taliban or fundamentalist Xians reared on the old testament (though the pond should add a special mention of it being carried to an extreme in that Netflix doc, Be Sweet: Pray and Obey, which was/is a truly astonishing cult, down there with the mango Mussolini tribe).

The country's now caught the Taliban bus, and it's up to the likes of Killer to dissemble, confuse, conflate and minimise the damage, because that's what reptiles are paid to do ...

"For a time at least", "relatively rare", yadda yadda, horseshit ... it's already producing bizarre contortions and distortions ...

Meanwhile, it's all hunky dory back in the land of the News Corp white male ...

As for the Killer's originalist bullshit, there are plenty of other things not mentioned in the constitution, what with it being drawn up a little while ago, before horseless carriages became the rage ... and that's just an excuse for fundamentalist ideology of the kind you might expect from a judge married to a devotee of coups ...

Contraception, back to the old days of criminalising homosexuality, giving SSM the flick? It's all that the tranny bashing Gervais and Dame Slap might dream of, a consummation to be devoutly wished ...

Meanwhile, the Killer is still on the minimisation kick  in his final gobbet...

Overblown? The pond might wish Killer had a coat hanger shoved up his arse so he could talk about the overblown, though the pond did like the idea of making vasectomies compulsory for condescending white male scribblers ...

So a basic right to control your body is outsourced to the federal government or to large corporations? 

Just about everything the Killer scribbles is undiluted horseshit of the most offensive kind, but he really excelled himself in this outing, and the only benefit the pond could see was that it avoided time with the oscillating fan, offering up a standard bit of pious white bread bland both siderism on the matter of Bandt and the flag, and embracing differences, and so oscillating on and so oscillating forth, and pretending to be a voice for reason inside the reptile temple of madness and mayhem ...

The pond did the research on the fan, but decided he's such a tired mealy mouthed fop, there was no need to go there.

Instead the pond is happy to finish off with a couple of cartoons, because it's been too long since TT has turned up ...