In which the pond almost takes a break but instead goes searching for honey with a Milne(r) ...

 

 

 

The pond woke up to news of drought, famine, surging inflation and the sociopathic Vlad the impaler, and the level of grumpiness increased exponentially.

Worse, the pond had pottered about yesterday listening to the latest US hearing, before following up with a rare double dose of Morning Joe. 

At one point there were eight talking heads on the screen, and the pond's television set almost collapsed from the weight. Does it take that many people to tell the pond the United States is deeply fucked?

The pond had already been triggered by reading the keen Keane (the other one) carrying on in Crikey with Trump is a confirmed unhinged traitor. And Murdoch is his unindicted co-conspirator. (paywall).

That ended - spoiler alert - this way ...

If Trump ends up in the dock for a variety of crimes committed as president, as he should be, not all his co-conspirators will be there with him. Nixon was famously the “unindicted co-conspirator” in Watergate. The Murdochs and their slew of poisonous Fox News commentators are the unindicted co-conspirators of this continuing crisis.

Of course the local reptiles are a long way from the heart of the evil empire, but to break Godwin's Law for a moment, some distant soldier stationed in France couldn't pretend he had no connection to the heart of Berlin's Nazi regime. 

That was compounded by a correspondent noting that Dame Slap blathering about Trump nuts was beyond the pale ... as if in her day she hadn't been a dinkum nut herself ... as if nuttiness not worth gathering in May was at the heart of all her columns ...

Just a sideways glance from an unindicted co-conspirator was likely enough to set the pond off and then came this in the comments section of the lizard Oz ...

 

 

 

 

Dear sweet long absent lord, petulant Peta blathering on about Xianity, as if it was all a matter of fashion, and somehow we should forget about the pagan, heathen Greek and Roman cultural foundations.

It was simply too much for the pond to bear, what with Niki Savva long gone from sight over at those other Costello rags and the immortal Rowe taking a break and the infallible Pope locked away ...

The pond almost thought of a retreat into a monastic silence, what with the front page determined to set Albo up for a fall ...

 

It's a cunning ploy, the notion that plucky little old Oztralia is going to power and feed the world, and of course, having failed in the mission, the reptiles would then have their chance to do their payback.

The strategy continued at the top of the digital page ...

 

 

As you'd expect from unindicted co-conspirators, there's no mention of the mango Mussolini, or the coup, or the Murdochs and their slew of poisonous Fox News commentators ... just a puff piece about Wong, as if that sort of nonsense could suddenly redeem the unindicted co-conspirators ...

Just as the pond was about to walk away, declare a holiday and return to bed, the pond couldn't help but notice Cameron the Pooh-bear Milner had been elevated to the top of the page, just above a story comically headed "Put renewables on fast track, says AEMO."

Hadn't AEMO been reading the reptiles this past decade? Worse, what were the reptiles doing with that sort of headline? Didn't the reptiles read the reptiles?

And then the pond started to wonder how that toad blow-in, Pooh-bear Milner had become a reptile thing ...

Well it was a dire Thursday, and rather talk Xian with petulant Peta, the pond decided to find out ...

The pond had already done the Colac spaghetti monster thing thanks to a correspondent ...

 

 

 

 

And the pond had supped on the news about Xians ...

 

 

 

 

When the first census was conducted in 1911, 96 per cent of Australians listed a form of Christianity as their religion.
The proportion of Australians identifying as Catholic declined from 23 to 20 per cent over the past five years while self-identified Anglicans dropped from 13 to 10 per cent.
By contrast, the share of Australians identifying as “non-religious” has surged.
Thirty-nine per cent of Australians now identify as non-religious, up from 30 per cent in 2016 and almost double the 22 per cent of Australians who ticked the “no religion” box a decade ago.
In the mid-1960s, less than 1 per cent of people in Australia identified as having no religion.
Based on current trends, non-believers could overtake Christians as the biggest religious bloc in Australia by the time the next census is conducted in 2026. (Costello's rag, here)

So the pond's breaking its vow of census silence so it could identify as non-religious had been worthwhile, and fuck the Xians, the non-believers would be top dog by 2026. 

No more complimentay women for angry Sydney Anglicans, and tykes on retreat, except in the US Supreme Court...

The pond had had its kicks and its laughs ...

 

 

 

 

Okay, the pond is just avoiding the inevitable, but finally it must turn to Pooh-bear Milner, if only to wonder how he became a reptile thing, a toad legend in his own lunch time ...

 

Ah, he's a both siderist, and so can easily slip into the reptile tent, with blather of the "but also with Labor", billy goat butt style ... and when it comes to the peacetime plan, the pond knew at once where we were heading ...

 

 

Straight in line with the usual reptile blather about teals, nice upper middle class houses with solar rooftops, and yadda yadda ...

 

 

 

 

Nostalgia day! The pond didn't check with the latest census figures, but apparently one in four houses in the land consist of nice upper middle class folk in love with teal for their vintage 1960s Marimekko curtains, and their feature walls...

How did the pond come to that figure? Why it took a deep dive into the days of beefy boofhead Angus himself ...

 

 

 

 

Oh dear, the dear old beefy boofhead has been archived, put out to pasture ... what if you called a press conference, and no one came, and so nobody asked a question ...

And yet there was much fun to be had ...

 The Morrison Government’s plan is working.  

•     The ACCC’s latest report shows electricity costs for households are now at their lowest levels in eight years.  
•     In the past two years alone, the ACCC has found power costs have dropped 8 per cent for households – that's a $128 a year saving for consumers.   
•     For small businesses, the average cost has fallen by 10 per cent over the past two years and for large business customers, costs have fallen by 12 per cent over the same period.
•     On top of this, an Australian Energy Market Commission (AEMC) report released in November shows household electricity bills across the national electricity market will continue to fall by a further nearly 6 per cent on average over the next few years. This means, depending on where you live, families could be a further $126 better off.

The Morrison Government is focused on delivering affordable, reliable and secure electricity for Australian households and businesses. This is central to our ongoing economic recovery and will support jobs, productivity and economic growth.   

The eleventh of March 2022 ... and the beefy boofhead was sounding just like Pooh-bear Milner ...

 But enough fun, it was time for a final gobbet ... and the pond just knew that Pooh would be dancing with delight at coal and gas ... and railing at green-tinged governments, and anti-fossil fuel zealots, and all the usual reptile lingo, and by the way, go toads ... yes, go, go as far as the getting will get ya ...

 

And that's the very last time the pond will bother with Pooh-bear Milner. The pond attributes it to a sudden lack of reptile gas, or rather, perhaps too much petulant Peta Xian gas producing a short term energy crisis ...

Reptiles, look at what you've made the pond become ... it's time to lift your energy quotient, and not just with some blow-in Pooh-bear toad ...