In which the pond lines up for a Groaning and a Slapping, but first a visit to ancient Troy ...

 

 

 

The pond usually resists the ancient Troy's attempts to analyse the mango Mussolini, but anyone in News Corp, home of Faux Noise, and therefore by definition kissing cousin with Hannity, Laura, Tuckyo Carlson and all the other Trump arse lickers, deserves attention when he comes up with this remarkable beauty ...

Today Nixon, like Trump, would have prominent media commentators supporting him and willing to propagate his lies. This would be amplified by fringe online media outlets and social media, which would embolden him not to resign. Nixon could mount an insidious disinformation campaign to discredit congressional investigators, the FBI, Supreme Court judges and intrepid journalists, and hold public rallies to protest his innocence.

Amazing really, not a mention of the Fox in the chook house, or the rest of the Murdochian mayhem - unless ancient Troy is including himself in that fringe media outlet of yahoos - and yes, the pond realises it has done a spoiler, gazumped the ancient Troy's pitch, and now must make amends ...

 

 

 

 

See the clever way that the ancient Troy dodges, dances and weaves, and yet the question remains, who worshipped at whose altar? Who's on first base, Watt's the real story?

 

According to one cartoonist, it was this way ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But it was, and amazingly still is, also this ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There's your fringe outlet, right there... which is why the pond was vastly amused by ancient Troy's attempt at an analysis, wreathed in the disguise of Nixon and blather about pre-Fox in chook house days...

 

 

 

"He has no decency, integrity or shame"? What then of News Corp and its mango Mussolini acolytes, who at the very moment they might have stood up, averted their eyes?

 

Yes, the pond has run that one before, so here, have another ...

And so to the remaining gobbet in Troy's dismal, useless offering, and that quote the pond did a gazumping spoiler on ...

 

A dangerous and troubling era in American history? Tell that to News Corp and Faux Noise Troy, or just return to wearing the cap that Dame Slap was so proud to don ... you know, the one she slipped on, before stepping out into the streets of New York to celebrate the elevation of her hero ...

 

And if you happen to work for News Corp, that's the sort of cap you can still wear with Dame Slap pride.

Speaking of Dame Slap, the pond was startled to see that early this morning a special emergency edition of Dame Groan had been rushed out to replace her at the top of the digital page.

Because the pond is a completist, it naturally turned to the Groaning ...

 

It was a short Groaning, and continued the old Groaner's new way of calling a pox on everybody's houses ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naturally the lizard Oz editorialist took up the good coal news and did a dance of joy to the tune of Old King Coal ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The pond didn't know how to join in the celebrations ... perhaps something old and foggy ...

 

 

 

 

Or perhaps something new and blue ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not to worry, here's the rest of the lizard Oz editorial guff ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just the usual reptile guff while in opposition, and so, well down the page, to Dame Slap, and there's a reason for her demotion.

 

The pond has been thinking for some time of banning any piece which contains words such as "woke" or "virtue signalling."

 

Sure, it's a shorthand way of owning the libs, but it's also a key indicator that a maroon is on the loose, and likely to let out a moronic burst of donkey braying ... and sure enough ...

 

 

There you go Troy, this is what happens when your MAGA cap begins to fray and tatter, and look a little mouldy and shop worn ...

You begin to blather about a web of wokery, and use Tom Hanks as the fall guy for a superficial column ... but you make sure you get in a relevant local hook, so the reptiles can slip in a couple of snaps to trade off on the star power ... oh and remember that in a try hard way, the theme is "try-hard wokery", the maroon's guide to shorthand moronic trolling ...

 

By this point, the pond had begun to wonder why Dame Slap had bothered, or the pond had bothered to keep up with Dame Slap.

What next? A treatise on the three act structure? Might not it have been more amusing to do a compare and contrast between Citizen Kane and Citizen Rupert, with the snow globe a kind of metaphor for the mango Mussolini, and what he and Chairman Rupert and worshippers of the Dame Slap kind had done for the States ...

 

 

 

The pond couldn't help but think it was in the presence of a master class of the Dov Simens kind ... or perhaps the sort of advice you might get from Ms Google ...

 

 

 

 

Yes, what a top tip, finish your script, it's so important, and so the pond must finish its Dame Slap assignment, in order to get into the land of make believe at Planet Janet above the faraway tree ...

 

Um, maybe audiences not force fed on Faux Noise nonsense? Maybe stay happy with Rock Hudson pretending to have a thing for Doris Day, and Doris pretending to get moist at the sight of a hard Rock?

Perhaps a trip back to the 1950s, where it was all done behind closed doors?

It was all too tiresome and there were the hearings to attend to ... you know, the thing that Dame Slap took to shanking Hanks to avoid, her worship of the mango Mussolini now to be tucked away in the magical land of make believe ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

You won't find any of that in the lizard Oz, or Dame Slap paying attention - la, la, lah, Tom Hanks, wokery -  it's a Graudian sort of story but it raises a question for the pond.

Who to get to play the mango Mussolini? Well we have Dame Slap as the scriptwriter, so getting a marquee name that would tent-pole a summer blockbuster might be tricky, with some likely to ankle the scene before we even get to turn over on day one ...

Oh shoot, time for a Rowe, harking back to the Groaning, before the pond lined up for its ritual slapping ... with the coaladas on him or the pond, and the nibbles on the planet...