Start a blog? Start a Hewson blog?! Frog off ...
No one cares about blogs anymore, those days are gone, and all that's left are ashes in the mouth and arcane herpetological studies, and the pond perforce forced to ban the savvy Savva for all the trouble she's caused ...
And so to a forensic examination of the reptile headlines of the day, and what do you know, there's petulant Peta at the top of the digital page, adding visual offence to injury ...
We need to talk about immigration policy? Not with you petulant Peta, upwardly mobile only thanks to the Peta principle being in play ...
You might need to talk about immigration policy, but for the pond you're just a haunting, haunted spectre from the old days ...
Not that they didn't deserve to be shouted at, lectured, hectored and herded like the sheep they were, but those days are gone ...
As for blowing the Games bid, no one else wanted it. Poor old toads, sold another dummy and yet delusionally joyful about it. If only the pond could muster that level of delusion, or perhaps bank an amount equivalent to the sum the Japanese have pissed against the wall on the current Olympics disaster ...
Never mind, the pond will be long gone before the Olympics visit Brisbane, and this will be the last mention of the Olympics in the next few weeks - the pond has some pride left - and all that was left out of that assortment of headlines - excluding fool's gold standard Gladys - was "Ned" as the alleged voice of authority rebooted, a wondrous reptile comedy item, almost up there with starting a blog.
Inevitably the pond turned to the rebooted voice of "Ned" first up, version 1.00001 ...
Actually Australia is fighting Covid with a couple of vaccines disabled thanks to the sublime level of incompetence and lack of foresight in Scotty from marketing's mob, going all in on the one, and forgetting about a Plan B for the other ...
As for Scotty v. the experts, this jab by "Ned" will need at least a couple more substantial gobbets if the pond or anyone else is to be convinced by the coal-flourishing dude, who believes in the laying on of healing hands and the speaking in tongues to imaginary friends. Please, carry on at length, "Ned" ...
That's it? Listen to the audio? And is that whole epic outing going to be turned into a podcast? How wretched can things get on a Thursday?
Start a blog? Or do a reboot podcast and get laughed at until the cows come home? Or get root canal treatment?
So what else was happening?
A dream is realised? Poor deluded fool. Like the current Tokyo dreaming?
The lizard Oz editorialist giving the deluded toads the thumbs up? Then they must truly be doomed.
Some other reptile having another go at the states, when he might have been better off trying to help out nattering "Ned" and hapless SloMo? Pass, do not go to go, go directly to tedium ...
So the pond had to settle for the bromancer and the ongoing war on China.
The pond is almost as tired of the reptiles blathering on about the war on China as it is by talk of the glories of the Olympics, but any port in what is becoming a commentariat wasteland below the fold ...
Yes, we must tilt at windmills, we must dance with the dragon, we must return to the days of the cult master, because, let's face it, a few flags won't help the bromancer cut it as he battles the dragon ...
Yes, yes, and thank the long absent lord everything is fine elsewhere in the digital world ...
Oh sorry, wrong paper, UAE good, must tell the Donald that, Israel good, must remind Jared of that, and just carry on using that phone ... the Murdochians know how that's done, don't they ... though they hate to be reminded of those days, and anything like that ...
How the bromancer yearns for future military conflict, and never mind that we'll be sending out the tanks ... and just as you can trust SloMo in the matter of vaccines, you can admire him as a master war strategist ...
Patently absurd? Surely "nuts" is the correct word here... and so the pond turned to the infallible Pope for reassurance that the country's security is currently in the best possible hands ...
Hmm, a Hawaiian style shirt as the way forward? Not quite what the pond had hoped for ...
And so to a bonus, with the pond forced to look to the middle section for a bout of ABC bashing ...
Ah Gina doing real estate, and the Coates bullying already begun, but the pond promised not to talk of deluded toads, or the Olympics, and so it was Nicolle Flint that got the nod.
Flint? The name is familiar, redolent of the pond's days with Steele Hall and Don Dunstan and assorted storms in teacups and the great aunts getting agitated on the verandah beneath the wisteria ...
Is it possible to blatantly misrepresent conservative loons?
Sorry, wrong paper, more on the barking mad Xians howling at the moon here ...
Actually the pond is in a dilemma here. The pond has absolutely no interest in the show, and also takes a dim view of politicians who feed the reptile paywall.
Do they have the first clue that viewers wanting to heed the clarion call to give the ABC a hard time must first stump up thirty shekels or pieces of silver to Chairman Rupert so they can access politicians alleging they're speaking to the people?
And what's with the photos? Is the piece so feeble that it needs visual padding?
The pond has a profound pity for the staffer that was made to do that numbers count, but then summoned up an enormous laugh at the Flinty one's feeble defence of the onion muncher ...
Pull the other leg duckie ... and really did we need any more snaps? If so, why not a good one?
You'd have to be a real fuckwit, dearie, to think that the good old days have been laid to rest ...
Good old Cory mentioned? How could that be? He was so cut ...
But do go on ...
Say what? You've got more snaps of your own?
Please excuse the pond for separating them out and marking them down, what with poor old Mandy having done down by the fiends at Nine, and now dumped on by Nicolle, lumped together with Juliar ... when we should be ditching witches ...
Say what? Imagine if every single one of these Australians had to pay thirty shekels or pieces of silver to Chairman Rupert to read the thoughts of an Australian politician? And then every single one of them would complain about being able to tune into the ABC?
In your dreams Flinty, your delusional dreams of the Murdoch-paying masses rising up to complain and whine and moan in the absurd way you've just done ...
Please, next time let your staffers off the tiresome duty of watching the show to do a numbers count.
Luckily the pond could turn as usual to the immortal Rowe for a wrap-up, bringing the themes of the day together, with more Rowe wrappers here ...
A surprisingly good piece from Bernard Keane behind the paywall at Crikey. Covers Neds marathon yesterday under the headline "Angry bloviator yells at capitalism when markets ‘fail’ on climate"
ReplyDeletehttps://www.crikey.com.au/2021/07/21/angry-bloviator-yells-at-capitalism-when-markets-fail-on-climate/
Makes the point that unfettered market power was good "when it meant crushing unions, undermining wages, removing environmental regulation, reducing corporate taxes and allowing large corporations to dictate policy. Not so great now."
Something about sowing and reaping I think.
Yeah, well I guess Neddles wasn't around when 'the financials' had to tell a large established industry that they weren't financing horse breeders and stables and horse-drawn carriages any more because motor cars were taking over. And then telling the 'gaslight' industry that they weren't financing gaslight manufacturers any more because electric light was taking over.
DeleteBicycle manufacturers partially survived, but telegrams have basically "gone the way". There's still fax machines around, though.
That's the trouble with Homo Saps Saps, isn't it - always wanting to change things to make fortunes for new boys on the block, and take fortunes away from the old blokes. Well. it is the trouble now - we really didn't do a whole lot of anything much for the first 195,000 years or so of our species' existence.
Yes, it was good BF, and the pond was thinking of running a bit of it next time that "Ned" stuck his head up like an unthinking meerkat
DeleteWhat, the next time Ned takes us past 'the machine that goes bing' so that we can get a better deal on our socio-economic setup ?
DeleteDP to the Flinty: "Please, next time let your staffers off the tiresome duty of watching the show to do a numbers count. " But before you do, Nicolle, and then give us those exciting numbers (28 vs 66 and 33 vs 48) again, have them count up how many women have been elected as LNP members and senators compared with how many elected as Labor, Democrat and Greens members and senators, and how long the LNP has been in government compared to Labor, Democrats and Greens. I think you might just find that on the numbers quoted, LNP women have been somewhat over-represented.
ReplyDeleteBut then that's all down to those hateful quotas that LNP women are campaigning so determinedly against. Though do please keep up the (hopefully platonic) love affair with little Johnny Howard; as only the second Australian PM to lose his own 'safe' seat in a catastrophic landslide election defeat, he needs a lot of stories told about just how great he was.
I have been watching ‘Ms Represented’, although not so obsessively that I have timed how much talk time seemed to be allocated to each party. Having been aware of senators Vanstone and Stott Despoja in our time in Adelaide, was particularly interested in their experiences. Amanda, of course, was not blessed with immediate offspring, although Christopher Pyne still seems ever willing to play a substitute with her. Natasha spoke of reactions to her having a child with her in Canberra. In particular - the response in certain ‘news’papers of the time.
ReplyDeleteAs she put it ’One columnist who wrote a brutal article’ - and up on the screen popped the article, which began - ‘If Natasha Stott Despoja really wanted to make a stand for balancing work and family she could have stayed away from Federal Parliament. But instead she brought along her 11-week-old son Conrad, and installed him and his baby paraphernalia in her parliamentary office.’
The image included the smiling face of the author, one Sally Morrell. Faint connection in the memory bank - try the ‘Wiki’ - ah, married to Andrew Bolt. Presumably mother to the son James, who had gone into the pay of - yep - IPA.
As far as I could decipher from the screen shot, the rest of that column descended into Ms Morrell recounting her own travails with raising a child. It may or may not have included acknowledgement of her husband’s stirling efforts to take on more of the domestic labour in their household - it did not come up in its entirety.
Sometimes I think, if we didn’t have the reptiles, someone might have invented them, but, really, it probably was beyond the wit of our best authors of this time to invent characters like the Bolts, Kroger-Janet, endless Shanahams.
Fair go, Chad, would you want have been brought by Andrew Bolt as an 'involved parent' ? Just look at what he (and Ms Morrell) did produce anyway.
DeleteOh, and to save you all further investigation of William Coleman - his book 'Their Fiery Cross of Union: A Retelling of the Creation of the Australian Federation, 1889-1914' is out this week, published by Connor Court, which is an infallible guide to books not to be taken from their shelves. Well, the title is a booklet in itself, which should suffice.
ReplyDeleteBTW Bef, since you appear to be interested in this kind of stuff:
ReplyDeleteWind turbines off the coast could help Australia become an energy superpower, research finds
https://theconversation.com/wind-turbines-off-the-coast-could-help-australia-become-an-energy-superpower-research-finds-164590
But hardly a "superpower" unless we can export lots of that lovely energy. Some as ammonia, of course, but we will be adding Indonesia and Singapore to the grid, won't we.
Note the reference to Gippsland. Have I ever mentioned how much and how often the wind blows on the East Gippsland coast ? Well, it doesn't matter because Maj. Mitch. has, with his usual total reptile infallibility, told us that "Renewable inputs quickly fade near the end of each day..." so I guess that means even the East Gippsland wind hits the off-switch just before sunset.
And just as a side issue about how idiotic multi-bullionaires can be, this quote from Geff Bezos: “When you get up there, and you see it, you see how tiny it is and how fragile it is. We need to take all heavy industry, all polluting industry and move it into space.”
Both sides of Bass Strait - wonder why they talk about the 'roaring 40s'.
DeleteQuite a bit of tidal range to play with as well.
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DeleteAh well, the roaring 40s are what brought British ships across from the Cape of Good Hope to Australia, which is why Perth was founded (in 1829) six years before Melbourne and Portland a year before Melbourne. And probably why Perth became a penal colony (in 1849) and Melbourne never did.
Delete** Just did this correction to make you feel better **
Delete"Realising these opportunities from offshore wind will take time and proactive policy and planning" - guess we are screwed then!
Isn't it strange how the supposedly advanced nations seem incapable of policy responses to any real crisis? Look at the northern hemisphere at the moment. If countries aren't under water they are on fire and they keep doing the thing that's unthinkable in Oz, attributing it to climate change.
Here in Oz we have the Bromancer beating the drums of war - what a fvckwit!
THis may be a harbinger for tomorrow's Holey Henry - but the Connor Court site for the book of long title, includes this encomium -
ReplyDelete‘Better than any other account, Their Fiery Cross of Union shatters the myths Australians have cherished about Federation. It both sets out those myths and—in gripping prose—exposes their limitations and contradictions. Using, without ever being heavy-handed, all the tools of modern social science, it mercilessly tests the claims of Federation’s staunchest advocates and compares them to explanations which make sense of events. At the same time, it brilliantly presents the protagonists in the Federation story, removing the protective sheen which has so often been used to protect them. A riveting story, it has all the hallmarks of a classic’. - Henry Ergas"
Ah, well, a chance to see just how good you are at precognition, Chad.
DeleteAnd to see just how bad Holely Henry's present cognition is.
Sorry Chadders, they always disappoint, it's in their nature, but perhaps next week ...
Delete