In which the pond swears it will stick with the usual reptile denialism ...

 

The pond woke up this morning to the BBC World Service's Crowd Science show discussing swearing, and promoting various theories on its benefits, such as being like a form of stress-induced analgesia. 

There were two main theories of why it could offer relief - sound-based satisfaction, or taboo theory satisfaction, with the latter favoured (what with chimps engaging in sign language swearing because of its taboo-like, three year old poo joke aspects).

But the pond did have some disagreements with the show. They seemed consternated that Australians might swear wildly while in some company, but apply the taboo severely in wider circles, when we all know that we have our very own Moonee Ponds in our hearts ... (or you can take the lad out of Camberwell, but you can never take the Camberwell out of the lad as he ages).

They also seemed to think that swearing in a second language might be problematic.

But the pond finds swearing in a second language therapeutic and a relief. How many times has the pond woken up thinking of having to deal with the reptiles another day and then thinking Wo ich hintrete nur Scheiße! (here)

Here's an example which sprang naturally to the lips as the pond inspected today's offerings ...

 

Scheisse! They now have prattling Polonius on a Tuesday?! They're so anxious to have a go at the ABC that they've brought the old goat forward from Friday? And then he promises to double down with another Friday bout? Scheisse squared!

And merde has been a great relief, ever since the pond learned that Rimbaud allegedly engraved Merde à Dieu on the benches of Charleville, though in the pond's case it would be better to think Merde à Chairman Rupert, except that even as an atheist the pond realises the Chairman is not worth a comparison to God ...

Whatever, the pond was determined not to discuss the Meghan matter. The reptiles had disgraced themselves yesterday with a knee-jerk response by some British loon imported from The Times, demanding that the offending pair be stripped of their titles forthwith (off with her oddly skin toned head). You know, the usual British toffy stuff ...

 

Ah the Royal Close Stool, but the pond was determined to keep it business as usual, and so settled for some Dame Groan denialism ...

 

 

 

As usual with Dame Groan, there were the usual mispresentations, aka bald faced lies, all in the name of climate science and renewables denialism, and these days she does it so cheaply too ... and so we head back to Texas for more of the usual, though we should remember ...

 

 

 

 

And at the start, in the middle and at the end of a Dame Groan piece on energy, there's always reality being ignored ...

 

 

 

The pond thought it would leave that link in, just to show how the reptiles' relentless campaigning and denialism works. Not satisfied with Dame Groan alone for your denialism? Still needing another fix? Why not head off to the government cash in the paw man for a bit of Comrade Dan bashing, complete with Luddite reference, because who but a genuine luddite would think it a meaningful term of abuse? Scheisse ...

Now back to the shameless lies and misrepresentations ...

 

Coal would have saved the day? Always with the coal, driven by the sweet love of dinkum, sweet, innocent, pure, virginal Oz coal, always standing by to save the world with a leap and a bound ...

Now the pond isn't going to bother to argue with Groan. That only leads to tears and scheisse. Others have reported on the outages, as at Business Insider here ...

All the pond could think was scheisse, or perhaps "scheißekopf", though the pond understands that this makes no sense in German, and it might be better to use good old-fashioned dummkopf or schweinhund ...

 

The point, it should go without saying, is that Dame Groan has been beavering away with climate science denialism for years now, always with saucy doubts and fears being raised, but without the larger issues and problems ever being treated seriously ...

As for Texas, they just had their Enron moment, but you won't hear Dame Groan spruiking the benefits of sensible government regulation ... not if it means giving pure, sweet, innocent dinkum Oz coal a hard time ...

Then scheisse, talk about being a glutton for punishment, the pond lined up for another go around with the government cash in the paw man ...

 

Look, there he is, the figure the reptiles routinely pile in on when they haven't got anything better to do, like work out the movement of flood waters in quarries, and cop a huge pay out for the pleasure thereof, as a reward for expertise in science ...

And lo, see that link again? There's how it works. Not satisfied with the Caterist talk of Luddites? Not satisfied with the Caterist talking up coal seam gas? Why not hop over to Dame Groan misrepresenting the state of Texas. Soon enough you'll find yourself lost in the world of Escher and dreaming of impossible shapes ...

Scheisse! How dummkopf of the pond to expect anything different or better ...

 

Hysteria moi? More like shamelessness as a government cash in the paw funded way of Menzies Research Centre life ... but at least there's just a  short gobbet of the usual to go ...

 

Meanwhile, on another planet and in another newspaper, the pond could feel the howl of pain of First Dog here ...

 

And so to a bonus, which the pond offers as a curiosity, in the form of a header and two gobbets ... and a complete cluelessness, as an old codger tries to come to grips with youff and the absent God and all that scheisse ...

 

 

 

 

The pond knew that it was jumping the shark and nuking the fridge when it reached a reference to Deadwood. 

 

Everyone with half a brain knows that the cocksucker show jumped the shark when it reached the wedding, as all cocksucker shows do when they run out of steam, and that a wild indulgence in swearing was about all the show really offered that made it slightly different to the standard western ... but do go on ...

 

Thank the long absent lord that the absent-minded prof didn't lead with Westworld ... but the pond does understand the impulse.

Why else would it get up every morning and read the lizard Oz, instructing it to love coal and hate renewables and Comrade Dan, and all the other things it needs to believe in?

Or other newsworthy bits and pieces like the need to strip those rebels of their titles ...

(Here)

But back to the prof, grappling with existential dilemmas, and wanting to do a Thornbirds, because you know, priests and fucking, and so delicious to yearn for a frocked one, and oh scheisse ...

The Messiah is forgotten, but his archetype continues to throb at the heart of Western culture?

So that explains Donald Trump and Fox News and the Chairman and all that scheisse?

At last the pond understood the meaning of it all: the crying is over, and now the tears can begin ... or perhaps instead, the pond should just settle for its usual dose of Rowe for the wrap ... with more wrapping Rowe here ...