In which the pond celebrates international day of the reptiles ...

 

Pshaw, you can keep your international days of whatever, Monday is always international Major Mitchell day at the pond, celebrating his and the reptiles never-ending war with the ABC ...

 

 

 

The pond apologises from the get go, but the reptiles are obsessed, and it is not the pond's business to stand in the way of their obsession, especially as Four Corners is likely enough designed to set them off again tonight ... but before that, on with the Major ...

 

With the greatest respect, or none at all, the current controversies bear no comparison with the Pell matter. 

Why, in a fit of generosity, the pond will even concede that the current controversies have nothing to do with the Major''s failure to turn up that long-lost Order of Lenin medal, or contemplate facts in the reptile war on climate science, or whatever else you might have.

But as usual the Major seeks a diversion, and how diverting is the ongoing, never-ending war with the ABC ...

The Major has a disturbing tendency to quote other reptiles as it that offers some kind of irrefutable proof, especially when it turns into a bout of whataboutism ... but that's what we're celebrating this day ...

 

And now back to the Major, still in the trenches ... and let us not forget that an important part of the war is to blame the victim, subvert and undermine the victim, while piously pretending some sympathy with the victim, and even purporting some understanding ... and no doubt nattering "Ned" will at some point be mentioned, his pontifications clear and evidentiary proof that the reptiles love nothing better than being up each other ...

 

Please allow the pond to ignore the Major's speculations about the parents' feelings. Sure it's ironic that he accuses others of speculation, only so he might himself indulge in speculation, but at this point, the pond is forced to note that reptiles interrupted the Major to insert a shot of the Pellist ... 

And as usual nothing has been said about the many victims of the Catholic church, or the injustice they suffered at the hands of the Pellists and others in the church, so the pond thought it should make that illustration as small as possible, and note the ongoing suffering of victims, routinely ignored by the reptiles, before turning back to the Major for one last gobbet ...

 

With the greatest respect, or none at all, the Major doesn't have the first clue about what might be a key line of inquiry, and he is, with the greatest respect, or none at all, indulging in the same sort of non-evidentiary speculation that he routinely accuses the ABC of ... but why is the pond surprised, since the Major has always avoided evidence, whether it be Order of Lenin medals, climate science or pretty much anything else ...

And so to take a look at what's on hand further down the digital page ...

 

 

 

Please allow the pond to dispense with Claire Lehmann in a par, because she's ostensibly about free thinking, which in reptile land means fuzzy thinking ...

 

Fuck the pond dead, and quick about it please, what a clueless misunderstanding of power, and power relationships, and the abuse of power ...

How could even a reformed, recovering feminist find herself in such clueless company, and yet there the Oreo was ...

Again the pond has to apologise from the get go, but the reptiles are obsessed, and determined to keep the controversy alive, so the hapless pond, a mere cork on the reptile ocean, a leaf in the reptile wind, must float or blow along with them ... and this time it's Malware's chance to join the ABC is copping a serve ...

Ah, more blaming and shaming of the victim, a tactic worthy of a reformed and recovering feminist, but the good news is that there's only one sordid gobbet to go ..

 

Or it's simply possible to write a column demeaning those who suffer from bipolar disorder ... well done, recovering, reformed feminist ...

At this point, the pond can hear a reader lamenting "is that all there is?" and perhaps humming the song as well ... 

Yes, the pond does suffer from delusions and hallucinations, but in any case, heard the phantom reader's cry (please, try to sing in key, as you would at a Republican conference), and decided to look at the top of the digital page ...

Hmm, pretty much business as usual at reptile HQ, but what's this? A bromancer celebrating the day with a piece about Linda Reynolds? That can't be good ...

The pond had an ominous feeling. The bromancer was going to show the real reptile style. What to do with someone in a difficult place? 

Put them down in the Murdochian way, better to be cruel than feign kindness. Perhaps an ice pick in the back of the neck, Trotsky style, or a bolt to the brain, in the cattle at the abattoir way, or even that inventive method on show in that great Cohen Brothers' movie No Country for Old or Stressed Women ...

 

Brutal. And at this point, the pond is forced to wonder how soon the pragmatists of the Murdochian bromancer kind will turn their attention to Christian Porter, forget all that has been written (in the manner seen above) and sell him down the river. Blame it all on the ABC and Malware and move along people, nothing to see here ...

At this point the pond wondered why the reptiles, having ignored what the international day was supposed to be about, hadn't at least attempted some other kind of culture war distraction ... perhaps borrowed from the United States, where high comedy is still done in style ...

 

But no, the bromancer is after a scalp. Wish the scalp well, but then proceed with the scalping ...

 

And that's it for whatever this day was supposed to be celebrating - perhaps fear and loathing of the ABC, Malware and victims everywhere - and so the pond decided to celebrate with a Rowe cartoon, with more celebrations always to hand here ...