The pond approached the morning with a dread sense of fear. Today was traditionally the hole in the bucket man's day, but could he resist the urge to talk of that dreadful actress?
The top of the page looked ominous, because the reptiles can never give up the chance to show off the cheap hussy ... how else to make the digital edition a compelling read, avoid churn and keep those subscribers flocking to the reptile cause?
What would the ancient Greeks, Romans and perhaps even Karl Marx have to say about the prince and the showgirl?
As it turned out, the pond needn't have worried, because our Henry's response to the singular crisis was also singular ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, how cruel, and yet how cunning, of the reptiles to sweep us back to the days of the Brexiting Eton toff with that photo ...
The pond was immediately carried off to Steve Bell's cartoon celebrating the Eton toff's Brexiting resignation, here ...
Well you might be able to push a condom only so far, but the pond discovered with relief that you can keep on pushing Magna Carta up hill, and down the hole in the bucket man's dale ...
The pond should have realised that our Henry would be game to promote any Institute of Public Affairs publication, because nothing shouts freedom to the skies more than obeisance to Gina's money ... nothing says enduring impact more than fealty of vassals to Gina's cash ...and as usual, all those wretched continental counterparts missed the boat, though the pond has to say it's passing funny to see all the right wing Yanks leap to royalty's defence in recent days ...
Sorry, the pond should return to the truly unique Britain being celebrated by our devout Henry ...
And so to a wrap up ...
Oh come on, that's a bit hard, but let's face it, these bloody republics with their revolutionary utopianism, are a shameless waste. Why didn't they just pay the tax on tea, and accept George the III's generous, heart-warming style.?
Who knows they might have made a decent movie out of it, like The Madness of King George, as opposed to mad Mel in The Patriot ...
Hmm, that's terribly cryptic. All these attacks on the heritage and its achievements are so damaging? Is that a covert reference, a sideswipe at some American hussy, coming across the Atlantic to ruin the monarchy in the style of that dreadful Wallis Simpson woman, when all the future king wanted to do was get on board with Adolf?
But be fair, once again, our Henry has delivered an enormous amount of bollocks in his usual style, and even managed to work in the Romans and Plutarch, and so the pond's day can start with a serve of the straw man's usual irrelevant nonsense ...
And that's just as well, because the reptiles were in despair elsewhere ...
Oh dear, more pain, more misery.
Never mind, there were bright minds on hand to ask compelling questions ...
Poor old Josh, done down by politics... and so for a little ballast, the pond turned to the sacristan Sexton, attempting the maintenance of SloMo's building ...
The pond couldn't help but be triggered. The reptiles keep on putting up these photos at the top of the story, and then suddenly the pond finds itself being reminded of that story in another rag, Air-fair? Cut-price flights will land in marginal seats ...
A large, well-fed pig in a barrel accompanies the Morrison government’s announcement of the $1.2 billion tourism subsidy (“Cut-price flights to help lift tourism”, March 11). Of the 13 tourism regions to benefit from the cut-price ticket subsidy, eight are in marginal seats and four of the five others are in safe Coalition seats. The ALP and Greens-voting Byron Bay holiday region scores precisely zilch funding. That’ll teach them ...
Yes, bloody hippies, teach 'em a lesson, larn 'em good.
Thank the long absent lord that Magna Carta preserved the holy right to pork barrel, but please do go on, sacristan Sexton, the pond apologises for interrupting before you even got started ...
The federal government has gained little for its handling of the pandemic? Could that be because Scotty from marketing headed off to the footy, leaving it all to the state premiers, so that the reptiles could routinely rail against same?
It probably depends on which rag you read, whether you're slumping with the Graudian or soaring with the reptiles ...
Never mind, a bit of pork barreling will show off strategic policy thinking at its finest, though it seems that the suffering Sexton is determined to be as gloomy as the savvy Savva.
At least he kept his anatomy of melancholy short ... and at least he managed to look on the bright side of life ...
Well that was a short piece about nothing, a bout of piffle up there with Diary of a Nobody, but at least it did prepare the ground for the Rowe of the day, with more Rowe here ...
The Henry’s penultimate paragraph does refer to the foundation myth of Magna Carta - and goes on to maintain the myth that it is a ‘lodestar of freedom’.
ReplyDeleteIf one might cite an acknowledged historian - Asa Briggs - the 1215 document came about because of disputes about taxation. As Briggs puts it ‘pressure on the pocket is more quickly felt than pressure on the mind.’ (while conceding that men’s clothing of the time did not include pockets).
It did include a list of associated gripes - the king’s fish weirs were not highly regarded in a country of perhaps 4 million people, where 80% of the population were rural dwellers, and every stream had a salmon run.
It would seem that ‘talented young historian’ Gorman may have followed the line of so many others in expanding interpretation of the various Cartas and Charters. A quick ‘Google’ shows that he is a steady contributor to journals of little repute, like ‘Spectator’, where his words are indistinguishable from what the other DWAGs have been writing about covid, statues (not statutes) and the Murray-Darling, so - unlikely that his magnum opus (see what I did there!?) is worth the trouble of sending money to the IPA in hope of finding new scholarship.
But the Henry did get to insert ‘inspeximus’ into the Flagship.
Well now, Chad, one of our better known blogger/intellects (Nicholas Gruen to be specific) once credited Our 'Enry with being a man of prodigious readership and extraordinary memory (though whether photographic, eidetic or hyperthymesic he did not specify). So if that were true, surely 'Enry would have chastened Gorman for not one single mention of William (the) Marshall: famous knight who served five English kings – Henry II, his sons the "Young King" Henry, Richard I, John, and John's son Henry III - as regent until the 9yo Henry III could take over).
DeleteAnd it was William who 'rescued' Carta Magna from the oblivion to which John had consigned it and got it on the go again. But mainly William, in conjunction with Henry III propagated the Carta Foresta which for at least 5 centuries was way more important than Carta Magna - after all, what did Carta Magna ever do for the Tolpuddle Martyrs ?
But Carta Foresta put English yoemen back into the English forests, ensured fish in the streams, fruit on the trees, crops in the fields, water in the canals and generally did actually create and maintain that "green and pleasant land".
And not one single mention of him ?