In which the pond has a natter with "Ned" and groans with the Groaner ...

 

 

About the only thing that gets the pond up and focused on the reptiles these days is the always impending sense that a dollop of rich irony will be served up at the top of the digital page ... and sure enough, there was the pompous old white male to hand lecturing women on what must be done (usually in the kitchen and the laundry but now in the coalition), while across the way there's an EXCLUSIVE report on Karen Andrews ...

Of course that meant the pond had to run with "Ned", because the pond can never get enough of his portentous posturing and endless Chicken Little handwringing ...

And while speaking of ironies, which reptile chose that shot of a haughty, disdainful, sneering, supercilious Payne to get things going?

 

Um actually there's a few other problems going on here, and it's not just the issue of faceless women ... 

Might the pond humbly draw attention to a story in Crikey here ... it's paywall protected, but the opening gives a hint of the argument ... along with a photo worthy of the one the reptiles selected for Payne ...

 

Well yes, given the behaviour of the government in sundry matters, let alone its current woes, how to get a Cash to fix things in an increasingly cash-less society?

But enough of puns, it's no joke for the hapless whistleblowers, as we return to "Ned" for more bloviating ...

 

Only a "Ned", doing diligent Pravda service, could follow that summary, and that shallow echo of the Abbott years (where was "Ned" then, where were the reptiles?) with a "sounds good" ... as if the shit heaped on Gillard could suddenly disappear into the fertiliser bin of history ...

 

 

Ah memories, but don't think that things changed, as women learned the talking points that would get them ahead in right wing politics la la land, like little Bronnie and Sophie clones (hear the one about Sophie being appointed to a plum Fair Work job?)

Again the pond had to revert to Crikey here (also paywalled) for the beginning of another yarn ...

 

Uh huh ... sounds good, or so "Ned" says ...

 

An outrageous allegation? What was outrageous was the attempt to deploy the fig leaf, pretend it would all go away, refuse to make any inquiries, and then wonder why the shit hit the fan ... though as always the pond can console itself with a Rowe, with more consoling Rowe here ...

 

The answer? Why I stood alongside a fearless fighter and basked in his praise ...

"How good is that sexist Tony Abbott? Did he serve it up to Juliar or what?", the prime minister said to cheers and claps from the crowd. "Don't be too quiet tonight, quietly sexist Australians. I want you to be a bit noisy tonight, as we celebrate our goodly sexist knight!"(Sorry, the pond couldn't resist improvising, the real quote is at SBS here).

And so to the rest of the reptile wasteland this day in search of a bonus item ...

 

Dame Slap, railing in her usual IPA way about class actions? Well IPA grifters gotta grift, but there's no reason for the pond to pay attention to every grifting word ...

Some loon railing about zero confidence in hapless health authority? All the more funny to see when the federal government has been derelict, slack arsed and completely useless in rolling out the vaccine, as even the tree killer edition noted (along with that hellish EXCLUSIVE) ...

 

Luckily that story about a tax-free ride for electric cars reminded the pond of a valuable contribution it had missed yesterday from Dame Groan ... which managed to roll together an epic bout of hagiography and Groan's usual fear and loathing of anything green tinged ...

 

 

 

Note Dame Groan's talk of "read greener" as she goes about the business of burnishing up Cormann ... the lad has always been a good solid devotee of dinkum Oz coal, as was the wretch next to him in this story in the Graudian here, way back when ... 

 

 

And so on, and just that story is enough to see why Dame Groan thinks so highly of him ...

 

Uh huh ... yes, Australia has a tremendous record on shipping coal around the world, and if the Europeans were gullible enough to fall for a Cormann spreadsheet, they deserve everything they fail to do when it comes to the fucking up of the planet ...

But of course Dame Groan is a devoted climate science denialist so it's all good ...

There it is, that paranoia and fear of the hard green-left. In a way, Dame Groan reminds the pond of one of its ancient aunts, who held the superstition that Green was a very bad colour, sure to bring misery and despair if worn. She apparently didn't understand that her fear of the colour, and her love of everything Orange, came from an ancient feud in another country ...

There's something of the same musty superstition in Dame Groan's willingness to root out all talk of climate science, and the possible consequences of where we're heading ... oh, and just to add to the joy, Dame Groan takes a snipe at a couple of women ... along with all that nonsense about inclusion and sustainability and equitable green growth, all dangerous shibboleths to the Groaner ...

 

Uh huh. And so for anyone looking for an understanding of how SloMo ended up here, having started from a Groaning coal loving there, they need look no further than the reptiles and its shining stars, such as Dame Groan ...

But please shed no tears for the Groan ... she knows everything about sustainable equity, at least for those who remember this story ... (soft SMH paywall)

 

Indeed, indeed, who wouldn't look startled, made richly redundant and yet still on hand to go into a reptile therapy session each week about the dangers of wearing the colour Green ...

Not to worry, it's time to wrap things up with a startling effort by the infallible Pope showing the state of the deck chairs on this version of the Titanic ...