Your reptile task today, should you accept it, is to downplay or justify or perhaps even celebrate the US response to the virus. All reptile rhetorical tricks are allowed …
Is there anyone better placed in the entire, vast, very infinite universe to listen to the tape, blow up their 8 track and accept the task than the bromancer?
A cautious beginning, a good ploy, a feint … look at the dire shape of the world as a form of distraction. Beautifully played, and now perhaps a snipe at comrade Dan before moving on to just mention the American situation, without going into awkward questions of who might be responsible for masks somehow becoming part of the culture wars …
Please, after that little visual interlude, bromancer, show off your rhetorical skills ...
The US thought it was over? Not really, it was the Donald that thought it was over … while bystanders and idle observers marvelled at the folly, and some even diligently recorded it ...
Even more denialism, including the very early outings, at WaPo in The more than 60 times Trump downplayed the coronavirus threat …
Now this is tricky, especially for defenders of the US performance, including the bromancer, but please, don't underestimate the skills that reptiles bring to such tasks ...
You see, it was Cuomo who presided over a disaster, and some of his policies contributed to the disaster, but a skilled reptile will stop there, and avoid many mention of the Donald and his valuable contributions …
And now on with more distractions, and feints and ploys … and wisely the bromancer will now do a pirouette and skip around all this, and Tulsa, and southern governors and their Donald-loving ways, and focus on the failings of comrade Dan ...
What considerations might those be? You see, it's a baited hook, designed to keep readers on the right path, and not distracted by other considerations … but there are many considerations worth considering ...
Please set aside those considerations that can be found elsewhere, and focus on the bromancer message ...
Uh huh, but what about our rights? Surely we must retain our Donald-given rights ...
And now, as justification of why the pond gave the job to the bromancer, the pond offers the dropkick loser dog botherer's feeble attempt to cover the same turf …
The dog botherer had to be marked down because he decided to use his own initiative and introduce a slavish dose of lickspittle hagiography into his work, and it was far too obvious …
Sniping at comrade Dan is an easy trick, but blathering on about the infinite wisdom and understanding of our fearless leader requires a level of skill that only a Tom Cruise flying high above the earth with Scientological wisdom might have mastered ...
So quickly and easily they forget the days when SloMo thought that going to the footy was the right response, and had to be shamed out of it, with the call for him to show a little leadership and foresight actually coming from a couple of state premiers with more of a clue …
That video's at the Graudian here ...
You see, if you lump together the British, the US and the Hong Kong governments (how did Xi get into this?), no one will notice recent poll results, as here …
But a bigger issue for the pond was whether the dog botherer would manage to work in a mention of climate science, and those dastardly 'leets ...
It's a nice flourish, coming as it does from the carper in chief at the lizard Oz, but besides his failure to mention climate science and his very unique ability to stick his head up his own and SloMo's arse, the pond would rather heap praise on the public health officials, the medical system and the medical practitioners who took the virus seriously and saved the country from the reptiles, the likes of Killer Creighton, and the uncertain understanding of politicians slow to grasp the scale of the approaching viral hurricane … made all the worse by the reaction of the likes of Killer Creighton when we actually managed to dodge the bullets still spraying around the United Sates ...
And so to nattering "Ned", and here the pond must issue a health warning. This section is only for specialists, and anyone feeling a little weak at the knees already, thanks to the bromancer and dog botherer, should proceed no further. The pond disclaims any liability for mental or physical impairments suffered while slogging through "Ned" ...
But why the disclaimer? Well in his usual way, nattering "Ned" is determined to bore Xi into submission, and as a result, some readers will tend to fall by the wayside, as if they've been marching with Alec Guinness to build that bridge over the river Kwai …
Only the bravest of the brave will summon up the sinews and endure ...
There's nothing like a good natter, while as the infallible Pope notes, blather really isn't where it's at …
Yes, the pond realises its responsibility and there will be cartoon stations along the way … because there's going to be a lot of blather, but not much deed or action to match the word, to the point where even "Ned" might feel compelled to take off the blinkers for a nanosecond ...
Indeed, indeed, and if we were thinking of the 1930s, might we confuse Singapore with Hong Kong?
Or perhaps the gate of Heavenly Peace?
Never mind, watch how quickly things can be put in reverse. We're not really in competition with China, and even poor old rhetorical "Ned" is forced to note the gap between his rhetorical nattering and actual action ...
Around this point in a "Ned" piece, the pond usually begins to hallucinate … and that talk of an "ever-closer" US alliance served as a trigger for the pond to wander off …
Ah but it's not just dictator for life in Russia that our ally loves, he also loves freedom-loving China …
“He then, stunningly, turned the conversation to the coming U.S. presidential election, alluding to China’s economic capability to affect the ongoing campaigns, pleading with Xi to ensure he’d win,” Bolton writes. “He stressed the importance of farmers, and increased Chinese purchases of soybeans and wheat in the electoral outcome. I would print Trump’s exact words but the government’s prepublication review process has decided otherwise.”
At the same meeting, Xi also defended China’s construction of camps housing as many as 1 million Uighur Muslims in Xinjiang — and Trump signaled his approval. “According to our interpreter,” Bolton writes, “Trump said that Xi should go ahead with building the camps, which Trump thought was exactly the right thing to do.” (WaPo here)
But do go on, let's not bother to weave the likes of Erdogan into the sorry story …
Indeed, indeed, and those subs in 2050 will help us defeat the new alliance …
Well it wouldn't be "Ned" if he wasn't beset by saucy doubts and fears … but luckily along comes Scottie from marketing to calm him with a few wise words, derived it seems from studying the thoughts of Buzz Lightyear… never surrender!
Wouldn't it be better simply to follow the top strategic thinking of our US partners?
And so to the last gobbet, and thanks to "Ned's" word salad, which included plenty of sliced cucumber from SloMo, the pond began to think that we might be doomed … what with track about strategic transformations, while we lumber on getting submarines built, current technology delivered at vast blown out cost to do who knows what in 2050. It's times like these that the pond can see an upside in not being around to see it ...
Yes Hong Kongers, we have steadfastly looked at your situation, and we have expressed concerns, and we do hope you can live with that …why we might even talk of a token invitation for a lucky few to leave, provided it doesn't interfere with the sale of coal and iron ore, and anyway the two systems seem to be working well enough …
Never mind, it's July 4th, and so it's time to celebrate the world that the Murdochians have helped create …
From the Bromancer: "Victoria's Chief Health Officer, Brett Sutton, echoes many experts when he says the global death toll in coming months could rise to five or 10 million."
ReplyDeleteOh, ok, I get it now: all that strident reptile criticism of Dr Norman Swan wasn't - despite how it came across - because Dr Swan had over-estimated the likely death count, but because he'd under-estimated it. All is clear now ... even to some reptiles it seems.
Then we get: "...much of the world - sub-Saharan Africa, parts of Latin America and Asia - has yet to experience its first wave."
Funny, I somehow thought that South Africa, for just one, is actually "sub-Saharan". And according to a BBC report, South Africa has 159,333 infection cases and 2749 deaths (so far). Seems like a bit of a "wave" to me:
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-53256879
Then there's this: "There are parts of the developing world, such a Brazil ..."
Oh, I'm sure that the Embraer making and exporting Brazilians will be just delighted to learn from the Bromancer that their nation is merely "developing".
Moving on to the Doggy Boverer, we get this: "Compared with any nation on the planet, despite constant carping and derision from our so-called cultural, media and political elite, we do all right."
Well now, is that a confession of total failure in the Murdoch war-game plan or what ? Despite being, as you say DP, the "carper in chief" the Doggy Bov is trying to pretend that he's just this "little ray of sunshine" in Australia's wide brown land.
So we see yet again, the reptile way: lie, lie and lie again. and when you've done it three times "they just believe you" - well I guess that's something reptiles and Trump have in common.
Now we get to Nullius Ned, who's hed writer wants to assure us, believes that, against puny old China "Australia's best defence is a good offence". Well now, didn't I just say that "restoring our capabilities" would require us to have at least two aircraft carriers, 3,500,000 in the ADF (or should that be renamed as the AOF ?) and a lot of "amphibious ships" so we can land all those AOFs in China and capture Beijing.
Yep, that's "strategic update" for us. What did I say to Chad: the Pareto 80/20 rule - do the absolute minimum you can get away with but predict, and claim, big results.
["Ah but it's not just dictator for life in Russia that our ally loves..." Pssst DP, the term is Czar of All the Russias for life. And have I mentioned that Vladimir translates as "ruler of the world" ?]
Abbott described Australia's relationship with China as being driven by "fear and greed".
DeleteI have to think fear has the upper hand at the moment but greed may win in the long run.
https://twitter.com/workingdogprod/status/902855541143117825?s=20
Your money or our life ?
DeleteWell, never MY money, though I might suffer the consequences. That's fair isn't it?
DeleteOk, that's the easy bit done, now to see what Neddy says. Well firstly it's more what he quotes others as saying in the "strategic update". that "defence planning will focus on our immediate region: ranging from north-eastern Indian Ocean, through maritime and mainland Southeast Asia to Papua New Guinea and the Southwest Pacific."
ReplyDeleteOh right, so nobody has told our strategic updaters that China has a large and growing presence in the Antarctic, including bases (civilian and military ?) in parts of the Antarctic that Australia claims as our territory. Nor that the Antarctic is warming at three times the rate of the rest of the world and will start to be a lot more habitable soonish (say 20 or so years). So all our 'defence through offence' capability will be up in the north when the Chinese invasion fleet sails up from Antarctica and takes Tassie and Melbourne and Adelaide and ... And I guess we'll just have to have all 12 of our French subs sailing around in the great Southern Ocean all of the time ... when we finally get them, that is.
At long last, Ned's rant comes to an end, and after praising ScoMo to heaven and back, he quotes Linda Reynolds: "... our values are what defines us as a nation." Oh goody goody gumdrops, we are all Pentecostals now.
‘it chose to use untrained security guards without even the most elementary common sense of having them supervised by police officers, soldiers or prison guards’
ReplyDeleteBut, but - Associate Editor (National Affairs) - isn’t that private enterprise in action? Have you not been keeping up with your reading from the IPA? Private enterprise - always more efficient, agile, innovative, responsive, and, above all - cheaper than hidebound time-servers on the public payroll.
Quis custodiet.
Chadwick
Our way is best, except when it isn't, and then it's always somebody else's fault.
Delete