The pond is always terrified when the reptiles catch a glimpse of what some people might think of as reality. The entire point of the herpetarium is to keep the reptiles safe, and warming on a hot rock, and with a very infinite* supply of kool aid for the drinking … (*ABC 24 certified).
Such a moment came with the bromancer this day, when he apparently realised things weren't going that well in the world of the Donald …
Even worse, this totally unwanted reality check seemed to have some implications down under ...
Chaotic and deeply sub-optimal?
But of course reality should only go so far, and the bromancer didn't have the heart to mention the Donald or Trumpists of the DeSantis kind …
Oh wait, the poor thing even had some dire and dreadful thoughts turn up about the Donald, in his fearsome brush with alternative reality …
Apparently he got taken in by the hoax, and didn't understand that it would soon just magically disappear, in a puff of smoke ...
What a gloomy analysis. Clearly alternative reality doesn't sit well with the reptiles. Next thing you know some might even be donning masks ...
But what of the local outbreak? Will the reptiles pile on, and blame Gladys in the way they've mounted a ferocious campaign against comrade Dan, as noted in Media Watch last night?
Never! Not when simplistic Simon is on hand …
Ah yes, a wise and weighted response indeed, unlike those dreadful southern socialists …
The pond was a northerner, north Fitzroy to be precise, which is why it ended up in Sydney, where it knows nothing of viruses or dreadful southern socialists ...
Luckily, the Caterist was also on hand this day to sort things out …and naturally the dreadful southern socialist was a most suitable illustration for his wise, taxpayer-funded words ...
But before we get started with the Caterist, the pond must scold a contributor for labelling a wondrous contribution "off-topic". For shame!
Anything at all to do with the Caterists and the reptiles in general, or for that matter, life, the universe, pain, love and the whole damn thing is never off-topic, and this link was a ripper …
There's more, much more, at the Graudian here, but the pond could only quote so much, laugh with jolly gaiety, and thank the contributor, before getting back to the main game today ...
A study by a team lead by Hole in the Bucket Henry? That famed public health official, and expert epidemiologist? The pond can't wait … we can never have enough failed undergraduate papers.
Meanwhile, the Caterist line seems to be part of a bigger push observed by Crikey yesterday …
The pond would like to link to Crikey, but there's the paywall, and besides it needs to get back to the Caterist today in the lizard Oz, outlining his modest proposal to let 'er rip ...
Oh dear, reality came for the bromancer, albeit briefly, but not for the Caterist, not when he can speak of Checkpoint Charlies and the politics of fear, and peddle his own fear, which is that his rich buddies might suffer a little financial downturn.
What buddies? Oh what the heck, the pond really should follow-up with more from Crikey, in particular to do with that Flight Centre chappie who featured on yesterday's pond …
Abysmal op-ed standard? Oh that's cruel, that's harsh. But surely, we have the Caterist, expert in the movement of flood waters on quarries and equally famed as an epidemiologist and health official, and with our dear hole in the bucket Henry helping him, and who knows, very soon we might have yet another failed undergraduate paper …
Meanwhile, we have the final gobbet of the Caterist ...
Indeed, indeed, the sooner we emulate the United States and get back to business, the better for all …
And so to the bonus of the day, but what a bonus, because it's Dame Groan in full whimsical flight …
Now don't get the pond wrong.
The pond is entirely supportive of Dame Groan. The poor are always with us, and always difficult, real nuisances, and rather than put them in sub-standard accommodation - heaven forfend expending any money on standard accommodation - how much better to kick them out in the street and let them live their lives of sorrow in full public view, as a way of shaming them, and as a way of making the homed feel better about themselves ...
There's no doubt that Dame Slap is a visionary. Some people perhaps unkindly think of her as a selfish, up herself tosser with not a shred of humanity in her dry, bitter bones, but such suggestions are only designed to outrage the pond.
She is a visionary, and her modest proposal to stop wasting money on the poor will bring to mind other visionaries in the field, none better than Dean Swift with his own modest proposal …
The pond regrets the smallness of the type, and suggests those unfamiliar with the modest proposal, click on to enlarge the gobbet, or better still, head off to Project Gutenberg, for a reminder of this most excellent idea on how to deal with the poor and their wretched spawn …
Frankly there's nothing to see here, except more Dame Groan, and sadly, because duty must be done, the pond perforce must proceed on with Dame Groan's own worthy scheme to deal with the wretched indolent poor, by tossing them into the streets …
What a visionary she is. Stop wasting public money, and the problem of the homeless will surely go away. Why, the very same logic is at work with the Caterists. Ignore the virus, and things will work out splendidly …
Sadly there's only one gobbet of Dame Groan left, but at least it's short.
When he came up with his modest proposal, the venerable Dean had to go on at great length to sell his idea …
But now she's a penny a word, the canny Dame Groan knows it's pointless to waste pennies on words, or alms or public housing on the poor, so better to keep her modest proposal short and to the point ...
But what to do with the poor?
The immortal Rowe had a most excellent idea. Send them to the casino to gamble, and they might strike it rich, or they might catch a cold and die (why, it's not even as bad as the flu), or they might simply lurch about the street looking for shelter, but the government-subsidised reptiles can sleep cosy and comfortable in their beds knowing that this day has seen duty done, and more splendid visions delivered to their ever-smaller reading public …
Abysmal op-ed standard? No, no, good and proper filler between the cartoons, with more Rowe as always to hand here …
Mungo McCallum does some reptile skewering:
ReplyDeleteEven The Australian is gloomy at the prospect. Drawing breath (through a mask, we hope) from the constant lambasting of Victoria in general and premier Daniel Andrews in particular, the national daily unleashed its editor at large, Paul Kelly (the one who does pomposity, not science or music) to offer a different diatribe.
Under the heading “Recriminations splitting our unity when we most need it,” Kelly chided that divisions were a threat to economic recovery. Presumably, Kelly does not read his own paper. Well, who can blame him?
I thought I had included the link, but no - sorry.
ReplyDeletehttps://johnmenadue.com/a-second-wave-of-economic-stimulus/
Beat me my a whisker!! I was going to offer this link as well. Does Ned read his paper??? Indeed, does any one want to??? Commenting on the IGA/News Corp free newspaper deal "A staffer at the IGA said most don’t want the free paper and that they have been told to throw left over papers in the trash." https://www.newsagencyblog.com.au/2019/11/09/iga-news-corp-free-newspaper-deal/
DeleteI do hope reptile followers won't be too disappointed when they email www.menziesrc.org as instructed in that footnote under the Caterist contribution, hoping to get their hands on a copy of Hole-in-the-Head Henry's latest tree-killing offering.
ReplyDeleteYeah, kinda what one would expect from Goosebumps Cater though.
DeleteI did go to the trouble of actually going to the sight to see if there is an obvious email address anywhere, but either I'm going seriously blind, or here isn't.
There's a link to 'Books' on the MRC website GB. But I warn you not to go there. Not unless you are prepared for an onslaught of titles about Howard and Menzies (and even one by Howard about Menzies). Plus the oddly titled 'Abbott: the Defining Speeches'
DeleteI think, all things considered Merc, that I will happily accept your warning in this one. But jeez, the idea of 'Abbott: the Defining Speeches' is almost enough to suck one in, isn't it.
DeleteTo understand what has happened to the Bromancer, you must watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
ReplyDeleteThe Bromancer: "... Washington will remain transfixed with this problem for the rest of the year."
ReplyDeleteWho does he think he's kidding ? That is, if he actually means "Washington" as a metonym for the occupants of the White House. The only thing "transfixing Washington" in that sense is how to discredit and dismiss anybody who takes the coronavirus at all seriously, at least as a medical problem.
Trump would very likely be taking it more seriously the closer it gets to presidential election time and consequently the stronger the negative effect on his re-election chances that it has.
What effect does he think America's 'transfixation' would have on Australia ? Will China invade us perhaps ? Just because America is too busy apportioning coronavirus blame to retaliate ?
But how good is this: "But ... the virus can easily get away from you. It always has the potential to grow exponentially. It doesn't only kill old people, it kills young people, too. Many who recover are left with long-term, sometimes permanent, damage to lungs or other organs."
Well apart from that being a peculiarly reptilian definition of "recover", do we think the Bromancer might go and tell that to Killer Creighton ? And to sundry others including "Skroo" Turner ?
Today's effort by the Caterer is a classic example of "high-decoupling", that is decoupling ideas/propositions from context and seeing only simple, direct consequences. So when Cater says: "The closure of state borders is among the most serious measures imaginable in a federation. Its benefits are questionable and its obvious discrepancies silly. Why is it OK to hold a family picnic on the banks of the Murray at Cobram but not at Echuca ?"
ReplyDeletehe simply cannot couple things together to see that it is not the locality as such that matters, but the people who will be there: if you are concerned that people in Victoria might have been markedly more exposed to COVID-19 than people in NSW, then it becomes a little clearer as to why the "locality" might matter. But Cater cannot make even such an obvious coupling as that, so nor can he see a possible consequence that the result might be a transmission of the coronavirus that is more highly probable amongst people in Victoria than people in NSW.
But then, all of the reptiles are persistent high-decouplers, unable to discern a set of contexts and unable to grasp a set of possible consequences. One simple context element resulting in one simple consequence is as good as they can manage.
So when Cater says: "A sobering report by PricewaterhouseCoopers now forecasts that debt will be with us until 2057..." how should we understand that ? Well, one way is by asking what the residual debt will be in 2056 ? If it's only a few billion on a GDP way more than the current Au$1 trillion pa or so, then will anybody be at all concerned ? Does Cater consider this ? Does Cater remember that the last time - under Howard/Costello - that Australia basically went "debt free", the financial industry effectively demanded that the government issue bonds - ie go into debt - so that the financial advisors could direct their clients to safe, interest bearing investments.
And what did Costello himself say:
"Costello sees a “new spirit of bipartisanship in relation to fiscal policy in relation to this budget”.
“Nobody now is talking about paying back debt. The assumption in these budget papers is the debt that has been run over the last decade will be there forever."
https://www.themandarin.com.au/78902-costello-government-given-paying-off-debt/
The really funny thing though, is that the PwC report talks about tax "reform" and states:
"Mr Abbey said tax concessions which substantially benefited older taxpayers had to be reconsidered, such as the near-absence of tax on superannuation earnings for retirees, franking credits and the seniors and pensioners tax offset."
Now where have I heard stuff like that before ? Oh yeah, in Bill Shorten's policy proposals for the 2019 election that turned him into "the Bill we can't afford".
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/19-years-before-a-budget-surplus-pwc-calls-for-tax-reform-20200529-p54xuc.html
It seems that the Bromancer, in his capacity as the Australian Mouth of Murdoch, has begun an official distancing from Trump. Three and a half months from an election and the death machine is still spooling up, so best to plan for a retreat.
ReplyDeleteThe Bromancer is particularly clueless, but the odd thing is that so many people who should know better have always tried to discern some hidden purpose in Trump's actions. He is just what he seems to be at first glance, a combination of corruption and stupidity
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/07/08/stop-saying-trump-is-denial-truth-is-much-worse/
Why are people so reluctant to see this?
As for Sheridan, it's the usual combination of false equivalence and innumeracy.
Australia is not like the US. However clueless or misguided the premiers are, everyone is trying to do something. We don't have layer on layer of government trying to prevent meaningful action because of old tribal enmities.
I'll even give the PM the benefit of the doubt. Despite the football, the pleas for border opening or early return to school, I will just assume he is badly advised and not terribly bright - feel free to correct me.
The death rate Sheridan has been harping about for weeks is like Beffudled's academic record, very average. It's just the "least worst" metric of a very bad selection.
https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/coronavirus-cfr?country=USA~OWID_WRL
If your satisfied with not being dead last (in every sense) you might take comfort in this result.
Just one small correction I'd suggest, Bef: "a combination of corruption and very ignorant stupidity"
Delete