In which the bromancer and Dame Slap go right off, while our Gracie suffers ...

Why the bromancer? Even worse, why the bromancer as the pond's Saturday favourite?

Surely it's bleedingly obvious? Who else could announce that he was going to explain how the virus has changed the world order, and then begin with a photo of Maarise (feel no) Pain (close cousin of Moorice)?

The pond instantly knew it could roll over and nod off and pick up a little extra shut eye before opening one eye to read on, because there is no more boring politician in the land than our Maarise … and possibly no one in the world who could match her for sheer tedium.

Besides, the pond knew that the bromancer's speciality was hysteria, and so it was a mystery how Maarise and the bromancer might match up, and Maarise might be lathered up to froth and foam a at the mouth by a dose of bromancer hysteria … and so the pond had to be prepared, fighting fit and ready for the foaming ...

One of the weirdest things in Western politics? Somewhat encouraged by Trump? Is there an elephant in the room? Can  the pond introduce the bromancer to the elephant?

That last WaPo story is as good as any for a quick reference:

Those who relied on Fox or, say, radio personality Rush Limbaugh, came to believe that vitamin C was a possible remedy, that the Chinese government created the virus in a lab, and that government health agencies were exaggerating the dangers in the hopes of damaging Trump politically, a survey showed.

Yes, one of the weirdest things in Murdochian la la land media! More than somewhat encouraged by Trump, more than somewhat encouraging of Trumpian delusions!

Now what sayeth the bromancer of his kissing US cousins?

Nuts? Nuts?? Quick, reach for a pain-killing stretch of Painless tedium to explain how we must hang in with the nutters ...

Why does the pond find all this hard to take seriously? Even though Xi is thoroughly obnoxious and Putin entirely reprehensible? Well, there's an emperor on the throne, and he farts a lot, and watches the wrong sort of media…

Yes, you don't have to look far to hear of the emperor sharing his love for the middle kingdom's emperor:

Trump publicly praised China’s handling of its outbreak across January and February, even as his health and national security deputies concluded that China was concealing information and pushed to gain access to the country — and the virus likely worsened in the United States, undetected.

“China has been working very hard to contain the Coronavirus. The United States greatly appreciates their efforts and transparency. It will all work out well,” Trump tweeted on Jan. 24, four days after the first case was confirmed in the United States. “In particular, on behalf of the American People, I want to thank President Xi!” Other presidential tweets in early February praised Xi for his “strong” and “sharp” response. (Politico here)

President Trump and his Chinese counterpart spoke about Trump's reelection prospects "frequently," former national security adviser John Bolton told NPR.

According to Bolton, Chinese President Xi Jinping lamented that Trump couldn't run for a potential third term, to which Trump "said yes," Bolton recounted.

"I just thought this kind of back and forth with authoritarian leaders did not reflect well on Donald Trump himself or the presidency or the United States," Bolton told NPR Morning Edition host Steve Inskeep on Sunday evening for an interview to be broadcast Monday. (NPR here).

And that's why the pond enjoys reading the bromancer in full hysteria mode ...

An inescapable reality? But what about the emperor? If the world's in a China crisis, who's in charge in Washington?

  

It was inevitable that the pond would break, and go a couple of cartoons ...

Oh indeed, indeed, the US is in a hugely strong position, with amazingly strong leadership …

  

How desperate does the bromancer get? How dangerous is the world situation?

Ye ancient screeching cats and howling dogs, he doesn't wrap up by quoting Scottie from marketing. He brings Malware back from the dead, and what's more speaks of him approvingly … et tu, bromancer, has it come to this and Malware?

We need to draw closer to a country which leads the world in infections, which still manages to shade the loonacy of Bolsinaro and the Hindu nationalists of India?

Why that's like suggesting a cockroach or a cane toad should cuddle up to a southern sparrow ...

Sorry, sorry, that was just a badly thought out segue to our Gracie, but at least it beats Seth Meyer hands down blathering about time tunnels in fireplaces, and The Thorn Birds, and if he does that 'arrgh, me hearties Captain' routine one more time, the pond will scream, and hurl a brick through the TV, ending forever the chance of having watched Sky News at least once...

The pond just wanted to share a quiet moment with our Gracie because she's really hurting … and with a refugee Victorian in the building, the pond can feel her pain ...

Poor Gracie, it must be terribly hard, working for a Sydney-centric Murdochian rag, knowing that she's supporting the evil empire. 

There's Sky News and its company of loon ratbags, and then there's the cruel thrusts of the moronic tabloid Murdochian media …

  

Leave the cruel, wicked empire, Gracie. Take up blogging, or do something useful with your life. Your fellow reptiles loath comrade Dan, and they loath the socialist, pinko pervert state of Victoria, and they hate Melburnians because they wear black, and drink coffee, and they know, no matter how they try that Surry Hills' baristas can't match the lane way dining or the coffee, and oh, Brunswick street, and the junkies in Smith street, where are you now, why did it all go wrong ...

Yes, Gracie, if you leave the reptiles - perhaps get a column with a Nine rag, perhaps focus on your business, perhaps do anything else you can think of - the sooner you begin this journey, the better off you'll be …

Cancel yourself, or at least cancel your contribution to the evil empire, with its vile defamation of sweet Melburnians …

And speaking of cancelling things, how the pond wishes that it could cancel Dame Slap, but instead, because it is the pond's duty, the pond must offer the IPA lickspittle lackey as the bonus for the day ...

You see, sweet Gracie, what you're currently associated with, the level of the loonacy?

Dear ancient screeching cats and howling dogs, Niemöller (please reptiles, what happened to the diaeresis, have you no shame, no respect for the man and his name?) scribbled his famous lament about the Nazis …

These days the closest you get to the Nazis is the gun-toting, mask-denying Trumpists, good people on both sides, run that woman over, celebrate slavery and treason, and carry that flag …

The pond can never forget or forgive that this Gina stooge, this IPA loon, once donned a MAGA cap and strode the streets of New York to herald the arrival of the anti-Christ, and plunge even the bromancer into an existential despair …

Here the pond must apologise because Dame Slap has decided to quote Bari Weiss blathering on as she leaves the NY Times, but in a font so small it seemed designed to match the birdbrained witterings of Weiss ...

Say what? The pond should give a toss about Weiss?

Say what? The pond should care about Sullivan.

Actually Sullivan's column is out and about - Dame Slap should be a little more punctual in delivering her copy - and here for anyone remotely interested in what the confused loon has to offer, but it turns out he hasn't been cancelled. He's just heading off to re-boot the Weekly Dish - yes, Gracie, he's becoming a blogger and podcaster - in the delusional hope that people will eventually start sending him money …

The pond would much rather pay a little extra to the garbos for doing their weekly chores, carting away the garbage and maybe some Sullivan digital detritus ...

It's a never no mind to the pond, but you see, he's not lost to the world, there's no loss of intellectual diversity here. Indeed, as it's Sullivan, the pond should add that there's also no loss of intellect, because there wasn't much to begin with …

In fact, Dame Slap could do the same thing herself. Perhaps start up a blog at the IPA, or revive the fortunes of Menzies House, which last had a peep from Tim Andrews back in February 2017 …

Surely she'd be up for the heavy lifting, rather than sitting as a comfortable member of the Murdochian Surry Hills 'leet, hauling down a hearty pay check from the Chairman, while also serving in a squalid, nauseating, supine way as Gina's serf …

Oh never mind, it's time for Dame Slap to wander off into her litany of complaints ...

Does Dame Slap realise just how weirdly Jesuitical she's starting to sound?

Now we must look at every example as if we're in the middle of a new Inquisition, a new search on a daily basis for heretics? We should argue about it at length, even if "we might disagree on whether any particular episode is cancel culture or not…"

But if Pauline Hanson isn't cancel culture, because Nine has the right to cancel Pauline, then surely the NY magazine has the right to cancel a complete waste of space like Sullivan, and come to think of it, some employees surely have the right to cancel the Chairman and head off to the ABC …

Why it could turn into an orgy of cancellations, much like airlines in these troubled times, and does anyone in the Surry Hills 'leets - apart perhaps from the bromancer understand that there's a world of pain out there at the moment, and that there are far more important things going on at the moment than moronic moanings from the thin skinned IPA?

Sorry, on with the litany … and a full-on dose of hysteria and talk of cultural apartheid and white people in a way that is true to the Donald … or white supremacists … though the pond would have preferred Dame Slap to have donned a Klan hood and wrapped herself in the Confederate flag while making the point about the endless suffering of the white people ...

Oh fucketty fuck, suddenly Dame Slap cares about comedy? There's never been a more humourless, humour free creature at the lizard Oz. 

Comedy and irony are completely lost on Dame Slap, especially when it comes to donning the MAGA cap and cancelling things that matter …

And there's the real irony in all this.

Has there ever been a more intolerant, illiberal carry-on than that conducted by evangelical zealots, homophobes, TG phobes, women's rights limiting, minorities bashing, ratbag gun-toting Donald lovers, and assorted reptiles, none better than the likes of Dame Slap and the Bolter?

Dame Slap exudes bigotry, intolerance and prejudice from every pore on her keyboard, which is why the notion that she's a liberal sends the pond into paroxysms of laughter. Comedy isn't dead, we'll always have Dame Slap, at least until Micallef returns ...

When illiberalism spreads? It's already here, it's rampant, and poor Gracie and the Melburnians are suffering, and so is the United States, and so is the rest of the world, as loons don the MAGA cap and join with evangelical fundamentalists and gun-toting Confederate flag waving ratbags to show off their intolerance …

Why they can't even stand someone wearing a mask in the presence of a pandemic that kills people.

It's going to take a power of schooling to get the US back on the road, but even there, once the kids are back in class, who's to say when the shootings will return, or other forms of killing, and all that will be on offer will be what Dame Slap's best friends are best at …