Thursday, January 03, 2019

In which the pond embarks on the New Year with hope, but ends up with Barners and the bromancer ...


Around this time of year, the lizards of Oz fall back on old routines, with summaries of the year past, or projections for the year forward …

Even dear old Polonius, jaded rouĂ© that he is, used the cornball device … and while it was interesting to discover that he was full of self-loathing, perhaps because of his numerous historical distortions and false prophecies, the pond wanted instead to play tribute to those who stayed at their posts, 'personning' the culture wars, while indolent types of the pond kind went dancing with waves, or stared into the sun, or just glazed out …

You know, like the venerable Sexton …


This was so astonishing that the pond didn't bother to read it.

The pond had the impression that Mueller had kept his cards close to his chest in best holyday 500 style, but here was the venerable Sexton, who knew everything he had and hadn't discovered, and was able to reveal it all to devoted lizard Oz readers down under. Perhaps necromancy was involved, perhaps it was false prophecy, perhaps it was just delusional.

But still, he stayed at his post, keeping the wars alive, just like the urbane Urban and the nouvelle vague  Varga …


Bravely done …but feeling stifled, the pond skipped on …and lo, Flinty was keeping the Tom Hanks inspired move back to the typewriter alive …


And of course, delayed, but how was Flinty to know when he slipped the paper into the machine?

And speaking of prophecies, our Adam came up with a ripper …


Then there was domestic politics, and for some reason, the mutton Dutton had a dummy spit of a massive kind…


But could even the mutton man match this?


He jumped? There was no pushing?

Marvellously, wonderfully, the Caterist also stayed hard at it …

 

Um, is there any way taxpayers can get back their wasted tax dollars?


Oh it's good to start the new year with an ancient ritual … and lo, Moorice also did his duty, scoring top of the page with a demonic figure …



There was comedy just beneath Moorice too, as the world famous climate scientist worried about dinkum clean true blue Oz coal oi, oi, oi …


Bobby giving advice? Did he finish fucking over Louisiana? Sad …that somehow he should turn up in the lizard Oz dispensing advice to Democrats in the holyday season …

And so at last to today's splash …


Sheesh, it isn't just Bobby coming back from the dead, Barners is out and about too ...


Now it was a tad remiss of the pond, but it paid no attention to what Barners was saying - it being the usual guff - but rather the pond focussed on the manner of the saying.

See how all the trite, repetitious warnings come out in short sentences. Only that last par had a few sentences, and an actual attempt to stitch together an argument …

The rest was just 'panic, panic, panic', there's a headless chook in the back yard.

It was like reading a barely literate child trying to sound forceful by keeping it simple, or perhaps Barners' simplistic ...


Fuckaduck he even slipped in a plug for his book … but we've been there before …

 

Sheesh, not Beetroot Man, with Kevin Spacey perhaps playing the villain.

Never mind, on with the rest of the rant … with a reminder that the lizards of Oz thought this was top of the page holyday reading ...


Pitiful, pathetic, though Beetroot man somehow manages to veer from drama or tragedy to rich, ripe comedy …and just below Barners, there was more movie mayhem, thanks to the bromancer ...


The bromancer really is a stupid man, but the pond is amazed at the monstrous level of stupidity he regularly manages to display …

You see, it's a movie, a biopic, and so by definition, history and factual matters are entirely beside the point … unless you happen to be as dumb as the bromancer and want to rail at the elite arts world …

Never mind, the bromancer was blessed by a Lobbecke, and so was granted the reptile badge of cult authenticity for the day ...



And there in a nutshell is the tragedy of the bromancer. You see if the pond wanted to read a movie review, the very last person it would consult is the bromancer, who actually wants to boast about how he spent some time with Dick… two dicks together, so to speak …

If the pond wanted a review, it might head off to this one ...


You see, these are people, here, looking at the movie as a movie, as a piece of entertainment using assorted movie devices, familiar from a previous show, without much attention paid to the alleged 'facts' ...


As the immortal Sam Goldwyn was reported to have said, "pictures are for entertainment, if you want history, hire Edward Gibbon" ...

Perhaps the pond got that wrong, perhaps it was something about sending messages by Western Union, or ads full of facts, facts, facts …

Meanwhile, back in the world of the bromancer, there's more blather about 'facts', and not a angle reference to other movies, in the way all movie buffs expect ...



Oh okay, to be fair, the movie buffs also stray into politics ...

...this depiction of W. as a good-ol’-boy airhead, a patsy puppeteered by Cheney, will only further absolve him of responsibility for his disastrous presidency—just as we’ve seen in the media, who not only line the pockets of his former minions (see: David Frum, Nicole Wallace) but also have been hell-bent on rehabbing his public image, portraying one of the worst presidents in history—a man who conned us into war, mainstreamed torture, destabilized the Middle East, and sank the global economy—as a candy-passin’, joke-crackin’ eccentric artist.

Oh okay, enough of the history, back to the bromancer getting agitated ...



We're a long way from looking at a movie as a movie … so far in fact that the bromancer seems to think that only people of bromancer status, skill and insight - you know ones with exceptional knowledge and memory of arcana - should actually be watching the show.

The rest, the deplorables, the uneducated, the imbecilic, the 'average viewer' wouldn't understand that the war in Iraq wasn't the work of a criminal cabal, but rather was an astonishing foreign policy triumph  of the kind only a bromancer might truly celebrate, with just the facts ma'am…

Well, it wouldn't  be a proper bromancer piece without a preening of the feathers and an exotic feather display, because it takes a truly impressive journalist to interview a truly impressive Dick ...



Roll that last line around on the tongue again, because it's a true treasure ...

"Politics is downstream of culture. That is one reason conservatives struggle."

Actually conservatives struggle when they think that a movie about politics is going to be anything other than an entertainment aimed at a target demographic …

There's another reason they struggle. If you scribble condescending crap about average viewers they might conclude you're so up yourself there's no point caring what you might think about a movie …

And speaking of walls as metaphors, if you think life is a river, maybe you should just try pissing into the wind, for fear your pissant political nonsense will float downstream …

And so to a final holyday treasure that no doubt many will have already enjoyed ...


What a trifecta. There's the 'truly unique gifts', there's talk of Happy Holydays instead of Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year, and a final bow on top is that spelling of "Holiday's!"

And Greg Sheridan thinks politics is downstream of culture?

Surely, politics, the Donald and the reptiles are really downstream of literacy and hypocrisy …

Here, have a New Year cartoon or two …




8 comments:

  1. Thanks for being dot.
    Hope you have your prophylactic mental and physical barrier ready. They cool aid will be strong this year.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So good that you're alive and on the ball, DP. But oh, the pain of having to waste your first for the new year on the Bromancer. Fair dinkum, I'm beginning to think maybe he makes Moorice look not wholly irrational. And oh, all those really important, totally wonderful men - and they are all men - that The Bro has spent so many pleasant hours sucking up to.

    Like this - Bromancer: "Tony Blair writes in his memoirs of how much he admired Bush and nominates him as the international leader he knew who had the greatest personal integrity. Blair had a high opinion of Cheney, too."

    Now is there anybody, simply anybody, in this wide world more regally impressive than Blair. And it does say it all, doesn't it, about criminal cliques and their self-interest. But why doesn't he mention Little (dis)Honest Johnny ? Surely Johnny was a member in good standing of the Lucent Liars Collective too ?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Dorothy,

    “I spent more time with Cheney than any other Australian journalist did, interviewing him at length when he was vice -president”

    So why was The Bromancer so popular with VP Cheney? His hard hitting style maybe?;

    https://georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov/news/releases/2007/02/20070223-9.html

    Of course we are fortunate that we still have a record of this interview at the Altitude Restaurant in the Shangri-La Hotel, Sydney. If it had just been an e-mail exchange, then it’s unlikely that any record would now exist.

    https://www.newsweek.com/2016/09/23/george-w-bush-white-house-lost-22-million-emails-497373.html

    Sheridan later wrote an op-ed on the 24th February 2007 titled “No retreating and no regrets (Vice -President Dick Cheney). Alas like Cheney’s emails this too is no longer available on the inter-tubes, which is a shame as I remember it as an absolute masterpiece of the sycophants art.

    As for the innocence of Scooter Libby;

    “In October 2005, Libby resigned from all three government positions after he was indicted on five counts by a federal grand jury concerning the investigation of the leak of the covert identity of Central Intelligence Agency officer Valerie Plame Wilson. He was subsequently convicted of four counts (one count of obstruction of justice, two counts of perjury, and one count of making false statements), making him the highest-ranking White House official convicted in a government scandal since John Poindexter, the national security adviser to President Ronald Reagan in the Iran–Contra affair.
    After a failed appeal, President Bush commuted Libby's sentence of 30 months in federal prison, leaving the other parts of his sentence intact. As a consequence of his conviction in United States v. Libby, Libby's license to practice law was suspended until being reinstated in 2016. President Donald Trump fully pardoned Libby on April 13, 2018.”

    You Ghunt the rest here;

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scooter_Libby

    With the reptiles ready to launch the ‘Mother of all Fear Campaigns’ in the lead up to the Federal Election and the need to downplay the paranoid twittering emanating from the Trump White House as it descends further into insanity, I confidently predict rich and rewarding pickings in store for The Pond in 2019.

    DiddyWrote

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm thinking, DW, that The Bromancer suffers from a kind of macular degeneration of the consciousness. You know about optical macular degeneration of course: large blind spots in the high focus centre of the optical field.

      So the Bro has large blind spots in the centre of his consciousness and can basically just vaguely sense stuff hanging about in the periphery. Thus he has no clear view of the likes of W Bush or Cheney, or even of Blair.

      So we get his nonsense account of people and the world where all the major or important stuff is just invisible to the Bro and he has to compensate by making up stuff from things vaguely sensed at the perimeter.

      There is no cure.

      Delete
  4. Yes it does seem that the reptiles are going to provide much grist for the loon pond this year.
    Me thinks that the bromancer should read the book by David Ray Griffin titled Bush & Cheney How They Ruined the World.
    The review by Edward Curtin gives an excellent summary of the book.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know The Bromacer is a world class name dropper, but what a load of shite in his claiming to no Cheney. Cheney wouldn't even know this Murdoch lickspittle rodent Bromancer exists.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Matbw there's some truth in that old Pogo Primaries slogan, "Never mind who's for President. Who's for Vice? I know I am."

    ReplyDelete

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