The pond was full of admiration for the way that the onion muncher led the internal feud reported in today's reptile rag, and saturated the lizard Oz with his howls of protest …
Just kidding, as Colbert is wont to say.
The onion muncher went MIA …see if he's anywhere to be found in the reptile story, a sad decline from the onion muncher's daily protests and indignant yowls in his Malware glory days ...
The pond has no dog in the fight, but what fun to see it go down … all to get a former Labor party president a seat in parliament for the SloMo team…
Remember those solemn days in an alternative universe?
Ah yes, the futtock Ruddoch was put in charge …but what talk there was of motions (party motions that is) and Warringahs and roll-backs and party members ...
The onion muncher likely to be unhappy? What a sweet puss he is, how softly he purrs ...
Yes that was then, with the valiant onion muncher and brave Jim lad doing their very best, but alas, alack, where are they now? Please, keep scouring the reptile story for a sighting ...
Ah, the futtock Ruddoch with a lame excuse, but where's the onion muncher? Well the pond only selected this gobbet because of the splendid photo it contained …the full story can be found at what was once known as Fairfax here …
See how grimly determined he was, lo, how righteous he looked ...
Brave Jim lad, where is he now?
But the pond waits with baited, or even bated, breath, for news that the onion muncher has split from the Liberal party and is now an independent member for the Warringah motion ...
Here, have a Rowe cartoon, with more Rowe served up here …
Did you spot the onion muncher, down in steerage?
And here, have a celebratory tweet …
Hang on, how did prattling Polonius get into that one?
Never mind, there's more dirty work to be done, and so to the pond's official business for the day.
You see, Dame Slap has returned, and the pond is duty bound to honour the return …with the reptiles giving her digital top spot as a sign that this is an earth-shattering reminder the new year is now officially under way ...
Frankly the pond was deeply disappointed with the outing, full of only fair average trolling of a typically Slappian kind, resonant with acid taste on the tongue and a lingering hint of bile on the back palate.
Spoiler alert, all it involved was hailing little Johnny as a feminist warrior and trashing women whom Dame Slap disliked, with her patented form of rampant bitchiness …
The pond decided it would do the presentation, but would put in a few MAGA cartoons, in honour of the glory days of Dame Slap when she donned a MAGA cap and slipped into the streets of New York to celebrate the arrival of the Donald, because he was going to make chairman Rupert great again …
Yes, in her glory days, the Dame was a climate denialist, world government conspiracy theorist, please don't judge her if she begins the year with a cat fight, or at least a goodly dose of cattiness ...
You see? Little Johnny a feminist warrior, even though certain women don't deserve it, because they're not Dame Slap's kind of woman …
Here, have a cartoon celebrating a Slappian woman of the first water …
And so to another chunk of Dame Slap, but the pond is making it a big chunk, just to get it out of the way as quickly as possible …
Yes, she's alright Jill, she did what Jack thought was right, and so here's another cartoon …
Luckily the reptiles slipped a dour photo into the next chunk to provide another visual break … remember never miss a chance to berate a unionist … why there are reds within the Liberal party, and possibly even Warren Mundine ...
After reading all that, is there anyone who fails to understand why Dame Slap was so excited that a pussy grabber had got the top job, and so she rushed into the street with a MAGA cap on to celebrate?
Well the pond has done its duty, and got through Dame Slap, and there's just a little chunk of bile to go … and perhaps as the year wears on, she'll get back into top form …
Just remember, if Dame Groan was hauling in 357k a year for her patented brand of nonsense, how much are the reptiles forking over for Dame Slap? Speaking of golden skirts, as we must ...
Yes, yes, there you go, as promised, little Johnny, feminist warrior, and the Donald a bigly hit, and Adelaide enjoying warm weather thanks to Dame Slap's science, and Warren Mundine for Nowra, and the onion muncher nowhere to be found, and brave Jim lad in a funk, and … oh, and it's all too rich for the pond, it's just too bloody rich …
Is there any solution to the madness? Of course there is … do a Mitch …
Dame Slap and the 50 percent female representation target: "The reality of women's preferences suggests that a 30 per cent target is closer to the mark."
ReplyDeleteNow that's really funny (as in funny stupid, not funny haha) because in the Australian Federal parliament (totalling both houses). there is already 32% of women - that's 73 women out of 226 seats in total. But hold on, that's 42 out of 95 for Labor - 44.2% - and a miserable 21 out of 106 - 19.8% - for the LNP.
So, already Labor is well ahead of Slap's "closer to the mark" count and well on the way to a 50% score. Oh, how strange. Can Dame Slap count, do we think ?
But then the Slap goes on to say: "Howard's understanding of women isn't rocket science. His feminism is not stubborn ideology. It is based on celebrating the beauty of women's choices."
And here we get to the real crux of the case: Albrechtsen just wants somebody to tell her that her own miserable, pissant choices are really "beautiful" - and who better than little Johnny to do that. It was the same when Dame Slap couldn't handle being a real solicitor, so she retreated into academia only to find she couldn't handle that either and so ended up just a plain old garden variety reptile, concubine, and general beneficiary of Wingnut Welfare.
But just for a moment, let us consider Dame Enid Lyons: Enid Lyons - married at age 17 in 1915, suffered two miscarriages before managing to go full term. Had 12 children (starting with Gerald in 1916 and ending with Janice Mary in 1933) including one which died at 10 months of age. Had a third miscarriage later in life in which she had to continue to carry the dead foetus for 3 months before it could be removed and still had the last few of her children after that. Elected in 1943 (age 46) to the Federal House of Reps and became a Cabinet Member in 1949. Retired in 1953.
Doesn't that just point out what tender precious snowflakes The Slap, and one or two others, are ?
But do please note, Dame Slap, that Dame Enid (a genuine Dame) simply managed in one single lifetime to take both choices: children and child rearing from 1915 to 1943 (Janice Mary was then 10) and successful political career in her own right (ie not just as Joe Lyons missus) from 1943 to 1953.
Very level-headed our D Slap - by virtue of a chip on each shoulder! Every workplace has a D S (male or female) who feels they have missed their own chance and are making it their life's work to attack anyone else who might succeed.
DeleteYou are right, she had the right - err - - political connections to get a run but basically wimped out. I suspect the boat has sailed for IPA shills like D S or Georgina Downer who want to turn up, mouth a few talking points and the party faithful will elect them. More bitterness will follow.
Incidentally, just how many business execs would fall outside the "red zone of incompetence"? There have been quite a few votes against acceptance of remuneration reports of late and it would seem that if the execs are not incompetent they are, at best , mediocre.