In which the pond attends Dame Slap's classroom ...

It's a busy day in reptile la la land - no envelope jokes please, Kimmel did them all - and first out of the blocks is Dame Slap, though that trifecta of stories at the top of the digital lizard Oz shows just how the Murdochians have distracted the government from the business of governing with endless yabbering about 18C ...

Still, the pond is pleased to have the distraction, because the alternative is the Donald, with his huge build-up of the military and talk of infrastructure. Anyone for Adolf and the autobahn?

Unfortunately as soon as Dame Slap starts talking about "no one" the pond's mind instantly skips to Lewis Carroll and jokes about nobody ...

The full script here thanks to the good folk at adelaide.edu.au, as the pond is reminded that it's more than Dame Slap can do to see real people by any light ...

But as always the pond will bite. 

How does Dame Slap fall? On the side of the Bolter and the onion muncher? Or on the side of Miranda the Devine?

Now it's true that the Bolter is a "no one" of the first water, but it gets better when Dame Slap starts explaining the onion muncher's not a saviour, he's just a naughty boy ...

Preliminaries over, it's time to plunge into the lesson, which remarkably only takes three fits ...

Now the pond has already covered the tragic circumstances of the Roseville Golf Club, and appreciates Dame Slap acknowledging that this is about as far from the outer west as might be found anywhere in Sydney ...

It says something however about her denialism that she calls the arm-breaker politically homeless. 

He's found a home, amongst the Terrorists and the Murdochians, and he's busy re-casting himself, turning himself into a ratbag member of the fundamentalist commentariat right. In short, he's doing a Johns ...

This sort of heroic re-imagining and recanting should be acknowledged and appreciated by Dame Slap ...

And so to the judgement of the Dame on the matter of the onion muncher ...

Why is 18C always front and centre in these debates and judgements?

The pond rarely agrees with Barners, Tamworth blow-in that he is (please, the pond's birth certificate specifies Tamworth Base Hospital, deal with it), but he had this to say recently ...

More at Huff here, but yes, outside this blog and its reptile reading, the pond almost never discusses or thinks about 18C. 

It's the very least of the pond's worries or concerns. Getting by, scratching a living, scoring a bargain, wondering if the health system is about to collapse (does anyone from Murdoch la la land ever visit RPA emergency on any given hyper-busy day?) ...there's more than enough for an anxiety attack on a daily basis ...

18C never intervenes in the preparation of the blog either - there might be a little profanity, and cussing and swearing and such like on parade, but all these things are allowed, inside and outside the packing shed, for men and for women ...

Why do the reptiles carry on about it so? 

Well it's like theological tests of old (you have to be a devotee of angry Anglicans and the Oxford University Act of 1854 to recall one of these long forgotten theological tests). 

The way the test works, a bit like certain kinds of handshakes, you can't get into the club if you don't have a position on the matter ... unless you revile political correctness, you're one of them, a pod person of the left ...

The funny thing is, there's Barners talking common packing shed sense, and he might as well be pissing into the wind ...

It's a measure of how absurd and bizarre Dame Slap is that she heads off into la la land, with the mutton Dutton and Michaelia Cash ...

Does she celebrate them for what they can do about matters to do with the wealth, governance and conduct of the nation?

Does she see them as steadfast leaders who will talk about income and irrigation and other such matters, including, but not limited to, health and education?

Nope, their job is to conduct the culture wars, call out cant and hypocrisy and drive the "Left" nuts ... because driving the Left nuts is the most important business of the federal government.

Why is this so? Why are the commentariat so fucked in the head, so relentlessly, thoroughly, stupidly ideological? To the point now where it's actually a theology of whining and moaning ...

The pond, pace Carroll, thinks it's all the fault of Anglo-Saxon attitudes ...

Ah, those Anglo-Saxon attitudes, and the need to have one to fetch and one to carry ...

Well while on this theme, the pond couldn't resist rounding out the conversation by dropping in on the very disappointed Oz editorialist ...

Oh fucketty, fucketty fuck, more about making free speech safe. 

But free speech can find a way, as in this Terrorist front page ...

What happened to the old sardonic, ironic Australian put-down? A jihadist in Young? Now there's a barbecue not short of a chop or a silly sausage...

In the old days, it was a matter of pride to be a laconic, super dry wit ... a Hanrahan approach to life.

These days, it seems that the crude, simplistic, bigoted side, exemplified by Bill Leak, has triumphed ... or should triumph, though only because it'll drive the left nuts ... not because Leak's got anything useful to say ...

Yes, in the way that the narcissist Trump managed to make even the Oscar envelope muck-up all about him, the endless yabbering on about 18C really doesn't have much to do with anyone or anybody outside the Surry Hills 'leet bunker.

It's all about the reptiles and Bill Leak ... because they feel they can't abuse the wogs and the blacks and the Young Einstein Islamics in the way they'd like ...

Actually there's a crisis in digital layout, and speaking of privacy and rights, there was another scandal that zoomed right by the reptiles ... and as usual, the pond had to turn to the infallible Pope for an insight ...

Well yes, and the job of turning the government digital just got that much harder. 

Trust the government with digitised information? Waiter, bring the pond its Nokia 3310 so we can go off the grid ...

But back to a final jibber jabber from the disappointed reptiles ...

Here's the thing. No one - or perhaps no body, or perhaps only the pond - would assert that Triggs, the HRC or its processes - are perfect. Lordy lordy, it even gave work to Freedom Boy ...

But everyone - or everybody - or perhaps only the pond - will appreciate that the reptiles relentless campaigning in relation to 18C has been the most mindless, godawful way to fuck up and distract from the serious business of governing yet devised by any stupid Murdochian - and this from a pond which has tracked endless stupidities ...

How does it end? With Mark Latham standing up at the Roseville Golf Club to defend western civilisation and blather on about political correctness?

The dumb fuck couldn't run an opposition, let alone a country, and now it's come to this?

No wonder Malware is in such trouble, no wonder people feel alienated and distanced as the Surry Hills elite blather on incestuously about matters that matter only to them ...

Better end this now before the pond begins to sound as mad as Mark Latham and Dame Slap, and demands that mutton Dutton run the country so it can turn into a stodge fest of fuckwittedness, which will produce the revolution the comrades have yearned for ...

What better way to end it all than a papal insight into the deplorables, with more to be found via Pope here ..

Indeed, indeed, the pond only runs approved comics and cartoons ...