The pond gets with the Daily Terror's vision thingie ...

Here in Sydney, proud Sydney-siders woke to very exciting news, and a transforming vision ...

Others should go about their daily business while the pond pauses to celebrate ... the pond suggests South Australians head off to the multifunction polis, always a grand and stimulating day out ...

Oh sure on the front page, the Terror devotes the top of the page to vile murders, but hey it's a tabloid. Elsewhere in the digital edition, the news is exceptionally exciting ...

Leading the way is the whippersnapper, spreading gold and unguents and even doing an RSPCA with the little beasties in the Sydney fields...

And so on ... and naturally the Terror was front and centre, setting aside bashing of Islamics for the day, and muting the western Sydney fear, terror and loathing dial way down from 11 ...

The pond almost shed a tear at so much exciting vitality surging around it.

There's nothing like a new building to ensure everyone's aware things are on the move, and the Terrorists were hitting the road in style ...

A great, global hub of science, learning and beauty!

And the Terror's there to celebrate this transformation. A silicon harbour, and never mind petty notions that the little fishies might not adapt to the silicon:

Yes, and where copper wires zoom messages from home to home faster than light ...

Naturally the pond was entranced, transfixed, and wanted to know more, and what do you know, there was the visionary himself, given multiple splashes ...

By this time, the pond was positively soaring with excitement ...

Indeed, indeed. And it goes without saying, if people want to live in Adelaide, they're delusional, and the whole nation will fall apart ...

What this country needs is tabloid newspapers with vision! Energising advocates ...

Yes, that's why the federal government has decided to build a second airport and think about a rail link a long way down the track, so that Sydney might replicate Melbourne's splendid example.

And then to the sad news ...

Yes, at that very moment the pond logged in, there was only one person listening, and it was the pond ...

Even worse, there was a fly in the ointment, a worm in the rose, a canker at the core ... because on the very same whirligig of digital pleasures, who should turn up?

Yes, the inconsolable Bolter has at last, and only because of his enduring, undying hatred of Malcolm Turnbull, discovered that the Liberal NBN is a dud of the first water ... slow to arrive, slow in function, and the only thing mega about it is the mega-budget blow out ...

Indeed, and under questioning the NBN cheerfully recently advised NBN spent $14m on 1800km of copper for FTTN.

Because that's what happens when you change course in mid-stream, and adopt a mish-mash of technologies and strategies, seeking to minimise costs in a way that will ensure a continuing budget blow-out.

Never mind, the pond is excitedly looking forward to the transforming potential of the NBN in its area ... after all, if the intertubes is slow, the pond will be able to get out and about on public transport, and walk in the sun, and be a social animal, and that's just as well, because ... well because the pond made the fatal mistake of wondering when the third rate NBN might land in its area ...

Yes, NBN Co is going to start building the expected HFC technology in 2018, which will be terrific news for the Telstra and Optus HFC cabling strung out along the street in which the pond dwells ... built decades ago, and now almost as useless as the rotting sodden copper phone lines that lurk in the trenches in the street ...

And you can get your own exciting news here, (with forced video), because ... it has to be noted ... the NBN site is singularly, spectacularly useless ...

Now if you want more information, you might head off to Delimiter, which has released the NBN ready for service info, or read 24 Hours of NBN information manipulation  (google is currently reporting certifying authority invalid) ... and so on and so forth, but the pond is mightily pleased that for whatever reason, the Bolter has just now discovered that the project has gone off the rails ...

Now in time honoured fashion, the Bolter first sheets home blame to Labor ... until his attention turns to Turnbull ...

And so, the pond and the Bolter are suddenly in synch ... quite possibly for the first time, though it should be remembered that this didn't happen by both of us starting from here.

The Bolter started - like many other reptiles - with the notion that the NBN was a waste of time and money. Chairman Rupert didn't want it, and the reptiles faithfully fell into line, and did their best to degut it and ruin it ... and thanks to Malware, they have achieved their aim.

Back in those days, it was all the fault of the Labor party, and Turnbull was going to fix it. (How bad is the NBN really? and a zillion other examples).

The reptiles never really understood or accepted the notion of a wired world. They get excited about buildings and centres of vision and beauty and the rest of the yadda yadda, and if they pause to think about a wired world, it's only to resent it because of the way it's killed newspapers and ruined their business model ...

They can understand transforming buildings and the rest of the nonsense currently being celebrated by the Terror.

The notion that the entirety of the world might be transformed by speedy connectivity is far too abstract for them ...

It is also too abstract for Mike Baird and for Malcolm Turnbull, out spruiking the latest bit of glossy developer-directed boondoggle, while the tragedy of a slow-moving, third rate, NBN-fucked broadband system messily rolls out around them ...

And there's the real tragedy of living in Sydney with a crappy tabloid like the Daily Terror imagining it's got the vision thingie ...

Sadly it's rare that the problem is the solution, and the Terrorists are at the heart of the problem ...

And for those who came in too late, too young to remember, or too old and so pleased to forget, here's the multifunction polis that never was ... in the Canberra Times, 1st August 1991:

Silicon harbour? What happened to the wired silicon country?

Copper, that's what, or HFC at a pinch...

But is there any upside? Of course there is, because the last few years have kept David Pope in business, with a reliable go to source for his gags ... (and more recent Pope here).