Coulda, woulda, shoulda, part zillion, and by the way it's all the fault of the social luvvie media ...

What better way to start a Saturday sojourn with the dog botherer, as, gazing up from its tablet screen, the pond wistfully watches the penny lizards dance in the warming sun. 

And lo, over there, the first blowie of summer batters its head against the window pane, while up above the planes drone by, changing gears with a loud roar, dropping personalised touches of Avgas carbon on the roof and delivering toads to the mantoado v. mantoado feud that will see the deep northerners bled dry by the huckstering vampires of NSW tourism ...

Yes it's those personal humanising touches that always help readers relate, and what an excellent way to relate to the dog botherer, as he adopts the pose of stern dad, and hands out some stern words, comforting and organising, to the children playing their games in federal politics ...

No doubt by this point you were almost moved to tears by the dog botherer's sense of balance and poise and his readiness to embrace futurism. 

Well not by giving up his tree-killing newspapers and certainly not by having a kind word for the superficiality of the digital media age...

... but by celebrating the really rich deep understanding you can get from a Murdochian tabloid ...

 Oh yes, that's the very essence of the subtlety and nuance we need ... because volatility and superficiality is everywhere on the full to overflowing intertubes ...

Ah, so that's what it's all about. Just another bout of moping and wailing and mourning and railing, and stewing about what might have been, but now can never be ... and tawdry retweets and somehow it's all the fault of the digerati ...

The redeemer done down by the schemers. What if he'd had a chance to flower, to recover? He was doing so well those first couple of years ...

Not that there's any stewing, mind you, nor basting in juices, nor bitterness, nor a mind set so myopic and fixated and repetitive and blame gaming that it hints at an alarming loss of cells ... or at least a refusal for anyone to accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions, deeds and ineptness ...

And so the yearning continues. Just a little more than the margin of error, the voters haven't had their say, and so now it's time to fool the luvvies, play them for suckers, continue being worshipped by progressives, and change the tone of the debate ... by maintaining the hard man stance, and instituting hard core policies, in effect, becoming a de facto Tony Abbott ...

Is there a flaw to this bizarre logic?

Can anyone else sense that newsprint might be befuddling the dog botherer?

What does the Bolter think of mature judgments and the voters usually getting it right, the very same voters who only a couple of years ago voted for a dud lemon, an epic flop ...?

Well of course he is.

How else can the redeemer now be redeemed and the civil war continue? After all, within hours of Turnbull softening his tone, terror stalked the streets. QED, it's all his fault ...

Oh yes, the civil war is alive and well in Murdoch la la land ... and who knows, it might yet make the Americans gasp in admiration at the way the game's played down under ...