(Above: the Fairfaxians have put veteran cartoonist Ron Tandberg as the cartoon of the day, here, but it creates a dilemma for the pond. Isn't the observation of reality just science in action? What makes this a cartoon, as opposed to a note on the laws of thermodynamics? Here you go Greg Hunt, the laws are here and waiting for you).
The pond never comments on polls.
It doesn't matter what an individual poll says, there's only one poll that counts, and that's on polling day.
An individual poll is like a man pissing into the wind, a man inspecting the entrails, a man checking the runes, a man consulting the stars and doing a horoscope, or a man dallying with a psychic (no need to involve women in this sort of nastiness).
And so on and so forth endlessly ... except of course each poll, once upon a time, was seized on as a fresh reason for outraged denunciations of the government.
The only use the current poll has for the reptiles at the lizard Oz is to work out the size of the task confronting the knob polishers and the crusading hagiographers in their valiant fight to defeat the forces of darkness, including but not limited to the ABC, the Fairfaxians, and the Graudian leftists.
It seems that the size of the task is growing:
How soon before hares are set loose?
How soon before Tony Abbott is judged a neophyte failure? And the plotters start plotting their coups?
How soon before individual ministers are judged inept and a cabinet shuffle is required?
How soon before jolly Joe must pay a price for hopping into bed with the greenies? Not so much for the policy involved but the naked hypocrisy ...
How soon before Andrew Robb is revealed as a complete fool, and a deviant and devious one at that, for unilaterally deciding he can determine the terms of a treaty with wide-ranging implications but keep them in secret and only reveal them ... after signing?
How soon before Ian Macfarlane is forced to admit he doesn't have a handle on much of anything, most of all the dries lined up against him?
How soon before Julie Bishop declares war on China? Or can we settle for Indonesia and East Timor?
It seems the task is already getting too hard. Just this morning the bouffant one has flung his hands in the air in exasperation and despair:
Oh come now, bouffant one, take the game in the right spirit. The pond is still offering very attractive odds on whether poodle Pyne, the bumble-footed minister who caused all the Conski fuss, or Scott "who can I alienate now?" Morrison will be the first to fall ...
There's really no reason to read the groomed one's Disillusion is growing beyond the levy lift, which is happily behind the paywall, because it only offers seven extremely short parts and a few banal observations of the kind required to accompany the lizard Oz's EXCLUSIVE poll.
The bouffant one is unhappy:
The Prime Minister is now faced with the reality of growing disillusion from the electorate that goes well beyond the carbon tax. All his efforts to kill expectations before the election have fallen short; voters are expecting action - and quick action...
Abbott's direct, clear and disciplined message from opposition, which gave him such advantage for so long, is not so easily achievable in government where distractions abound and voters expected sudden, decisive change.
And that's it, and for this they expect subscribers to pay?
Meanwhile, to prove that the reptiles are determined to live in the past, and pursue past grudges, the head lead at the top of the digital splash is the news that there are grounds to suspect that Bruce Wilson is guilty of fraud...
Bruce Wilson, you ponder? Who is that? Or perhaps you might say, but wasn't it clear long ago that he was a dodgy union brother?
Let the reptiles help you out:
Victoria's most senior magistrate has found reasonable grounds to conclude that Julia Gillard's former boyfriend was involved in a fraud, negating his right to claim privilege over documents held at her old law firm.
Chief Magistrate Peter Lauritsen yesterday granted Victoria Police access to 363 documents that have remained sealed since they were seized under warrant from Slater and Gordon's Melbourne office.
Yes, he's a man with no name and no status at all, except for that one crucial element: he's Julia Gillard's former boyfriend.
No need to mention the actual alleged guilty party in the story, his actual name, in the first two pars. Just hammer home the connection: he's Julia Gillard's former boyfriend.
Enough said, and no more need be said. The man Wilson has no more meaning or standing than William Wilson did in that Edgar Allan Poe short story. He exists only as a doppelgänger, a stalking horse, the short end of a longer game, and you need never worry about his name, not even the expectation of a mention of this shadowy figure in the first two pars of a story ostensibly about him.
All you need to know and to remember is that he's Julia Gillard's former boyfriend ... gaze into this stick.
Meanwhile, the Fairfaxians are continuing their evil, wicked destabilising campaign:
Put it another way:
Here, look at this stick, there'll be a flash of light, and then you'll completely forget this rag just a few short months ago urged its readers to vote for Tony Abbott.
Buyer's remorse so soon?
Prime Minister Tony Abbott's much-touted "first 100 days of action" for his "no surprises, no excuses" government will run out on Boxing Day. (here)
Uh huh. So that's when we all line up at the exchanges, returns and refund section of the store.
The Fairfaxian editorialist goes through a wide range of lamentations, of tears and grief, but strangely fails to mention the TPP for the impending disaster it is. But at least someone in Fairfax has noticed:
The government has refused the Senate access to the secret text of the trade deal it is negotiating in Singapore, saying it will only be made public after it has been signed. (here)
Ah well, Australia fucked up in its negotiations on the United States free trade agreement, with no discernible or apparent benefits to Australia, they've just fucked up in South Korea, they fucked up long ago in Hong Kong and now Philip Morris is extracting a pretty legal price, so where's the harm in that hapless goose Andrew Robb fucking up in Singapore ... the howls will come soon enough, as we learn that once again on the world stage, people like Robb are just pawns ready to be mug punters for the House of Mouse.
Meanwhile, the Fairfaxians have featured this splash at the top of their digital page:
Oh dear, Judge Kevin Moore ... water-cooler racism? (here)
Well hear this, activist judge.
Our very own desiccated coconut with cocoa coating, our very own prattling Polonius, our dearly beloved inner city elitist, isn't going to stand for that sort of idle defamation.
He's shocked and outraged. Enough of this idle UK tribunal, judge approved talk of racism, as you can read in ASIO acting to prevent Australians fighting in the Syrian war is not racist.
As usual, it's Hendo Tuesday, and as usual, there's absolutely no reason to read Hendo, especially if you want a relaxed start to the second day of the working week, but Hendo gourmets will find the usual stylings irresistible. Like the uncanny juxtaposition of these sentences:
The number of radical Islamists in Australia appears to be relatively small. However, it is not in Australia's national interest that its citizens, however few, become radicalised and skilled with weapons while engaging in civil wars.
Uh huh. A hit, a veritable hit ... Except ...
There is no suggestion that Australian Muslims intent on fighting in Syria want to harm Australia.
Say what? Don't you mean?
... it is believed that about a 10th of Islamists who fight overseas return radicalised to their home country.
Oh now the pond is completely confused.
They return radicalised and skilled in weapons, but that's irrelevant because there's no indication that they intend to harm Australia, yet the Islamic community is a hotbed of terrorist activity, as Hendo helpfully explains, and one in ten return as dangerous radicals?
Talk about twists and turns and gobbledegook.
Yep, you're watching a man contort himself like he's playing a solo game of Twister because he just can't come out and say directly what he thinks.
Of course he's wanting to suggest, hint and evoke the possibility that Australian Muslims intent on fighting in Syria will return to Australia with the notion of carrying on jihad here ...
Instead Hendo resorts to his favourite old tricks.
Damn you softie Linda Mottram, avoiding the tough questions. Why isn't Hendo on breakfast for the ABC's 702, asking all the hard questions. By golly that'll fix 702 ratings, fix 'em good. With a bit of luck they'd never recover.
Come to think of it, if we could clone him, we could also put him on benches throughout the land ...
In all cases, the accused Islamists were found guilty by juries. All received substantial prison sentences, despite the fact that some came before left-liberal judges.
Say again?
Despite the fact that ...
... that judges, whatever their political persuasion, understood that the law is the law, unlike the rabid ideological zealotry that refracts all law through the political prism of left and right.
Why henceforth, the pond will start all its pieces despite the fact that this or that piece of commentary was written by a raving ranting crazed right wing ratbag of the Sydney Institute kind ...we have to agree that Tony Abbott has made a fine mess of his first few months in office, and no Islamic jihadist off to Syria can make us forget it ..
Why it's enough for the pond to say farewell to Woodrow Wilson and all the other Wilsons, and head off to stand in the queue at the returns aisle.
Damn it, we didn't pay for the present, we didn't want it, and now, damn sure, we'll take the cash and scarper ...
(And more First Dog here)
Ach, DP, but on the positive side, wouldn't you love to be on the East Asian side of dealings with this mob of tools? Is there any one who is not a living, walking, talking, breathing caricature of the Great White Hope? The strut, the jut, the look-at-me, the earnest talking-points, the styled interview choreographed by Peta & Lynton?
ReplyDeleteAnd, right on the cusp of GM selling off its' plant to Daewoo, what, really, is wrong with a neat, Korean compact vehicle as long as it's still named Holden? Sure, the supersize workers will be nowhere as nimble on the line as Filipinos, so we'll need to pay more to ensure the profitability. Skills? What??
But, on actual policy, just keep holding the line, Team Oz, until Roop is ready to make a break for renewables Futures. We'll happily pay for the privilege of helping another plutocrat on to his/her next $Bn. An electorate that can't walk past corn chips and cartons of beer can't be all bad.
Shanahan always believes he has the answers to government problems whether that government is Labor or Coalition. We are so fortunate that none of his solutions have been, nor are, or ever will be right.
ReplyDeleteFirst Dog has succeeded in spelling that very difficult word 'hypocrisy'. All the energy that went into that must have left him exhausted; the very next word is a howler!
ReplyDeleteAre you sure he wasn't referring to lead, Ian? You know, the times of gold turned to the times of lead? :)
DeleteThe SMH editor must rue the day his paper editorialized prominently in support of Abbott.
ReplyDeleteIt says a great deal about editorial judgement and plain old common sense that the senior executives at the Herald did not cast a shrewder eye over TA and his team. Not delivering on his promises is he. Who would have thought. Actually the non-delivery of key promises is probably the only thing he has going for him.
I am totally appalled at the likelihood that this govt will sell us out by signing the TPP. The secrecy is scary.
They are not adults and they treat us like children.
Nothing wrong with Abbott & Co, according to Bolt:
ReplyDelete“Time the Abbott Government revised its media strategy big time. Its problem isn’t the execution but the sale - and the hysterical opposition from the media Left”
No mention of the "hysterical opposition" from the media Right when Labor was in government.
http://tinyurl.com/k2rqen4
Hb - doesn't the Bolter come in on cue. Every time. He is like the mustachioed villan in a children's pantomime charging in from stage right, swirling his cape, twirling his mo and looking all wild-eyed. So boring.
Delete