Everything worrisome comes out of Queensland, and not least is Clive Palmer, as the Bolter tells us in Clive Palmer is a man who tells it like it isn't:
Clive Palmer, the Bolter assures us with thin, outraged, pursed lips, is no laughing matter, which rather ruins things for the pond, because if you can't laugh at Australian politics and Clive Palmer and his entourage in particular, what on earth can you laugh at?
Of course back in the day, the Bolter was appalled at the outrageous behaviour of Wayne Swan, scapegoating hapless, innocent billionaires:
Wayne Swan goes back to the poisoned well, drawing on the same destructive envy and hatred he’s peddled for a year. It’s the kind of low-rent thinking you’d expect from a man whose work as a Treasurer is inspired by a pop song:
The Treasurer, Wayne Swan, will intensify his assaults on the billionaires Clive Palmer, Andrew Forrest and Gina Rinehart tonight… All while channelling rock icon Bruce Springsteen, who the Treasurer cites as his greatest inspiration… (Swan back to scapegoating the rich)
Shocking Swannie, shame on you.
You should leave it to the Bolter to scapegoat the rich.
Remember the Bolter has better taste in opera and red wine, and may he never again be forced to listen to local operas by wretches like Brett Dean and Richard Meale, or for that matter, rubbish like The Fiery Angel.
Back in the day of course, Palmer was one of the three brave, persecuted amigos, Clive, Gina and Twiggy, battling the wicked mining tax, riding high as crusaders against socialism, fighting the good fight against class warfare, and standing up for battling billionaires doing it tough.
Palmer bankrolled the Queensland LNP merger, and helped pave the way for Campbell Newman, who is now doing fine work sacking public servants, demonising bikie and paedophile lovers and destroying the justice system.
Back in the day, in February 2010, Tim Bleagh was ecstatic about the way Clive shoved it to the greenies, and Bleagh wanted a redneck shredneck outlaw country tunesmith to celebrate Clive's new mega-mine in song (well Bleagh's taste doesn't quite run to Puccini or even the Boss):
This rocks:
An Australian firm has signed a $60bn deal to supply coal to Chinese power stations. Clive Palmer, chairman of the company, Resourcehouse, said it was Australia’s “biggest ever export contract”. Under the deal, the firm will build a new mining complex to give China Power International Development 30m tonnes of coal a year for 20 years.
We need an Australian Tim Montana to commemorate our new mega-mine in song. Even better, the mine – six mines, in fact – will apparently require the construction of a new dam, a new power grid, 500km of railway line and a 570km water pipeline. That means jobs, people. Tens of thousands of wonderful, life-enhancing, car-buying, family-building jobs. Naturally, greenoids are bawling:
A $69 billion coal deal announced by mining magnate Clive Palmer and Premier Anna Bligh is “another nail in the coffin of our climate”, says Friends of the Earth Brisbane.
Sucked in, losers. But no word yet from Kevin Rudd; he’s likely still consoling little Gracie, who at the moment probably feels let down. We now live in a time when massive job creation is regarded by the Prime Minister as a political liability.
Those were the glory days, when you could approach Clive for a helping hand in the matter of the rough Brough ...
Clive was onside with Gina who was onside with Twiggy and no one thought billionaires should be punished for going about their business, interfering with the Ten network, buying into Fairfax, denouncing climate science or shipping Australia off to any interested buyer ...
The Bolter himself was always ready to stand tall when miners got a knock, like the pitiful one that Jessica Irvine attempted for the Fairfaxians in They're our resources, and it's time miners paid more to dig them up. Shame on you Jessica!
Labor sure is laying into "greedy" miners, and many journalists couldn't agree more.
Here's Sydney Morning Herald writer Jessica Irvine: "Those minerals they're mining - all that gold, iron ore, coal and uranium - it's yours. You own it."
Then here's a shovel, Jessica. Go dig.
But wait. Don't know where it is? Can't move your mountain from a desert to a port, and to a foreign mill? That makes your rocks worthless, right?
Meanwhile, Andrew Forrest finds the ore and develops the mines.
He builds a railway, port, power stations, roads and housing. He lines up lenders and buyers, and bets $8.4 billion that he can expand without losing the lot.
Concedes Jessica: "It helps to have private companies to dig this stuff up for us."
"Helps?" So which bit did you do?
Let that be a lesson Jessica. Get a little dirt on your hands girl, (you gotta) get a little dirt on your hands, if you're going to grow up to be a big big Bolter ...
Oh those brave, bold miners. Twiggy, Gina, patron of many, no need to mention names, too sordid, and yes, Clive, the Titanic man too ...
Remind us Barners:
...there is no doubt that Palmer's public rhetoric has been more strident than that of mining figures such as BHP Billiton's Marius Kloppers and Fortescue's Andrew Forrest.
But the big talk has a purpose, according to Senator Barnaby Joyce. ''Clive enjoys political pugilism,'' Joyce says. ''Sometimes people can say things just to see if they get a bite.'' Joyce says the magnate reminds him of his uncle who ''used to change the rear-vision mirror to see what happened to your face when he would make a comment to get a reaction … to get a sense of joy out of unsettling people".
But his heart was in the right place:
... Joyce says Palmer's approach was simply to put his views and ended with: ''You must always remember to do what you think is right'' - strong advice from the man who was his party's biggest donor. (here)
Strong, useful advice! And bulk money too!
But times change and now the Bolter is unsettled by the 'so-called' poseur:
So-called mining "billionaire" Clive Palmer is not just an embarrassment to our democracy but a danger.
Voters who last month gave Palmer's new party potentially three senators - and a critical share of the balance of power - no doubt thought he was another tell-it-like-it-is maverick.
In fact he's a man who too often tells it like it isn't and uses his money to take on critics with court action.
But, but, he was only taking on Bruce-loving Swannie and his socialist pinko pervert mining tax and climate scientists with their shameless theological ways and ...
Oh how times change. The Bolter has turned quite Swannie:
Palmer insists he just got into politics to help Australia and is being persecuted by papers like this, owned by Rupert Murdoch, whose estranged wife Palmer claims is a "Chinese spy".
But in my view he's sinister, irrational and a self-serving bully who refuses to answer basic questions about the health of his businesses and his wealth, which in June he boasted was $6 billion.
What next? A lengthy article for The Monthly denouncing the filthy rich and their irrational, sinister, self-serving bullying ways?
Could the Bolter take over the title of scapegoater of the rich, and fiercest warrior in the class warfare league dedicated to undermining heroic miners? Will quotes from Bruce Springsteen begin to seep into his writing?
When I die I don't want no part of heaven
I would not do heaven's work well
I pray the devil comes and takes me
To stand in the fiery furnaces of hell
How about a double act, the Bolter and Swannie, doing John Barry's music from the Bond movies, with Clive as the capitalist villain intent on ruining the world?
Never mind, the Bolter has discovered the shame of it all, and the shame belongs - of course, inevitably, it should almost go without saying - to the ABC:
It should shame us that such a conspiracist convinced so many Australians to give him their vote.
It should particularly embarrass the ABC, which gave Palmer so many softball interviews (as a critic of Tony Abbott) that he regularly praises ABC host Tony Jones as "the best journalist in Australia".
You see, when Palmer says he "shouldn't be in Parliament" not one of us should laugh.
It should also shame us, or at least be a rich source of hollow laughter, or deep concern, that the Bolter seems to have entirely lost his memory.
It seems he's forgotten how Clive was a powerhouse in the LNP in Queensland, and a powerhouse in the rhetoric of class warfare, and how the conservative commentariat celebrated with many songs about how Clive and mining were good, and climate science was bad.
No, not just good, bloody great for the country - mining - and bloody awful for the country - theological climate scientists - and hip hip hooray, the wicked greenies and Jessica just had to suck it up. Get a little dirt on your hands girl, get a little dirt on your hands, you gotta get a little dirt if you want to be a big big Bolter ...
What joy that Clive was a powerhouse for climate science denialism.
All this, and his ways of working were well known long before he went rogue, and stepped outside the LNP tent, and then suddenly also stepped outside the News Corp's commentariat caravan ...
Back in the day they all had a kind word for the "spitefully demonised" Palmer, like Akker Dakker writing in June 2010 here:
Only now has the Australian business sector, which snuggled up to Rudd Labor and has cosily embraced the state Labor governments, finally woken up to the real cost of its short-sighted foolishness. Its not the mining sector which has driven the inflationary wage spiral, its not even the well-fed but productive mining czar Clive Palmer, who has been so spitefully demonised by the Rudd Cabinet. (here)
And now the spiteful Andrew Bolt spitefully demonises the well-fed but productive mining czar ...
Well the Bolter tells us not to laugh, but really, the pond reserves the right to cackle, chuckle, laugh and launch into hysteria when the moment's right ...
To blame Palmer on the ABC is truly rich, an incredibly inventive re-writing of history, as if the commentariat celebration of Palmer and the LNP and Campbell Newman and the destruction of the mining tax and climate denialism and the three mining amigos could and should be stricken from the record ...
And while we're laughing, the pond came across this prediction by Samuel J on the Catallaxy Files back in March 23 2011:
Sorry, Campbell, you may have been a promising potential state politician but you’ve blown it.
Labor will be re-elected. You will not win your seat. And you will no longer be Lord Mayor. A trifecta of sorts.
Yes, yes, please let the pond have a go. That sounds like fun. How about the Bolter will embrace climate science, write thoughtful pieces denouncing Tony Abbott's climate science policies, and remind the world that he and Clive Palmer once were denialists together, until the Bolter came to his senses and repented ...
By golly, that'll teach Samuel J how to do predictions, and if you believe that, we've got a super memory pill to sell you. Works like a charm, though there are indications one of the side effects is that it can be selective ...
Can it get any sillier, any funnier? Of course it can, especially if you read ALP should have wooed Clive Palmer says Peter Beattie.
Yep, the ALP should woo Clive to score his preferences. Class warfare turns epic Beattie class suck.
Forget it Jake, it's Queensland town ...
(Below: a few cartoons from the glory days when Tony Abbott and Clive were one, and the class war on billionaires deplored by all, and including a riff from the immortal David Pope on Don Quixote, for the Canberra Times 12 March 2012, which you can find here).
"But in my view he's sinister, irrational and a self-serving bully who refuses to answer basic questions about the health of his businesses and his wealth, which in June he boasted was $6 billion."
ReplyDelete- Ohh .. you're talking about Clive, and not Tony refusing to answer questions.
That Pope cartoon is gold!
ReplyDelete