More news of simpering hagiographers ...

(Above: let's hear it for hagiography)


There are hagiographers to the left of the pond ... hagiographers to the right ... hagiographers everywhere ...

Well perhaps not to the left, and certainly not of a republican bent.

Yep, once again Sydney has offered up the nauseating spectacle of royal fever, and this for a lad who thus far has distinguished himself sporting a Nazi uniform and displaying the royal jewels in Vegas, when unfortunately what happened in Vegas refused to stay in Vegas ...

He also indulged in a little pot-smoking and under-age drinking, not that there's much wrong with that, except when the commentariat go into a frenzy, berating young 'uns for being dissolute and irresponsible and drug-fiends and a disgrace, and in my day and so on and so forth ... and then promptly falling into a simpering frenzy about Prince Harry ...

They were all at it ...

Over at monarchists HQ, they were gushing and going gooey eyed about the royal drug and sex fiend (and nothing wrong with that unless you happen to be a republican drug and sex fiend).

You can join them if you like, here, and click through to the videos, and possibly learn how Australia is a crowned republic, or at least learn how to spout humbug and nonsense ...

None of them were inclined to show the royals showing the youff of today the way forward, and so that lot falls to the pond as it goes into a tabloid frenzy worthy of the dunghill known as the UK press:

And so on and so forth and never mind the ragheads or the Pakis or other jolly terms applied to chums having fun, because everything's a jolly jape when you're filthy rich and royal and an entire town simpers and fawns over you, including that fawner in chief, Australia's PM ...

So while we're on a tabloid roll - the pond so rarely gets a chance, what with all the idle chatter of Sartre and Wittgenstein and the deeper contextual meanings of Finnegan's Wake  - what should turn up this Sunday for amusement?

What's that you say? It's the one-time frothing and foaming frenzied Akker Dakker turned court hagiographer in High hopes for a low-key Abbott.

Oh sure, it had its high points, including this:

Even the most committed Labor supporters working in the Fairfax press had to backtrack on their predictions of diplomatic failure and begrudgingly admit that Abbott’s visit had been an outstanding success.


This at the very moment the lizards at the Terror were busy recyling yet another outburst from Peter van Onselen, who had already railed at Dear Leader in the lizard Oz by claiming he showed steroidal chutzpah in Indonesia:

The thought of this de facto Fairfaxian sneaking inside the News Corp tent and spouting heresy naturally sent the Bolter into a frenzy, as you can read in Abbott damned after three weeks of not breaking promises, where in the usual way, the Bolter breaks the paywall and removes any need for himself to think ... by quoting lengthy slabs of the van Onselen piece.

What a cheap, sordid, reactive, trading off, blogger he is, as low and as common as the pond ...

Which leads the pond to an aside and a note to the editor of the Daily Terror.

Dude, dude, this breaching of the paywall simply has to stop. And it's not just the Bolter, it's you.

You see, you can read Akker Dakker's hagiographic simpering for free in his blog - which is what we've linked to above - yet if you click on it in the opinion section, you cop this:

Dude, dude, can't you see how fucked in the head, what a muddle-headed wombat approach it is, to ask for registration in one section of the rag, and yet in another provide free, easy and wide open access without even a hint of news+?

Get a grip of yourself, you deadbeat bum ... either give up paywall and let the simpering Akker Dakker roam free, or give up the blogs ...

Meanwhile, back to the main theme, it's great fun that the News Corp mob are arguing and bickering amongst themselves,  and at such an early stage of Dear Leaders reign, and it makes the conclusion to Akker Dakker's hagiography all the funnier:

Barely a month since the election and the Abbott government is establishing its style. 
Not the flash-and-trash that marked Labor but a solid, unostentatious down-to-earth professional approach that bodes well for the nation’s future.

Establishing its style?

Why yes, and over at the Fairfaxians, it seems the style is all Bollywood a go go:

Whimsically The Age presented it with a more satirical edge:

You can read the story yourself here (forced video at end of link), but it would seem, on the surface and as deep as you can go in the shallow end of the pool to be a sublime example of shameless rorting, with Barners, MP for Hicksville, aka Tamworth, once the centre of the known universe, excelling himself.

It's such a delight, the pond feels compelled to quote The Age quoting the mighty member:

After a private jet flew him to Malaysia, Mr Joyce claimed a $5500 flight home for him and his wife from Kuala Lumpur. 
The day of the flight, Mr Joyce met Malaysian officials at noon and at 3pm before flying home at 10pm. 
"My study period in this country was only of one day's duration," Mr Joyce wrote in an obligatory report about his study tour, "but it was of great assistance in familiarising myself with Malaysia". 
Mr Joyce summarised his top five findings in the opening page of his report. The first read: "Malaysia has recently experienced high levels of economic growth, which has created urban cities comparable in wealth to cities in developed countries." 
Mr Joyce's second major finding was that economic disadvantage in Malaysia remained, particularly in rural areas. 
Some of the insights Mr Joyce gleaned appear to have come outside of meetings: "Proximate to Kuala Lumpur and running to Singapore are substantial freeways that would look quite in place in an Australian major capital city." 
Mr Joyce completed his piece, writing: "In summary, water is wealth, housing is health and roads bring the progression of social services."

It is, of course, an epic fail. Not a single word about catching the monorail, getting off at Pasar Seni to buy a cheap watch in China Town, or getting off at Masjid Jamek to visit Little India, and not a word about visiting the Petronas twin towers - pretty much all you need to do in Kuala Lumpur for a cliched tourist overview garnered on a one day stopover junket.

Junket! At the taxpayers' expense

Instead we're offered a painful essay of the kind a year ten student could cobble together from a wiki page ....

Oh yes, the Abbott government is quietly establishing its style, and thanks to Barners, MP for hicksville, what a style it is ...

Shades of Orwell, as the new pigs show just as much enthusiasm for the trough as the old pigs. Or should that be elephants?

(Below: Nicholson getting it right in 2011. More Nicholson here).