Sunday, August 01, 2010

An apology to geese ...

Loon pond unreservedly withdraws any imputations, sly innuendoes or muttered implications, let alone imprecations, in comparing geese to Alexander Downer ...

The pond understands that such allegations and misrepresentations are hurtful, damaging and upsetting to geese, and profoundly apologises for any suffering or tearfulness thereby caused.


... Mr Downer has released a statement this morning saying the interpretation placed on the comments he made are "wrong".

"The interpretation placed on my comments to the Sunday Telegraph is wrong," he said.

"Kevin Rudd was not used by me or other members of the Liberal Party as a so-called 'double agent' to leak material against other members of the Labor Party."

Mr Downer says the journalist who wrote the story has "created a more controversial story than my comments warranted".


That'd be the story prepared for the tabloid gutter Murdoch press by a "Staff Writer" - handy that if it came to legal action - under the header Libs: Kevin 007 was our 'double agent'. (And as featured also in The Australian, and already celebrated on the pond).



Uh oh. Done it again.

Loon pond unreservedly withdraws any imputations, sly innuendoes or muttered implications, let alone imprecations, in comparing gutters to the Murdoch press ...

The pond understands gutters perform tremendously useful work channeling storm water away from dwellings, and that gutters aren't responsible for the refuse dropped into them by litterbugs, and that the mud that sometimes congregates and often sticks in them is actually the fault of poor council maintenance, and not the fault of gutters, who just try to do their jobs to the best of their ability.

Loon pond understands that gutters do sterling dinkum hard Aussie yakka, oi, oi, unlike the Murdoch press, which is totally useless, when not being vicious or acting like a common sordid reprehensible town gossip flinging mud in the hope that some of it will stick.

Loon pond understands that such allegations and misrepresentations and comparisons of gutters to the tabloid press are hurtful, damaging and upsetting to gutters, and profoundly apologises for any suffering or tearfulness thereby caused.

On the other hand, loon pond isn't terribly worried about calling the Murdoch press tabloid yellow, including The Australian. Yellow isn't our favourite colour, and it must take it according to the company it finds itself in.

Think. Again.

Oh oh. This just in. Loon pond apologises to town gossips, as it understands that town gossips perform a useful function by relating matters of harmless trivia to other members of the town, such is "lordy, ain't it hot today" and "did you hear she's having twins", thereby providing oil to ease the squeaks of discontent, and therefore such gossiping is totally benign and utterly unlike the guttersniping squalid sordid ways of the Murdoch press.

Oh bugger it, no we're not going to apologise to guttersnipes, even if originally snipes performed the socially useful job of gathering refuse from the gutters of city streets.

They didn't clear out the Murdoch press, did they, and for that the snipe must be damned to eternity ...

(Below: meanwhile, can someone at the ABC explain why its radio news service ran with the Murdoch story in the morning, without checking, cavil or precaution, before finally coming up with this?)

3 comments:

  1. Hohoho, amazing how a sick man in hospital CAN actually defend himself after all. Amazing how "talk to my lawyers" can bring a flurry of denials too...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have to check if I’ve developed colour blindness. I always believed the Murdoch press, particularly The Australian, to be green due to its unremitting diarrhoea of codswallop. The first step in treating codswallop poisoning is the expulsion of infected journalists who repeat their one-eyed claptrap week after week. Keyboards used by infected journalists must be sealed in plastic airtight bags and placed at least 1 kilometre underground.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think we can compromise, work out a deal, do the hard yards, move forward, commit to Action Jackson, and settle on chartreuse:

    1. adj., having the quality of a lie or an otherwise fallacious account, especially when told as if it were true.

    2. n., a fallacious account or outlandish tale delivered under the pretense of truth.

    3. v., to give a fallacious account or outlandish tale with the pretense of presenting factual data.

    4. n., adj., some fake-ass color that some purport to be either an u-g-l-y yellow or a green which resembles a freshly cut lawn, after it has been regurgitated by a family pet.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chartreuse&defid=3907786

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chartreuse_(color)

    ReplyDelete

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