Miranda Devine, and tales of Teflon Rudd, Superman Abbott and evil genius Kryptonite wielding Malcolm "Lex Luthor" Turnbull ...

(Above: attack of the fifty foot eyesores).

Much excitement here at the pond as we waltzed out to the letter box in search of stimulating junk mail, and out tumbled a letter from our local member Anthony Albanese.

Dear Dorothy, or words to that effect, it started, in a rather intimate way, since we've never met the man, The Rudd Government is committed to action on climate change. I was vastly relieved to learn that hand wringing and letter writing is a commitment to action, and now I know what's turned up as an issue in Labor party polling in the inner west.

As for the rest of the correspondence, it was full of reassuring words, and much exciting new technology, and for a nano second I was tempted to write back, in an intimate way, since now we're virtually pen pals, saying Dear Anthony, the sorrow and the pity, cheers Dorothy, but decided that referencing a film by Marcel Ophüls was both pretentious and irrelevant.

Still, now the MPs are using up their allowance on 100% recycled paper using waterless printing processes to strut about and loudly proclaim much ado about nothing, can an election be far away?

We only ever hear from Mr Albanese about the time he needs our vote ...

Meanwhile, the fall out from the NSW twitter fest continues, with some pundits suggesting that talking of the government vision thingie wasn't a matter of restricting it to 140 characters, but rather involved the difficulty of finding things to say that would fill in the biblical length.

When it came to the issues, all we could come up with for messaging was NSW Labor vote now plz. Gone in sixty seconds ...

Now that's a more sophisticated movie reference. I suppose we could have added vision thingie, and management thingie, and ditzie thingie, but the very idea of having a policy discussion with the current government that ran longer than 140 characters is surely preposterous.

Throw in a complete confusion as to the purpose and usefulness of social media, and talk about unedifying spectacles ...

It was at that point we realised we'd been captured by the commentariat commentators, and now exhibited deep signs of Stockholm syndrome.

But hang on, the schizophrenic Miranda the Devine has just at this moment perversely decided to lean the other way. Looking at the battered bruised body of the Ruddster - exemplified by the vicious, bitchy and unseemly Janet Albrechtsen effort Lonely PM is not life of the party, where hypocrisy rose to new levels of scribbling - the Devine has seemingly gone into Momma Bear mode.

Teflon and the haters of Rudd, scribbles the Devine, proving she hates the sight of blood on the carpet:

As soon as Rudd's personal popularity shield started to fall, we began to witness the unedifying spectacle of everyone piling on and kicking a man when he's down. As armchair psychologists pick apart his failings as a human being, and his own brother declares that looking inside his head is a "scary thought", you get the uncomfortable feeling it's all gone a bit too far.

Yes indeed. Oh end the hate, you haters, end it now, or we'll hate you.

When the Devine scribbles, she borrows Latin for effect:

Perhaps the best assessment of the Prime Minister this week comes from the Roman senator Tacitus, via letter writer Harry Gelber, of Hobart: ''Omnium consensu capax imperii nisi imperasset.''

Roughly, it means: everyone agrees he would have been thought capable of governing, if he had not already governed. (here).

In the usual way, it's fear that chiefly motivates the Devine, in much the same way as fear of hell seems to motivate many Catholics:

For one thing, if the amateur shrinks are correct about Rudd's "angry heart" and petty nature, and if he is returned next election, as he is still favoured to do, the rage unleashed in vengeance attacks will simply consume the government's second term.

Oh no, a rampant Chairman Rudd seeking revenge!

Phew, that's more like it. For a moment there we thought the Devine had turned:

Paradoxically, we see that the same mistake is being made by the neo Rudd-haters as was made by the Howard-haters, who in many cases are one and the same people. The more vitriolic or unreasonable the attacks, the more they work for the Prime Minister, as voters inclined not to like him pause, take stock and decide their misgivings are really not so grave that they need to join the frenzy. Distaste for the attacks soon turns to regard for the victim.

Sheesh, what on earth has the Devine been up to for the last two years? Constant attacks on the Ruddster, and now she's turned him into a hapless victim for whom she feels a strange kind of regard?

As Noel Pearson once described it, the Teflon which coated Howard for so long was made from the spit of his opponents. Rudd may soon discover similar Teflon attaching itself to his thick skin.

Oh dear, you fell for the sucker punch didn't you? Of course the Devine is only scribbling about Chairman Rudd and his Teflon thick skin as a way of extending the same kind of Teflon coating to Tony Abbott:

... in the upcoming election Teflon will be an equal opportunity protector, since the Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, has always been the most obvious beneficiary of the Howard-hater effect. In fact he inherited many of Howard's enemies who, if it is possible, have become even more unhinged in the face of Abbott's intellectual version of pragmatic social conservatism.

Pragmatic social conservatism! Would that be the same as Pell-ite Catholic conservatism?

Meanwhile, the Devine is astonished, startled, dismayed that the Labor party might do unto Tony what others have done unto Rudd:

But, as government hard man Anthony Albanese signalled on the ABC's Lateline on Tuesday night, with his blitzkrieg on Abbott as "a throwback", "a huge risk to our economy", "a huge risk to national security", "the most extreme ideological leader" the Liberal Party has ever had the misfortune of harbouring, it's clear Labor's election strategy will be to destroy Abbott personally.

Ah yes, when our local member isn't scribbling soothing letters to locals, he makes a mighty fine feral attack dog. Politics isn't just launching and test driving the fully electric Mitsubishi i-MIEV around Newtown and Camperdown every day of the week ...

But back to the Devine, as she knits or perhaps weaves or perhaps sows or stitches together a series of fine excuses for Tony Abbott, as she hunts out the traitors within and despatches them with her vorpal blade:

The line on Abbott's success, even from some within his own party, is that he is simply the beneficiary of luck and good timing, having arrived at the leadership at the precise moment that Rudd's fortunes were heading south; further, that his fundamental shortcomings are the reason he has been unable to turn Rudd's popularity to his own advantage, as if any opposition leader engaging in hand-to-hand combat with a once-popular prime minister has ever emerged unscathed.

An opposition leader who acts like a statesman and stands above the fray, enlisting henchmen to do the bruising work, may burnish his own reputation, but he doesn't shift the polls like Abbott has. People expect you to have your own skin in the game.

Skin in the game! And by golly has Abbott, who once used to be like Anthony Albanese in liberal drag, attack dog extraordinaire, managed to bruise his own skin ...

Never mind, I'm sure that the Devine will have a potent explanation of exactly why the Greens have done so well in recent polls and Abbott done so poorly:

But this reluctance to give Abbott credit for the plunge in the government's fortunes encourages potential challengers such as Joe Hockey and the failed opposition leader Malcolm Turnbull, seen by the Fraser rump of the Liberals as the last hope against conservatism in the conservative party. Their chutzpah is astonishing.

Yes! Sheer chutzpah. Sure the electorate warms to Abbott the way a rabbit stares into the eyes of a circling snake, and instead of the centre, we cruise towards the outer limits, but for the Devine, it's a simple chant.

Bring on the Pell-ites, joyful and triumphant.

But stay, what's this, over in the shadow of the arras, knife in hand? Some kind of treacherous Brutus:

Thus we have a reinvigorated Turnbull giving a speech at the weekend containing a carefully worded sideswipe at his leader, while ostensibly criticising Rudd over climate change.

''Our efforts to deal with climate change have been betrayed by a lack of leadership, a political cowardice, the likes of which I have never seen in my lifetime.'' There wouldn't have been a political junkie in the country who didn't think he was talking as much about Abbott as Rudd.

Well if the carbon cap fits, why not wear it? But wait a little more, treachery is all around. It's not just Turnbull, that darling of the eastern suburbs latte sippers, it's jolly Joe:

Equally unhelpful to his leader, the former head of Australians for a Constitutional Monarchy, was news at the weekend that Hockey has rekindled the republic debate, for no apparent reason, by beginning talks with the Australian Republican Movement. That's called wedging yourself.

Oh no, what were you thinking jolly Joe? Attempting to appeal to Republicans? Next thing you know you'll be over in Spain fighting against Franco ...

But it did remind us that with the Queen's birthday now safely behind us - well not the actual birthday but the holiday birthday - it's been a while since we dropped in on Australians for Constitutional Monarchy and Professor David Flint AM. As usual Flint is in a frenzy, determined to flush out republicans wherever he can find them, and it seems the latest lot are to be found in Victoria, as he scribbles in Victorian State Republic?

Will the Victorian government attempt to make Victoria a republic if it is returned in the State election on 27 November? And in any event, can a State do this? I have been asked these questions by supporters who have referred to a story by Paul Austin in The Age on 29 May, ” Brumby's 'class war' manifesto.”

This story was about a draft platform to be discussed at the State Labor Conference on 19 June. It opens “A re-elected Brumby government will push for Australia to become a republic, try to rewrite Victoria's constitution...”

Readers will be delighted to learn that if there is a Labor plan to make Victoria a republic by itself, it is being kept very secret. The fiends! Can't you see that's the ultimate cleverness of Brumby? Sadly, it turns out there might actually be a few constitutional issues as well.

Yep, plenty of blather from David Flint, and you can see why the Devine would urge that we forget this republican nonsense and unite behind the Constitutional Monarchists! Long may the talking tampon rule over us ...

Meanwhile, Devine's long forgotten about the human, the emotional damage done to the Ruddster, and is now ready to issue a stentorian cry for the troops to rally behind their Superman ...

With the government bleeding on so many issues, on the eve of what was always going to be a crucial two weeks in Parliament, the weekend contributions of two of the opposition's most innocent-eyed politicians were self-defeating, to say the least.

In the case of our Prime Minister and Opposition Leader, if Teflon is the protection they receive from the hatred of their enemies, then mischief by their friends is the Kryptonite that makes them vulnerable.

Ah yes, politics as a kind of comic book, Teflon Man versus Kryptonite Man. With Malcolm Turnbull as the evil genius Lex Luthor, determined to wrest power from the man who should be king.

That's more like it. Policies and issues reduced to personalities and hatred and mischief and simple minded loyalties, and never mind what actually might benefit the country.

Another day, another week in Australian politics and commentariat commentary, and we get the politicians and commentators we deserve ...

I think I'll head off to Spain to fight in the war against Franco ...

(Below: for those who came in late to the story, Kryptonite and its deadly effects when wielded by Malcolm Turnbull, and a full list of Superman's enemies, as a guide for Tony Abbott).