(Above: Wills with a blonde. Many more exciting 'Wills with a blonde' snaps here. Is Wills hanging out for a job with Fox News, where blondes are the only ones qualified to deliver fair and balanced news?)
Loon pond is in a state of shock.
Not simple shock, but shocked and awed.
Whenever Paul Sheehan gets on his grumpy pills, no one and nothing is safe. And this time it's poor old Fox News and Chairman Rupert and blondes, who receive what the English might call a right royal bollocking in Fox adds a brunette to blonde weaponry against the President.
Let's take a peek:
...Palin was hired by Roger Ailes, the president of Fox News Channel, and the brilliant media impresario who created the network. He would not be thrilled by Palin's first week at Fox. She was vacuous, saying nothing, at length...
... And Palin is a brunette. Since I first checked the blonde quota on Foxy News in 2008, it has declined modestly from 73 per cent to 66 per cent. Perhaps this is Fox News Channel's idea of becoming more ''fair and balanced'', the phrase the network uses to define itself, without irony, despite the patent and increasing absurdity of the claim.
... And Palin is a brunette. Since I first checked the blonde quota on Foxy News in 2008, it has declined modestly from 73 per cent to 66 per cent. Perhaps this is Fox News Channel's idea of becoming more ''fair and balanced'', the phrase the network uses to define itself, without irony, despite the patent and increasing absurdity of the claim.
Say no more. There's nothing here for the thrill seeking members of loon pond. Slagging off Fox News used to be grist to the mill, but what to do now Sheehan's joined the club?
Luckily the British monarchy has decided to keep the mad father at home, and decided to send out the comely young Prince William to the colonies, and that's a sure way to get the twits atwittering.
Already there's excellent news that a Channel Nine reporter decided that the dozen people who turned up to see Prince William fly into Auckland needed perking up:
When she couldn't, the reporter says she was told by the studio in Sydney to "make some up herself".
The Channel Nine reporter wrote signs in pen saying "I love William" and gave them to a small group of women.
The reporter then did a live cross in front of the signs but did not mention they were her own creation.
The reporter told the ABC it was a "light hearted running joke on breakfast television" and the signs will not be on the news tonight. (here)
Never mind, here's a deep and moving story involving William's long term girlfriend - Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton takes on paparazzi over tennis shots. And to the shock, horror and consternation of the Murdoch press, it seems Prince William was only allowed to travel business class to Sydney. (here). Reminds me of another prince:
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death ...
Never mind. Naturally Ross Cameron is at the airport of his mind holding up his scribbled sign for Prince William and the planet to read: Princely magnetism could swing views on monarchy.
Yep, forget Chuck, the bonnie Prince Charlie who wanted to be a talking tampon, wheel out young Willy and all will be well.
Amongst the bon mots delivered by Cameron in a homily about English history for the English, which is as bizarre as it is irrelevant:
Indeed. Think those thirteen vexatious states rejecting King George 111 in 1776! And still the teabaggers dance in the street! And now the dictatorship, by that Kenyan Islamic without a birth certificate, has come to pass. Oh such a wise and historically hysterical Ross!
I keed, I keed, I've been watching Fox news and entertainment. Another bon mot:
But should a proud, independent nation such as Australia invest political capital in a "foreign" family? Britain is not just any foreign nation. Australia is enriched by people and ideas from everywhere but our history, language, law, media, government, sport and culture carry the echo of our origins. You can't love Australia without loving the rock from which we were hewn.
Yep, when asked in 2006 by the Australian Census "what is the person's ancestry", 37.13% plunked for Australian, 31.65% plinked for English and the rest - well over two thirds plonked for a whole range of foreign alphabet soups, from recalcitrant Celts through to Sinhalese (here).
Well we know what to say to that substantial majority. Love the rock from which you weren't hewn, or bugger off.
Australia has grown from childlike devotion through the 1950s to teen angst and rebellion in the republican flirtation, to a relaxed and mature adulthood at the dawning of this century. We can retain our vestigial link to Britain in the same way we feel no diminution in identity by retaining our parent's surname. It is a mark of respect, affection and continuity.
Except for those bloody feminists who insist on retaining their parent's surname rather than adopting their husband's, as if to suggest that somehow they haven't now joined the patriarchy and shouldn't act as a carpet for their new partner. Is retaining their own name while offering up their vows a sign respect, affection and continuity? Harumph.
Perhaps the strongest impulse to retain the present arrangements will come not from any theoretical considerations but from the understated magnetism and affability of the young prince. William seems to have inherited many of the qualities that made his mother the most universally loved person of the late 20th century. I for one am happy to extend a warm welcome to a young man who is both a friend to and an asset of Australia.
Sssh, not a word about bonnie Prince Charlie. We all know he has the understated magnetism and affability of a mad environmentalist, sure to send antipodean climate change deniers and Senator Steve Fielding into a state of apoplexy. Why Tim Blair might have a seizure and never recover.
And while we're talking of people holding up placards for bonnie Prince Willy, never forget David Flint, beavering away in The Prince William effect: republican celebrity converts.
Flinty is wildly excited because he can report that Ms. Ita Clare Buttrose AO OBE has jumped to the dark side, and is now a monarchist! Well this is grand news, and an astonishing reversal. As Flinty sagely notes:
Ms Buttrose was the founding editor of Cleo which, with its nude male centrefolds, was aimed at young single women.
By golly, and now the monarchists have Prince Willy, who can surely be aimed at young single women, especially blondes, who dream of meeting royalty in a bar and being whisked off to become Princess Mary or even Queen of all those Hamlets in the north (Princess Mary may soon be Queen of Denmark).
But don't think Flinty is just into idle boasting and gloating about scoring the scalp of Buttrose. He takes fervent aim at treasonous chatter which really should see the wretches spend a little time spent locked up in the Tower of London:
Ms. Le Marquand’s republican piece “Time to talk republic long overdue” was prominently published in Sydney’s Daily Telegraph (16/1) just on the eve of Prince William’s visit.
Does having "le" in your name make you aristocratic? Or sounding a little cheese eating surrender monkey by having Marquand as your moniker? When I looked up top occupations for Marquand in the UK for 1881, 9% were agricultural labourers (3% for the general public), while a commendable 3% were compositors and 3% boot binders. Carpenters and gardeners each scored a further 6%, way ahead of the general public in these jobs. Perhaps it's just an inability to spell Sarrah in conventional ways that hints at a royalty stretching back to the biblical Sarai?
Whatever, Flinty is keen to assure the aristocratic sounding Marquand that the Windsor family life style is "pretty abstemious" and pays for itself, and frankly does enormous good work for Australian tourism, unlike the Australian tourist industry, which is run by hopeless, hapless Australians.
Let's face it - there's not a single person who'd want to go to New Zealand, until bonnie Prince Willy turned up and proved it was safe, and perhaps even interesting:
What is the betting Prince William’s visit will be more effective in bringing in tourists than say, the “Where the bloody hell are you?” campaign.
Indeed. Now how about a "Where the bloody hell are you?" campaign to bring bonnie Prince Chuck to the antipodes. I'd love to see him having a debate with the climate change deniers ...
(Below: sssh, as well as prince Chuck, don't mention the Nazis in the family).
No comments:
Post a Comment
Comments older than two days are moderated and there will be a delay in publishing them.