Sunday, December 08, 2013

The war on Christmas hots up, or how to cynically turn fear and loathing into TV ratings ...


So the question arising is, who has got something against wishing someone a happy holyday?

Do they have something against holy days?

Yes the war on Xmas keeps hotting up, but only the truly dumb bunnies seem completely unaware that holiday comes from the Old English hāligdæg 'holy day', here, and it's therefore about as pious as you can get.

Don't give the pond some nonsense about changing meanings, it's as clear as the nose on a Viking's face.

As for wishing a Merry Christmas, the naked sensual pagan and hedonistic meaning should be clear to all:

Make merry: enjoy oneself with others by dancing and drinking: 
back at the hotel, he’s urging on his supporters to make merry 
Informal slightly and good-humouredly drunk: 
after the third beer he began to feel quite merry (here)

Oh sure, there are other, slightly different meanings, but what the pond is hearing is you won't wish it a Happy Holy Day because of some weird fixation about liberals, but you will invite the pond to get on the piss, and turn into a good humoured drunk.

Meanwhile, many equally confused souls stalk the land in a state of agitation about the use of Happy Xmas.

In the old days there might have been some sort of Xcuse, but these days you can do a Greg Hunt, and head off to the word's very own wiki, here.

Never mind the symbolic connection, which you should know about if you were inducted into mindless indoctrination camps in the mainstream Catholic and related religions:



Instead Xmas brings out stupid people with too much time on their hands to be stupid:

Among them are evangelist Franklin Graham and CNN journalist Roland S. Martin. 
Graham stated in an interview: "for us as Christians, this is one of the most holy of the holidays, the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. And for people to take Christ out of Christmas. They're happy to say merry Xmas. Let's just take Jesus out. And really, I think, a war against the name of Jesus Christ.

Of course the pond plays up to this delusion. It turns out that you can offend some Xians in the most pleasing way by wishing them a happy holyday, and a 'symbol of Christ' Mas, and yet when you urge them to get on the piss and have a right old merry time they think nothing of it.

Is there something even dumber about Texas than even the pond failed to understand? Texas Passes 'Merry Christmas Bill' To Fight War on Christmas ... They want you to get pissed by law in Texas?


Meanwhile, the alarmingly thick Faux Noise is up to its usual noise-making nonsense this Xmas.

This time it's with a bizarre interactive page which you can find here, but which the pond so loves, we've taken a snap of:


Stop right there, what are all those figures doing at the top of the page? What did your lord god demand of thee?

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

Exodus 20:4! You're all going to hell, and the quicker the better, you filthy, vile sinners, you abject heretics and spreaders of tosh ...

Naturally, when you say Fox, you inevitably also mean to say inciting to rage fuck up, of the kind you can read about in Georgia School 'Terrorized' After Fox News False 'Christmas' report.

These are the new Taliban and sadly just as dumb.

The school received so many complaints that the district was forced to release an official statement after Starnes' report on Tuesday. 
 "Unfortunately, today the school was terrorized by an intentional and vicious dissemination of untrue information that disrupted the good work going on inside," the statement pointed out. "Fox News Radio Commentary Host Todd Starnes, acting on misinformation that neither he, nor his media outlet corroborated with the school system or Baker, misreported a story about student Christmas Cards being removed from the school. Baker did not receive any questions from the local community either."

Meanwhile, perhaps the height of unassailable and offensive stupidity has been climbed by an advertisement so kitsch that Susan Sontag would probably allow it into the halls of camp. 

You can read about it here, and if you like follow the link to a YouTube version, but the pond refuses to encourage loons by linking to them:

“We are one nation under God. No man owns Amy’s happiness, and no man will define how she shows it.”

Sound feminist to you? No man ...? No need to mention woman because she's just a spare rib hanging about? Or  is it just fucked in the head attention-seeking, so out there it becomes squirrel of the day?

Naturally Bill Orally has been front and centre, but then Orally thinks he has a direct line to god - they lock some people up for this, in much the same way as you do with people who take their Napoleon complex too seriously. You can waste valuable minutes of your life watching David Silverman and Orally go at it last year, YouTube link available here.

This year Orally went into psychoanalytic mode, as you can read in O'Reilly Psychoanalyzes Atheists: So Much 'Anger,' 'Are They That Bigger Against Religion?'

And so on. The pond hardly dares mention that the extremely dumb Sarah Palin has a book out to exploit the season, in the very best sordid commercial and exploitative way imaginable, but there, it's done:

Palin zeroes in on the real meaning of Christmas. It’s not about Black Friday sales on flat screen TVs and tablet PCs. It’s about pointing out how Americans who have discovered Jesus are better than everybody else. As Palin soothingly explains, the real crisis threatening Christmas in America is all those atheists trying to return Christmas to its origins as a pagan festival celebrating the winter solstice during which Democrats would get drunk and fornicate with goats. Why do they hate baby Jesus so much? For God’s sake, he’s just a baby. (here)

And so we can move on.

So is there any hope in this troubled time? Any sign of sanity?

Some might take seriously evangelicals out and about claiming that the 'War on Christmas' rings hollow for some.

The pond will have none of that mealy mouthed do gooder nonsense. The long absent lord knows, the Xmas season is hard enough without some genuine comedy, and what would Jon Stewart do if he couldn't declare war on the loons who declare war on the war on Xmas?

Now, if you haven't spoofed Comedy Central so that you can mainline Stewart without paying Foxtel exorbitant amounts of money, you can see Stewart ridiculing Fox here.

If for no other reason, we need the annual war on Xmas, so we can get Stewart having fun about wondering what it's like to live in a a world saturated in pure, distilled essence of fear and despair...

Sure enough Stewart pings Orally blathering on about holidays. 

Because Orally is so thick, so dumb, he doesn't realise everybody is wishing everybody a happy holy day ... or as Stewart notes, he doesn't seem to have the first clue about Santa Clause and Sinterklaas (or come to think of it, the original seasonal Roman festivities), while Sarah Palin is awesome explaining how the commercialisation of Christmas is spreading cheer and presumably by extension Christ's message ...

Stewart concludes with a joke about the Pope waging war on Xmas, but of course, these days the conservatives have taken to waging a war on the Pope, as you can see in Jon Stewart to Stuart Varney: You're Telling the Pope How to Do His Job?

Only, thank the long absent lord, in America ...













2 comments:

  1. I've taken to telling anyone who objects to people wishing them happiness on their holidays to have a shitty Christmas, because they are obviously a complete misery guts and deserve it!

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    Replies
    1. Right on Glen h, if an expression of good will is used as an ideological or theological club, then to hell with the good will. In the United States, it's a handy work around so as not to offend Jews or sundry others who get offended by Xian claptrap, but it's still a well meaning wish, and if you want to see it as a personal attack, part of a general war, how crazy is that.

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