In which the pond very reluctantly has to go with Stewie and the bromancer ... (*movie title rights patented) ...

 

The pond has many regrets.

Some of them are minor, but they're still regrets. 

The pond regrets for example that it hadn't seen John Oliver's evisceration of Bari Weiss, sending up her "I'm just a gay girl contrarian" routine and sampling three stories under her imprimatur that were littered with errors. 

The pond also regrets that HBO keeps a tight rein on Oliver in terms of availability.

It would have been a perfect rejoinder to Major Mitchell's idle worship in yesterday's lizard Oz. As it is, all the pond can do is remind correspondents of the Major's effort ...

Paramount acquires The Free Press in $240m deal, Weiss joins CBS,The trajectory of former New York Times writer Bari Weiss, who has transformed her four-year-old digital start-up into a $240m media powerhouse, shows up ABC and other broadcasters’ failures on Covid, Russiagate and the Biden laptop...(archive link) 

...and note that there's now plenty of digital ink dedicated to Oliver's work, too many to link too, but easily Duck Goed up ... though the video examples are always region limited...

(The pond is so over the AI at the top of Google searches)

Not that Oliver's outing would have made any difference to the Major, routinely obtuse and sometimes as thick as the average brick, but would have made that Major read more fun for anyone who went the full galah with him.

Moving along, this day The Daily Zionist News had just two bees buzzing around in the old noggin (hive mind if you will) early in the morning ... the middle east and super.

The pond confesses to being well over the ethnic cleansing, while also boasting a singular lack of interest in the super obsession. 

The pond will only chip in if there's a decent dinkum groaning from Dame Groan, instead of the try hards that littered the top of the digital news. Reptiles, release the kraken... Groan the Tweak ...

The pond did treasure one moment in the middle east coverage, the thumb image accompanying Stewie's piece...

Was the visual reference deliberate? Did the reptiles realise it was a Godwin's Law moment?

The pond half-expected a rotating globe in gif format, and for once would have tipped the hat to the remnants of the lizard Oz graphics department.

But when the pond plunged in, a full version of the image was nowhere to be found. Yet another epic fail ...

Instead there was just Stewie in worry warts mode, though only for a modest 3 minutes...

The header: Israeli hostages release: Moment to remember, now for piece of history, Following the triumphant return of the hostages, can Donald Trump’s peace plan now lead to a lasting peace?

The caption for the disappointing lead snap, sans twirling globe: Donald Trump speaks with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu at the Israeli parliament, the Knesset.

Stewie was in the grip of history, while haunted by saucy doubts and fears...

There are moments in history that are remembered across generations and the release of the last Israeli hostages from the hell of Hamas into the arms of their families will be one of them.
The moment, watched by all of Israel and by much of the world, was a much needed reaffirmation of life after two terrible years of death on all sides in a war that has divided the globe.
The return of the 20 surviving Israeli hostages, many feared to be seriously weakened after being held in unthinkably brutal conditions by Hamas terrorists, will do much to restore Israel’s soul after it was ripped apart by the October 7 massacre two years ago.
Israeli leader Benjamin Netanyahu called on Israelis to put aside their differences for a day to embrace the hostages, but he didn’t need to because a jubilant Israel opened its arms as one to welcome home its sons who many feared would never come home.
The sad return of the remains of some of the 28 hostages who did not survive the war was also a poignant reminder of the brutality of this conflict. It is a miracle that any of the living hostages managed to survive.

Any thought to mention the c. 70k of dead Palestinians, or those who survived, either suffering from malnutrition or terrible wounds, or both, and grimly short of shelter and ways to survive.

Nah, cue another snap, United States President Donald Trump addresses the Israeli Knesset on the return of Israeli hostages labelling it a “historic dawn of a new Middle East”.

Then came the saucy doubts and fears ...

Donald Trump, who fully deserved his victory lap in the Israeli parliament on Monday for brokering the peace deal that allowed the hostage deal, has declared that this two-year war is now over.
Once the emotion and celebrations over the returning hostages have subsided, this will be the critical question for the Middle East: can the US President’s peace plan produce a lasting peace, rather than just another temporary ceasefire?
The coming days will provide a critical early test of whether the Trump plan can move past the hostage deal and into its more difficult second phase.
With the hostages now released, Trump will co-chair a peace summit in Egypt attended by a raft of leaders from Europe and the Arab world. The attendance of so many leaders at the summit will only add to the gravitas of the peace plan as it seeks to achieve two quick outcomes: establishment of an interim governing authority in Gaza and disarmament of Hamas.
But there remains great uncertainty about how Hamas will respond to these two demands. The group has been vague about its intentions, perhaps partly reflecting disagreements among its much-weakened leadership after two years of war.
Hamas has always refused the demand that it surrender its weapons so the Egypt conference is likely to explore a middle-ground position, possibly including a “decommissioning” or a handover of Hamas’s remaining larger weapons to a neutral third party.
But how this could be achieved quickly is unclear, and what happens to the numerous small arms with which Hamas has fought this war?
Ominously, Hamas operatives have fanned out across Gaza in recent days to fight anti-Hamas ­militia, raising the spectre of ­internal intra-Palestinian violence inside Gaza, which would make all groups reluctant to surrender their weapons.

Any thought to mention what Benji might do, in his ongoing desire to stay out of the clink, or what the barking mad fundamentalists who've kept him in power might do?

Nah, lump it all on Hamas, and never mind how much Benji enabled that group, or how he recently empowered other groups with arms to conduct a civil war with Hamas. 

Instead cue another snap ...President Donald Trump is in Israel where he received a standing ovation and was greeted by a sea of red hats at the Knesset – following the historic cease-fire and release of hostages.

Stewie finished up with the notion that life wasn't meant to be easy, the sort of analysis that can be found in many Xmas crackers...

When it comes to the establishment of an interim government in Gaza, the question is whether Hamas will seek to play a part in it. The peace plan stipulates that Hamas must not be part of any interim authority, and although the group has pledged to give up political power in Gaza, it maintains that it should play a role in the broader creation of a future Palestinian state.
Right now in Gaza, there is a power vacuum that will need to be filled quickly by an interim authority. With Israel withdrawing from half of Gaza, conditions are ripe for Hamas to continue to play a role in the enclave contrary to the aim of the peace plan.
As such, the summit in Egypt will be under pressure to set up a viable interim authority as quickly as possible along with a timetable for its arrival and clear rules of conduct and engagement.
None of this is easy and if Hamas stonewalls either the demands for its disarmament or refuses to accept an interim government to replace it in Gaza, then all bets are off.
Trump has invested much in this peace plan and he has already shown he is willing to throw his weight around with both Hamas and Israel to secure its success.
Having achieved the miraculous with the release of the hostages, there is no reason to believe that the US President will not also succeed in strongarming Hamas to accept the next stage of his peace plan.
But it won’t be easy.

Strangely Stewie's piece was top of the page ma, and the bromancer was demoted, though still top of the extreme far right ma...

There wasn't much else to savour in that bask of reptiles, or should that be a lounge of lizards ...

Anyone wanting to have a super time could share a tin of tuna with snappy Tom, especially as the reptiles clocked it as a mere 3 minute read ...(apologies in advance for fragile archive links)

Naked revenue grab comes back to bite Chalmers
The raid on high superannuation balances had two immense design flaws. The taxing of unrealised gains is not widely accepted in the investment sphere, and not indexing the $3m threshold gave the game away.
By Tom Dusevic
Policy Editor

There was also the canny Cranston, who has been taking up an unseemly amount of space of late ...

Doctor takes his medicine after belated backdown
The unrealised capital gains tax he stubbornly tried to introduce never had consensus. Think of the Labor luminaries that were against it, from Paul Keating to Mike Fitzpatrick.
By Matthew Cranston
Economics Correspondent

No Dame Groan substitutes allowed! Where's the real deal, the dinkum dame?

While waiting her appearance, the pond was happy to settle for an immortal Rowe ...

The pond also resisted a stodgy outing by Hodge ...

Prabowo treads fine line with Gaza summit, Israel visit

The Indonesian President’s attendance at Egypt’s Gaza peace talks and rumoured Israel visit mark Indonesia’s boldest step yet onto the world stage, despite potential backlash at home.
By Amanda Hodge
South East Asia Correspondent

In the Lord of the Flies way preferred by the pond that just left the bromancer standing ... and though it was just more time deep in the bowels of The Daily Zionist News, duty had to be done ...

The header, which naturally didn't say Palestinians pay a high price, instead read Israel pays a high price for hostage release, Although this return of host­ages is wonderful news, it carries huge costs. The release of hundreds of Palestinians, some guilty of appalling murders, incentivises future terrorists.

The caption for the snap maintained the air of fear and loathing, though a tad out of date: Freed Palestinian prisoners in Ramallah, West Bank, in late 2023 after Hamas freed 16 Israeli and foreign hostages from Gaza. Picture: Spencer Platt/Getty Images

The bromancer plunged right in ...

It is a great thing to see Israel’s hostages return after two years in captivity by Hamas in Gaza. These innocent people have been subject to physical and mental torture mercifully beyond the comprehension of most people.
Hamas is murderously cruel, not only to Jews and Israelis but also to any Palestinian it thinks defies its authority. Those it deems guilty of disobedience but decides not to kill, it shoots in the leg.
One of the fatuous elements of the Albanese government, which thinks that by saying it supports a two-state solution it therefore should recognise a Palestinian state, is the absolute failure to come to grips with the inability of Palestinian politics to provide a credible partner for peace.
Although this return of host­ages is wonderful news, it carries huge costs. Israel will release hundreds of Palestinians guilty of appalling murders, as well as hundreds of lower-level activists.
Unavoidably, this incentivises future terrorists to think that even if they murder Israelis, are captured, tried and sentenced to life, they can be freed by future hostage negotiations.
A tragic lesson out of the Gaza war is that all democracies are subject to hostage blackmail. Aggressive states such as China, Russia and Iran have taken hostages, normally in very small numbers, typically an unfortunate Westerner visiting at the wrong time. They gain extra leverage with the democratic government of the citizens involved. The authoritarian states suffer reputational loss but that’s a cost they willingly pay.
The leader of the October 7 atrocities, Yahya Sinwar, was released by Israel, along with more than a thousand others, in exchange for one Israeli soldier, Gilad Shalit, in 2011. Sinwar spent 22 years in Israeli jails as part of concurrent life sentences for organising a series of murders.

And as already noted many times, what of the recalcitrance of Benji, keen to avoid the clink, and his barking mad fundamentalist collaborators, keen to send Palestinians wandering abroad, as if to reenact Exodus, though with much longer than 40 years of wilderness wandering in mind?

Never mind, the pond has wondered about this for some time, and never found any illumination in reptile ruminations, so cue another snap, People hold placards and wave flags in late 2024 in Tel Aviv, calling for action to secure the release of Israeli hostages held captive since the October 7 attacks. Picture Jack Guez/AFP

Why does the pond ever expect anything different? 

It's The Daily Zionist News, and to expect the reptiles to change their spots is to relive that ancient Simpsons joke about Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes ...

The effectiveness of hostage operations is a lesson everyone, good actors and bad, will take from the Gaza war. Democracies are particularly vulnerable because their governments value the lives of their citizens. Israel, given the long history of persecution of Jewish minorities, is devoted to never leaving one of its own behind.
The other question is what now to make of the two-state solution. As this column has previously pointed out, Palestinians have been offered a state four times on terms that were vastly more generous than anything that could be imagined in the next 50 years. Palestinians and surrounding Arabs rejected the initial partition of the land that would have created a much smaller Israel than today.

Um, it would actually have created a much smaller Palestine, hemmed in and hamstrung, but please do include an AV distraction showing a disinterested observer without a hint of partisan bias, Australia/Israel and Jewish Affairs Council Joel Burnie discusses what Hamas gets in exchange for releasing the Israeli hostages. “It also includes the release of close to 2,000 Palestinian prisoners back into Gaza and other areas, with at least 250 serving life sentences,” Mr Burnie told Sky News host Danica De Giorgio. “The cost to Israel … to get their loved ones back is going to be immense.”

In a singular way, the bromancer failed to note the way that Benji and his ratbag fundamentalist companions fought valiantly against any two state solution, reaping the benefits of a spectacular assassination ...

The assassination of Israeli prime minister Yitzhak Rabin came immediately after an anti-violence rally in support of the Oslo peace process.
Before the rally, Rabin was disparaged personally by right-wing conservatives and Likud leaders who perceived the peace process as an attempt to forfeit the occupied territories and a capitulation to Israel's enemies.
National religious conservatives and Likud party leaders believed that withdrawing from any "Jewish" land was heresy. The Likud leader and future prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, accused Rabin's government of being "removed from Jewish tradition [...] and Jewish values". Right-wing rabbis associated with the settlers' movement prohibited territorial concessions to the Palestinians and forbade soldiers in the Israel Defense Forces from evacuating Jewish settlers under the accords. Some rabbis proclaimed din rodef, based on a traditional Jewish law of self-defense, against Rabin personally, arguing that the Oslo Accords would endanger Jewish lives.

Exit Rabin, cue the triumphs of Benji (not the dog movie star).

The bromancer doesn't care to discuss any of that, and so he decided to hare off on a sidetrack of spectacular irrelevance ...

The surrounding Arab states tried to annihilate Israel at birth. Under the Oslo Accords in the 1990s a Palestinian state was agreed by Israel on almost all the West Bank, with compensating land from Israel proper, the whole of Gaza and a capital in East Jerusalem. A new version of that was later offered by Ehud Olmert in his prime ministership in the first decade of this century.
Each time the Palestinian leadership ran away. The Palestinian leader who accepted a state that recognised Israel and ended all other claims on all other Israeli territory, and actually committed to ending Palestinian terrorism, would be assassinated by the countless extremists in his camp.

That side track? Michael Collins, the Irish republican leader. Picture: supplied

Off the bromancer went, into his comfort zone ...

Something remarkably similar happened when the Irish Free State was established in 1922 by Michael Collins. The more extreme Irish nationalist faction, led by Eamon de Valera, wouldn’t accept the compromise even though it gave Ireland its own state after hundreds of years of British rule.
The Free State was not a republic, didn’t get the whole island of Ireland, was compelled to assert pro forma loyalty to the British crown and didn’t have control of its own ports, a measure designed to make sure it didn’t become a military threat to Britain.
Collins had to wage a civil war against de Valera’s forces to establish that the Irish nationalists would keep to their agreements and end hostilities against Britain.
The Irish moderates won the bitter, bloody civil war. Ireland established itself as a law-abiding and peaceful country. And it got all the remaining powers of a sovereign nation in 1937. But Collins, the father of the Irish state, was killed in the civil war in 1922.

Um actually the Irish got some 30 years of The Troubles ... but do go on ...

There is no Palestinian Michael Collins. But as Bill Clinton has observed, rejecting a good deal has horrible consequences for the Palestinian national movement. You can’t expect Israel to offer the kind of deal envisaged in the Oslo Accords to a Palestinian polity that produces Hamas. The Palestinian leadership, not just Hamas, has gone out of its way to invent conditions that make any agreement impossible.

Um, perhaps put it another way? The current Israeli government, not just Benji, has gone out of its way to invent conditions that make any agreement impossible.

Including, but not limited to, rapid settler expansion in the West Bank, and a refusal to allow any sharing in Jerusalem.

At that point, the reptiles introduced a total killer of any notion of success, Former British prime minister Tony Blair has met Palestinian Authority Deputy President Hussein al-Sheikh in Jordan. The pair discussed the impending release of hostages and prisoners, as well as efforts to start reconstruction in Gaza. The PA Deputy President released a statement, saying it is ready to work with US President Donald Trump and Mr Blair to establish lasting peace in the region. The former UK leader will be attending the Gaza peace summit in Egypt.

Doomed...if Tony Bleagh is given the chance to do to Palestinians what he helped do to Iraquis, then we're back with the East India company's treatment of Indians ...

Back to the still blathering bromancer ...

It insists, for example, on the “right of return” of anybody who has any blood connection at all to any Arab who ever lived in Israel, Gaza or the West Bank. These are now people three and four generations away from Israel and number in their millions.

Um, speaking of millions, Law of Return ...

The Law of Return (Hebrew: חוק השבות, ḥok ha-shvūt) is an Israeli law, passed on 5 July 1950, which gives Jews, people with one or more Jewish grandparent, and their spouses the right to relocate to Israel and acquire Israeli citizenship. Section 1 of the Law of Return declares that "every Jew has the right to come to this country as an oleh [immigrant]". In the Law of Return, the State of Israel gave effect to the Zionist movement's aim for the establishment of Israel as a Jewish state. In 1970, the right of entry and settlement was extended to people with at least one Jewish grandparent and a person who is married to a Jew, whether or not they are considered Jewish under Orthodox interpretations of Jewish law.
On the day of arrival in Israel, or occasionally at a later date, a person who enters Israel under the Law of Return as an oleh would receive a certificate confirming their oleh status. The person then has three months to decide whether they wish to become a citizen and can renounce their prior citizenship during this time. Since 2005, the right does not apply to residents of the West Bank or the Gaza Strip due to the Citizenship and Entry into Israel Law. The right to an oleh certificate may be denied if the person is engaged in antisemitic activity, is a hazard to the public health or security of the state, or has a criminal past that may endanger public welfare.

Where to put them all?

Well the West Bank looks pretty tasty, and so does that new Rivera in Gaza, with bonus sea views, but do go on ...

The right of return is meant to be not to a new Palestinian state but to Israel itself. Senior Palestinians in the past have told me they know this is completely unrealistic. It’s kept there only as an excuse for not negotiating seriously.
As a result of the failure of all the previous offers, the phrase “the two-state solution” is for the moment utterly discredited in Israel. But in the very long run, Israel is caught in a contradictory trilemma. It cannot be Jewish, democratic and have sovereignty over all the land including the West Bank and Gaza.

Cue another snap ...Israeli military armoured vehicles take position at the Ofer military prison located between Ramallah and Beitunia in the occupied West Bank on Monday ahead of the release of Palestinian prisoners in exchange for hostages held by Hamas. Pictutre: Hazem Bader / AFP

And so at last to the bromancer's anxiety about the need to keep the theocracy pure ...

Israel has a population of ten million. Roughly 20 per cent are Arab. In the West Bank and Gaza there are perhaps five million Palestinians. In a unitary state the number of Jewish Israelis and Muslim Arabs would be comparable. If Israel holds as its in-principle end point the notion that these people must be forever ruled by Israel but can never have citizenship, then Israel ceases to be a democracy. If they can have citizenship it ceases to be a predominantly Jewish state.
However, most Israelis remain committed to democracy, notwithstanding everything. Having in the face of terrorism, rejectionism and Islamist anti-Semitism supported a two-state solution for decades, their preferred outcome now is a long period of normalisation with developing Palestinian self-government in the Palestinian territories, provided these territories pose no security threat to Israel.
This is perfectly reasonable as a temporary arrangement, even if the temporary arrangement goes on for years. It can graduate from there to full Palestinian statehood only after a Palestinian leadership demonstrates full internal security control, full rejection of terrorism and full acceptance of Israel, meaning a permanent end to all claims against Israel once a Palestinian state comes into existence.
The fatuous way the Albanese government talks of the two-state solution, as if you could implement it tomorrow except for Israeli unreasonableness, is ridiculous and indicates the absolute lack of seriousness in our government. It’s a good thing Washington pays no attention to Canberra at all on these matters.

Stuffed, comprehensively stuffed ...and the pond was reminded yet again of the futility of reading the bromancer, on anything pretty much, and on this matter in particular.

It's a good thing correspondents pay no attention to the bromancer at all on these matters. 

And so another day without any mention of King Donald's most excellent form of authoritarianism at home, while domestic tiffs about gambling are best left to Wilcox ...