The pond had wanted to slip in a Medhi Hassan zinger before it got too stale ...
“In fact, two of his three wives were immigrants, proving yet again that immigrants will do the jobs that even Americans are not willing to do.” The crowd erupted in laughter at Hasan’s zinger. (Beast in archive)
But there had to be more to justify the line, and so there had to be a reptile offering.
The pond is trying to shake the late arvo reptile addiction, but there were just too many reptiles clamouring for attention this Monday, and so the pond simply had to make room for simplistic Simon, blessed with one of most stupendously awful examples of the decline of the reptile graphics department in recent times (and that's saying something) ...
The header: What can an AI Maggie Thatcher teach our ailing Libs?, A Menzies bot offering guidance mightn’t be so strange amid desperate days for the Coalition, but in that absence, advice from the Tories’ Silicon Lady nails it.
The caption: The Silicon Lady began with a blistering assessment of the Coalition’s lack of economic policy. Picture: Capx.co
Now the reptiles are getting their visual ideas from CapX?
Have they no sense of shame, is there no end to their air of desperation?
But that was nothing up against simpleton Simon's offering ...
At the Conservative Party’s annual conference two weeks ago, guests were invited to ask a Margaret Thatcher chatbot what she thought of the party today. Plumbing new depths of desperation in a quest for relevance, the Tories’ homage to the Iron Lady, who would’ve been celebrating her 100th birthday if she were alive, was more like a wake.
But a wake for who?
“Her power suits are displayed in glass cabinets by the entrance, mugs in the gift shop read, ‘Milk before tea? No, no, no’, and a giant mosaic of her face, composed of Polaroids greets delegates as they enter the exhibition hall,” The Times reported.
Nostrada Ai, which developed the Thatcher bot, dubbed the Silicon Lady, initially wanted to create an educational tool for schools so students could learn about her. Unsurprisingly, journalists took the occasion to conduct their own interviews with AI Maggie.
Considering some of the brutal things AI Maggie had to say about what had happened to the party she once led, organisers might want to consider a refund.
For no particular reason, the reptiles interrupted with a snap of Tamworth's shame, its eternal humiliation, the reason it stopped being the centre of the known universe, Barnaby Joyce considers jumping into bed with One Nation. Picture: Jonathan Ng
They actually said "jumping into bed"?
The pond immediately regretted having wasted that immortal Rowe earlier in the day.
It was the perfect "jumping into bed" fit, with a bit of the morning after ...
But Barners' bed-jumping suddenly looked respectable up against simplistic Simon hacking away with AI ...
As Menzies does for the Liberal Party, Thatcher looms large over the UK Conservatives as they struggle to find a unifying principle that can halt the erosion of their conservative base, with polls suggesting Nigel Farage’s MAGA-style Reform UK party could win the next election.
Whether it can turn polls into actual votes remains to be seen.
Parties of protest tend to over-perform in polls and underperform in elections. But not always.
Barnaby Joyce is clearly looking at the potential to convert Pauline Hanson’s record high support in the polls – now almost double what she recorded at the election – as he considers jumping into bed with One Nation.
Considering the rolling disaster the Coalition is in, what might an AI Sir Robert Menzies proffer to miserable Liberals in Australia, who last week thought the party’s 81st birthday was something to celebrate?
Will the reptiles in the lizard Oz hive mind ever escape their desire to live with Ming the Merciless in the 1950s?
Apparently not, you guessed it, as simplistic Simon pretended to rail against backward, retrograde nostalgia, the reptiles knew what would work for their 80+ demographic, Many Liberal MPs have been quoting Menzies lately as they search for answers.
Such is the level of cult worship that simpleton Simon simply couldn't imagine an AI Ming ...
All that could be found was idle speculation, AI guesstimates ...
In fact, a lot of Liberal MPs have been quoting Menzies lately as they search for the answer to the opposition’s problems. That the squabbling has returned again to whether Menzies would today be considered conservative or moderate says it all.
Considering a Menzies chatbot doesn’t yet exist, as far as we know, this column decided to ask AI Maggie for her opinion on what Australians on the centre-right might do.
Oh FFS, what a useless loon he is. You don't need a physical bot presence to get the AI good oil.
As if anybody couldn't simply ask AI "what would Bob Menzies tell the current Liberal party?" and get the sort of mealy-mouthed nonsense being celebrated by simpleton Simon ...
This is what passes as journalism these days in the lizard Oz?
It is, it is, as simpleton Simon painfully rorted The Times ... but apparently the budget couldn't stretch to the snaps ...
At least Simpleton Simon is staying true to Herbert when it comes to borrowings ...
On and on went the pilfering, neigh, pillaging...
AI Maggie began with a blistering assessment of the Coalition’s lack of economic policy – timely considering Sussan Ley on Monday night will deliver a speech in which she promises to unveil the Liberal Party’s alternative economic plan.
“The (Liberal) party’s lack of a serious and credible economic program is alarming,” AI Maggie says. “When members themselves state they had ‘nothing to sell to their communities’, it is a damning admission.
“I always believed an economy must be built not through state intervention but through enterprise and thrift. No successful centre-right party can afford to equivocate on this.”
Poor Susssan, offered bot advice by a prize bot maroon, On Monday night, Sussan Ley will deliver a speech in which she in which she promises to unveil the Liberal Party’s alternative economic plan. Picture: Mick Tsikas/AAP
It's safe to say that AI is now the first refuge of scoundrels, the lizard Oz's graphics department, and simplistic Simon ...
“The first duty now is to re-establish a firm ideological foundation – one rooted in liberty, free enterprise, the dignity of personal responsibility and the defence of national sovereignty.
“A divided party is a defeated party. The breakdown of the longstanding alliance with the Nationals speaks to a dangerous lack of cohesion. Unity must be restored, not through compromise for its own sake, but through strong leadership and a compelling vision that all wings of the party can rally behind. Compromise without direction leads not to consensus, but to confusion.
“The cost of living cannot be addressed by ever-expanding state control or ill-considered public spending. If the Liberal Party wishes to be relevant again, it must offer a credible alternative: policies that create wealth rather than redistribute it, that reduce the burden on families and enterprises, and that champion the rights and responsibilities of the individual over the creeping influence of the state.
“Urban Australia presents a particular challenge. The Liberal Party must not pander to fashionable opinion, but it must listen. Voters in cities demand integrity, competence, and a sense that their concerns – be they economic, cultural, or environmental – are being taken seriously. The answer is not to abandon principle, but to apply it with imagination and moral clarity.
“Time and again I reminded my party, and the country, that politics is not an exercise in managerial administration – it is about ideas. Speak clearly, boldly and often. Tell the people what you believe, and why. Restore faith through determination and intellect.
“In summary: yes, the Liberal Party can recover – but only if it returns to principle, offers strong leadership, repairs its unity, addresses economic fundamentals, and re-engages voters with conviction. Anything less would not only fail to revive the party, it would betray those Australians who seek a real alternative to statist consensus.”
AI Maggie’s assessment is as sharp and concise as any analysis offered so far. This is disturbing for a lot of obvious reasons and none less so than the fact it took approximately 14 seconds for AI Maggie to come up with a response that few in the Liberal Party could have bettered.
Really? That's how the reptiles are going to fill up their space?
Talk about a complete vacuum, roughly equivalent to a walk in space with Buzz.
Here, have a serve of the weekend infallible Pope, celebrating AI ...
And so to the very last, most dismal of all, reptile offering this day.
It almost did the pond's head in, but the pond had to feature the craven Craven, if only to show what the Freudian psychological condition of "Projection" looked like:
..projection is the mental process in which an individual attributes their own internal thoughts, beliefs, emotions, experiences, and personality traits to another person or group. (wiki)
Even more to the point, this is what an hysteric ranting into the void looks and sounds like.
The reptiles are always standing by to denounce catastrophism, apocalyptic thinking and such like, frequently in relation to climate science, but that sort of doom mongering can't hold a candle to the craven Craven in full flight ...
The header, proving that a pathological clown would resort to pathological projection at the pathological drop of a hat: There is a pathology that impels Victoria towards supporting even flailing ‘progressive’ governments, Victoria’s obsession with being the most progressive – that is, fashionably out there – state in Australia mixes policy ineptitude with the blackest of black humour.
The caption for the truly inept, thankfully uncredited opening artwork: Remarkably, Melbourne’s elites have managed to recruit so many standard Victorians to their causes, such as spending on the arts and the supremacy of climate politics.
All that did was remind the pond of how much better off Melbourne was, having retained its trams, one of the great joys of the town ...
The craven Craven immediately got off on the wrong foot with the pond ...
Watching the collapse of Victoria under a mudslide of wokeism and enthusiastic bankruptcy is not the proverbial train wreck in slow motion. The footage actually has to be sped up, simply to catch every detail of disaster.
Sorry, the use of that word immediately triggered a pond contractual requirement ...
The pond agrees that "f*ckhead" (*Blogger bot censor at work) doesn't conjure up the enormous amount of fatuous stupidity embodied in the increasingly irrelevant, and therefore increasingly embittered, craven Craven, but it's a start.
Also keep in mind another point that Hasan made in his no kings moment ...
“The people who can’t get through a single day without hating,” he said. “On late night comedians and overweight soldiers and Muslim politicians and Mexican immigrants and Palestinian refugees and black women and transgender kids and peaceful protesters and Mr. fricking Potato Head, they are lecturing us on hate? Really?"
Victoria’s obsession with being the most progressive – that is, fashionably out there – state in Australia mixes policy ineptitude with the blackest of black humour. Nothing exemplifies it better than the decision to place a convicted pedophile male who has transitioned to being a female in a women’s jail.
Victoria is led by the ostentatiously feminist Jacinta Allen. But when it comes to a cretinously obvious choice between flaunting leftist hauteur and upholding the rights and feelings of just about any woman, the opportunity to dispense God-like political correctness is irresistible.
Unsurprisingly, this is part of a confident pattern that will hear no contradiction. The Victorian Education Department has “supported” young Victorian students in gender transition with the routine facility of remarking an essay. Learning materials spout the joys of gender dysphoria and the radical possibilities to address it.
To goggle at all this is not to suggest further discrimination against already vulnerable people. But it is fair to marvel at a government so driven by political pride that it can enact radical policies that endanger the very people it is supposed to help.
This is the same government that imprisoned and curfewed its own people during Covid, while continuously lecturing them on their own unhealthiness and imminent death. Smirking social despotism is a thing in Victoria.
But even sexual engineering blushes in the presence of Victoria’s very recent treaty with its Indigenous people, sponsored by the Yoorrook Justice Commission, itself inspired by a process of “truth-telling”.
For something supposed to be based on truth, the Yoorrook reports are the most partial, ahistorical, weakly researched and fantastical works since Gulliver’s Travels. They are so bad that the few objective facts they do contain are overwhelmed by their shady companions.
The craven Craven then showed off his inner academic ponce by deploying "indigeneity" as a naughty swear word ... Victorians naturally turn to cultural issues posing no danger to themselves, such as gender or Indigeneity.
What a lark. As any reader of the hive mind knows, the concept of gender poses a real and present danger to the lizards of Oz. They're always rabbiting on in a form of volcanic hysteria about the latest TG transgression.
Ditto indigeneity, another dire danger.The craven Craven once fancied himself as a Voice type, but the mob soon found him out, and that's why the pond ended up on Merriam-Webster, in an attempt to decipher the latest variation on hate speech black bashing...
Yep, the very notion is a clear and present danger.
How else to explain their incessant carping about the Voice, their endless demonising of that terrifying experience, a nightmare that might yet return again to haunt their dreaming?
How else to explain the craven Craven wandering around like a latter-day Victorian chook version of Chicken Little, ringing his hands and complaining about all kinds of falling clouds?
The Victorian parliament took up this tune when it passed its own Treaty Act.
True to its progressive playbook, the Allan government starts with denying there is any crisis, then blames its opponents for duping a gullible public, then admits there is some mild difficulty, and finally passes a couple of symbolic laws to shut people up. Its real position is that crime is a product of disadvantage, and should be solved by uplifting social reforms it cannot for the moment identify.
That answers the question of how long before the reptiles resort to crime in the streets angle?
Not long at all, it's never long at all, and so the craven Craven earned himself a double bunger of fear-mongering snaps, Wan Lai, a 36-year-old sushi chef was stabbed in Lt Bourke St last week, on her way to work. Picture: 7News; Victorian businesses say they are suffering as retail crime reaches record heights across the state.
Then it was more catastrophism and disaster ...
One weird manifestation of this fatalism is the number of Victorians who readily opine that the Labor government is bankrupting the state, but absolutely refuse to contemplate a conservative alternative. They dismiss the opposition as a gormless rabble. But the hard question has to be asked: How bad would you have to be to rank below the cabal of performative socialists who have led Victoria to economic ruin?
This acceptance of disaster without attempting to move out of its way has to go deeper than a couple of political decades. There is a deeper psychology, even a pathology, that impels the former garden state towards supporting even flailing “progressive” governments. This seems to stem from the state’s self-image. In a prosaic federation, embarrassed by admitting difference, we often forget our states do have distinct images of themselves. The Western Australians are entrepreneurs, the Queenslanders dedicatedly relaxed, the New South Welsh perennially exciting, and so forth.
At this point, the reptiles introduced the sort of image and AV distraction designed to terrify, Sky News host James Macpherson discusses Melbourne CBD protests and how they resembled a “war zone”. “The Melbourne CBD resembled a war zone this afternoon,” Mr Macpherson said. “As police used tear gas, stun grenades and rubber bullets in a bid to control duelling protests.”
This is a war zone, as Vlad the sociopath goes about his business ...
This is a protest ...
Time to wrap up the craven Craven, driven mad by his status as an irrelevant, embittered one time academic ...
It is a truism of Western cultural elites that they swing to the left. They disdain popular politics around issues as crude as law and order or availability of land for appallingly unartistic houses in as yet unnamed suburbs.
They naturally turn to cultural issues posing no danger to themselves, but plenty of opportunities for self-congratulation, such as gender or Indigeneity. They also demand spending on the arts and the supremacy of climate politics. The genuinely remarkable thing is that Melbourne’s elites have managed to recruit so many standard Victorians to their cause.
It is worth remembering that the infamously determined conservative premier, Jeff Kennett, was never loved in Victoria. He was ungraciously accepted to fix a fiasco, then promptly dispatched.
All of which means that as a fetish of enjoyable, flabby leftism, Victoria not only anticipates disaster, but embraces it. Yet catastrophe is never an easy lover.
Greg Craven is former vice-chancellor of the Australian Catholic University.
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